mental_floss magazine
SUBSCRIBE >
GIFT SUBSCRIPTIONS >
DIGITAL SUBSCRIPTIONS >
subscriber services >
Aside from sexuality-altering Teletubbies and questionable role models like Joe Camel, there are few more effective ways of messing with our kids’ minds than through bedtime stories. (Remember Why Mommy is a Democrat and Help! Mom! There’s a Liberal Under My Bed!? If not, reminisce with this post from last November.) As with many things, however, it seems in this department too the Russians have us beat. Witness this book, published in the 90s and marketed to parents of misbehaving kids. Here are a few juicy excerpts, scanned and loosely translated by our comrades at Englishrussia:
“You haven’t cleaned up your room? Then ugly monks will come to take you soon.”
Translation’s pretty rough here, but the picture says it all: “If you cry each time, prepare to melt from the tears like a piece of sugar.”
“If you plan not to listen to your father, wild black cats will scratch your brother.”
“If you play during your meal each time, then you should know that spider will come.”
“You like to fight with your fellow-friends? Then you’ll be bitten by different snakes!”
“If you are greedy and don’t share balls, probably you would be eaten by wolves.”
Comments (10)
Comment
I’d bet that if you looked at children’s books in America 100 years ago you’d have seen some of the same themes.
The old-fashion notion is, extreme as it may be or seem today, that we should make kids do what we think is right and keeps them safe at any cost. While I don’t subscribe to this approach, sometimes I question people going to other extreme in modern parenting (try to teach kids to make their own appropriate decisions regardless of the consequences of bad choice).
As a parent, I want my kids to think for themselves and understand why I set rules or think certain actions are appropriate/inappropriate and yet with a 5 year old there comes a time that in some way you have to say I know more than you and you will do what I say because I said so (otherwise she’ll obfuscate the issue only the way that an innocent, id-driven child can).
posted by Tom on 6-21-2007 at 8:35 am
I didn’t proofread myself very well. Ugh…
While I don’t subscribe to this approach, sometimes I question people going to the other extreme in modern parenting (try to teach kids to make their own appropriate decisions regardless of the consequences of bad choices).
posted by Tom on 6-21-2007 at 8:44 am
Beware of ugly monks bearing rock salt…
posted by Jason! on 6-21-2007 at 8:57 am
Well, if the cats are gonna scratch my brother…I’m crying. To heck with it all…!!!
posted by Ignacio on 6-21-2007 at 12:42 pm
Doesn’t the hut with the chicken legs look a lot like Baba Yaga’s hut from Slavic folklore?
posted by Jud on 6-21-2007 at 1:14 pm
That’s one weird-looking cat.
posted by Pointy-Hatted Geek on 6-21-2007 at 3:18 pm
Well, translations are loose, for example there is no mention of monks in the first picture. Those are the old ladies, and they look like Baba Yaga and their hut is the one with chicken legs. :-)
This book appeared in 90’s. Apparently author wanted to make some money with this funny stuff. Those were the wild years. :-)
posted by Sergey on 6-21-2007 at 9:23 pm
I am with the Baba Yaga camp. I can remember very clearly stories of Baba Yaga’s cabin on chicken legs,and they were way more terrifying than monks. My auntie told me plenty of Baba stories to keep my behaviour in line. She travelled by rowing a mortar with a pestle like a boat. Every time I saw a pharmacy I was convinced she had parked there and I’d better be darn good.
posted by Allison on 6-22-2007 at 3:14 pm
I speak Russian and the translations are a hoax. Someone just thought that it would be funny to make up there own words. They really aren’t even close. It’s funny though.
posted by Jeremy on 6-22-2007 at 6:11 pm
Yeah. The Translations are completely wrong. I mean, look at the length of the statements even.
The first one that is supposedly about ugly monks coming and taking you away really says “You didn’t pickup your toys. You left them on the floor.”
It’s possible the book really does have these quotes though, because they sound very soviet russia. Maybe they are just not the quotes that are right next to the picture.
posted by James on 6-23-2007 at 1:31 pm