mental_floss magazine
SUBSCRIBE >
GIFT SUBSCRIPTIONS >
DIGITAL SUBSCRIPTIONS >
subscriber services >
The bedrooms of children have always provided a kind of sabbatical for horror story/fairy tale aggressors, so it shouldn’t be surprising that someone finally manufactures a night light designed to legitimize children’s fears; enter the Blue Moon Night Light. For $29.95 it comes rigged with “14 super bright LEDs” and will make it appear as though your mattress is slightly radioactive. Well, then! I wonder what an all-child focus group would have to say about this product; it seems to me the worst thing about the monster-under-your-bed scenarios was that you were powerless to detect the beasts’ presence or approach, and the best thing about night lights was that they were clearly benevolent (or at least benign) and clearly plugged into the wall…I’m not sure a paroling illumination would be so welcome if it were coming from beneath my bed. Anybody else?
Comments (9)
Comment
If I saw this light coming from underneath my bed, I wouldn’t think there were monsters under there. I would think there were demons or something else that was there to take posession of me.
posted by Lindsay D on 6-27-2007 at 10:18 am
I don’t know… I think if the child was aware of what it was, it would actually make them feel more safe (just don’t stick it under there one night and surprise them–then they’d surely have a heart attack). This way, you could know with more certainty that there was nothing under there as long as you didn’t see shadows moving around. Further, having a light under the bed might just be enough to scare away potential monsters thinking of setting up shop down there. Like, if you’re afraid there’s a monster in the closet, you want to keep the closet light on and the door open so you know for sure that there’s nothing there, and so monsters would know this was a high visibility closet, too risky to invade. Or maybe I was an odd child…
posted by Cynthia on 6-27-2007 at 10:45 am
i would probably put the light underneath my bed one night, then forget all about it and freak out the next thinking something landed there. i probably read to many horror sotries as a kid… def. not the best life choice since i was so scared of the dark… oh well
posted by trouble on 6-27-2007 at 10:50 am
I would be far too tempted to sneak in at night and put a few action figures around the light. Let them wake up to a long, menacing shadow coming out from under their bed.
posted by Kevin on 6-27-2007 at 11:00 am
Those lights need to change color or rotate or something. A fog machine would be a nice addition.
posted by Thomas Pfau on 6-27-2007 at 12:22 pm
I would like to see that kind of machine put to use in more adult bedrooms, especially if it comes with optional fog, or maybe some Barry White music for the older generation, perhaps we could take it even a step further, and have it linked remotely to a video camera hidden in the corner…instant porn.
posted by Melissa K on 6-27-2007 at 5:39 pm
1) Why would you put this under your child’s bed without explaining the light first? No sane parent would toss it under without explanation. I hope.
2) Don’t night lights in general aggravate nearsightedness or am I a few research studies behind?
3) Wouldn’t have worked with me anyway– under the bed was always storage-storage-storage.
posted by Brammimonde on 6-27-2007 at 8:03 pm
“… as long as you didn’t see shadows moving around.” Well, there goes my kids’ security. There are always cats moving around under the bed.
But I would love one for MY bed! Make it purple, and add a disco ball as well as the fog.
posted by Miss Cellania on 6-27-2007 at 10:12 pm
Pimp my Bed?!…..
posted by Myra on 6-28-2007 at 12:20 pm