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Jason English
Name That School
by Jason English - July 2, 2007 - 10:00 PM

School names generally fall into four categories. They are:

ronaldreagan.jpg1. Geographical. Names are often derived from characteristics that define an area, or the area itself (Lakeview, Valleyview, Chatham Middle School, West Morris Central, Livingston High School).

2. Famous Historical Figures. Many schools are named in honor of the great men and women studied within (Ronald Reagan Middle School, Dr. Sally K. Ride Elementary, Helen Keller School, Herbert Hoover Elementary, Johnny Appleseed School and Polk High).

3. Less Famous Historical Figures. Others celebrate the legacies of former board of education members, notable principals, or otherwise prominent residents (Amos W. Harrison Elementary, Alexander Doniphan Elementary, Katharine D. Malone School).

4. Feel-Good Words. When all else fails, go with a pleasant-sounding or patriotic noun (Liberty Middle School, Independence Elementary, Patriot Elementary School, Rolling Hills School, Green Meadow School).

And there is probably a fifth group encompassing everything I missed. But rather than prolong this exercise in categorization, let’s consider unearthing some new ground. I think we can do better than the same old naming conventions. If you found yourself in position to name a school — for argument’s sake, let’s say it’s a middle school; a massive write-in vote elected you the decider for this peculiar endeavor — who or what would you honor? No city names or Presidents. Think harder.

Bonus question.
Back in March, Miss Cellania had arguably the greatest mental_floss post ever, with her look at school mascots. If you went to or live near or know of a bizarrely named school (not nicknamed), that’s also something we’d like to know.

Comments (31)
  1. wow…I never thought that when I clicked on “Liberty Middle School,” it would take me to the middle school I actually went to!

  2. Stuck in the Middle School

  3. How about Catholic grade schools named for (obscure)Saints. I went to Saint Bonaventure, try spelling “Bonaventure” when you’re 6. Then there’s St. Irenaeus, St. Athanasius, St. Januarius, St. Pamphilus, etc. I imagine it was difficult for 1st graders to spell “Transfiguration Elementary”.

  4. Why, thank you, Jason, that was a very nice thing to say about my post!

  5. Anchorage has Ursa Major Elementary and Ursa Minor Elementary. Probably the only schools named after constellations. With that in mind I would have to recommend Betelgeuse Middle School.

  6. I definitely second the obscure names of church-affiliated schools. I grew up in St. Martin parish in Louisiana, but spent my first 9 years of school at St. Bernard elementary. Oh, yes, there was a St. Bernard parish (several hours drive away). I also don’t think there was a St. Martin catholic school in St. Martin parish… I guess they were just keeping the separation of church and state in mind and ignoring actual geographic situation.

    Also, though, there are the descriptive school names. Later in high school, I attended the “Louisiana School for Math, Science, and the Arts.” Several other schools are similarly named, mostly magnet schools. Here in Chattanooga, for example, there is the Chattanooga School for Arts and Sciences.

  7. It’s not obscure or anything but up in Victoria Canada we have our very own South Park School… And a beautiful building it is! Go to Google images and type in South Park School for a look.

  8. It’s not obscure or anything but up in Victoria Canada we have our very own South Park School… And a beautiful building it is! Go to Google images and type in South Park School for a look.

  9. I think it would be a great idea to add a fifth catagory, the “punny” catagory. Then we could have names like:

    Gota School
    Dear Watson Elementary
    Electro Magnet School
    Middling Middle School
    Junior Junior High

    Etc….

  10. In honor of the Harry Potter frenzy that is this summer–with the release of the fifth movie and seventh book–and in honor of my own embarrassing dorkiness, I would have to go with Hogwarts Middle School (I’d drop the ‘of Witchcraft and Wizardry’ part because it would be false advertising). Just think of all the possibilities for mascots and school events themes (eg, The Hogwarts Hippogriffs basketball team, The Triwizard Spelling Bee). And all of those lucky kids who attended could reminisce about their fond days at Hogwarts to their children when they get older. I know, it’s not very creative, and maybe a little sad coming from a 25 year-old woman–but still, a girl can dream… :)

  11. WOW - can’t believe you left off the most BORING of naming systems — numerical, as in NYC.

    PS 100, PS 102, etc etc. For their grade and middle schools as I recall. The High Schools had names (Polk, etc.)

    In Milwaukee, schools also used a boring convention at first — many were just named after the streets they were on. Such as 24th Street and Green Bay Avenue grade schools. Until more than 4 were needed, we had East, West, North and South High schools. I would put these under the “geographical” category.

  12. Our high school in Maine was named Telstar after the satellite that carried the first transatlantic television signal. AT&T’s ground station was located nearby.

  13. Near here there’s a Neil Armstrong Elementary school. Anyone else know of a school named for a famous person who’s still alive?

  14. Oh, I need to add that Neil isn’t from around here and didn’t attend the school…

  15. In my town the middle schools are North and South Middle School. Guess what side of town they’re on!

    I like the idea of naming schools after constellations as well. Or randomly making up names to name the school after.

    I can see it now:
    “I go to George McGrasham Middle School.”
    “Really? What did he do?”
    “Oh, nothing.”

  16. I think I’d name a school after my favorite author and my favorite artist. Hesse-Klee Middle School.

    Of course, you’d probably have to dedicate a good portion of the 7th grade orientation session to teaching the correct pronunciation…

  17. How interesting! The Manhattan Institute published an article on this exact topic yesterday! How timely!

  18. My hometown had schools named after famous battles as well as famous people, such as Goliad and San Jacinto. (Texas history, by the way.) Not to mention a high school named after a geological era, Odessa Permian High School!

  19. My hometown has one small school, named after the town. Where I live now, the neighborhood schools kept their boring geographic names when they sorted out by age, so now we have Central Primary and South Elementary and East Middle School. The high school got to keep the town name.

  20. Most of our elementary and middle schools are named after local important people (except for a couple that are named after the neighborhood they’re located in). Our high schools are Southeast, Northeast, East, Southwest, and Lincoln High (the original high school in the city)…then there’s North Star (which is located in the Northwest side of town!?!) I don’t understand why they decided to change how they named the schools.

  21. I don’t know if this counts, but my high school (and entire town of Brockton, MA) is named after Isaac Brock, a British war hero of the War of 1812. He was stationed in Canada and defended the border from the US.

  22. My school district was Mid Valley. It formed in the early 70’s when the three towns were too small to keep their own schools. We were the Spartans. We were almost the Dots. Yeah, as in Polka. The three towns started with D, O, and T.

  23. It’s a shame this one has changed, but I remember as a kid the Hanford, Washington high school mascot was the Hanford Bombers, with the logo being a mushroom cloud. A great reference to Hanford’s role in helping win WWII.

    I just checked, and they have changed it to the Falcons. What a shame.

  24. My highschool was named Signos (Signs in Spanish)and everybody thought it was a night club. Does that count?

  25. In Sioux Falls we have an elementary school that’s also named after a living person; Terry Redlin, a South Dakota artist of some renown. Before Jim’s mention of Neil Armstrong’s namesake, I thought Terry’s was the only one.

    I think it’s a bad idea. What happens if the guy goes off the deep end and does something terribly embarrassing? Will they still want the school to be known by his name?

  26. I teach in NYC at a school called the Baccalaureate School for Global Education. Not only is the name impossible to say (try it 5 times fast) but the kids (grades 7-12) have a heck of a time spelling it. I think one of the them spelled it wrong on facebook…

  27. About the NYC numerical system, they have second names. And they’re usually after important historical figures. My elementary was P.S. 151 aka The Lyndon B. Johnson School. So it’s not all incompassing the numerical idea.

  28. I would add another category - people who donated money. I went to two separate private schools that changed from geography names to people names, in one case the name of the father of the donor. Both schools were in the middle of building new campuses and needed money badly.

  29. There’s an elementary school in western Maryland called “Conococheague Elementary.” It’s pronounced CON-a-ca-chig. Try saying that as an adult, much less a child. It’s named, I believe, after a creek located nearby with the same name that originates in Pennsylvania and empties into the Potomac River.

  30. In Lawrence, Kansas, the second of our two high schools was named Lawrence Free State High School in honor of and reference to Kansas’ history in the abolition movement.
    Particularly cool given that our town survived Quantrill’s Raid and all that noise.

  31. I haven’t seen anything like this so far: The town near where I grew up, Salem, Ohio, and Salem High School has the mascot the Quaker (a.k.a. Quaker Sam). The Salem Quakers (a.k.a. The Fighting Quakers!).

    I never thought much about it until after I moved away and saw the outside world. And thought about it in terms of there are no school mascots like the Marietta Protestants, the Lakeville Hindus or the Plattville Raging Christians.

    From their website, it looks like they’ve laid off actually mentioning the Quaker, but his pic is still alive and well. They’re logo is also now an Ohio State “O” that has been bastardized into a “Q.”

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