I used to have two cats, until one disappeared. Ever since this happened, my other cat has been wandering aimlessly around the house, pretty much useless. Is there anything else like this out there?

Anna
Lubbock, TX

This reminds me of the relationship Tiger Woods had with his former swing coach, and not just because a tiger is one of the four species of cat in the genus Panthera (tiger, lion, jaguar and leopard).

Tiger split with Butch Harmon in 2002 after the U.S. Open. Before the parting of ways, Woods had won seven of the previous eleven major championships, which is like your cat’s general attitude before becoming useless. Without Butch — your other cat in this analogy — Tiger was basically wandering aimlessly, not winning another major title until 2005.

But it’s important to remember that Tiger eventually returned to his previous unbeatable form, winning tournament after tournament, buying a $39 million Florida home with his supermodel wife, and becoming a father. If this analogy holds, your cat will be fine (in three years, tops).

I just realized why my new boss seemed so familiar. Though we didn’t go to the same school, she had a bit of an, um, reputation in high school (I attended a parochial school in the same town in the early 1990s and she’s a few years older.) I’m not sure how much of it was true, but she sure dressed the part, and I know she never graduated. Now she’s a completely different person, married, very driven and a great boss. I’ll carry her secrets to my grave. Or at least my exit interview. What’s an analogy for her change, and my feigned ignorance?

Tommy
Manhattan, Kansas

Your suspension of disbelief is similar to the way viewers treat repeat actors on the same sitcom. For example, on The Golden Girls, the same actor who played Rose Nylund’s lover Miles also appeared in season one as Arnie — another of Rose’s male suitors. That Miles was actually in the Witness Protection Program is confusing and rather ridiculous, but irrelevant. The actor (your boss) and the show in general (your company at large) are both best served by your playing ignorant.

Another example: Ted McGinley, who starred as Jefferson D’Arcy on Married…with Children for seven seasons, played Peggy’s husband Norman Jablonski in the 1989 Christmas episode (”Whoa, Jablonski!”). Ted was fully accepted into our living rooms as Jefferson, unless of course your parents didn’t allow you to watch this program. We acted like his previous role never happened. Just like you’re doing with your boss’ (mildly) scandalous past.

If you’re not a Golden Girls or Married…with Children fan, this analogy also works with The Cosby Show – Denise’s husband Lt. Martin Kendall previously appeared in season two as Sondra’s date Darryl, a pre-med student Cliff Huxtable found preferable to Elvin and his wilderness-store-in-Brooklyn dreams.

When it comes to awkwardness prevention and sitcom enjoyability, feigned ignorance is bliss.

If you missed the first installment, catch up here. Or email us a situation to be Analogized.