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David K. Israel
Weekend Word Wrap: What’s in a Name?
by David K. Israel - July 13, 2007 - 2:39 AM

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I’ll tell you what’s in a name: money, that’s what—at least according to the Wall Street Journal, which recently ran a story on baby-name consultants who are popping up across the country and getting around $500 a pop to come up with just the right name for your little one. Can you believe that malarkey folks? $500!

Oh, and apparently there’ve been 80 baby-naming books published in the last 3 years. THREE YEARS!

If you’re sensing that I’m a little worked-up over all this, it’s probably because my wife and I are expecting our first in a matter of days and we still haven’t found the right name. Which is to say, we’re still looking. Which is to say, we’re actually considering a naming consultant. Which is to say, the sum in our bank account is about to shrivel even further—as if all the baby-paraphernalia hasn’t created a big enough hole, now there’s the hiring of the word guru.

I mean honestly. Has it really come to this? Do babies really need to be branded?

How about some help from you loyal readers on this one? Save my wife and me half a grand and help us come up with a name, won’t you?

And remember: it has to go well with Israel, which is a tall order, we realize, because most of the biblical names are immediately ruled out. Abraham, Isaac, Moshe, all a bit too raging-Heeb when put in front of Israel. Jacob, which we actually like, doesn’t work either because he was Israel. Melvin Israel, Sidney Israel, Seymour Israel, they all sound like babies admitted to the geriatric center 80 years prematurely (and perhaps babies with rank halitosis, as well).

Jack, I like. Henry, she likes. Oliver, she likes. Lenny, I like. Wolfgang has even entered the running, believe it or not. Mangesh has been discussed, but only because I work for the _floss. I mean honestly, Mangesh Israel ? It’s a great name, Mangesh, but not for us. Sorry.

Anyway, drop your suggestion in the comments and hopefully someone will come up with something that saves us from the baby-naming consultant! [ed note: yup, it's a boy folks!]

Comments (83)
  1. how about ’siddharth’
    i think it goes well with israel.
    kind of a rhythm to it.
    i like jack too.

  2. how about ’siddharth’
    i think it goes well with israel.
    kind of a rhythm to it.
    i like jack too. (in case you end up taking votes)

  3. Flynn, Hamish, Sol, Finn, Cohen, Fraser, Jude, Julian, George, Ellis. If its a name like Flynn or Jack – with just one syllable – then maybe put a middle name with two syllables: Flynn Oliver Israel. Or something like that. Don’t worry too much about meaning, because it should just mean something to you and your wife personally. And besides, maybe when he’s born you will know instantly what to call him!

  4. Beth Israel, my wife says.

    I dunno, I says. I think they’re expecting a boy.

    It still works, she says. Can you imagine Beth Israel having to wait for a table in a restaurant? Getting turned down for Harvard Medical School? Getting paged at the hospital?

    He doesn’t have to be a doctor just because he has a jewish name, honey. What if he repairs broken dolls or watches for a living?

    The Beth Israel Doll Hospital? Take your watch to Beth Israel for a checkup? Gotta say that name recognition would have all sorts of advantages.

    But a boy named Beth? It doesn’t *say* they are having a boy, but male names are all that are being bandied about. Wouldn’t that be like “A Boy Named Sue”?

    If the Learned family can name their girl Michael, the Israel family can name their boy Beth. Or they can make it Beth John Israel, and call him Jack while he is growing up.

    I dunno. Seems to me like that name might warp him.

    Don’t you remember Donald Duck? He was on Johnny Carson’s show. There were some programmers that did a database, and to test it, they searched for Donald Duck to see what a “none found” looked like, and it turned up this ficticious record where a guy was supposedly named Donald Duck. Only it wasn’t a joke. And he seemed like a nice guy, well adjusted.

    Yeah, but honey, the guy they found had that name before Walt Disney named his cartoon character. You know about R B Jones, don’t you, no names, just initials?

    That his paychecks were made out to Ronly Bonly Jones? I think that was a joke, dear. No such character.

    Well, what about Johnny Cash Penney?

    He had the name before the singer came along, dear, and he founded a nice chain of department stores. So if you don’t like naming him Beth, what do you have in mind?

    Saint. That way, when they’re looking for a babysitter, they can claim the little brat is “a genuine saint”. And the guy would have a future in politics.

    And what middle name goes well with Saint Israel?

    I was thinking maybe Theresa….

    She hit me over the head at that point, and refuses to talk to me. I’m never sure when that happens, if it means I won the argument, or if I lost it on a technical foul.

  5. My parents went very ethnic with my name.

    However…

    Benjamin Israel.

    It rolls nicely from the tongue, will work well both in childhood and adulthood, and the familiar variant isn’t too bad either: Ben Israel. On the downside are variants like Benny and Benji, both of which take on a tortured Dr. Seuss aspect when coupled with the last name. This might be true for just about any name.

    Some might say it is a wee bit ethnic.

    Nah!

  6. How about William David Israel.

    That’s what my little guy is named. William David.

    You have my permission to use it.

  7. Have you thought about Albert (as in Einstein?). Or there’s always the old standby, the Grandparents’s names.
    Or the Classics: William, Frederick, Johnathon, Stephen, etc.

  8. i think broderick would be nice. brody for short. brody israel…

  9. Mohammed

  10. Beth Israel sounds like a synogague. There is always Shlomo.

  11. If you’re not concerned about originality (and I grew up as a Jennifer from the 70’s…with an average of 3 other Jennifers in every class), you could go for Ethan or Nathan. Both sound very good with Israel.

    (Unfortunately, my son is named Ethan, the #1 boys name for his birth year. XP )

  12. May we assume it’s a boy, since you didn’t mention any girl’s names? Lucky you, boys tend to be satisfied with the name you give them. Girls, on the other hand, hate their names at one point or another in their lives, no matter how perfect it is. So what’s wrong with David?

  13. As a starting point, you could use the “old-money formula,” which always consists of four names (and having more than three names is correlated with higher income, which doesn’t hurt). The four names, in order, are the mother’s mother’s maiden surname, the father’s mother’s maiden surname, the mother’s maiden surname, and the father’s surname. This covers the last names of all four grandparents, which they may enjoy.

    This system, which you’ll see in action by reading the class list at a good prep school, can create either distinguished or unfortunate combinations, and is used for both boys and girls. I’ve known two poor girls who ended up with Dudley as a first name, but another with the lovely combination of Cameron MacKenzie Rhys DuPree.

    If the surnames are not melodic, you could always substitute some from earlier generations (or truncate and combine).

    Best wishes for an easy birth and healthy child.

  14. Well, I’m a Simon, and that sort of goes. But it’s a very biblical name too.

    My boys are Declan and Tavish. Both Irish Gaelic names, more by chance than intent since my wife and I just liked the names and didn’t intend for them both to have the same roots.

    Some other friends just named their boy Garion. I like the sound of that.

    Whatever happens, please do let us know what the end result is!

  15. How about nice and simple
    Isaac or
    Leah

  16. I have to say I like Benjamin Israel. Its even a partial homage to Benjamin Disraeli!

    I agree that you want to avoid too many names which sound too Hebrew. I like the David suggestion also. I like a 2 syllable first name with your last name especially with a hard consonant at the end of the first name.

    How about Ian Israel?

  17. What about Paul?

  18. I went through this a couple of years ago. There were two main qualifiers for the name that I was looking for. 1. I wanted a name that wasn’t too popular, so that he wouldn’t be saddled with the ‘First Name plus Last Initial’ moniker during his entire school career. But also a name that wasn’t so obscure that he’d have to constantly spell it for people or repeat it a few times to be understood. 2. The name had to be able to be shortened to a nickname, and I had to like that nickname. For example, if your name is Todd, then your name will always be Todd and only Todd. If your name is William, then you can be Will, Bill, Billy, etc. I like the idea that you can maintain your name but still tailor it to suit you individually, and that your name can grow with you as you mature. Also along that vein, I like Andrew but I’m not too fond of Andy or Drew, so that name was out. I think that, no matter what name you give your child, if it’s able to be shortened, it will be. If you name your darling son Christopher and insist that it is always Christopher and never Chris, that will probably last for the first 4 or 5 years of his life and then end as soon as he gets to school.

    To help with my first criteria, I found that the Social Security Administration has a searchable database of names going back more than 100 years. I used it primarily to check the popularity of names I’d been considering. It can also be used to suggest names, but I think baby name books are just easier to use for that.

    I don’t think that a ‘naming consultant’ is going to offer you any suggestions that you can’t find on your own. Maybe it’s best to just have some ideas in your head, but to let go of the pressure to find THE name right now. We didn’t name my son until he was about 2 days old. We wound up choosing a name that we had mentioned, but hadn’t really been on our top list of names, because it seemed to suit him so well. My beautiful son is Zachary.

  19. I’d stay away from Oliver ‘All over Israel’? How about Connor, Timothy or Callum?

  20. How about naming him… Nothing?

    No, really. Then his name would be Nothing Israel, which Beatles fans who know “Strawberry Fields Forever” would really get a kick out of.

    “…Nothing Israel, and nothing to get hung about…”

    Okay, never mind. Bad idea.

  21. I like Aaron, Adam, Eamon, Ethan, Ian, and Owen. Somehow, the vowel sounds at the beginning of each name sound pleasant when you say the first and last name together. I also seem to prefer two syllables. Don’t know why either of these is the case, just sounds nice to me.

  22. Levi Israel…..son of Jacob(Israel)

  23. Sean or Shawn Israel has a nice ring to it

  24. Henry is my current favorite name for a boy. I also like Aiden and Mason, but I wonder if those are maybe kind of trendy names? Ooooh, but Aiden Israel sounds kind of nice.

  25. Whatever you name him, do him a favor and make it something he can find on one of those tourist-y pre-made keychains or magnets. Nothing worse than a kid with a name that tchotchke manufactuers aren’t aware of.

  26. Felix

  27. My boyfriend and I were walking in our town’s beautiful cemetary a month or two ago and decided that it would be a perfect place to find a name for a baby. This may sound morbid at first but don’t forget that cemetaries used to be a popular place for sunday afternoon strolls before general society decided they were frightening. Anyway, there are soooooo many names to see there and you don’t have to worry about looking through a certain section of letters or a certain name genre… They have thousands and they just spring up in front of you! It’s always fun to read the gravestones too… We stumbled across two next to each other that read “transp-” and “lanted”. I wonder where they were before.

    P.S. If you ever have a girl, I’m partial to the name Margot. (mar-goh)

  28. I have a twin brother named Reagan (family name) but he was almost named Maxfeild which is name I really care for. Maxfield Israel or Maxwell Israel both have a nice ring.

  29. This is a tough one. I raised 2 daughters. Rachael and Katrina. They both went through a phase of hating their names but now seem to have accepted them.

    My only suggestion is to try and avoid names that can be easily changed into a nickname. Some can be cruel.

  30. Nathan Israel sounds like he could be a man of great importance. Say it with me in a deep voice: Nathan Israel.

  31. I’ve always liked the name Max, but that doesn’t seem to work in this situation.
    Max Israel?

    What about Alan Israel?

  32. I know a Marcus Israel, and I’ve always thought that was a pretty groovy name combination. I like the sound of Broderick, as suggested above, but it sounds so damn yuppie.

  33. Whatever you decide, don’t tell anyone until the baby is born. If you tell, you will only hear stories about how they knew someone with that name and what a bad association they have with it.

    My wife and I named my son after my grandfather (Samuel) who was very important to me. He cried when he found out. I had know a couple of Sam’s throughout school, and they were great guys that everyone liked. And so far, my Sam is a great kid that everyone likes.

    My vote is for Sam (Samuel). An honest, down to earth name. And it’s available on all kinds of personalized stuff.

  34. Seth

  35. Alan Israel sounds good. It has a ring to it.

    I like the name Nicholas

    Nicholas Israel?

  36. I like Marcus and Nathan. Both very good suggestions. I’ll have to have you guys decide my baby’s name. I’ll be in touch. ;)

  37. whatever name you pick, sing the name-game song with it first… I’m a becky so it goes becky, becky bo-becky bananafana fo fecky mi-my-mo mecky BECKY!

    I know a few kids named Tucker that the song isn’t so kind to…

  38. I think Loren would be good.

    Another great idea source is the end credits of a movie. Am I in the minority because I read all the names?

    “Nothing Israel” ! a crackup!
    Beatles names are also good. All would work:
    Paul, George, John, Richard then try Brian, Malcolm, Geoffrey (Epstein, Evans,Emerick)

  39. I like Jacob Isreal.

    It’s easy for a kid to write, it’s a name that a boy or a man can carry off (unlike some cutesy names that any man would cringe at having), it’s available on keychains and mugs, you don’t sound like a dork saying it in public, and the best reason of all… when you yell it out the back door, it’s a name that really carries. (I know this from personal experience) My Jacob is now 16 and his is a name that has carried well from infanthood to almost-manhood.

    Erma Bombeck said that when naming your child, you should stand at your back door and yell the name several times. If you don’t feel like an idiot, it’s a good name.

    Whatever name you pick, don’t use some retarded spelling variation. Use the classic, teachers will thank you and your child won’t be left out of the personalized crap industry, like my other son, Wolfgang.

  40. Banana

    or maybe Simon

  41. I have just no tried the age-old trick of flipping though the name book and randomly pointing to a name. The first ten mal names (or male names closest in location to the femal name I landed on) were:

    Esmond
    Sacheverell
    Yorath
    Gene/Eugene
    Jyan
    Elden
    Chauncey
    Halden/Haldon (Or maybe I hit Hal. I’m not sure.)
    Tobor/Tobori
    Hedley

    If it helps, my great-grandfather is named Eugene. We call him Silly Guy.

    Some of them don’t sound too bad with Israel, though. Sorry I wasn’t more help. I’m better with girl names.

  42. Banana? What? Am I missing something?

  43. Another vote for Nathan. And what about Gabe? I love that name too.

    Hope you guys are doing well…say hi to your wife for me!

  44. Shannon Isreal.

    And, if you already know then, “he’s a boy,” not “it’s a boy”… Sorry, pet-peeve of mine, people calling babies “it.”

    Good Luck!

  45. Shannon Israel.

    And, if you already know then, “he’s a boy,” not “it’s a boy”… Sorry, pet-peeve of mine, people calling babies “it.”

    Good Luck!

  46. Deacon. I don’t know why but Deacon Israel sounds really good to me.

  47. I second tpal’s motion – if you choose a name before the baby is born, don’t tell anyone the name! For some reason, people seem to think that they’re not insulting an actual person if the baby hasn’t been born yet, so they feel justified in telling you how horrible your chosen name is. Once you present your child to the world and say, “World, meet Zachary!” people tend to be much more amiable.

  48. Also, don’t forget to check what his initials will be! I have a cousin whose first and middle names were switched at the last minute when her parents realized what her initials would be. Her initials are S.A.S.

  49. Neal is one of my faves. Jacob/Jake is also good.

  50. How about Lawrence?

  51. How about Theo, Bane, Chase, Eli, or Joseph

    Congrats on the whole procreation thing!!!!

  52. Brock! Brock Isreal is pretty manly — he could be a Jewish action hero!

    On a serious note, Ben sounds like a great name.

  53. I ike names with fun letters: Felix, Alex, Quentin, Omega, Owen

  54. huckabee. it’s the best first name ever. original. respectable. solid. huckabee. you’d be a fool to go with anything else.

  55. Why not Jack Henry? You could each call him what you want…or use both names…

  56. You hadn’t considered Tel Aviv or Haifa?
    No, I am kidding.

    I say, wait until the baby is born, and take into account one of his characteristics. It will be apparent to you immediately. Name meaning is important. Especially with a surname like Israel. Doesn’t it mean “to wrestle with angels?”

  57. Ian Israel

  58. I like Chase, Tyler, Chance, and Damon. Caitlen, ditto on your rules! I went with all of those in naming both our kids, plus no naming after someone in your family who’s still alive- middle name is ok, but I find the whole John and John Jr thing annoying, as well as my husband’s family where they just seem to recycle the same five names. Another thing to avoid- gender neutral names. I know a Jamie-Jamie couple, very confusing for friends and their own kids.

  59. Lawrence or Nathan
    or Nathan Lawerence
    Nathan Lawrence Israel

  60. if you want him to be popular i’d go with chad, brad, steve, bruce, hercules

    if you hate your child then go with: neville, eugene, nigel, erwin, earnest, basil, herbert, dick, adolf

    favorite names? corey, henry, charlie peter, kenneth, jimmy

  61. Neil Israel
    Travis Israel
    Craig Israel
    Brian Israel
    Jon Israel

    Of your suggested names, I like Jack best.

    Anyway, don’t ask me, I want to name my second son Ford (my husband talked me into Danny for the first one, after an uncle)…unless I name a daughter Fenchurch, in which case I can’t have a Ford, but I could have a Mercedes then… Yeah, don’t ask me.

  62. Oh, one more: Robert Israel. Rob or Bob don’t sound that bad either.

  63. I’m with Miss. C. on this one; go with David. And I don’t say that just because we share the name. Whatever happened to naming a firstborn son after the dad? George Foreman liked the idea so well that he named several sons after himself!

    I am #8 of nine kids, but my folks thought I was the last so they named me after my Dad, my Mom’s favorite cousin, and my maternal Grandpa. Two middle names. Nobody called my Dad by his first name except for his Mom, so they took to calling me David and it stuck.

  64. I love the name Jack.
    And Brian.

  65. Reid Faisal Israel

  66. Isaac Emmanuel Israel – but then his initials would sound like “eye-yie”

    I’m kinda fond of Timothy David for some reason.

    Anybody remember the episode of “The Dick Van Dyke show” when they explained how they named Richie? If you put all of Richies initials together you get ROSEBUD Petrie.

  67. I named my kid Becklin to be original. His friends are Dylan, Marlin, Kevin, Justin, Decklan, Callen and Edwin. My “original” name rhymes with so many names…..*sigh*

    Name the kid something easy to spell and is clearly a name people know. My son always introduces himself as “Becklin B-e-c-k-l-i-n” because people just don’t grasp what he is saying when he says the name alone.

    David or Jack.

  68. How about Donovan Israel? I’ve always like the name Donovan, and I personally think it sounds good.

    Wolfgang? Insert dorky music joke here.

  69. Dominic Israel. Arthur Israel. David Israel. You could go for the classic David Allen combo, and have a David Allen Israel. Sounds regal.

  70. My favorites:

    Elias
    Luca
    Silas
    Calvin
    Lewis
    Nathan

  71. Why not name the child after an special moment in your life. I was named after Melissa Manchester because my parents saw her in concert on their first date. (I also have been told they saw her the night I was concived, but I REALLY do not want to think about that.)
    You could also use your doctor as the baby’s namesake. That’s how my grandfather and daddy got the name Donaldson.

  72. I think you should call him Robert Quintin so his nickname could be “Bobby Q”. If you say it with a southern draw, then you can compare your child to the greatest gastronomical delights known to mankind: barbecue.

    I wanted to name at least one of my children that name, but I had girls and I couldn’t come up with a convincing enough argument for my wife to buy into it for a girl’s name.

  73. Wow! Thanks to all. My wife and I just spent the better part of the last half hour reading these and all we can say is: THANKS! Weren’t expecting such a wonderful eyeful. Lots of good ones here. Lots of touching anecdotes.

    I’ll keep you posted!

  74. I really like the sound of Benjamin. Gregory isn’t too bad either. Both have a bit of flexability with them.

  75. How about:
    Enis
    Eün
    Ian
    Eli
    Alex
    Lucian

  76. how about Jerome David, in homage to J. D. Salinger. Jerome David Israel. I think it sounds alright.

  77. probably too late, but…what about
    Tobias David Isreal? Toby Isreal sounds good, and Tobias is sufficiently Jew-y, but not too old man-y. And, it’s a Gibson bass, so it’s cool. And, it’s my last name so, I’ll never get to use it

  78. Dashiell.

    There is no cooler name in the world than “Dash.”

  79. I disagree that a name that can be shortened always will be. My husband is and always was Andrew — NOT Andy or Drew — my daughter is Annabel — NOT Annie, and at 5 can quite politely correct someone with “I prefer to be called Annabel if you don’t mind.” Cousin Catherine is never Cathy, and Aunt Katarina is only that.

    I like Felix, Frederick, Samuel, Nathan, Ethan, Henry, William — the classics. My Grandfather was Wilfred — I have a soft spot for that one, too.

  80. Not Jack, Jacob, Ethan or Alex! Far too many of those these days!!!

    Simon, Oliver, Dean, Lance, Lorenzo, Julian, Adrian, Brett, Lucas, Dorian, Orion, Conner, Curtis, Blake, Declan, Elliott, Evan, Calvin, Avion, Anton, Arden, Garrett, Grant, Nolan, Peter, Phillip, Preston, Rubin, Ronan, Quinton, Trevor, Zachary, Tennison, Seth, Theron, Sebastian, Samuel, Jesh, Kendrick, Brady, Milam, Brent, Nelson, Tieran, Wyatt, Dominic, Nate, Latimer, Leander, Damian, Oren

    (Can you tell I just went through this???) Best of luck!

  81. How about Azriel?

    It’s an ancient name with historical/religious Jewish meaning, and “Azriel Israel” has an odd, almost musical quality to it.

    Plus, you get the coolest name-shortening ever when he becomes “Az Is”!

  82. Bart–

    Bart Israel

  83. not bart.
    definately NOT bart.

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