Here’s another how-my-stuff-was-confiscated post. Ok, not really, but kind of. I was doing errands of the red tape variety that necessitated I pass through metal detection when the guard took issue with a particular item–or fob–on my keychain. I like to think of myself as someone who carries mace, but the reality is that no, it’s just pepper spray. It was a sudden and charged farewell, but I complied without spectacle and dropped it into the weapons-’n-such utility tub that would now be my sweet mace’s Valhalla. I proceeded with my errands, stripped of any means to enact torture upon the pleasant bureaucrats I had traveled there to meet. But I immediately began to miss the comforting fulcrum of my long-suffering keychain, and I began to think of ways I might comfort myself.

Sure, I could buy more mace. But since I’ve been sublimating a lot of angst these days into baking, I thought perhaps I’d make a mace cake. If you’re up for it, and if you have your own reasons for making a mace cake, what follows are some facts about mace (thank you, bulkpeppercorns.com) and here’s a recipe for a mace cake courtesy of Gourmet and Cynthia Knauer of Allentown, Pennsylvania.

• Mace like nutmeg is used to flavor cakes and other sweets, but mace is also used in many savory dishes. These include meats, sauces, curries, pickling, ketchup, and even Worcestershire sauce.
• Mace’s strong aroma is similar to a combination of pepper & cinnamon.

• Mace can be used as a nutmeg substitute for in most recipes. This spice has a sweeter and milder, but similar flavor to nutmeg.
• Mace is often used in place of nutmeg when dark flecks of nutmegs color might ruin the appearance of certain dishes. Ground mace can be substituted in light colored sauces, clear broths, omelets, and mashed potatoes.
• Crush or grind whole mace just prior to use in order to release it’s essential oils, flavor & aroma.
• Mace should be added at the begin of the cooking process to allow it’s full flavor to come out.

Pictures of actual cake results tk! But oh my, after the palliative wonders of my cake fade, I really might have to invest in a Stunning Ring–it’s mysterious and baaad (don’t you think?!) and boasts the strongest concentration (15% Oleoresin Capsicum, aka OC) on the market:

THE STUNNING RING™ ring uses the strongest pepper spray formula available on the market today. The formula has the industry’s highest heat rating of 2 million SHU (compared to a jalapeno pepper, which is 5000 SHU), which severely affects the mucous membranes (eyes and respiratory systems). The ring has 2-3 one second burst and has an effective range of 12 inches.