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Our Friday series continues, buffet style. Here are six possible topics for your consideration. Respond to one, answer all, whatever. Sample only what you want.
1) If you could have written any movie in history – or, more accurately, if you could tell people that you’d written any movie in history – what would it be?
2) What’s a food you’d fake a fainting spell to avoid having to eat?
3) What historical figure (pre-1900) would have made the best mental_floss blogger?
4) With what character – book, film, stage or television – do you most relate?
5) What’s the most egregious errand you ever ran while technically on-the-clock?
6) Coin a new phrase that means “I’m having a good time at this party.”
My first job out of college was at a retail real estate company where I was often overlooked as the only female in the Development department. Maybe it was old fashioned sexism, but I personally think they were all upset I knew more about football than they did. In any case, since I usually went unnoticed, I used to go out to a ballet class for an hour and a half in the mornings twice a week. No one ever mentioned my absence. My work was always completed ahead of schedule anyway, and they probably didn’t want me to tattle on their half day golf outings.
posted by Cassandra on 8-10-2007 at 6:22 am
1) Forest Gump
2) Liver & Onions
3) Mark Twain
4) Mack in Cannery Row by J. Steinbeck
5) Went to a Red Sox opening day game
6) “I’m Rippin’ it up”
posted by Bill on 8-10-2007 at 6:32 am
1. Office Space
2. Mushrooms
3. Ben Franklin
4. Steve Jobs
5. Grocery shopping and Laundromat
6. “I’m puking on everyone’s shoes!”
posted by Rabbit on 8-10-2007 at 6:40 am
1. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
2. Stuffed grape leaves
3. Mark Twain
4. Lloyd Dobbler - Say Anything
5. Car wash (I have a boring life)
6. Whoa - the cops!
posted by John on 8-10-2007 at 6:41 am
Cassandra-
Hmmmm… Perhaps you worked for a bunch of superstitious Greeks (or Trojans)? Given your first name, did they never believe you nor take your insight seriously?
posted by Sid Morrison on 8-10-2007 at 6:49 am
1) Citizen Kane if trying to impress…Titanic if thinking simply about revenue…and Howard the Duck if I am just bored and looking to duck out of a conversation.
2) Potted meat sandwiches…my grandfather would make them on white bread with mayo. Wow.
3)B. Franklin
4)Margaret…In are you there God it’s me, Margaret. Blume
5)I recently attended a retreat with four other women I work with and instead of meeting we all went to a day spa. We justified it as a trust exercise.
6)I don’t have one for this, but lately I have been using the word “natch” while also doing a a slight tsk sound and point with my left hand…I swear I did not make this one up but everyone I know has no memory of that being something anyone ever “did.” Anyone out there know what the heck I am talking about?
posted by HeatherE on 8-10-2007 at 6:59 am
1) Star Wars
2) I can’t think of anything for this one.
3) Ben Franklin
4) Sam Weir from Freaks & Geeks
5) I was a shuttle van driver for a fancy hotel in Birmingham, AL once. I used to make BK breakfast runs for the parking valets and bellmen.
6) I’m coming up blank on this one, too.
posted by Scott on 8-10-2007 at 7:04 am
1. Blade Runner
2. Mountain Oysters
3. Samuel Butler
4. Zorba & The Boss in Zorba the Greek (I know that’s two…)
5. Played golf and then joined a poker game
posted by Craig on 8-10-2007 at 7:06 am
1. Dr. Zhivago
2. Brie
3. Charles Dickens (his serial novels were like the fictional blogs of the day)
4. Forrest Gump (lol)
5. I interviewed for another job (said I had to go to the dentist)
6. coming up empty for this one
posted by JaneM on 8-10-2007 at 7:13 am
2. any organ meat
3. Genghis Khan
5. Happy Hour(s)
6. “Wicked Googly”
posted by Hope on 8-10-2007 at 7:15 am
“This party is really toastin’ my bread!!”
posted by Sofia on 8-10-2007 at 7:32 am
1) 12 Monkeys
2) Liver
3) Robert Hooke
4) Lester Burnham
5) Office Sex
6) “We are charming”
posted by mg on 8-10-2007 at 7:36 am
1. Cool Hand Luke
2. Mayo
3. Harriet Beecher Stowe
4. Bridget Jones
5. Went for facial (used dentist excuse, too)
posted by Beth on 8-10-2007 at 7:36 am
I think it’s already been mentioned, but I think Ben Franklin would be a dynamite blogger. Especially for mental_floss!
posted by Allison on 8-10-2007 at 7:38 am
1. Airplane
2. Pork Brains in milk (or out of milk) it’s not really the ‘milk’ I’m trying to avoid. And heck, I’d fake more than a sissy ‘fainting spell’ to get out of eating that.
3. Bill Shakespeare or Napoleon (tie)
4. That guy on ‘Alien’ who had the baby alien pop out of his stomach with afterbirth all over him. [note: this may have something to do with the bad Mexican food I had last night].
5. Booty Call (not exactly an ‘errand’…..)
6. Usually my compliments to the party host(s) goes something like this, “IIIIckkk hhhaammmiinng a ggrreeeaat tiiiiiimmmmee …” This of course is stammered out after huge quantities of adult beverages are comsumed.
posted by Paul on 8-10-2007 at 7:46 am
1)Casablanca – why not, it’s a great movie.
2)Sea Cucumbers and Prairie Oysters – big gulp of air and faint
3)Leonardo Da Vinci – he could have blogged about his inventions that would have been pretty cool (or jokes).
4)The Aliens from Aliens – Just joking, I can’t think of anything.
5)Testing chocolate and Candy – For real.
6)This party is made of awesome! (ok, that’s from Brotherhood 2.0, but it’s great and I borrowed it)
posted by Lisa on 8-10-2007 at 7:55 am
1. The Matrix
4. Eugene Morris Jerome from Brighton Beach Memoirs (”I’m writing this all down, so that when I grow up twisted and strange the world will know why”)
5. A co-worker and I took a tour of the Pentagon when we were supposed to be at the Transportation Department copying addresses for a mailing list.
posted by Dan H. on 8-10-2007 at 8:01 am
1. This is Spinal Tap
2. saw Bear Grylls eat the eye of a lamb on Man vs. Wild… no thanks
3. Abigail Adams (wife of a President, mother of another)
4. When I saw Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, I thought Joel Barish could have been based on my life.
5. Went to a movie for 3 hours over lunch
6. How about “this lip gloss is cool, this lip gloss be poppin’”
posted by Ed on 8-10-2007 at 8:01 am
1. Office space
2. Cauliflower Tomato soup (I can’t stand both with a passion)
3. Mark Twain - He would also be a phenomenal dinner guest
4. Charlie Bucket - Must have read that book 10 times as a kid.
4a. Gimli - Love his gruff exterior
5. Got rip roaring drunk with my boss, so I guess it wasn’t as egregious.
6. This is the Flossiest party, there could ever be - With apologies to Three Dog Night
posted by Dusty on 8-10-2007 at 8:18 am
1. Everything is Illuminated (and the book, too).
2. Blood pudding and oatmeal (not together; I just despise them both - oatmeal from experience, blood pudding on principle).
3. Susan B. Anthony.
4. Hedvig in Göran Tunström’s “The Thief” or, more accessibly and less snooty-tootily, a truly weird mix of Lorelai Gilmore and Roseanne.
5. Driving home (an hour round-trip) nearly every day to check my mail (regular mail, not e-mail)because I was waiting for letters from my husband, then fiancé. The job is long gone, but 16 years later, he is still around, so it was a good move.
6. “This isn’t nearly as painful as I thought it would be.” (I realize that lacks a certain pithy zing.)
posted by Rosemary on 8-10-2007 at 8:19 am
I’m working hard on #6, but this stay-home mom/freelance copyeditor doesn’t get out much. Here’s all I’ve got so far:
I’m really unloading the dishwasher tonight, if you know what I mean!
I’ve used up a whole pad of Post-Its tonight, if you know what I mean!
I’m putting away all the groceries tonight, if you know what I mean!
I’m using up a whole roll of stamps tonight, if you know what I mean!
I’m not folding any pillowcases tonight, if you know what I mean!
Sigh.
posted by Karen on 8-10-2007 at 8:20 am
1.The Philadelphia Story (so funny!)
2. In India there is a delicacy made from fetal goat. I don’t think I’d have to fake the faint if pressed to partake.
3. Oscar Wilde
4. Elaine, The Lady of Shallot
5. Not really an errand, but I read Plato’s republic online and took copius notes.
6.”There is some boss flossin’ goin’ on at this joint.
posted by AllisonW on 8-10-2007 at 8:20 am
Thought of another for number 6.
This party would rock even without me!
A tad egotistical but still a compliment.
posted by Dusty on 8-10-2007 at 8:29 am
1. The Princess Bride
2. wheat pasta with artichickes, sundried tomatoes and clove sauce
3. Twain is a good choice, but I think Jonathan Swift and Oscar Wilde would be good too.
4. If JD from Scrubs and Ally McBeal had a love child - that would pretty much be me. . .
5. Running off to do research in Boston generally entails a Startbucks trip and a traipse through Borders.
6. Even the cheeseball couldn’t send me away.
posted by mandy mo on 8-10-2007 at 8:34 am
1. Breakfast at Tiffany’s
2. Goat cheese or lamb. They smell too much like the farm I grew up on.
3. Teddy Roosevelt
4. Jan Brady
5. Went to the mall just for a change of scenery
6. “Let’s do it again next Friday! I’ll bring the hors’d'ouvres!”
posted by Cyndi on 8-10-2007 at 8:38 am
#6) This party is Blue Beaver-iffic!
posted by Ernie on 8-10-2007 at 8:53 am
1)I
posted by Beth on 8-10-2007 at 9:02 am
2) tomatoes, they taste like and make me vomit
posted by susan on 8-10-2007 at 9:41 am
1) Jaws
2) Any live insect
3) Thomas Edison
4) Darcy from Pride & Prejudice
5) Court, but not for Jury Duty
6) This doxie has moxie!
posted by Candy on 8-10-2007 at 9:54 am
For #1 I’d choose Amelie. Then, of course everyone would know I’m a sham because when they asked me for details I’d just keep saying “Oui” over and over since it’s the only French I know. But still, one of the most original screenplays ever, and I love it!
posted by Johnny Cat on 8-10-2007 at 9:59 am
1. Snatch
2. Mincemeat Pie
3. Edgar Allen Poe
4. Elaine (from Seinfeld)
5. Snow tubing at Copper Mountain
6. Can I get your punch recipe?
posted by b.n. on 8-10-2007 at 10:02 am
1) Miller’s Crossing–the only film I haven’t EVER found a flaw in
2) My mother’s beef stroganoff: ground beef, egg noodles, and cream of mushroom sout–even as a child I would go hungry before downing even a forkful
3) Pat Garrett
4) Max Rockatansky
5) Helped paint my house
6) My wheels are spinning and I am not even muddy
posted by max on 8-10-2007 at 10:10 am
1) Rashomon, I love stories where the reader (or viewer in a movie) gets to figure it out for themselves, also, the story leaves open a pretty complex morality for you to wrestle with.
2) haggis, blood pie, blood sausage, duck blood soup… anything made of blood or of parts turned inside out and such.
4) this is too hard, I started with %s from different characters (Rob from high fidelity, Nick from Great Gatsby, Mike McDermott from rounders…) but I think think this would go on forever, and might lead to identifying with Clint Howard somehow….
5) hors devours tasting event to make sure everyone had a good time at a company function.
posted by Scott on 8-10-2007 at 10:23 am
1. Fight Club…so I suppose I wish I’d written the book.
2. Bananas. Gross.
3. I vote for Wilde!
4. Jo March, “Little Women”.
5. Water Park. Bad me.
6. I’m definitely going to use Karen’s quips whenever I can! Heehee…
posted by natlynn on 8-10-2007 at 10:46 am
I’d like to second AllisonW:
This party is boss flossin’!
posted by Anita on 8-10-2007 at 11:20 am
1) Rushmore
2) Casu marzu - better known as “maggot cheese”
3) Napoleon
4) It was Holden Caulfield - Now Will Freeman
5) Skinny Dippin at the local watering hole with a trip to the local bootlegger.
6) “I’m rehabbin baby, I’m rehabbin…”
posted by yank283 on 8-10-2007 at 11:35 am
I wrote about the others too.
#6 I guess I’ll go with “I couldn’t be having more fun, even if Jessica Simpson wiped and powered by ass.”
posted by Going Like Sixty on 8-10-2007 at 11:38 am
6. this party is gazeebo!
posted by Steph on 8-10-2007 at 11:55 am
1) The Godfather series
2) Tripe
3) Ben Franklin
4) Sherlock Holmes
5) Stopped at a party
6) “This is binary!”
posted by Seth on 8-10-2007 at 12:21 pm
1) I’d claim Vertigo for my own.
2) Ham salad. (actually have faked sickness to avoid consumption)
3) Leonhard Euler
4) Billy Pilgrim, “Slaughterhouse Five”
5) I’m at work now, so my real answer is obviously redacted. :)
6) Can I crash on your front lawn? (sorry, all I got… best sign that you’re at a great party is that people don’t want to leave, even to sleep)
posted by Leadhyena on 8-10-2007 at 12:34 pm
1) Starwars duh?
2) Chitlins
3) Casanova
4) Tue between Eyore and Charlie Brown
5) I worked QC at a factory. Every hour or two I would check the food quality by sneaking off to the kitchen and cooking some. I was only supposed to do this once or twice a day, but some days I would go 5 of 6 times.
6) Not a clue
posted by William Barden on 8-10-2007 at 12:41 pm
5) A couple of jobs ago I would go out to pick up wine for us to drink at work (our boss was not fun). Also, I would make sure to read the comics online every day before I started work.
posted by Karen on 8-10-2007 at 12:56 pm
1) Either something big and AFI-ish, like “Citizen Kane,” or that Stallone arm-wrestling picture.
2) Bugs. Yes, all of them.
3) Ole Worm or Athanasius Kircher, noted keepers of 17th-century curiosity cabinets.
4) Antoine Doinel!
5) I bought some feminine projects on the clock one time. Not particularily scandalous.
6) Anything involving the phrase “and how” would do the trick, I think.
posted by caroline on 8-10-2007 at 1:12 pm
Max,
Some flawless movies for you - Crash (Paul Haggis), A Beautiful Mind (Akiva Goldsman).
Trust me.
Oh, and I would claim both as my own.
posted by Phyllis McMurty on 8-10-2007 at 2:26 pm
1. Splendor In the Grass
2. Olives
3. Emily Dickinson. I imagine her blogs would be snarky and dripping with repressed rage.
4. Jen Lancaster (non-fic, but still…)
5. I stood in line for concert tix while allegedly at the dentist.
6. I’ve got nothing for this. It is usually quite apparent by my inebriated mess of a self whether I enjoyed a party or not. Or the fact that I arrive home in other people’s clothes. Or arrive at church the next morning only to be asked, “When did you get a tattoo???”
posted by Becky B on 8-10-2007 at 2:34 pm
1.)The Mouse that Roared (so cute)
2.) creamed peas on toast
3.)Johan Gutenburg
4.)Most characters writte by Jennifer Cruise
5.)take a nap
6.)???
posted by Lindsey on 8-10-2007 at 2:52 pm
1) The Princess Bride
2) All the gross things everyone else has mentioned, plus walnuts
3) Oscar Wilde or Abigail Adams
4) I don’t know, but I now have a crush on the following commenters based on who they said they identified with: Scott from 7:04 am, and Ed from 8:01 am
5) When I was a manager I took my team to lunch and then an “offsite meeting,” which was an afternoon movie.
6) Dang, that’s good cheese!
posted by Jenny on 8-10-2007 at 3:10 pm
1.) Tough one… Farris Bueller’s Day Off, Snatch, or Shaun of the Dead… Hm, a bit eclectic, huh?
2.) Monkey brains from the skull. Ugh, my anthropology teacher said that’s why he carries ketchup EVERYWHERE. Ew. Just thinking about it freaks me out. I’d probably try it if they were cooked and not in the head.
3.) Mark Twain. I felt like that was obvious.
4.) I love this question… But I don’t have an answer that’s good enough…
5.) Um, driving across town to buy beer (with my own money, don’t worry! and the beer across town is MUCH cheaper) when I was supposed to be heading to the bank. Just claimed there were a lot of people in line. Oops.
6.) I love this party! and this chair! and YOU! I love YOU! Oh, and the CHIPS! I LOVE THE CHIPS! (that’s how everyone can tell I’m having a good time. I love everyone/everything in the room, and NEED them to hear about it.)
posted by kaliah303 on 8-10-2007 at 3:38 pm
1. His Girl Friday or Magnolia
2. steak tartar
3. Aleister Crowley
4. Rob Gordon (High Fidelity)
5. When working as student aid in our Film School’s office I used to take my boss’s daughter to therapy, to get her meds, watch her take said meds, and then drive her back home.
6. this is worth the hangover!
posted by christi on 8-10-2007 at 3:38 pm
1.) Man Facing South East
2.) Um. Something with onions and/or mayo.
3.) Ben Johnson
4.) Michael Valentine Smith (for some reason) No wait! The guy from “Venus on the Half Shell.”
5.) (big picture it’s more important than work, but) procreative sex.
6.) Snockin’ party, man! (Or Snockin’ party, baby depending on relationship to host or hostess.)
posted by mungley on 8-10-2007 at 3:44 pm
1. The Godfather
2. Any type of animal organ
3. James Madison (Easily)
4. Gordie - “Stand by Me” (he is the main character and narrator.)
posted by Michael on 8-10-2007 at 3:46 pm
I said James Madison (Easily) for # 3 but after reading some of these responses and thinking of another myself I’m not sure who I would pick.
James Madison v. Thomas Edison
I could see Edison blogging about his invention factory and all the things he came up with.
posted by Michael on 8-10-2007 at 3:54 pm
1)The Conversation
2)Any food offered as “interesting”
3)Soujourner Truth (That lady could wing it! See “Ain’t I a Woman” for proof.)
4)Homer Simpson when he argues with his brain
5)Hiked in a state park
6)no clue
posted by Lynn on 8-10-2007 at 3:54 pm
1. “American Beauty,” “Lost in Translation”
2. I watched my Japanese teacher eat a fish eye once. I’d faint to avoid even watching that again.
3. I also vote for Wilde, though Isaac Newton would fit in well here.
4. The narrator in Margaret Atwood’s “Cat’s Eye”
5. Went to a potluck dinner. (I work evenings.) Had a glass of wine.
6. Bitchin’ bosco!
posted by sk on 8-10-2007 at 10:44 pm
Tolstoy. (even though he straddles the fin de siecle) Anti-establishment. Christian Anarchist! Philosopher. Pacifist. Intellectual. And I heard that he wrote some too.
posted by Julie on 8-11-2007 at 2:49 am
1) Network
2) Natto
3) Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (see wikipedia!)
4) Dostoevsky’s Underground Man
5) Dropping off resumes; clothes shopping
6) to snowroll; snowrolling, snowrolled, a snowroller, etc.
posted by honeybadger on 8-11-2007 at 8:39 am
1. marathon man
2. french onion tart
3. oscar wilde
4. who knows?
5. oh there’ve been a few interesting occurrances
6. god bless you murphy’s law!
posted by steve on 8-11-2007 at 12:17 pm
1: “Crash”: Although I would have to figure out how to get people to find out. I prefer for people to find out about my talents without my having to tell them.
2. anything that’s still moving
3. Issac Asimov
4. Gogol Ganguli
5. used to play Jeopardy Online in between teaching computer classes
6. got nothin
posted by Kaberi on 8-11-2007 at 4:45 pm
kaliah303…
.) I love this party! and this chair! and YOU! I love YOU! Oh, and the CHIPS! I LOVE THE CHIPS! (that’s how everyone can tell I’m having a good time. I love everyone/everything in the room, and NEED them to hear about it.)
Pure & perfect!
posted by krischicki on 8-11-2007 at 6:55 pm
Boy! These pretzels -and this party- are makin’ me thirsty!
posted by Johnny Cat on 8-11-2007 at 7:21 pm
1) Schindler’s List
2) My mom’s “oyster stew” (skim milk, a pat of butter, and a can of oysters heated to luke-warm)
3) Tesla
4) Shrek
5) Took a 2 1/2 hour lunch to drive across town to a “really cool” liquor store for some single-malt scotch. Took a colleague along; he got in trouble, my boss was out f town.
posted by Rich on 8-12-2007 at 7:41 am
1. Flight of the Fireflies
2. Barbeque Cauliflower. Ohhh, shudder.
3. Dream team of Oscar Wilde and Mark Twain.
4. Newton Pulsifer, from Good Omens, for some reason.
5. Questing for paninnis.
6. The best compliment I could give a party would be not leaving or hiding in a corner.
posted by Aemi on 8-12-2007 at 11:49 am
1. Donnie Darko
2. Insect anything….yech
3. Already been said, but Mark Twain
4. Stephanie Plum - from Janet Evanovich’s number series
5. I have a number of these, but perhaps my favorite is my bi-weekly massage. I go to work for an hour and a half, then I leave for an hour and get a “medically necessary” massage. I’ve also had office, um, relations…but I work with my husband :) I play nintendo, read books, watch movies, surf the web. Ok, I guess having a job with a lot of downtime is cool, but getting paid for it rocks!
6. ??? How about “Rockin’ my floss”
posted by frogandpig on 8-12-2007 at 1:13 pm
1) UHF
2) Straight eggs or in mayo
3) Teddy Roosevelt
4) Machiavelli
5) I don’t work yet. I’m only 15.
6)BREEEEEEAAAAADDDDD!
posted by bobwalrus5 on 8-17-2007 at 12:31 pm