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Over the many Mental moons I’ve spent blogging here, one of two things has happened: either my neighbors have gone crazy at an alarmingly rapid rate, or I’ve just begun to notice their quirks more, in a way that only having to write about something interesting every single day will do to a person. Luckily, my phone takes relatively decent pictures, so I’m usually ready when weirdness strikes. In case you’ve missed the saga, here’s a little bit of what it’s like to live in Venice, California:
Child labor laws aren’t so strict
That is, at least, according to flyers like this one found on a telephone pole down the street. Still not sure how many parents took the bait on this one, and if so whether or not they ever got their kids back. Hope so!
Even the signs can’t get along
A beleaguered Rodney King famously once pleaded with the warring people of Los Angeles, begging “Can’t we all just get along?” I think this unfortunate juxtaposition of signage I found in front of Venice high school just says it all. (The bus stop sign was part of an Oscars ad campaign.)
These sidewalks ain’t for poopin’
If you think you can just let your dog poop anywhere around here — especially on my street — you’ve got another thing coming. Like a sarcastically cheery note written in kids’ sidewalk chalk. Poop’s never looked so nice.
What’s that smell?
We never did figure this one out. The house is for sale now. Coincidence?
Long before the Simpsons movie, there was …
My neighbor’s car. In fact, my neighborhood is full of so-called “art cars” (also known as “unsellable” cars), which might just be a way for people to ensure their cars are never stolen. Toyota Camrys all look alike, but there’s only one Simpsons car.
Ok, I sympathize with the dog poop message. The people in my neighborhood must think ‘toy’ dog poop is cute and they never pick it up. It’s nice when I walk my dogs at night and end up stepping in ‘cute’ poop!
As for the neighbors with the sign on the door - are they militant vegans or something? I have heard vegans declare that bad breath and body come from eating animal flesh.
You have a very interesting neighborhood.
posted by JaneM on 8-17-2007 at 8:52 am
wow your neighborhood is bizarre.
The crap thing is repulsive! I would try to get to the bottom of that one! I would lose my mind and your pic made me hurl. The most interesting pic would be that of the sign…it is disturbing actually.
Is your neighborhood a safe one?
posted by Samantha FM Veda on 8-17-2007 at 10:20 am
At least you have SOME interaction with your neighbours. The couple on my one side work in another province and when they come home, they drive directly into their attached garage, and never go out in their yard. The blind lady on the other side doesn’t get out much. I’ve lived here for four years and have yet to speak to any of them.
And with a police office directly across, there’s not a lot of neighbourly chatter. Except that one time their window was broken by a pellet gun and I got questioned….
I’d take the Simpson’s car any day.
posted by Jennifer on 8-17-2007 at 10:48 am
That sign about the roasting animals, etc, is truly strange. Perhaps the residents had been accused of cult activity or something similar?
Dog-doo-wise, I guess it’s a mixed blessing that I live in a city that strictly enforces the “scooping” laws. The city has thoughtfully put containers of poop scooping bags (an ingenious all-in-one device) throughout the area, and police cars on patrol will often stop if they see a dog walker out and about without a bag of some sort in his or her hand. I know. I have the ticket to prove it.
posted by Jill on 8-17-2007 at 11:40 am
Does anyone happen to know if Groening still makes “Life in Hell” cartoons? After seeing the side of the car with Binky and Akbar (or is it Jeff?) it struck me that it’s been a long time since I’ve seen these characters.
posted by Leadhyena on 8-17-2007 at 12:47 pm
I think i might just have to steal that beautiful chalk drawing. I have found dog poop directly in the middle of my lawn, and i find that to be repulsive. People who own dogs should take ALL the responsibilities that come with owning it. For now on whenever i find poop on my side walk, i will run quickly for my chalk [if i still own any that is].
posted by Jeannie on 8-17-2007 at 1:17 pm
What a blessing for an aspiring film maker to live among such unique people. Do you (Ransom) ever get ideas from these unusual happenings?
I would think there would be more than one screenplay behind the “Dear Neighbors” note. I am pretty sure that I would feel a touch of Hitchcockian suspense even getting close enough to photograph the note.
posted by n2y2 on 8-17-2007 at 2:30 pm
I too live and grew up near Venice, and I can attest that most people there are different/insane. One of the stranger things I’ve come to notice is the use of surfboards as building material. I also personally thing the crazies are starting to feel threatened by the skyrocketing land value, and thus influx of celebrities into the area, so they’re getting extra nuts. Just my thought.
posted by Michael on 8-17-2007 at 4:10 pm
At least your neighbors have a sense of humor. I live between the eternally clueless, who have a toy poodle that NEVER stops yapping. Of course, he is also not housebroken, despite being several years old. It’s like, they’ve tried nothing, and it hasn’t worked. On the other side is the white-trash/ perv, who when he isn’t stockpiling junk car parts and household trash in his garage, likes to walk around the house in nothing but his dead grandmother’s bra and panties.
posted by Maggie on 8-17-2007 at 5:41 pm
>
On the other hand, it’s not like his grandma needs her undergarments anymore….
posted by Kara on 8-17-2007 at 8:07 pm
That “Hey Kids” sign is probably for selling magazines or newspaper subscriptions.
You didn’t mention–do you live near the gang-infested part of Venice?
posted by Barbara on 8-17-2007 at 9:51 pm
Thanks for your concern everybody, but yes, my neighborhood is safe! I live(d) on a nice walking-only street where most of the people on the block had lived there for 20 years or more, only to see their once-humble little houses become insanely valuable …
The “gang-infested” part of Venice you refer to, Barbara, has a fascinating, if troubled, history all its own — the Oakwood neighborhood, as it’s known, used to be a segregated part of Venice; back when founder Abbot Kinney was implementing his grand utopian vision of Venice as a “Coney Island of the West,” Oakwood was where the “servants” lived, about a mile from the beach. No surprise to anyone, it’s stayed pretty segregated in the interceding 100 years, and was one of the most violent spots in LA through the 90s. That’s changing — law enforcement stepped up their activity, and house prices went through the roof, such that now the neighborhood is, if not quite gentrifying, at least becoming mixed. A local writer once described it as “a hive of evil” surrounded by some of the most expensive real estate in the nation. Yikes.
posted by Ransom on 8-18-2007 at 8:36 am
I think you deliberately go looking for other things that cause you grief about your neighbours. You shouldn’t focus only on the bad stuff, focus on the good things about your neighbours!! When you walk outside in the morning, say to them, “Good morning!” and see what kind of reaction you get. If you get a rifle pointed at you, duck (or move)! If you get a wave and a smile back, you’re likely doing a good thing.
If I can use an analogy about this situation, it’s like going to Disneyland and focusing only on the way some guests treat their kids (far too often you see parents yelling at their kids on Main Street - years from then the kid is going to remember how badly his parents treated him at Disneyland, or the paint on the buildings is chipping, etc.), not on how wonderful the parks and attractions are.
So instead of complaining, enjoy life, and having your neighbours around. It’s too short to dwell on other people’s shortcomings! If anything, they make living there more interesting!
posted by Dan on 8-21-2007 at 5:38 pm
Hey Dan,
Don’t get me wrong, there’s plenty I love about my neighborhood, and by extension my neighbors. But pretty flowers and friendly smiles don’t make very interesting blogs!
posted by Ransom on 8-21-2007 at 6:21 pm
I miss Venice… you make me want to drive over there (maybe even live there?)
posted by Allyson on 12-24-2007 at 3:46 pm
How did you get your job writing about inanities? Any openings? Any special qualifications? Or do you just “know somebody”? Just wondering…
posted by Richard on 12-24-2007 at 8:05 pm
Deja vu, repeat.
But that ad looks like something I grew up seeing in comix called GRIT, where kids sell newspapers or something to earn cash and prizes.
posted by Johnny Cat on 12-25-2007 at 10:07 pm