mental_floss magazine
SUBSCRIBE >
GIFT SUBSCRIPTIONS >
DIGITAL SUBSCRIPTIONS >
subscriber services >
There’s really nothing like a humiliating incident that has oxidized into a funny story. I learned this early on from my father, whose timing and delivery is largely influenced by mid-80s John Candy. During car trips or any other kind of captive audience scenario, we’d beg him to burst into a rendition of “the King Midget story.”
The short version is that his father had a brief infatuation with this very special kind of vehicle (the King Midget!), and mortified his children by insisting on driving them to school in the thing (you can see why Uncle Buck was a healing movie for my father). Of course, upon seeing actual pictures of the car, my sister and I were obsessed with somehow recreating this moment. We had to be driven to school in a King Midget! This was a car that came in a kit! You could assemble it in your garage just like a Big Wheel!
Unfortunately, Midget Motor Corporation stopped making them in 1970, so we never got our wish; however, The International King Midget Car Club, Inc. keeps the dream alive, offering–could it be true?–vendors who will still peddle Midgets: “King Midgets bought, sold, restored. No King Midget too rusty!!” and urging members to: “Relive the Memories.” First of all: anyone who has a King Midget experience, please share. Secondly: were any of you embarrassed to be driven to school in something your parents drove?
Comments (26)
Comment
- Follow mental_floss
He never drove it, but my dad had a 1971 Cadillac hearse parked in our driveway for about five years. Every time I gave directions to my house, they would end with “OHHHHHH, the one with the hearse out front?”
Sigh. Yes, THAT house.
posted by Rachel on 8-22-2007 at 2:08 pm
my dad drove me to preschool in an olive green Pinto that the neighborhood called “the junkmobile.” i was too young to be really embarrassed, but looking back on it i am HORRIFIED that my father would tote around his first-born child in that deathtrap…
posted by mri on 8-22-2007 at 2:17 pm
Already mentioned in the nerd thread:
My parents bought a decommissioned short bus. It started life as a 1 ton Chrysler van, But the school district added a bright yellow finish with the black metal strip down the side. It had 5 rows of seats (large family). On the weekends, it was the family car. During the week, I drove it to High-School.
Somehow my friends never wanted to bum a ride from me. My parents never understood why I would get up two hours early so that I could jog to school (I told them it was training) Sure I smelled horrible when I got there, but that is not as bad as driving the short-bus to school.
posted by n2y2 on 8-22-2007 at 2:18 pm
I was embarassed as all getout when my dad used to drive me to my middle school in his bright orange 1970 VW Bug. My friends would make fun of it, how loud it was, how “hippie” it was… all quite ironic considering, years later, I fell in love with the car and drive myself to school in it. I’ve now had two, and my current one is in awesome shape (except for a bad engine, not too important or anything). I’m dying to get a new engine, so I can continue driving it and take my kids to school in it one day. Mortification is no fun unless you can pass it on through the generations.
posted by Molly on 8-22-2007 at 2:21 pm
Ok; I’m one of those dads that mercilessly doled out embarrassment on my kids. When my daughter was in kindergarten and 1st grade, my daily driver was a 1971 Datsun pickup. The problem with it was the paint scheme; some body panels were red and some were blue, and it had a white Toyota box on the back (long story on that one). It looked like it belonged in the junkyard, but I was able to keep it running (oh the stories that brings to mind!) to get me to work & back. I was fresh out of college & we didn’t have the money for anything nicer.
The kids thought that pickup was the coolest thing in the world, at least until daughter started school and got teased about being dropped off in that junky pickup. Then she still wanted to ride in it, but just didn’t want to be seen in it. Now she’s almost 20 and has mostly good memories of it.
posted by Dave on 8-22-2007 at 2:43 pm
I did some digging on that site, and would love to have something like that King Midget. I always feel a tad guilty about using a car that weighs many times my weight just to get me to work & back. Anybody else see a market for a microcar in the US?
posted by Dave on 8-22-2007 at 2:46 pm
I lusted after a King Midget every time the new Popular Science magazine arrived and I’d see their little ads in the back.
I didn’t know there was ever a boat tail version as in the picture. I thought they were all the boxy ones.
@Dave: Chrysler and Penske is betting there is a market for a micro-car called the Smart. They have a $99 down payment from thousands of buyers already.
posted by GoingLikeSixty on 8-22-2007 at 3:26 pm
My dad’s 69 volkswagen bus’s engine ignited in pouring rain in the parking lot outside the church where I was about to be baptized. And I was three- old enough to remember, too young to be embarassed.
I now have an unbridled love of buses, and old volkswagens in general
posted by ac on 8-22-2007 at 4:25 pm
In the early 60’s when I was a tyke in north Georgia, the ice cream man in my neighborhood drove a King Mini Model III that pulled his ice cream cooler around like a trailer. Whenever I see a King Mini I taste Orange Dreamsicle. Mmmmm, orangy.
posted by Billy on 8-22-2007 at 6:56 pm
When I was in high school, my dad had two vehicles – a motorcycle and a car that would always break down. So on the nice days, I got picked up on the motor cycle which was cool. However, when the car broke down and it was bad weather, my dad would have to pick me up in our motor home. Sooo embarassing!
posted by Jill on 8-22-2007 at 8:53 pm
It was a first day tradition for my dad to take me to school on his ‘76 Harley. 1st grade was particularly interesting, because I had the worst black eye ever. I went to school decked out in my little blue sundress, shiner, and antique harley, complete with bandana-wearing-bearded father…nobody picked on me that year, lemme tell ya…
posted by hana on 8-23-2007 at 12:06 am
From the time I was born until my freshman year in High School my dad had a 1980 Volkswagon Jetta… diesel. You could hear the thing coming a mile away and I hated it. You half expected some large truck to come around the bend, but instead all you saw was this tiny little car with the overly loud diesel engine. I would wait at school to be picked up and the kids would all turn at look at me as it approached. I look back now and I want it… it was one rugged beast of a car (220,000 miles when we sold it) and I guess the painful memory of getting picked up everyday in it has since dissipated.
posted by Steven on 8-23-2007 at 6:14 am
My father was in the Air Force and the family was stationed in England for 5 years during the ’70’s. While we were there, he bought and drove a 1956 Silver Cloud Rolls Royce. When we returned to the states he brought it back and still drove it. On bad weather days I would be dropped off in front of the school in it. As it was a British vehicle, it had right hand steering, so when we pulled up to the school everyone thought I was driving. In retrospect it was kind of cool, but at the time it just brought too much attention to a shy kid.
posted by Bill on 8-23-2007 at 6:43 am
As I was driving my friend and I to high school one morning, we pulled up behind a motor home, and were a little creeped out by the person making some sort of sign language to us in the back window.
At school, we found out it was my friend’s cousin, whose father had for some reason foregone with the usually nice mustang he drove and was taking him to school in the old junker of a motor home. His signals had been him begging us for the mercy of allowing him to jump into our car and avoid the shame.
posted by cousin on 8-23-2007 at 10:11 am
In the 1970’s my dad had a brown pinto.
We were living in Houston, Texas. Dad was the only one that ever drove the pinto my mom had her own larger car. One day dad took the passenger seat out of the car so he could transport a push mower. He decided since it was only him that ever drove the car he would just leave the seat out. Ofcourse right after that mom got a job teaching in a school fairly far away, so would you know it dad would have to take us to school. I can still remember me and my two sisters racing to the car since if you were the last one inside you had to sit on the passenger seat floor. We begged dad to let us walk, we begged dad to not pull right up to the front door of the school where all the kids were hanging out. He would pull up to the front door everytime. I can still remember opening the passenger door from the floor of the car and seeing those kids faces. We complained about this curb service so much that dad said he would fix it. He put a fold up lawn chair in the passenger seat spot. Yep and you thought it couldn’t get worse. Try getting out of a lawn chair that’s sitting inside a car and it has arm rests on it, now try doing this fast so the other kids don’t see you. Now image your dad yelling at you to come back as you quickly walk away to distance yourself from those people in that pinto. And last of all image having to walk back with your head hanging down, so you could fold up the lawn chair and pull it out of the car so your sisters could get out of the backseat.
In less than a week we took that lawn chair to a local wooded lot and disposed of it.
John
posted by John on 8-23-2007 at 10:24 am
GoingLikeSixty- The King Midget shown in the pic is one of the real early ones. They soon started looking like little jeeps, which is what most of us remember from Popular Mechanics ads.
A modern micro cars would be great, but remember a few things:
1. People have to buy them. A lot of folks won’t ultimately give up all the luxuries they are used to.
2. The pesky Federal government currently wouldn’t permit it because onerous safety regulations require modern cars to be expensive, heavy, mini-tanks. Bicycles and motorcycle and scooters don’t have to be indestructible, but cars do somehow. That’s why even small cars of today weigh over 2 tons and are packed full of high cost airbags. Micro cars would really require the creation of a relaxed set of standards. The smart (lower case… ugh) car mentioned has gotten a lot bigger as it headed for the US market. The originals out in Europe in the late 90s were much cooler. They’ve bloated considerably (but not as much as the MINI — compare those to a real Mini).
Straight talk from Sid.
posted by Sid Morrison on 8-23-2007 at 11:20 am
My friend lived in Germany & had a smart car – her mpg was RIDICULOUS, something like 60mpg (when converted from metric!) – sure, she payed a lot of Euro per Litre, but a) the mileage was amazing & b) she didn’t have to drive so much considering how accesible Munich’s public transportation is
posted by sd on 8-23-2007 at 11:35 am
Ohhhhh… the smart car! I love those things and if I didn’t live in New Jersey, where I fear for my life every time I hit the road, I would seriously consider getting one. I could park it anywhere! It would fit in my pocket!
Those things were all over London when we went in 2001 and I have coveted one ever since.
posted by Rachel on 8-23-2007 at 11:48 am
The Smart cars are nice, but complex and pricey. What I’d love to see is something like the King Midget that you order in kit form, put together in your garage, and license as a motorcycle. These days you see four-wheelers buzzing all over the place, licensed as motorcycles; what – other than federal bureaucracy — stops manufacturers from creating something like that that also provides some protection from the elements?
I know; I’m dreaming.
posted by Dave on 8-23-2007 at 1:59 pm
Dave – Where are you located? A friend and I were just talking about how many 4-wheelers he saw on the road on a recent tripto Luxembourg and how it’s funny you don’t see that here in NY State. He’s a big time motorcyclist, dirt-biker, 4-wheeler himself, so I’m pretty sure he’d know if it was legal around here. Is it legal in part of the U.S.? Or are you elsewhere?
posted by Sid Morrison on 8-23-2007 at 3:16 pm
1) Minicars are legal and licensed in European countries, but not as cars – they’re considered 4-wheel motorcycles. US import regulations do not permit them as they do not conform to crash tests as automobiles. Short-sighted to be sure. They would be perfect for crowded urban streets. I can provide web info to those who are interested.
2) I had several minicars as a young man. First one was a ‘59 Rambler Metropolitan. Ugly little beast built on the Austin A40 frame and engine – seriously underpowered. Got tired of kids on bicycles beating me off the light and put a 283 chevy V8 and PowerGlide tranny in it, then beefed the suspension and frame so it wouldn’t twist itself in half when I put my foot in it. There are still legends in Tucson about “The Grasshopper” that would jump off the ground under acceleration.
2nd Mini was a MiniCooper S. The real thing with 10″ tires. Austin Healy 873 cc engine and would do over 100 mph. The new minis only vaguely look like the originals, and for some reason they’ve put 18″ tires on them. Dunno why – guess it’s so the folks with more money than sense can put spinner rims on them.
posted by Doc on 8-24-2007 at 7:34 am
I was ten when my father decided to undertake a project that would haunt my dreams for years to come. He thought he would save some money by converting the family Pinto into a pick-up truck. He was so proud of the monstrosity he had created, all the while ignoring the fact that he was permanently scarring his two kids. My brother received the worst ridicule as he was fourteen at the time. Don’t get me started on the bicycle he converted into a “laydown” using a lawnchair!
posted by Kyle on 8-24-2007 at 10:31 am
Two of my daughters were in high school (the prime age for groans of “oh, MOM!”),and one in middle school, when I acquired Zippy – named after Dave Barry’s “emergency backup dog”. Easy on gas, would start on the coldest mornings, and ugly as homemade sin. It was a blue-and-rust (REAL rust) Datsun, with the bottoms of the doors kind of flaking off at every bump in the road…that car ran without fail for YEARS, and I can tell you that I had at least two dughters who never tried to cajole me into frivolous trips here and there – it was essentials only, with a teen in the front seat slumped down so far she was sitting on the middle of her spine.When Zippy finally died of an incurable timing error, I was heartbroken, but they were less than sympathetic….
posted by MJ on 8-24-2007 at 5:34 pm
Sid: I’m in South Dakota. Not sure if the licensing laws are more lenient here than elsewhere allowing for the four wheelers on the road or what. All I know is that they are all over the place.
Doc: Love the thought of a Metropolitan Grasshopper with a V8 making it jump. Too cool!
posted by Dave on 8-26-2007 at 9:16 pm
I was slightly embarrassed when my mom would drive me to junior high in her ‘74 Dodge Dart Swinger, our only car. For some odd reason, when it became my car it became The Greatest Car There Ever Was And Ever Will Be! A two-tone color scheme, brown and gray. The gray was duct tape over the rust holes (good enough to pass inspection). The brown was supposedly “Iridescent Dark Gold” but only if the car was freshly washed & waxed did it show any “iridescence”.
posted by Tdave on 8-27-2007 at 1:00 am
I always wanted a midget, never got one. In high school my dad had a ‘51 Chevy pickup. It was painted barn red on the bottom, pink on the top, had a green racing stripe too. It was stenciled: Dolph’s Summit Inn, Beer, Wine, and Whisky. My mother wouldn’t let me drive her to school in it (she was a teacher). I never did figure out why the input manifold had a brass water faucet brazed on it!
posted by Jack Atherton on 10-13-2009 at 6:00 pm