Cole Gamble
7 Hollywood Ripoffs With Titles (and Posters, and Plots) You Won’t Believe
by Cole Gamble - December 16, 2010 - 11:53 AM

The correct term is mockbuster (or knockbuster): a micro-budgeted, straight-to-DVD, B-movie that piggy-backs on the massive publicity of a phenomenally bigger movie. The formula is simple: look at what blockbuster movies are planned for next year, then knock out something vaguely similar in a week and a half and slap on an almost identical—but just different enough to not get sued—title. Here are some of our favorites.

1. Snakes on a Train

Most notable star: A.J. Castro (Played “Casino Waiter” on an episode of Days of Our Lives)

How does it compare to the original? Well, clearly we won’t get Sam Jackson on an Amtrak professing how tired he is of these “monkey fighting” serpents on this “Monday to Friday”* commuter. So lower your expectations accordingly.

Besides that, what’s different? Pretty much everything. Here’s how the screenwriter described the plot: A woman has been put under a Mayan curse which causes snake eggs to hatch inside of her and eat their way out. In order to recover the lost pieces of herself, the snakes, she must take a train to Los Angeles where a powerful Mayan shaman can lift the curse, taking the snakes along with her in small jars. When she gets on the train, bandits accost her and the snakes escape, leaving the rest of the people on the train to deal with them.

So, you see…wait wha-???

In a perfect example of how marketing trumps artistic integrity at mockbuster factory The Asylum, the producer asked the special effects guy to change the ending of the film to match the artwork on the DVD box, which inexplicably features an aircraft carrier-sized snake consuming the eponymous train. So, near the end, we see the cursed woman leap off the train only to transform into a giant snake and gobble up the train. Fin. It’s a finale so perplexingly inscrutable as to make David Lynch cry.

* Those are the actually dubbed lines used for Samuel L. Jackson’s famous quote in the safe-for-basic-cable version of Snakes on a Plane.

2. AVH: Alien Vs. Hunter

Most notable star: William Katt (Greatest American Hero)

How does it compare to the original? If you think AVH just shamelessly copies Alien Vs. Predator, you’re sadly mistaken. There is no Predator in AVH (because that’s a licensed property), but rather an interstellar “hunter.” Big difference. Okay, so the poster looks like some graphic designer simply took the Alien Vs. Predator poster and slapped “hunter” over Predator and called it a day, which is pretty much the case. But then you see the trailer:

See, the Aliens, who on the poster so closely resemble the Aliens in the Hollywood franchise, are nowhere to be found. Instead we get giant spiders. Also, can the Alien Vs. Predator films boast William Katt’s glorious moustache? No, no they can’t.

3. The DaVinci Treasure

Most notable stars: C. Thomas Howell, Lance Henrikson

How does it compare to the original? To say The DaVinci Treasure blatantly rips off The DaVinci Code is like saying last night’s WWE match might have been rigged. C. Thomas Howell is a forensic anthropologist, which to the Asylum’s credit, sounds less made up than Tom Hanks’ “symbologist.” Howell decodes clues found in Leonardo DaVinci’s work that might just lead to “the world’s greatest treasure.” Of course, mysterious agents encounter Howell, seeking to stop the treasure seeker dead in his tracks (literally). We even get all the requisite European locals, car chases, gun play, inexplicable explosions and just that right amount of National Treasure tossed in.

4. Transmorphers: Fall of Man

Most notable star: Bruce Boxleitner (Scarecrow and Mrs. King. And, okay, Tron.), Shane Van Dyke (grand nephew to Jerry Van Dyke and an Asylum veteran)

How does it compare to the original? As a rip off of the Transformers sequel, The Asylum zig when you think they’ll zag and make their mockbuster follow-up a prequel. Brilliant! Nonetheless, the main distinction between the Asylum version and the Hollywood version is Michael Bay’s robots transform, whereas The Asylum’s robots “transmorph.” Reminds me of the Transformers/Go-Bots toy wars of the 1980s, and we all remember how that turned out: total global nuclear annihilation.

Fortunately, The Asylum is savvy enough not to rip off Transformers wholesale. Instead, the plot of Transmorphers: FOM rips off the Terminator franchise entirely, centering on a man vs. machine apocalyptic showdown. It should be noted The Asylum also rips off Terminator in another, more legitimate knock-off, The Terminators. So it’s like a rip-off within a rip-off within a rip off. Right now some kid is writing his film school dissertation solely on that last sentence.

Interesting Note: For an Asylum film, Transmorphers: FOM’s SFX are impressively passable. Considering the film cost only $300,000 to make, it would only require a 3 million dollar return to make the movie 1,000% profitable. Michael Bay’s flick needed to make 2 billion dollars to match that kind of return on investment.
* * * * *
For all its versatility, one thing The Asylum doesn’t have in its bag of tricks is CG family entertainment. What’s one to do when you want to sit down with the kids to a Pixar or DreamWorks flick but without all that irritating quality and more Portuguese?

Thank goodness there’s Video Brinquedo, the Brazilian animation studio behind such great Portuguese-language family fare as That One Movie that Looks Vaguely like Kung Fu Panda. You may know Video Brinquedo from such hits as:

5. What’s Up: Balloon to the Rescue

How does it compare to the original? What’s Up is about an old man who travels around in a house held aloft by a balloon. Stop right there. Before you say, “Yeah, sounds exactly like Up,” just wait. This old man, Dr. Crumb, is the leader of a monster busting crew that travels the world…well, “monster busting crew” kind of explains itself. Also, Dr. Crumb possesses an incredibly powerful hypno-rock that could hypnotize the entire population of the earth just with the password “lavender,” something he never forgets to mention in TV interviews. So are Dr. Crumb and his team a group of super villains? Nope, they just have a world-enslaving power object and don’t hesitate to let anyone know it.

So why do we need a balloon house again?

What happens next involves a tea-hating, drunk Frenchman, travels across the globe and Dr. Crumb’s assistant, Guto, having an adverse reaction to hypnotization and pooping his pants. Really, the entire film can be summed up in this bit of dialog:

Guto: I don’t want that Chinese guy in there with my monsters. He didn’t even say anything when i showed him the cookie.
Dr. Crumb: Did you try showing him a fortune cookie? That would work.

6. Ratatoing

How does it compare to the original? Hey, Pixar’s movie about a culinary rat was called Ratatouille, this one is called Ratatoing. How much originality do you want? The subtlety of Vídeo Brinquedo make of The Asylum’s rip-offs look like The Thomas Crown Affair.

Or, as one critic said, “if you ate a copy of the worst cartoon you could think of, you’d still probably crap something better than Ratatoing.” Which brings the question: what sadistic publication makes their reviewers watch this?

7. The Little Panda Fighter

How does it compare to the original? Take Kung Fu Panda, render it in MS Paint, then take the MS Paint version and render it on an Etch-a-Sketch. We’re not done yet. Put that Etch-a-Sketch version back into MS Paint and color it using the paint bucket tool and…jeez, that still looks way too good. Any way we can do this all on a Commodore 64?

The Little Panda Fighter is about a world inhabited by bears that all look like someone punched a jar of Play-Doh in the face. One particularly perverse panda spends an unsettling amount of time in his dank basement, but instead of begging others to put the lotion on the skin, this panda dreams of becoming a ballerina. Unfortunately, he is forced to become a kick boxer (typical panda struggle). Will he find a way to bring these two worlds together? The movie probably cares less than you do. Also, the panda falls down a lot. Because he’s fat. Comedy!

shirts-555.jpg

« Previous Post   -   Next Post »
Click here to get a Risk-Free issue of mental_floss magazine
Comments (76)

  1. Oh geez. why do they do this? do they even make any money from it? any of these would be better than beast of yucca flats- which is baically a hulk rip-off.

    posted by Yerk on 12-16-2010 at 12:18 pm

  2. wasn’t the a straight rip off of Disney’s Beauty and the Beast? It was made almost frame for frame from the originial. I feel like it came from Asia somewhere….they were never able to locate the company that made it to sue them.

    posted by Kristina on 12-16-2010 at 12:35 pm

  3. This is a great article.

    posted by Joel on 12-16-2010 at 12:40 pm

  4. Cole, your descriptions of the film are comic genius.

    posted by Katie Rose on 12-16-2010 at 12:50 pm

  5. They do make money off of it. You see what happens is your 70 year old grandmother who was told the kids would love “That Up movie with the balloon house” goes and buys the knock-off on accident.

    It’s sick, and really frustrating to DVD salespeople who are trying to get their customers the real thing, but have to shelf the knock-off anyway.

    posted by Chanel on 12-16-2010 at 12:50 pm

  6. Here’s how Cole explained the phenomenon when he pitched this story:

    You huddle around the Christmas tree as your loving but interminably confused grandma hands you a gift. Already the edges of your mouth twitch in preparation for the big fake smile you’ll sport once you open grandma’s gift. After all, it’s a “grandma gift.” Get a leopard spotted, glow-in-the-dark Snuggie and count yourself lucky. But wait, what’s this? She got you a DVD of Transformers: Rise of the Fallen? Not your favorite movie, but in terms of Grandma Gifts, it’s the Holy Grail. Then your eye glances over the box again; this isn’t Transformers, it’s Transmorphers. “I remembered you always loved those Transmorphers,” grandma says. You and grandma have just been duped by The Asylum.

    posted by Jason English on 12-16-2010 at 12:54 pm

  7. I don’t know, they all sound better than some of the sequels that have been made.

    posted by DaveP on 12-16-2010 at 12:54 pm

  8. This was the funniest article I’ve ever read on mental_floss, hands down.

    posted by Josh on 12-16-2010 at 1:03 pm

  9. Probably not even worth bringing up, but you could say Shane Van Dyke is Dick Van Dyke’s grandson, just sounds better than grand-nephew of Jerry Van Dyke.
    Or maybe that was the point.

    posted by Nerak on 12-16-2010 at 1:05 pm

  10. My all time favorite dubbing for cable:

    John Goodman in The Big Lebowski, smashing the sports car, ranting “Do you see what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps!?!”

    posted by Nate on 12-16-2010 at 1:20 pm

  11. How meta! This article is a rip-off of several articles previously posted on Cracked.com, only not as entertaining!

    posted by Craig on 12-16-2010 at 1:36 pm

  12. I’ve suddenly got a few great ideas for TV series—Womanomal, Remington Iron, Acquaintances, Dr. What, American Idle…

    posted by Wayne on 12-16-2010 at 1:37 pm

  13. ‘Grand-nephew of Jerry Van Dyke” is way, way funnier than “Dick Van Dyke’s grandson.”

    posted by Ego Nemo on 12-16-2010 at 1:38 pm

  14. I CAN’T believe you just ruined the ending of Snakes on a Train for me. ;)

    posted by BorgQueen on 12-16-2010 at 1:40 pm

  15. Who was you favored Doctor What?

    I can decide between Jim Pertway or Tom Breadmaker.

    posted by Ego Nemo on 12-16-2010 at 1:41 pm

  16. These flicks are what “Redbox” was made for. The quality of Redbox kids movies in particular is just astonishingly bad.
    Thanks for the article, VERY funny read! :)

    posted by Sadie on 12-16-2010 at 1:44 pm

  17. You forgot that not only is AVH: Alien Vs. Hunter a knockoff of a real movie. It stars a non famous sister aka knockoff of a real star – DeDee Pfeiffer sister of Michelle Pfeiffer

    posted by Gus on 12-16-2010 at 1:45 pm

  18. @Jason,

    O man I loved that pitch.. How COULD you have said no to Cole?!

    posted by chrystani on 12-16-2010 at 2:03 pm

  19. Bcuz snakes ona PLANE wasn’t bad enuf

    posted by gtoya on 12-16-2010 at 2:19 pm

  20. and don’t get me started on ANY movie with “rat” anywhere in the title

    posted by gtoya on 12-16-2010 at 2:22 pm

  21. Hahaha – Jason, I just laughed my ass off with the grandma scenario. I wish I could be a Santa ornament on the tree of the thousands of households where this will be playing out this year.

    I have seen several of these show up on the Netflix instant watch feature, but have never taken the dive and watched one. I may have to now. I had been very curious about “Paranormal Entity” in the past when I saw it listed on Netflix, and was pleased to find it was another product of The Asylum. Great article, Cole.

    posted by Chris on 12-16-2010 at 2:42 pm

  22. The description of, “What’s Up?” had me giggling…

    posted by Helenann on 12-16-2010 at 2:52 pm

  23. My favorite dubbed for TV editing must be from Scarface, and there are plenty. The most absurd: “So how’d you get the beauty scar, tough guy? Eating pineapple?” “How’m I gonna get a scar like that eating pineapple?”

    posted by Dave on 12-16-2010 at 2:55 pm

  24. Thransmorphers was the only one I had heard of before. I think the name is pretty clever actually. I mean, you just switch two sounds and it still means pretty much the same.

    Also Wikipedia article about the Asylum mentions “Sunday School Musical”. That’s just ridiculous.

    posted by foreigner on 12-16-2010 at 2:59 pm

  25. you missed the best one! They have a new movie called 6 Guns that looks like a Jonah Hex/True Grit mash-up. In other words, its perfect.

    posted by Andrewski on 12-16-2010 at 3:16 pm

  26. and THEN I go to their homesite and see their latest thriller: Megolodon Vs. Crocosaurus featuring the official nail in the coffin of Jamel White’s acting career. Oh, urcle, how the mighty have fallen!

    posted by Andrewski on 12-16-2010 at 3:19 pm

  27. Talk about a great idea…or not. I can’t believe that people actually do stuff like that. Wait…yes I can…being a working member of the music industry myself, I see rip offs all the time!!! What happened to originality? BTW…I loved this article!!!

    posted by Knate on 12-16-2010 at 3:44 pm

  28. LOL!!!! I especially love what you wrote about that last one. Hysterical!

    posted by Christine on 12-16-2010 at 3:47 pm

  29. @Chris,
    You should definitely watch Paranormal Entity. Asylum must have exploited a glitch in the matrix when they created that one, because it’s actually kinda good. The dialog sucks, but it’s a scary movie, possibly scarier than the original.

    posted by Jess on 12-16-2010 at 6:38 pm

  30. asylum pictures is a joke. wonder if they’d exist if blockbuster didn’t order 10000 of their crappy films regardless of interest.

    posted by dlux on 12-16-2010 at 7:09 pm

  31. Your forgot to add Paranormal Entity to your list, its a dumb ripoff of Paranormal Activity.

    posted by BunnyBoy on 12-16-2010 at 7:12 pm

  32. @ Craig – I was thinking the whole time I was reading the article, “Man, this really feels like something I would read on Cracked. But only WAY better”.

    So, good job Cole :) I really enjoyed the article!

    posted by KimberlyJ on 12-16-2010 at 8:16 pm

  33. wow…these all look like they’re an extra special kind of awful…I’m also really glad to see that I’m not the only one who thought that ‘symbologist’ was a completely idiotic job title. According to Dictionary.com, it’s not even really a word. Way to phone it in, Dan Brown…the rest of the Da Vinci code was terrible enough, one would think that he could have at least given his main character one teensy-weensy little ounce of academic respectability, but I guess that’s asking too much from a hack writer like Brown.
    You want a real (and by ‘real’, I mean ‘good’) archaeological thriller? Read James Rollins. The man is brilliant.
    So, now that I’ve gone almost entirely off topic, I’ll come down off of my book-worm soapbox. :P

    posted by sammylee on 12-16-2010 at 10:09 pm

  34. my favorite dubbing for tv editing:

    Kill Bill: Vol. I

    “My name is Buck. And I like to PARTY.”

    posted by janson on 12-16-2010 at 11:44 pm

  35. @ Janson:
    omg I completely forgot about that! HILARIOUS!

    posted by sammylee on 12-17-2010 at 12:41 am

  36. Considering how awful Snakes on a Plane looked, I thought nothing ill of the rumour that Snakes on a Train was the sequel.

    posted by Bakedpotatoes on 12-17-2010 at 1:40 am

  37. @ Janson: Seriously? What were they bothering to show it for if they had to censor Buck’s lovely pastime?

    Never mind the tomato-sauce fest that was the crazy 88, we can’t have people saying swear words!

    posted by Bakedpotatoes on 12-17-2010 at 1:41 am

  38. I remember one from back to the future, “Slug in a ditch”

    posted by Car1EF on 12-17-2010 at 1:47 am

  39. I’m almost beside myself looking at you guys blasting these poor ripoffs when the American Public is unable to watch foreign films, even in English, without having to remake them.

    The wonderfully fun french Taxi movies turned into Queen Latifahs plaything was mindboggling. Stieg Larssons trilogy needing to be americanized.

    The British Death at a Funeral made into an American Death at a Funeral.

    I can’t remember an original movie that was then americanized without being a poor MS Paint quality ripoff.

    posted by JBJ on 12-17-2010 at 7:49 am

  40. JBJ, you realize that those movies you’ve mentioned haven’t done very well either, right? Those movies are the fault of people trying to make a quick buck, not the American Public.

    posted by Heather on 12-17-2010 at 9:07 am

  41. My neighbor sarah was in transmorphers, and a bunch of other asylum movies. finally they told her they wouldn’t hire her anymore if she didn’t start taking off her clothes in their movies. classy folks!

    posted by Ransom Riggs on 12-17-2010 at 10:07 am

  42. @ JBJ: The original Death at a Funeral was brilliant, I’m American & I don’t know a single person who has seen the remake. Foreign movies may not be wildly popular here, but we do alright for ourselves just the same.

    posted by sammylee on 12-17-2010 at 10:14 am

  43. I sometimes like getting these knock offs as they are so funny. My friends and I used to have a bad movie party. The best part was putting a tape recorder on our voices and watching the movies again like Mystery Science 3000.

    It was a lot of fun.

    posted by MetalRose on 12-17-2010 at 10:39 am

  44. Does anyone remember a rip-off of StarWars that was made in Japan.

    Yes, I am sure there are many in lots of countries, but this one had all the characters right down to a wookie.

    I searched a while back and couldn’t find anything, and wondered if someone else might have info.

    posted by Morris on 12-17-2010 at 11:17 am

  45. You mentioned that the Asylum doesn’t do animated films (yes, it was a segue, but I wanted to share this). Astonishingly, they also don’t do superhero knockoffs; even people who worked at the Asylum don’t know why. Other people have tried, and yes, they’re as sad as you’d expect. (My name links to an article on two of them, “Metal Man” and “The Black Knight Returns.”)

    posted by Sillstaw on 12-17-2010 at 12:46 pm

  46. JBJ My friends and I all worked at video stores and in movie theatres, it kind of amuses us when american cinema remakes the foreign originals, we only saw the trailer for the US Death at a Funeral and we had NO wish to see it, we just shouted out ‘Hey, we’ve seen that already!’ and changed the channel. But I agree with Heather, it’s the the american publics fault. Anyway, great article, sadly I’ve had this conversation with people I worked with because we had o stock these crappy movies. But, you’ll be happy to know we didn’t try stocking them very hard! In fact we always second guessed the customers when they picked one of these up, usually they were grateful.

    posted by Dino on 12-17-2010 at 1:58 pm

  47. Last night, at the dollar store with my wife, I happened across Snakes on a Train! She didn’t understand my excitement at all. I should have taken it as a sign that I read about it and find it’s physical manifestation on the same day, but $10 at a dollar store is pretty steep.

    posted by kraznor on 12-17-2010 at 1:59 pm

  48. @Craig, Hi I wrote this article. Before I came to Mental Floss I wrote (and still write) for Cracked. Perhaps that’s why you noticed a similar tone. Sorry you weren’t entertained; I’ll try harder next time (I probably won’t try harder next time).

    posted by Cole on 12-17-2010 at 8:06 pm

  49. @Heather: They did brilliantly outside the US.

    posted by Bakedpotatoes on 12-18-2010 at 2:15 am

  50. @ RansomRiggs, my friend was in The Room and I met Tommy Wiseau (pic to prove it). Top that, sucka. (am I too new to the staff to call other staff members “sucka”?)

    posted by Cole on 12-18-2010 at 2:27 am

  51. @Cole: Depends what he’s a sucker of, I suppose :)

    posted by Bakedpotatoes on 12-18-2010 at 3:23 am

  52. @Andrewski I’m not sure if you were intending to make a parody of the actor and character he played, but the actor Jaleel White played Steve UrKle on Family Matters.

    posted by Nichole on 12-19-2010 at 12:14 pm

  53. Oops, that should be Urkel.

    posted by Nichole on 12-19-2010 at 12:15 pm

  54. Good news, everybody! The Asylum is making their first superhero film! Follow the link for next summer’s “Almighty Thor”: http://www.bleedingcool.com/2010/12/19/theres-another-thor-movie-coming/

    posted by Michael D. on 12-20-2010 at 1:22 am

  55. Two points:
    It is heartening to know that films are still being crafted these days expressly for the use and abuse of MST3000.
    AND – Dick van Dyke could also be the actor’s (other) Grand-Uncle along with Jerry. Still,it’s just another example of selective personal history; Interesting though, It’s not that long ago ago that Dick (more:famous, talented) would have been the advertised van Dyke connection. Camp has permeated modern society.

    posted by Asa on 1-6-2011 at 1:42 am

  56. There is a new one on Netflix streaming called B!tch Slap….the box art looks like a blatant rip off of the upcoming Sucker Punch.

    And the best “safe for cable” dubbing has to be Showgirls on VH1. I was flipping past and had to go back when I noticed something strange. Took a couple minutes to realize they had drawn purple cartoon bras onto all of the women in the movie! Lol.

    posted by KMM on 1-25-2011 at 3:27 pm

  57. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUWLdYaEvFQ

    What’s Up is on Youtube. And yes, it is bad.

    posted by John Smith on 2-3-2011 at 11:44 pm

  58. “Doctor What”

    I prefer “Doctor Poo” He travels in his time traveling TURDIS (a blue port-a-potty) to clean up other people’s messes.

    posted by Amy on 5-9-2011 at 3:33 pm

  59. @Amy LOL!! Yes, and he has a sonic toilet bowl brush!

    posted by Franny on 6-18-2011 at 12:53 pm

  60. When I was a kid, a long time ago,that was-we would go to the drive-in and see several movies in a row sometimes from dusk till dawn.The first was usually something good,with big stars,the second a B picture not so expensive but maybe still a good flick, after that the stuff would go downhill rapidly.No one cared much of course ,the teenagers were doing their thing[ some of those posting comments were probably introduced to this earth at such an event], the parents were dozing off and in one 1953 Packard a small boy with thick specs was watching the worst motion pictures ever made.Now we have straight- to -dvds same crap,different time.

    posted by max verde on 6-21-2011 at 9:34 am

  61. You guys need to see the IMDB page for Bitch Slap ( Sucker Punch ripoff), Kevin Sorbo, Lucy Lawless & Renee O’Connor all star in the movie.

    DaVince treasure looks like it would be intereting to see, just to see what theories and stuff they use.

    Might have to go and buy the little panda fighter. LOL

    posted by Liz on 7-3-2011 at 4:45 am

  62. Wow….I had honestly never heard of any of these knockoff films. I have been laughing at my desk to the point of tears. I really thought this was a joke and then looked thsi up and again…WOW!!!! Great writing.

    @sammylee – - Rollins is such a great wrtier. I can get through one of his books in a matter of a few hours. Hands down one of my favs and at least you know he basis some of his on facts. Much better read any day than Da Vinci whatever.

    posted by Katie on 8-9-2011 at 6:02 pm

  63. Repo! The Genetic Opera had a ripoff. Amazing, amazing original idea, and then Hollywood is like ‘fuck this, I totally don’t want to pay for a sequel and fund an indie movie! Let’s make our own, but a million times worse!’. It’s pretty disappointing and very shameful.

    posted by Emma on 8-13-2011 at 10:01 pm

  64. Can you imagine the Van Dyke New Years Party, Dick talking to Shane, “So, what did you do this year?”

    SHEESH!

    posted by Daniel P on 8-23-2011 at 2:26 pm

  65. “Bitch Slap” was a very enjoyable low budget homage to exploitation films (if you like girl fights and bizarre, inventive use of green screen). I see virtually no similarity with “Sucker Punch” (which I also enjoyed). Both were surreal but if anything I liked “Bitch Slaps’” unspooling of its story elements in reverse order more than “Sucker Punch’s” three layers of alternate realities. Not much similarity… Well, other than the titles, which would make a great triple feature with “Kick Ass”, as far as that goes.

    posted by Poppaspank on 9-28-2011 at 3:10 am

  66. There’s actually another animated Kung-Fu Panda knock-off. I remember seeing it listed on Netflix’s instant service, but I can’t recall the title.

    Also I basically face-palmed when I saw a Princess and the Frog knock-off at Target when I was there to buy the soundtrack from the real film.

    I’ve also actually seen the DVD of that Up knock-off on the shelves at K-mart.

    posted by CeeNot on 10-26-2011 at 4:58 pm

  67. Hilarious!

    posted by Terri on 10-27-2011 at 9:44 pm

  68. Man, somebody really needs to sue the crap out of those no-talent rip-off vermin at The Asylum. Have they ever come up with an original idea? Hacks. Them Suck.

    posted by equinox on 11-13-2011 at 10:16 pm

  69. @CeeNot I believe the movie you are referring to is “Chop Kick Panda.” The box art looks pretty much exactly the same as the original.

    posted by Pat on 11-16-2011 at 10:28 am

  70. Now we know what C. Thomas Howell has been up to.

    posted by MrsDolly on 11-17-2011 at 12:03 am

  71. Oh hey, I kinda want to see that panda one, he wants to be a ballerina but he keeps falling down – that’s funny stuff.

    posted by Suzanne on 11-30-2011 at 4:27 pm

  72. You guys should have a post on the worst edited lines for TV such as mentioned in this article: “Monkey fighting snakes on this Monday through Friday Plane”

    posted by Joel M on 12-19-2011 at 7:30 pm

  73. I wouldn’t be surprised if most of these ended up on Syfy channel. Although considering how terrible their in house movies are, these pieces of junk could be an improvement.

    posted by wren on 1-13-2012 at 1:21 pm

  74. Alright, AVH Alien vs Hunter is awesome.

    posted by Gabe on 1-13-2012 at 7:46 pm

  75. You forgot “Chop Kick Panda,” available to Watch Instantly on Netflix, about a panda who saves his village from an evil tiger warrior.

    posted by Jason on 1-21-2012 at 10:38 pm

  76. My 5 year old came across “Chop kick panda” on Netflix instant streaming and I swear if he could say “Wtf!?”I he would have. Instead he yells “Ma! There’s something wrong with the TV!!”"

    posted by Felicia on 2-8-2012 at 12:15 am

Comment

commenting policy