Today’s Turnip breaks with my tradition of typing in random phrases. Today, I went looking for specific information on what I’d thought was called Safety-Man. Turns out, he was actually called Safe-T-Man (how could I forget that?!).

Anyone else remember this inflatable man from the 90s who used to be a staple in those in-flight Hammacher-Schlemmer-esque catalogs? You could put him in the passenger seat of a car (and drive in the HOV lane?) or stick him in your living room window so would-be thieves would think someone was home.

The ad used to go something like this: This unique security product looks incredibly real, with moveable latex head and hands, and air-brushed facial highlights. (They’d also give you the option of accessorizing with the optional button-on legs.)

According to the following, which turned-up in the Turnip search, Safe-T-Man is only available wholesale now. Lots of Web pages with people looking for one, though. So if you have bought one back in the day, you stand to make some serious $$.

• The Safe-T-Man Set Has Proven Deter Potential Intruders! A mannequin that can be dressed any way you like. Recommended by officials to thwart criminals.
• Safe-T Man is a life-size, simulated male, that appears to be 180 lbs. and 6 ft. tall
• If only I had closed the catalogue right then, I would never have come upon the point of no return: “Dress Him, according to your own personal style (clothing not included).”
• Safe-T-Man–Your escort for security on today’s dangerous roads. Life-Size. Realistic beard stubble!
• Though Safe-T-Man can dress for many roles—wearing hats for winter or for tropic breezes—in commuter lanes, the real men can count tolls; yet … do not fold to fit precisely in valises.