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I’ve blogged about the good old Gallery of “Misused” Quotation Marks before, but sadly, the gallery is pretty much defunct — no new entries in years. But, thank you Internet, there’s a very frequently-updated site to take its place: The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks. Here are a few favorites:
The “milk” is in the refrigerator.
The “best” first guitar that money can buy.
Pizza since “1956″
“Do not lean on “old” glass” (yes, that’s quotes-within-quotes: brilliant!)
Thanks for “coming to a complete stop.”
It just never gets old. And if you enjoy “misused” quotation marks, you may also enjoy this special bonus blog: Literally, A Web Log which catalogs misuse of the term literally. (Warning: a bit of coarse language on the “literally” blog.)
This is one of my biggest pet peeves! I love the episode of Friends where Joey doesn’t understand air quotes and tries to apologize to Ross by saying he’s “sorry”.
posted by caitlen on 9-6-2007 at 10:10 am
My high school basketball coach was a notorious unnecessary air quote abuser. Before our games she would give us long speeches about the need to “hustle” and try our “best.” They were very “inspiring.”
posted by Lauren on 9-6-2007 at 10:25 am
This has been an obsession of mine since I discovered, a few years back, the most egregious misuse of the quotation marks. It was on the menu of Boca Diner in Boca Raton, FL. In the sandwich section of the menu was The “Reuben”. It consisted of corned beef, Swiss, sauerkraut, 1,000 Island dressing on rye. Isn’t that what a reuben is? Why is it the “Reuben”? Ridiculous
posted by Matthew on 9-6-2007 at 11:00 am
I once ate at a restaurant that served “Blueberry” Pancakes. I received a blank stare when I asked the waitress why the word blueberry was in quotes.
I ordered them anyway.
posted by Greg on 9-6-2007 at 11:04 am
While a little “off topic” I must chime in with a peeve somewhat like “literally” and that is the over-use of “actually” in our spoken language.
I actually heard a reporter one morning say something to the effect of: “The murder was “actually” committed while the man was “actually” shooting the gun.
Yikes!
And it is really “too much”.
posted by WizardBoy on 9-6-2007 at 11:07 am
In the stalls in the women’s bathrooms throughout our building are signs that say, “Please discard all feminine products in the “brown” bag in the “metal” container.”
posted by Karen on 9-6-2007 at 12:58 pm
Glad you brought this up again. I was at the shore last weekend enjoying the end of the summer season, and found a sign in the market reading:
Fresh Produce - We Support “Local” Farmers
posted by Betsy on 9-6-2007 at 1:05 pm
How about a Gallery of Misused Hyphens? Adverbs ending in “-ly” (such as, ahem, “frequently”) are expected to be followed by a verb (like, ahem, “updated”), and so no hyphen is necessary, and in fact it is wrong to use one. It’s kind of embarrassing to point out punctuation errors when you yourself don’t have very good punctuation skills. Ahem.
posted by tom on 9-6-2007 at 1:23 pm
Ouch, zing! I have been out-punctuated.
posted by Higgins on 9-6-2007 at 1:48 pm
This is “great” stuff and I found “it” quite “fascinating!”
posted by www.saint.org on 9-6-2007 at 2:38 pm
Higgins and tom: I am certainly no expert, but it seems to me that Higgins used “frequently-updated” as an adjective, and that the hyphenated form in this case is correct. Ahem - zing, tom!
posted by Betsy on 9-6-2007 at 3:35 pm
Please stop saying that people who use “literally” figuratively are abusing the word. They’re not. There’s an article in the Slate archives about it, but you won’t let me include a link, so I can’t point you to it. Thanks!
posted by mike on 9-6-2007 at 3:45 pm
Can we rant about apostrophe overuse next?
At my old work the sign on the door said “Employee’s Only”. That drove me nuts on a daily basis.
posted by Marlon on 9-6-2007 at 4:06 pm
Oooh, I HATE misused apostrophes. They’re everywhere nowadays, too. It drives me crazy.
posted by Pointy-Hatted Geek on 9-6-2007 at 5:12 pm
I’m not “camera friendly”
I “scare small children”
I don’t “wear deodorant”
I’ve got a “slight weight problem”
- with credit to Chris Farley
posted by donner on 9-6-2007 at 6:26 pm
AIEE! “Misused” quote give me “hives.”
What’s worse, though, is really really obvious errors on signage. There was a mechanic near my house who had just set up shop on his own. His sign said “Mike Smith Auto Repairs. Formally worked at Midas”
Aaagh! It was a professionally printed sign, too. Do people not proof these things? That made me involuntarily hit myself in the head for a long time until he decided he was known enough to not have to advertise where he had “formally” worked. GAH!
posted by Rachel on 9-6-2007 at 6:41 pm
One assistant principal at my school could not produce a correct memo in less than three attempts, even with several of us handing her corrected copies on the first publiction. What a terrible waste of paper! Her errors were diverse, including spelling, punctuation, incorrect dates, mismatched day/date, etc.
Before earning her administrative credential, she was an English teacher…
posted by Barbara on 9-6-2007 at 8:24 pm
Betsy,
No, you certainly are not an expert at punctuation. I’ve been a copy editor for several major magazines over the past decade or so, and what I pointed out is very true. Look it up in any style guide. You never place a hyphen between an -ly adverb and a verb. “Trust me.”
posted by tom on 9-6-2007 at 9:59 pm
The apostrophe thing drives me batshit. Americans have no idea what to do with it. Recently I saw a sign-company van in a parking lot with the name of the company on the side. The name was something like EXPERT SIGN’S. Brilliant.
posted by tom on 9-6-2007 at 10:03 pm
There’s a house for sale down the street from me and the realtor’s name on the sign is in quotes. It annoys me to no end.
posted by Anne on 9-6-2007 at 10:10 pm
All these things drive me nuts. I read “Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation” not long ago and loved it, you guys would too.
posted by Apostrophe on 9-7-2007 at 12:13 am
Didn’t anyone learn that use of an apostrophe in a word like tom’s refernce EXPERT SIGN’S indicate possession? No one at my office seems to know this!!!
posted by roni on 9-7-2007 at 4:26 am
Another good topic to collect might be who/whom. I have argued with professional teachers over misuse of these words. What is so terribly complicated???
posted by Shimon on 9-7-2007 at 5:57 am
Don’t just complain! Most of these people are just looking for a way to show emphasis on a particular word. Most of *us* morally superior types would be smart enough to do that with a bold or italic typeface or with underlining.
One of our local semi-trendy restaurants here continually had a “mescaline salad” on its menu. Whenever we’d order one, we’d ask for extra “mescaline” on it, with the appropriate use of air quotes. They never got the joke no matter how often we tried to explain it to them, and eventually they went out of business.
posted by Aaron on 9-7-2007 at 6:02 am
Reading the lunch menu sent home from my child’s school, my wife didn’t understand why the description of Friday’s “fresh cut” fruit bothered me. When, exactly, did they cut it then??
posted by Bill on 9-7-2007 at 6:25 am
“Employee’s Only”
Hah! That’s nothing.
I once had a boss who put up a sign saying: Personal Only
posted by Bassman on 9-7-2007 at 7:44 am
there was a headline on Yahoo! yesterday which read something like “Study shows U.S. should lesson presence in Iraq.” ironic, no?
posted by mri on 9-7-2007 at 10:03 am
tom:
You were right. I was wrong. I hang my head in shame. And from now on I will trust you - no quotes.
posted by Betsy on 9-7-2007 at 4:03 pm
I know that I probably make too many Punctuation errors. I should do something about it, such as get a book on punctuation.
I consider myself “Punctuation impaired.”
posted by Tdave on 9-8-2007 at 4:28 am
@13, 14… have you seen the Apostrophe Abuse website?
apostrophe-abuse.blogspot.com
posted by Stanley Cubed Rick on 9-10-2007 at 12:40 pm
The earlier poster is correct, and you have not been “out punctuated” - the hyphen belongs where you placed it.
In 1970, I worked briefly in a television station which employed a person called a graphic artist. In his spare time, which was considerable, he made signs for the station. My favorites were “men” and “women.”
It is possible, of course, that he was simply politically correct before his time!
posted by Kent on 9-11-2007 at 5:35 am
My name is linked to an August 31 article from the New York Sun regarding quotation marks being used to convey emphasis
posted by me on 9-11-2007 at 8:44 am
I live a few block away from the local business-naming-atrocity,
“Your” Personal Trainer.
www.yourpersonaltrainers.com/
posted by Michelle on 9-11-2007 at 11:46 am
Kent,
Re: hyphens
You are incorrect sir.
I quote from the AP Stylebook: “When a compound modifier–two or more words that express a single concept–precedes a noun, use hyphens to link all the words in the compound except the adverb very and all adverbs that end in -ly.”
posted by Tom on 9-20-2007 at 1:17 pm
I’m on the side of Betsy and Kent. It may be that way according to AP, but that’s just the standard they’ve adopted, nothing more.
I gave my Strunk & White to my daughter to take to college, so I can’t look it up, but the way I learned it says it should have the hyphen when used as a compound adjective.
posted by David on 10-10-2007 at 4:16 pm
Just let Tom be “right.”
posted by fugly on 10-11-2007 at 8:09 pm
i dont no what all this fuss over “punctuation” is all-about. it seems to me that “proof-reading” a restaurants menu seems a little anal. Frankly, eye think “spelling” is a little over-rated, two.
posted by Rayzor on 10-26-2007 at 4:53 pm
The reason that the hyphen is not inserted between the “ly” adverb and the adjective is that it is not needed for clarity - that’s the main reason you’d add a hyphen between an adverb and an adjective, to make things clearer. It’s not wrong, strictly speaking, either way, because the meaning is still well preserved.
posted by Dan on 12-28-2007 at 8:24 pm