I contacted her because I needed to be in places where she was because I had priorities there nothing to do with her and part of my not having contact with her meant avoiding that. Ridiculous.

The reason I end up *having* to talk about it is that I have been unemployed and our mutual friends ALWAYS ask why I don’t apply to the office leaving me in the awkward position of having to explain myself. If I tell them, they tell me its her problem and I shouldn’t worry about what her or her husband’s issues are. I don’t want them to have to take a position on this. I don’t want to have to tell them about it. I don’t want to put our friends in the middle of a silly war that even I cannot take seriously. Hence my writing in. Thought it might be defusable with humor.

If anyone’s at all interested in what eventually transpired by my own efforts, I just withdrew and stopped talking to everybody altogether. I was so sick of the topic that I literally didn’t want to talk to anyone anymore. And I haven’t. Pariah-hood is more painful than you might imagine.

But special thanks to those of you who used the opportunity to insult someone you’ve never met. I actually needed help with this one – I wasn’t being cute. Nice to know that, left to your own devices, some of you assume the worst about people.

Cheers.

You’re being kind of a twit here.

Your first mistake was when you wrote her. You do not write someone who has just told you they do not want contact.

Your second mistake was when you tried to get a job at her place of employment.

I don’t care how bad you need a job or what kind of excuse you use to justify, THERE ARE OTHER JOBS OUT THERE. Find them. Yes, it’s not fair. Yes, you shouldn’t have to do that. But guess what? Life’s not fair. You should know that by now.

Drama only comes to those who create it. You’re creating it.

Talking to your friends will prolong it even further.

The best and classiest way to handle it is not to say shit. Jack. Zero. Nothing at all.

She’ll hang herself with her own words eventually and you’ll look like the bigger person.

Good luck.

I’d also drop her another note, explaining that you have no interest in social contact, but that you would like her to stop interfering in your professional life. The fact that you’re both in the same field shouldn’t ruin your career. If she’s interfering with your current career, consult with your hr department on harassment policies – she may be violating them.

In the Savanna, both predators and prey are sometimes forced to share the same watering hole for sustenance. Tread carefully, it sounds like you’re the prey. There must be other watering holes at your disposal.