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Every sports fan has their share of misery, but I think mine takes the cake. I grew up cheering for any team from Cleveland, an unfortunate bunch that collectively hasn’t won a championship since 1964. Voted the most miserable sports city by ESPN, Cleveland’s despair is unmatched: we’ve got The Catch, The Drive, The Fumble, The Collapse, The Shot, Game Seven and, of course, The Move. College wouldn’t bring any more joy; I go to Northwestern, where most would rather spend their Saturdays studying than tailgating. The football team hasn’t won a bowl game since the 1949 Rose Bowl, including a Divison1-A record 34 straight losses. And let’s not talk about the basketball team, which has never (never!) made the NCAA tournament and is ranked 320 out of 326 programs all-time.
But things are looking up for me; The Cavs have LeBron James, The Wildcats are 2-0 and the Indians are on the verge of making the playoffs. So, in the spirit of Schadenfreude, here’s a look at five sports fans more miserable than me.
1. Jim Coan
Jim Coan hasn’t watched Liverpool FC, his favorite football (soccer, in American) team, in a decade; doctor’s orders. He suffers from atrial fibrillation, a heart rhythm disturbance that can knock him out if he gets too excited. Anyone who’s seen the World Cup knows that excitement is what football fans do best. They cheer, scream and sing to the point where you’ve got to worry about someone having a stroke. Since finding out about the condition, he’s missed the team playing in a couple of league championships and a victory in the FA cup. He’s also had to cut back on scuba diving and parachuting, but says he hasn’t completely given up on the team; he still watches highlights of the matches and cheers them on, though in a somewhat duller fashion.
2. Laura Gibbons
Baltimore Orioles outfielder Jay Gibbons either has horrible or impeccable aim. Either way, he managed to hit his wife, Laura, with a foul ball last year. The ball struck Laura in the ribs and left her with some bruising; luckily she avoided more serious damage. Adding more irony to the incident is the fact that Jay had always been an advocate for more foul ball protection for fans; earlier that year he had spoken to management about raising the walls and adding a daycare center for children.
More Laura Gibbons misery after the jump.
Now Laura’s misery continues; Jay was recently named in a Sports Illustrated report about steroid use among baseball players. The investigation hasn’t been resolved yet, but if the team finds that Gibbons used HGH, they’ve vowed to void his contract, leaving Laura without the cushy baseball salary.
3. Brittanie Cecil
Despite being one of the most aggressive contact sports, hockey is surprisingly safe. In fact, only one fan has been killed in the NHL’s history. Tragically, it was a 13-year-old girl, which sent shock waves through the NHL community. Brittanie Cecil was struck in 2002 with a deflected slapshot that sailed over the protective glass at an estimated 100 mph. Her head snapped back, causing rare artery damage (the doctor treating her said he had never seen anything like it). She died two days after being hit, leading the NHL to investigate ways to improve safety for fans to prevent another death.
4. Prairie View A&M
As any Michigan student will tell you, having to watch a football team lose week after week can really put a damper on the college experience. So what happens when you go your entire college career without seeing a win? Students at Prairie View, a school in Texas, crushed the NCAA record for consecutive losses by losing 80 straight games in the ‘90s. The streak started in October, 1989 and didn’t end until 1998, meaning that five classes didn’t celebrate a victory. The worst season was 1991, when they gave up an average of 56 points per game while only scoring 48 total. Most fans only came to see the marching band, which only made the team’s 80th loss more bitter. The band was suspended after a brawl with the Southern University band, officially making the 37-7 loss the worst for Panthers fans (luckily, they won the next game).
5. Steven Manganello
Every member of the Red Sox Nation lived for the 2004 World Series, when they broke their 86-year curse. Even Steven Manganello, a long-time Sox fan made sure he booked his vacation in Japan so he could make it back before the playoffs started. Then came the twist you just can’t make up. On his last night in Japan, he was struck by a taxi and went into a coma. On top of the brain hemorrhage, potential paralysis, broken ribs and punctured lung, he missed the playoffs, the historic ALCS comeback against the Yankees and the long-awaited World Series victory. He drifted in and out of consciousness, so he was fed updates by his brother and friends (who even lied to him and pretended the Sox had been winning the ALCS the whole time). He recovered by the summer, when he watched tapes of the playoff games, but admitted that the experience was bittersweet.
This article reminds me of my high school days, our male basketball team didn’t win a single game my senior or junior year… that’s sad
posted by Judy on 9-13-2007 at 7:39 am
I had remembered Duke football being a lot worse, record-wise, during my undergraduate years. But a quick check of the stats shows they actually won 9 games. The blow from the 0-11 season my senior year was cushioned by the basketball championship the following April.
The Browns should shut it down and start over.
posted by Jason on 9-13-2007 at 8:33 am
NE Ohio: Kent State University 1981 - 1983
If memory serves, Kent started it’s losing streak in the latter half of teh 1981 season, did not win a single game all of 1982 and half way through the 1983 season. I was there the day they finally won; the fans tore down the goal posts.
posted by KJ on 9-13-2007 at 9:46 am
InternJason, I cannot resist - November 3, Evanston will be a sad town. Just a prediction… Also, I have to note - your university’s SWE chapter is huge! (I went for the region H conference last spring, and good lord, I thought my school’s chapter was doing well with about 20-30 girls).
posted by Lindsay D on 9-13-2007 at 10:08 am
There was also Steve Bartman, unwitting Cubs fan who reached for what he thought was a home run ball and found himself on the receiving end of seething Chicago hatred.
posted by Caleb on 9-13-2007 at 10:41 am
Poor Laura Gibbons… not only did she get hit in the ribs by her husband’s ball, she then had to sit there and watch him struggle through a steroid allegation (which is still ongoing, as far as I know). Not to mention, her husband plays for the BALTIMORE ORIOLES… that should make any wife sad.
And you know what? I can say it, because I’m from Baltimore…
(whose NFL team got “barely” clobbered by aforementioned Cleveland Browns… grrrr)
posted by Molly on 9-13-2007 at 11:46 am
As an former Atlanta Thrashers season ticket holder i have been going to games since day 1. my first thrasher game was their first ever home victory and they also won my second visit. however, following that the team did not win another game I attended until January of ‘02. From December of ‘99 till that January I probably went to around 35 games and they did not win a SINGLE ONE. however, the team did have a decent record when i did not go so i cancelled our tickets after the third season. despite my best intentions the team continues to suck to this day.
posted by Kyle on 9-13-2007 at 12:21 pm
KJ - also in 1994, after at least two really really horrible seasons, Kent State managed to beat the 2nd-worst team in the country: Akron. Goal posts came down, and we got to be on ESPN. I was in the band at the time and our director yelled for the Victory March but we had never played it outside of a few cursory run-throughs in rehearsals. Thank God for Kent State basketball in those years!
My high school boys’ basketball team was pretty dismal, too. They won 2 games in my entire four years there.
posted by Rachel on 9-13-2007 at 4:40 pm
You seem to have missed the “Red Right 88″ fiasco…
wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Right_88
posted by Vitajex on 9-13-2007 at 4:48 pm
My sister is one of the die hard bleed black and gold Pittsburgh Steeler fans. She had a liver transplant in 2001 and since has had 3 heart attacks. During the Steeler run to the Super Bowl in 2005 we desperately tried to keep her calm with no luck (she locked her husband out of the house at one point saying he was stifling her). After every game 7-10 people (including her physician) called to make sure she had not had another heart attack. For the Super Bowl her doctor seriously considered having her admitted to the hospital to try to keep her down. Finally gave her husband some mild sedatives to slip in her coffee right before the game. She survived the season (barely). The rest of the family was actually relieved they had a mediocre season 2006/2007. I am dreading this year.
posted by Mary Dulgeroff on 9-14-2007 at 11:48 am
Call me cynical but; If Jay Gibbons’ contract gets voided, Laura Gibbons could always void the marriage contract and find someone else with a cushy salary.
posted by Tdave on 9-15-2007 at 4:00 am