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David K. Israel
As Seen on TV
by David K. Israel - August 1, 2006 - 12:05 PM

As seen on TV-logo.jpgI like Mary’s contest idea about whacky sports so much, I thought I’d pilfer the idea for this post and start a whole new theme called: As Seen on TV.
In as few pixels as possible, the idea for episode one is this: who’s got the craziest idea for a Reality TV show? Because it seems the nuttier, the better the chances of securing a 13-episode order from a network. Need proof? Tune in starting this Sunday at 5pm ET over at A&E for Designing Blind, a new home-makeover series featuring—are you strapped into your parachutes?—a blind designer named Eric B.!

This, and more, via actor David Hedison’s website: “It soon becomes apparent that Eric ‘sees’ in completely different ways. In the course of the makeovers he confronts the couple’s issues of fear, trust and control while they learn to draw on the power of their other senses to transform their homes and their lives.”

So, okay, if a blind man can serve as make-over guru, and two cars leave Philadelphia traveling at the same speed, and x=y2, where x is a variable that only studio and network execs understand, what, pray tell, is your idea for the next big Reality show hit? (Though no free floss book is involved, you’ll definitely get bragging rights from a follow-up post and 15 mental_minutes of fame!)

Comments (10)
  1. Film school:
    Cast includes hopeful writers and directors who are paired up at the beginning of each episode and given a set of parameters for their film including a budget and a couple of actors. Judges = writers, directors, and producers. The best film wins and the makers of the worst go home.
    The actors can be like the models in Project Runway where they are tied to the winning and losing films.
    Tell me the casting call for that wouldn’t be astronomical.

  2. Good one! I can picture the merchandising already…

  3. Get a three bedroom apartment in a high property value area like Manhattan, Boston, or San Francisco, and place 6 contestants in it. Objective: In 30 days, at least 3 of the contestants must move out VOLUNTARILY. Nobody can just be voted out. Rules: 2 people must share each bedroom, the contestants must continue their daily lives (i.e. go to work, see girlfriend/boyfriend, etc.), the contestants can spend a maximum of 8.5 hours a day outside the apartment (to allow them to continue to work), and they can’t physically assault on another. Other than that, they can do anything they want to each other to get 3 of them to move out. Since no one can be voted out, they have to decide they just can’t take it any more. I forsee sleep deprivation, scary personal hygiene, and other creative passtimes. Now that’s good TV!

  4. Hey, Anthony, I think I participated in an unfilmed version of that show a few years ago in New York. I lost.

  5. I can’t believe I forgot the mention the big payoff! The three survivors get the apartment completely renovated (There is a strong likelihood of damage. Bizarre smells are virtually a given.), and, provided they can still stand each other, they get the apartment rent free and utilities paid for a full year.

    I have to add that this was inspired by a couple of freakshow roommates I had. Ultimately, one of them and I conducted a campaign of psychological warfare to get rid of the other guy.

  6. Two extreme right and left-brainers–with established lifestyles (job, home, friends, etc.) switch places for a week.

  7. Physics graduate school would make a fantastic reality series. You start with 20 incoming graduate students and enjoy watching them for a semester as they try to stay awake in class after spending all night on their homework, teach unruly undergraduates in their lab sections, fight for research positions, build interesting contraptions with lasers and spare parts from microwaves, and scratch their heads as they try to understand quantum mechanics. Then at the end of each week a board of professors decide which one flunks out of the PhD program (if you wanted a celebrity host, you could always try to sign up Stephen Hawking).

    Of course, you’d want to have your typical types of students: the smarty-pants know-it-all who likes to brag, the clueless nerd who’s never had a girlfriend, the hot girl who really is actually smart, the guy who’s into anime, online gaming, and fantasy novels, the Asian genius, and quiet one who’s really plotting to take over the world. As far as “reality” goes, sounds a lot like my first year of graduate school to me…

  8. It’s going to be hard to pick one! They’re all so good. Better than most of the shows on TV now, eh? Tune in next week, when I mention the winner in my As Seen on Tv post…

    This “contest” ends 6pm EDT today (Friday)!

  9. For our snapshot, soundbyte culture, here comes the rapid fire list of TV shows that America has the right to see:

    1) “American Idyll”: Whichever contestant, through poetry, painting, or song, can inspire the most city-folk to leave the big town for an easy, happy life in the countryside wins.

    2) “Cheer Factor”: It’s Fear Factor, but with only cheerleaders. Let’s face it; they scream better and probably vomit more easily when eating absurdly disgusting food.

    3) To continue the trend of vaguely threatening reality show titles, we’ve got “So You Think You Deserve to Live?”: Are you good at self-justifying? You’d better be.

    4) And finally, “The Reality Flow”: A little bit for everybody. Swap a spouse for a nanny (super, preferably) then, together, go on an race, amazingly, across a deserted island upon which you must survive, ideally by dancing and/or having a talent. Throughout all of that, you must cry spontaneously and for seemingly no reason. At the end, you win a million dollars, a new car, a corporate sponsor, and a five minute spot on the CBS Early Show, plus the winner will not have to pay taxes on that million dollars, since “The Reality Flow” will send him/her, all expenses paid, to jail for the next season of the show, entitled “The Reality Flow II: America’s Got Prisons!”

  10. Back in the late 60s/early 70s, the Firesign Theater did a quiz show called “Name That Disease!” in which a group of contestants were infected with a fatal illness and given a short time period to figure out what they had based on symptoms.

    I don’t recall what the prize was, but seem to remember that the first contestant to make a correct diagnosis was given the cure, while the others were not.

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