David K. Israel
Weekend Word Wrap: punny names
by David K. Israel - October 5, 2007 - 3:56 AM

bloghead_weekendwordwrap.gif

If you haven’t entered our first-ever cartoon caption contest, there’s still time. Go check out the cartoon and be sure to get your gag in before the end of the weekend. Then we’ll go away and come back with 3 finalists for you to vote on.

Turning from single-panel gags to gag names, in today’s Wrap we look at those humorous puns (or sometimes quasi-double entendres) that almost sound like actual names.

My brother taught me a good one recently: José Kanusee (I guess he’s half American-Indian/half Latino?). If you’re a fan of Car Talk, you already know that the end credits always include some terrific gag names. There’s Paul Murkey of Murkey Research; there’s the classic law firm of Dewy, Cheatham and Howe, and there’s the Russian statistician, Marge Innovera.

Those brilliant Airplane movies have a pantload, too, starting with Ted Striker. And, of course, who can forget that classic Who’s On First? exchange in the cockpit:


Roger Murdock: Flight 2-0-9′er, you are cleared for take-off.
Captain Oveur: Roger!
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower voice: L.A. departure frequency, 123 point 9′er.
Captain Oveur: Roger!
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Victor Basta: Request vector, over.
Captain Oveur: What?
Tower voice: Flight 2-0-9′er cleared for vector 324.
Roger Murdock: We have clearance, Clarence.
Captain Oveur: Roger, Roger. What’s our vector, Victor?
Tower voice: Tower’s radio clearance, over!
Captain Oveur: That’s Clarence Oveur. Over.
Tower voice: Over.

Of course, a gag name doesn’t always have to be made up. Let’s not forget about that great philanthropist from Texas: Ima Hogg.

So let’s get to the interactive part of the Wrap already. I’ll get the punny-ball rolling here with Warren Piece. Your turn… and remember, 007-girls, Monty Python-esque, etc. are fun, but probably best kept to yourselves. Let’s keep it clean here folks, okay? In other words: If it belongs on The Simpsons, our censors will most likely delete it.

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Comments (151)

  1. the formal NBA star World B. Free

    posted by emily on 10-5-2007 at 5:58 am

  2. does this count? i thought it was mental floss material…

    In Cymbeline, Leonatus
    is a character who is compared to a young lion: “Thou, Leonatus, art the lion’s whelp; The fit and apt construction of thy name”. Shakespeare explicitly points out in the verse that this character’s name via Leo (Latin for lion) and Natus (Latin for born) shows that he is born as a lion, hence courageous and strong.

    posted by c on 10-5-2007 at 6:09 am

  3. I guess I’m a little dense, but I don’t get Ted Striker. Or World B. Free, for that matter.

    posted by Bassman on 10-5-2007 at 6:14 am

  4. When I was in high this one was going around. If Tuesday Weld married Hal March (a game show host of the time) and had daughter they named Tuesday. She would be Tuesday March the 2nd.

    And there are these folks

    The world famous hobo: Noah Count

    Lovers of the US national anthem: Orlando de Free and Homer de Brave.

    The unlikely events expert: Wenel Freezeover.

    x-ray

    posted by x-ray on 10-5-2007 at 6:15 am

  5. Censors be damned, name on a grave marker: Iona Beaver. NO FOOLING!!

    posted by gus on 10-5-2007 at 6:30 am

  6. I work for a company that provides services for people that have disabilities. One of our individuals is named Justin Thyme. One of the county employees we work with is named Anita Penn

    posted by Doug warner on 10-5-2007 at 6:43 am

  7. how’s this? it’s from “whose line is it anyway”, hosted by Drew Carey.

    “Welcome to the 6 o’clock news. I’m the anchor Oswald Thatendswald.”

    huh? huh?

    posted by Marcus on 10-5-2007 at 7:00 am

  8. My parents once knew a lady named Ophelia Thing. Seems like a form of passive-aggressive child abuse to me.

    posted by Jess on 10-5-2007 at 7:06 am

  9. I actually was in first grade with a girl named Ada Pearl.

    posted by JaneM on 10-5-2007 at 7:07 am

  10. Sorry…I can’t let this go by without citing one of the great short-track race car drivers of all time. The one and only…

    DICK TRICKLE

    Go ahead, censor…look him up!

    posted by --Mike. on 10-5-2007 at 7:09 am

  11. My parents are insurance agents. Two of their customers are Page Turner and Hope N. May.

    posted by Leslie on 10-5-2007 at 7:32 am

  12. when my friends and i meet guys in bars that tend to be very touchy and are close talkers: Gropey McFeelerton.

    posted by mri on 10-5-2007 at 7:47 am

  13. I have a friend and a cousin both named Lisa Carr/Karr.

    (an alternative to buying a vehicle)

    posted by Kristen on 10-5-2007 at 7:56 am

  14. Illene Dover and her husband Ben.

    Chester Gigolo

    And my personal favorite because he really was the President of my College, Seymore Hyman.

    posted by Sheldon Siegel on 10-5-2007 at 8:00 am

  15. Always got a kick out of the a notable Loblaws owner – Bob….

    “How do you do, I’m Bob Lobaws..”

    Say it out loud – gaurantees a laugh.

    posted by TerryS on 10-5-2007 at 8:10 am

  16. I went to UGA and one of the buildings was the Butts-Mehre building.

    posted by Erin on 10-5-2007 at 8:16 am

  17. There was a list of funny names of actual people found in our company directory many years back.

    The funniest, by far, was Tijuana Hooker.

    posted by bre on 10-5-2007 at 8:18 am

  18. From a contest on the radio a few years ago, where funniest REAL name (backed up by photo ID) won a nice prize:

    Emerson Bigguns

    Might not clear the Simpson/censor test, though…

    posted by Chan on 10-5-2007 at 8:27 am

  19. There is an orthodontist in Hagerstown, Md., named Dr. Toothman. I am not making this up.

    posted by Ken on 10-5-2007 at 8:44 am

  20. I went to school with a girl named Maia Ho.

    posted by Jason on 10-5-2007 at 8:44 am

  21. One of my coworkers, who we occasionlly pick on is named Mistee, and her maiden name was Fye.

    Mistee Fye. No joke!

    posted by Bilal on 10-5-2007 at 8:45 am

  22. Vinnie Gardoosh.

    posted by Will on 10-5-2007 at 8:51 am

  23. I knew a girl in high school who had an uncle named Jack Hoff. No joke.

    posted by Noah on 10-5-2007 at 8:54 am

  24. Doctors I used to work with:

    Dr. Butcher

    Dr. Payne

    posted by Eddie on 10-5-2007 at 8:55 am

  25. My mom’s best friend when she was young had the last name Cox. Her dad’s name was Harrold, but he went by Harry…

    And, in that same town, growing up, the Chief of Police was Richard Head, but he went by Dick. Don’t ask me why-that’s just asking for it.

    posted by Phraz on 10-5-2007 at 8:56 am

  26. The best ones can be heard on your local NPR station on weekend mornings as the Car Talk (www.cartalk.com/content/about/credits/credits.html” ) guys roll their credits.

    Here’s a few off the top of my head…

    Lindsay Dolye – softball equipment manager
    Bernie Bush – prophet
    Selma House – real estate agent

    posted by mg on 10-5-2007 at 8:59 am

  27. I had a high school teacher named Richard Ryder. He went by Dick.

    posted by Evan on 10-5-2007 at 9:08 am

  28. From summer camp I knew a Buster Hyman and a Dustin Sweat.

    In Jr. high – about the funniest place this could happen – there was a plaque of school board members over the water fountain in the cafeteria. One of our diligent decision makers was Dick Click.

    posted by elizabutt on 10-5-2007 at 9:12 am

  29. The end credits of Prarie Home Companion always have a good list of these as well. My Dad mentioned (too often) his supposed childhood friends Phil and Carrie Potts. My favourites happen to be Y.B. and Abby Normal.

    posted by Karl on 10-5-2007 at 9:13 am

  30. Oh! One more. Summer camp is a wealth of names. I don’t know how I forgot about my good friend, Ryder Bush. He also has a son with the same name.

    posted by elizabutt on 10-5-2007 at 9:14 am

  31. Doug- I knew Justin Thyme’s counterpart, Justin Case. What were their parents thinking?

    posted by Lebetho on 10-5-2007 at 9:15 am

  32. I went to high school with a guy named Holden A. Bevridge- it was a classic moment when they announced his full name during graduation…

    posted by jbd on 10-5-2007 at 9:24 am

  33. One of my cousin’s classmates:
    Chrystal Chandelle Lear. (She went by Chris.)

    There is a road in Blue Springs, MO named after someone named R.D. Mize. I didn’t see the pun till I asked my friend about a possible next turn: “Should we go to R.D. Mize?” Her response: “Gee, I’d rather live a long life.” People who have lived in the area for years don’t catch on to the pun, either!

    The founder of a Midwestern garden store chain: Earl E. May

    posted by lleachie on 10-5-2007 at 9:26 am

  34. I have another summer camp friend whose surname is Nash. He has said for years he would like to have a son named Crosby Stilson Nash.

    You gotta feel sorry for all the people whose initials are B.M., no matter how wonderful or innocuous there names are.

    posted by elizabutt on 10-5-2007 at 10:20 am

  35. Forgive me for mentioning, but Piers Anthony’s Xanth books are ripe with punnish names.

    My favorite pun names were:

    Maiden Taiwan, and her sister Maiden China.

    …and although it isn’t a person’s name per se, the Isle of View.

    posted by Katherine on 10-5-2007 at 10:37 am

  36. Gang:

    One of the 2oth centuary’s great inventors and businessman William (bill) Lear. In addition to severa advances in avionics, he invented the frst car radio, the 8-track tape, and of course his eponymous Leer Jet.

    He named is daughter Shandra. His wife, Moya, was said to have put her foot down when he wanted to name his son Gonda, reasing Shandra at some would marry and solve the name problem.

    x-ray

    posted by x-ray on 10-5-2007 at 10:38 am

  37. I worked for a guy named Ron Rawn.

    And worked with a guy named C. Ester who named his daughter Polly.

    I’m sure they curse their parents daily.

    posted by Neil on 10-5-2007 at 10:58 am

  38. MG beat me to the punch on the Car Talk “credits” — I laugh every single week when I hear them.

    My friend used to live near chef Ming Tsai and his wife Polly. Polly Tsai. I wonder what she majored in?

    posted by Karen on 10-5-2007 at 11:00 am

  39. Like my father an grandfather before me, my full name is Joseph King. Most people call me Joe King and it’s just a matter of time. . . . .

    posted by Mean Joe on 10-5-2007 at 11:09 am

  40. I play rollerderby, which is a great source for punny names. Some of my favorites: Anne Phetamean and Ana Bollocks of Gotham Girls Roller Derby, Annie Maul of the Kansas City Roller Warriors, and of course, Ivanna S. Pankin of the Sin City Roller Girls. There’s a master roster that lists the names of every current rollerderby player and ref (Google rollergirls roster) Most probably wouldn’t make it past the censors here…

    posted by Ricochet Rabbit on 10-5-2007 at 11:18 am

  41. My parents’ last name is Bye. When they moved into the neighborhood, there were only two houses on the street. The neigbors’ last name? Good.

    Good. Bye.

    I also had a ton of fun teaching middle schoolers as Miss Bye.

    posted by Lindsay on 10-5-2007 at 11:47 am

  42. The Onahoffs had a great sense of humor when they named their son Buck.

    posted by Tracie on 10-5-2007 at 11:47 am

  43. In south Ga, there’s a store run by I.P. Rainwater.
    Also, my mom went to school with a girl named Tequila Sunrise Booze.

    posted by kricket on 10-5-2007 at 11:56 am

  44. As a kid, we used to crank call a name out of the phone book – Harry Wang.

    I believe there was a gynecologist in town named Dr. Finger also

    posted by Deuces WIld on 10-5-2007 at 11:59 am

  45. I had another one! I had a teacher in school who’s name was Richard Finder… we soon after found out his nickname was Dick.

    Dick Finder. We had a whole symbol to greet him and everything.

    posted by Bilal on 10-5-2007 at 12:17 pm

  46. My husband went through school with a guy named Richard Liss, who went by the name Dick…

    posted by B on 10-5-2007 at 12:18 pm

  47. It’s on here twice already, but I also had a teacher a Richard Head in my life (who went by Dick). And get this, not only was he a middle school teacher, but he was also the guy who monitored “office detention”. Could you pick a worse job as a man with an adjective for a name?

    posted by Michael on 10-5-2007 at 12:19 pm

  48. My family is full of these names, which is why I use a pseudonym.

    posted by Miss Cellania on 10-5-2007 at 12:35 pm

  49. When traveling to England or Australia, a friend of mine has to go by Randall; in the States, the name Randy Cox doesn’t have the same connotations.

    posted by Caleb on 10-5-2007 at 12:59 pm

  50. There is a surgeon who specializes in vasectomies here in central Texas named Dick Chopp.

    I also once worked at a call center where one of our clients was Clytemnestra Lysistrata Jones.

    posted by duke on 10-5-2007 at 1:09 pm

  51. Forgot about the Electronics teacher in high school. His last name was Bates. He used to get real upset when people would greet him “Good Morning master Bates”

    posted by Deuces Wild on 10-5-2007 at 1:23 pm

  52. I have a few
    I met a guy named Wayne Duap (sounds like rain drop with a lisp)

    A lady that does traffic reporting on a local radio station in San Antonio is named Elaine Closure

    and finally a friend of a friend is named John Athon

    posted by Lindsey on 10-5-2007 at 2:26 pm

  53. I have a few real ones…

    A local (Northern VA) OB/GYN is named Harry Beaver- he delivered by neighbor.

    A girl in my high school was named Wang Bang.

    I played football against a guy named Joe Mumma.

    I also worked at a summer camp with Sandy Beech and Gloria Hole.

    My sister worked with a guy named Richard Kohl- went by “Dick.”

    And last but not least, my aunt is Bea Tuff… and she was a marine!

    posted by Rob on 10-5-2007 at 2:31 pm

  54. I went to school with a girl whose last name was Nicholls. Her sister’s name was Penny.

    Penny Nicholls.

    posted by Janel on 10-5-2007 at 5:02 pm

  55. I once knew a man named Justin Case Duechek. (It’s pronounced Doo-a-check)

    posted by Adam on 10-5-2007 at 5:52 pm

  56. There used to be a dentist in Harbor City CA named Chaw Chow.

    My daughter’s married name is Auer. We had lots of fun when she was pregnant: Justin Auer, Story Auer, Witching Auer, Cocktail Auer, etc. Sadly, the boys have names that don’t make jokes.

    posted by Barbara on 10-5-2007 at 8:39 pm

  57. I went to high school with a girl named Phuc Thiu…no lie.

    she was vietnamese though; i’m sure it doesn’t have the same meaning

    posted by kac on 10-5-2007 at 9:47 pm

  58. A fellow by the name of Odd Little. In the company address book, listed as Little, Odd

    posted by David on 10-5-2007 at 10:13 pm

  59. My high school principal was named Mr. Barefoot. The vice principal was Mr. Shoemaker. They made a pretty good pair.

    posted by Keystone on 10-5-2007 at 10:44 pm

  60. My dermatologist’s name Dr. Lyde
    (no lie)

    posted by kathy on 10-5-2007 at 10:47 pm

  61. There’s a lady who works for a company I call occasionally, and her name is Anita Hardman, and her husband’s name is Richard, but thankfully he doesn’t go by Dick!

    posted by Amelia on 10-6-2007 at 7:20 am

  62. I knew a little boy who was named after his father, and both their names were Duncan Hines, and their wife/mother’s maiden name was Cake.

    posted by Amy on 10-6-2007 at 7:24 am

  63. Worked for a guy named Ron Rawn.

    Worked with C. Ester who named his daughter Polly.

    posted by feeler on 10-6-2007 at 9:21 am

  64. During my 30 years as a mailman, I have run across a number of real, hilarious names. Among them:

    A lung specialist named Weese,

    Several dentists named Payne (or Paine),

    A wholesale vegetables salesman who was half Mexican and half Chinese named Chuy Dong

    as well as having once had a supervisor named Dick Seamon (a nice guy, but I’m sure high school was hell for him!)

    posted by Loop on 10-6-2007 at 6:07 pm

  65. In college I remember a prefessor named John B. Goodenough. I guess he wasn’t as spectacular as Johnny B. Goode, but only adequate.

    posted by Evan on 10-8-2007 at 12:00 pm

  66. I worked with a woman whose last name is Hill. Her husband is Billy, and I used to chuckle when the caller i.d. showed that “Hill Billy” had called.

    Also, a friend of mine knows a woman whose married name is “Virginia Hamm.”

    posted by Alice on 10-10-2007 at 3:52 am

  67. Right after my previous comment, I saw on this past Sunday’s “Engagements” page of the Macon (GA) Telegraph, that Crystal Long will be marrying Shawn Storie later this month…the announcement reads “Long-Storie.”

    posted by Alice on 10-10-2007 at 4:16 am

  68. a doctors medical practice in hopkinsville , ky, back in the 60′s when i went to school, Doctors Cost , Payne, and Kutoff. no lie. their kids all went to my college.

    posted by susan on 10-10-2007 at 4:57 am

  69. Growing up in Nebraska, I had a grade school teacher named Iona Bump.

    posted by DrCrappie on 10-10-2007 at 6:04 am

  70. CBC news reader — Norma Lee McLeod. For some reason, every one normally calls her Norma Lee.

    I also once knew a man named Earl Lee who was most often on time for his appointments.

    posted by Duane on 10-10-2007 at 6:23 am

  71. I have worked with the following:
    Jack Frost
    Cookie Kuter (married into that name)
    Snow White Serta
    Rob Carr
    Jim Legg, whose father was Harry

    And in Virginia, body parts are common last names: Lipps, Nuckols, Face just to name a few

    posted by Mark Snowden on 10-10-2007 at 6:44 am

  72. Have a friend, last name Clapp, married a man named Case. (Even her brother has changed his last name.)

    At a craft show, bought something from a woman named Kitty whose married name was Catt.

    Austin, TX, gas station owner Phillip Metank.

    My aunt, who was called Fanny as a child, has the maiden name Takas and was called Fanny Tuchas (Yiddish, not sure of the spelling?), so I’m sure she was looking forward to marrying, “butt” she fell in love with my uncle, Walter Hein, no great bargain.
    Their daughter married an Akey. Ouch!

    posted by Lynn on 10-10-2007 at 7:09 am

  73. I work with a lady that named her Daughter Shara. that’s not so bad.Her last name is the kicker….Beaver! Can you imagine the roll call at school? Shara…Shara Beaver! OR when at the Doctors office and the nurse comes out from the recesses of the inner office and shouts Shara Beaver while every one else in the quite room is trying oh so hard to not crack up! Why didn’t a family member explain the implications before the child was born?

    posted by storylady on 10-10-2007 at 7:10 am

  74. My mother used to work with a guy named Richard – of course he was called Dick by everybody. Last name – Brain. Mr. Dick Brain. True true true

    posted by J N on 10-10-2007 at 7:11 am

  75. My mom worked with a girl named Dinah Mite. I always wondered what her parents were like…

    I live in Austin, TX, and there is a urologist here who does vasectomies–and his name is Dr. Richard Chopp.

    posted by Mo on 10-10-2007 at 7:57 am

  76. This is TRUE:

    I once waited on a set of 7 year old twins named:

    Jenna and Talia

    Imagine their mom calling them in for supper……

    posted by QT314159265 on 10-10-2007 at 8:02 am

  77. My grandmother, poor child, was named Ada Broom. To make matters worse the birth anouncement in the newspaper read: “A new Broom sweeps clean” which was an ad for Fuller Brushes at the time.

    posted by Nora on 10-10-2007 at 8:03 am

  78. My cousin was smart enough to go by Ricky Hickey, instead of Dick. I don’t know what my aunt was thinking.

    posted by elliferg on 10-10-2007 at 8:19 am

  79. I went to junior high with a girl named Sandy Beach. Then there are the “urban legend” names: Oranjello and Lemonjello (twins born to a gelatin-loving mom), and Polly Ester.

    posted by Joanne on 10-10-2007 at 8:38 am

  80. I knew a kid when I was in high school whose Mom’s name was Debbie, and his Dad’s name was Dallas.

    For those of you who don’t know, there was a classic “adult movie” titled “Debbie Does Dallas.”

    posted by Anthony on 10-10-2007 at 8:49 am

  81. I had an English teacher in high school named Lyon Trainor. He brought in his birth certificate, to prove it’s always been his name, as well as a copy of his son’s B.C. His name is Tyrone Shoelaces Trainor. Not quite pun, but strange nonetheless.

    A realator in my area goes by the name of Sue Casa. I have no idea if it’s her real name or not.

    posted by Maggie on 10-10-2007 at 8:51 am

  82. There is a gentleman who lives here in my town named Richard Blower. Fortunately, he goes by ‘Rich’ rather than the often-used ‘Dick’. Everytime I see him I have to wonder what his parents were thinking…

    posted by Jennifer on 10-10-2007 at 9:01 am

  83. I can’t believe that most of these are real!
    All I got is Anna Mate. That, I guarantee. I also know a Richard Ball, but he’s always been just Richard.

    posted by punkinsmom on 10-10-2007 at 9:04 am

  84. My brother went to school with a girl named Merry Christmas. And, actor Rob Morrow named his daughter “Tu,” making her name Tu Morrow.

    posted by Susan on 10-10-2007 at 9:21 am

  85. One of my teachers in middle school was Les Moore. I went to school with a Mary Christmas too.

    posted by Jason B. on 10-10-2007 at 9:31 am

  86. Let’s not forget the law firm from Ben Dover and C. Howit Fields.

    posted by Randall on 10-10-2007 at 9:58 am

  87. It was in the 70′s and I was a supervisor of evening shift staff at a large insurance company. The staff were all college students who worked part time. I digress. One of those students is (I presume he is still alive)
    Hay Yu, from Taiwan(?).

    posted by Clyde Pharr on 10-10-2007 at 9:59 am

  88. The surgeion who operated on me for kidney stones – Dr. Chopp!

    posted by Clyde Pharr on 10-10-2007 at 10:03 am

  89. My mom had a professor in college named Richard Dick — they called him Dick Squared.

    And I went to school with a firl named Holly Wood and another kid named Forrest Burns. Want to guess how many times we heard the voice on the PA announce “Forrest Burns, please come to the office immediately.” No wonder the kid was acting out.

    posted by Kristen on 10-10-2007 at 10:09 am

  90. In college I lived with a student named Candy Glanz. That’s just mean!

    posted by Jean on 10-10-2007 at 10:27 am

  91. I remember an episode of the old Geraldo Rivera show on hotel security and his “Hotel Security Expert” was
    Norman Bates.

    posted by ClaireG on 10-10-2007 at 10:30 am

  92. During my graduation at UT Austin, they called out the name:

    Allison Wanda Land

    posted by Karol on 10-10-2007 at 10:31 am

  93. I forgot this earlier.

    In Utah there is a fairly prominent public speaker named John Bytheway. Yes, that is pronounced “by the way.”

    I heard him speak once where someone told him he should name his son Owen. I don’t think he did though.

    posted by Janel on 10-10-2007 at 10:31 am

  94. Ok, I’m a teacher and one of the experts in the field is named Harry Wang… No joke. Look him up… He wrote a book called “The first days of school” or something like that… Should be on Amazon.

    Also, a teacher at my High School apparently made the secretary in the office angry. The teachers name as Toni Estes. But, every time they called her name over the intercom it was T. Estes.

    posted by WDennison on 10-10-2007 at 10:55 am

  95. I have a friend named Sandee Woody….

    posted by Jennifer on 10-10-2007 at 11:05 am

  96. There is nothing wrong with a name that make people smile. In fact they are nicer to you.

    Ted A. Bear

    posted by Ted A. Bear on 10-10-2007 at 11:43 am

  97. I a long time ago I replaced a gal named Heidi who got married.
    Her new name was Heidi Hoe …

    When I was a kid growing up, my grandpa use to say “hidyho!” as he tossed us up into the hay wagon, that was fun and sweet…

    Today, it seems to have a different connotation.

    posted by fuzzyballerina on 10-10-2007 at 11:46 am

  98. Before marrying my father, my mother’s name was I(ola) M(axine) Ready. After the wedding, she was I Will. Poor Mom.

    posted by Melodie Donohue on 10-10-2007 at 11:58 am

  99. I went to school with a guy named Horace Schmidt. He was a big kid so you pronounced his name carefully.

    posted by George on 10-10-2007 at 12:33 pm

  100. A customer from years past named:

    Richard Phenis
    (what cruel parents)

    posted by PapaGotIt on 10-10-2007 at 12:46 pm

  101. I worked for Mr. Mike Traynor, and when his wife was pregnant with their son their three year old daughter thought Potty would be a good first name. We liked Athletic. He got Henry. :)

    I also worked with a man, Harold Green, he named his daughter Emerald, they turned down Kelly which I thought was a little more subtle.

    posted by Melissa Marie on 10-10-2007 at 12:49 pm

  102. One of our Freehold Regional High School(NJ) teachers was named Pearl Button.

    posted by Gerrie Chandler on 10-10-2007 at 12:51 pm

  103. I used to have an uncle who was a doctor, his last name was Aiken.
    My brother breifly considered Kay for his daughter’s name when she was born, but decided against it.
    The town next to where I live has a Roe Road.

    posted by Edwin J. Martz on 10-10-2007 at 2:52 pm

  104. We have a client named Anna Graham.

    posted by financialwench on 10-10-2007 at 2:58 pm

  105. I went to high school with a guy named Graye Wolf. He had a younger brother named Timber, but he answered to Tim.

    posted by jaronfaron on 10-10-2007 at 3:00 pm

  106. …and let’s not forget the double-phallic Hall of Fame:

    baseball player (and son of game-show host Peter Marshall, whose real name it also is) Peter LaCock

    baseball player Dick Pole

    and, to add a little class to the HoF, actor Peter O’Toole.

    posted by JPtigercat on 10-10-2007 at 4:45 pm

  107. I had clients who were music teachers that named their daughter, Amanda Lynn. Another client went by the name of Dick Reiser.

    posted by Buddy on 10-10-2007 at 5:56 pm

  108. I grew up around a friend of my grandparents who’s name was Jack Frost.

    posted by Dana Armstrong on 10-10-2007 at 6:30 pm

  109. What about those two great basketball stars of the 80′s Basketball Jones and Tyrone Shoelace.
    A jones is an unshakeable habit for you non easterners.

    posted by Barry P on 10-10-2007 at 6:30 pm

  110. When Billy Gibbons teamed up with Dusty Hill to form ZZ TOP, he replaced Dusty’s brother, Rocky Hill, on lead guitar . . . .

    Beau N. Aros

    posted by Beau on 10-10-2007 at 7:52 pm

  111. Come on people. This isn’t that hard.

    A good friend of mine was Mike Weed. His dad was Dick.

    My Dad tells of a classmate in highschool, Ivan Oder…

    Then there’s the one from American Graffiti.. Mike Hunt.

    posted by David R on 10-10-2007 at 7:53 pm

  112. and a high school mate of my wife’s…

    Candy Appl

    posted by David R on 10-10-2007 at 7:56 pm

  113. My friend can be glad that her parents didn’t name her Candi…her last name is Kane.

    My dad knew a family of Smiths once…they named their daughter Mary Chris. Mary Chris Smith…poor kid.

    posted by Michaela on 10-10-2007 at 7:57 pm

  114. I dated a guy back when named :

    Forest Flower

    Another form of passive/aggressive child abuse “if you ask me” !!

    My daughter’s boyfriend’s father’s name is Richard, goes by , of course, Dick.

    Last name? Wene. Long e sound on both ends.Now with that last name to live with why name your kid Dick? Excuuuuse me??

    And last but not least, my daughter went to preschool with a little girl whose name was Precious . Last name: Pea

    I kid you not. Sad but true.

    posted by Lynx on 10-11-2007 at 12:48 am

  115. OH and almost forgot my granddaughter’s best freind…Her name is Brandy, and her last name is of course, Alexander.

    posted by Lynx on 10-11-2007 at 12:50 am

  116. I have a cousin named Bill Strange. My childhood dentist was Dr. Doctor.
    A roommate once had a cat named Fuzz Bucket, but one day someone got it backwards, and thereafter he was known simply as Buzz….

    Ingrid

    posted by Ingrid the Crafty on 10-11-2007 at 2:23 am

  117. One of my wife’s elementary schools principals was named Richard Licker. Of course, most men his generation, when by the name of Dick. No Joke! The school was AT Allison Elementary School in Chester, WV. Didn’t parents think of that before they named their kids?!

    I also worked with a guy named Harold Richard Howie. I understand now why he also went by H. Richard. Man, we had a great time with that one.

    posted by Michael on 10-11-2007 at 5:42 am

  118. When I was in high school I had a pen pal in florida named Penny Banker.

    In the 70s, one of Imelda Marcos’s former “friends” was Christina Ford. I used to tell my students what fun it would be if she, Christina, got married to me, viz: Christina Ford Pinto

    posted by Dan Pinto on 10-11-2007 at 8:30 am

  119. Add me to the list of people who have known a Jack Frost, albeit indirectly: I knew of him through his daughter, who was in my fifth grade class – Winter.

    No joke!

    posted by Briana on 10-11-2007 at 10:26 am

  120. i also like listening to prairie home companion on npr… the names that always crack me up are
    guy wire
    and sarah bellum

    posted by aimee on 10-12-2007 at 3:35 pm

  121. I just recently started a new job & they wanted to set up my company email. The company custom has always been to use the first initial of your first name and your last name. Mine was going to come out as “bhyne@abccompany.net”. The IT girl thought it was cute, but I talked them into using something else.

    posted by Ben on 10-13-2007 at 8:47 am

  122. We had a very generous man in our community who worked selflessly for charities and community improvements most of his life. His name? NOAH GOOD.
    His parents must have been very angry people…

    posted by Ms M on 10-13-2007 at 10:31 am

  123. As a teacher, I had a student named Carrie Dover and her brother was Les (Lester) Dover.

    My younger sister went to school with a Rainbow Moon and when her sister was born, she was named Sunshine.

    posted by Dianna on 10-13-2007 at 10:44 am

  124. So, I went to high school with a girl named courtney golden. She eventually married one nick brown, and hypenated her name to become (you know it) courtney golden-brown, lol.

    From the same graduating class was Erin Bell, who eventually married one nick dengel (dingle) ~ it was the Dengel Bell wedding!

    posted by Becky on 10-13-2007 at 7:45 pm

  125. My 2 personal favorites (real people!):

    My father used to have a secretary called Candice (aka Candy) Bowls, and my driver’s ed teacher in high school was named Harry Duckworth (as in, how much is a hairy duck worth?)

    posted by kathy on 10-14-2007 at 7:36 am

  126. Mary Lamb’s middle name was Hadalittle. True story.

    posted by Midge on 10-16-2007 at 7:49 am

  127. 3 things:

    (1) Duap would not be a lisp…

    (2) There is a Dr Gauz up this way.

    (3) A doctor I worked with told us that his proctology teacher’s name was Dr. Butts. Also, said teacher’s wife’s name was Fanny… Don’t know if it’s true or not…

    posted by Kristen on 10-16-2007 at 1:13 pm

  128. I went to school with an April May LeJune.

    posted by chris on 10-16-2007 at 10:38 pm

  129. There’s a Dr. Cummings in my hometown that is a urologist.

    He’s the “ask an expert” guy on our local news station.

    posted by katie on 10-21-2007 at 9:12 pm

  130. In Jefferson City Missouri the owner of Popp’s Lawn and Garden Center named his son and his daughter Soda and Lolly. This is for real.

    posted by Gordon on 10-22-2007 at 6:31 am

  131. I knew of a few kids in another high school a few miles away…
    Levi Denham
    Rose Bush
    Billy Idol
    Who does this to their kids?

    posted by Miranda on 10-23-2007 at 6:58 pm

  132. This is absolutely true …
    In our town, Hurletta Gossett married Tony Stanker, so her name is now Hurletta Stanker. (Think about it …)

    posted by Amy on 10-25-2007 at 1:34 am

  133. I know a woman who took her first husband’s last name of Dorr. After divorcing, she married another man, thankfully not taking his last name. If she had, she’d be Patty Dorr Bell.

    posted by jcb on 11-2-2007 at 9:41 am

  134. I had a class once with a Rusty Sink.

    and I think my parents were a little hopeful, if gramatically incorrect:

    ~ Ashley B Keen

    posted by Ashley on 11-2-2007 at 12:24 pm

  135. Sister-in-Law’s parents had 8 kids – last name Maddic (pronounced matic). Kids names were all puns. She is Kariz, brother Auto (turned out to be a mechanic), brother Matthew, brother Hydro, sister Cine (like cindy with an E), brother Trau (he later changed it to Trey). I don’t know the other 2.

    She was raised in the Philippines, so most of her friends didn’t get the joke.

    posted by Mary on 11-2-2007 at 3:11 pm

  136. There was a gal in my high school named Holly Wood. There was also a family in town with the unfortunate last name of Horney.

    My brother knew a guy named Lance Lance.

    And saddest of all, former employee at the company I work for is named Unique Hunt. Really!

    posted by pam on 11-2-2007 at 6:54 pm

  137. Back in the early 70′s, we had neighbors named Baum. They named their new baby Adam.

    We also had a friend named Stu Personick. (I’m not sure of the spelling.) He married a girl named Sue.

    posted by Elaine on 11-4-2007 at 3:35 pm

  138. I know that #130 is real. My mother’s first year teaching high school (in jefferson city) she had soda and lolly in her class!!

    posted by Kt on 11-5-2007 at 2:12 pm

  139. I Worked Down The Road From A Hair Salon Named Curl Up And Dye.In Boca Raton Fla.

    posted by RlR on 11-7-2007 at 9:49 pm

  140. Guy in my class has a last name of Cool…. and he’s Korean I think. First name Wei. Wei Cool

    … and he is.

    posted by annasina on 11-9-2007 at 10:49 pm

  141. I had a friend named Sara Cox. She used to spend time looking for men with last names that would be funny if she were to marry them. One day I got an excited call..

    “I just met a Johnathon Scratch!!!!”

    posted by Schene on 11-9-2007 at 10:55 pm

  142. There was a Rose Queen in Tyler Tx. in the 70′s named Holly Hedges. Also in Tyler, there were sisters named Amber and Chrystal Bowls.

    But the worst Punny name I know is the name of one of my daughters school-mates: Chase Cox! His parents were truly mean!

    posted by Kelli on 11-11-2007 at 5:53 pm

  143. A few years ago a dear friend of mine worked with an Asian gentleman whose first name was pronounced Fa last and last name pronounced Q. tue story I swear!

    But even still, I’ve always loved the law firm featured in the Three Stooges…..Dewey, Cheatim, and Howe

    posted by jen on 11-12-2007 at 9:06 am

  144. A colleague named Herb purchased a new computer back in the 70′s from a company named Wang. Of course it was the most powerful of the line. Herb bought himself a Big new Wang. LOL. Everyone had to see Herb’s new Wang. The machine malfunctioned. The company dispatched a repairman, Thic Fong Dong to heal Herb’s broken Wang. Much amusement in the halls.

    posted by Paul on 11-12-2007 at 10:16 am

  145. Real ones:

    Heidi Ho (a friend of a friend in Hawaii)
    Richard (Dick, of course) Kuntz, Math Teacher at my High School
    Dr. Doolittle (college biology teacher and yes, he too was a Dick. Dick Doolittle)
    Dr. Gouge (a surgeon I met on a train to NY)
    Dr. Loveless (the guy who took out my wisdom teeth)

    Real Drag Queen Names:
    Lucy Anna Purchase
    Marina Del Rey
    Lois Common Denominator
    Ann Chilada
    Kaye Sadeeya
    Agusta Wind
    Elsie Dee

    It just goes on

    posted by ken on 11-15-2007 at 1:28 am

  146. Hey Bilal.

    I used to be friends with Mistee Fye back in Youngstown, Ohio but we lost contact. Can you tell her Katy B says hello?

    Thanks!

    posted by Katy on 12-27-2007 at 10:00 am

  147. How about Kevin P. Moore…

    posted by Zheke on 3-14-2008 at 2:38 pm

  148. These were all soooooo hilarious, but have to tell you I live in the town where Earl E May began his seed and nursery company.
    The funniest name I can come up with is a headline seen on Jay Leno and the Tonight Show. It was a wedding announcement for a Mr. Rhea and a Miss Diar. The headline read: DIAR-RHEA TO WED.

    posted by Jan Johnson on 5-22-2008 at 2:16 am

  149. I once took a Calligraphy class, and the teacher wrote the lists for Weddings. One time, there was a guy named “Friez” (pronounced freeze) and a person named “Bergurs” or something. So he’s like, “The Fries should go next to the Burgers!!”

    posted by Becca on 11-22-2008 at 10:32 pm

  150. My last name is Pyles (piles) which was a slang term for hemorrhoids at one time…my great-grandfathers name was Seymour, and his sister was Minnie (Seymour Pyles and Minnie Pyles). Minnie was at least smart enough to go by her middle name Carol

    posted by Steven on 11-30-2009 at 4:33 am

  151. funniest name I’ve heard whether it’s true or not:

    Mike Litoris.

    “Hey have you met my friend, Mike Litoris?” hahahaa

    posted by Claire on 4-6-2010 at 10:52 pm

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