mental_floss magazine
SUBSCRIBE >
GIFT SUBSCRIPTIONS >
subscriber services >
When we bought our first house last year, funny things started happening to me. I found myself subscribing to every Martha Stewart-esque magazine I could get my hands on (and the anti-Martha…I highly recommend ReadyMade).
A part of this new, domesticated me included a completely newfound urge to garden. Guess what? My thumb didn’t get any greener when we acquired a mortgage. I’ve killed pumpkins, grown a tomato-free tomato plant, and demolished not one, not two, but three hanging baskets of different varieties. I’m working on a fourth.
Despite killing everything I touch, I’m still determined to get some cool plants. Below are a few that I look forward to brutally massacring sometime in the near future.
Plant: The Sensitive Plant
What Makes it Cool: When the plant is touched, its leaves immediately fold together. They do the same thing at night due to the absence of light.
How I Will Eventually Kill it: Probably by letting it stay out on our porch too late in the season. The Sensitive Plant suffers when temperatures drop below 65 degrees.
(Also known as the TickleMe Plant, the Shame Plant and the Prayer Plant)
Plant: The Bladderwort
What Makes it Cool: It’s carnivorous. Any organism that gets too close to the tiny hairs on the bladderwort will trigger the trap and thus be sucked into the bladder chamber of the plant, where it starts to be digested. Although it sounds like something out of Little Shop of Horrors, the trap is so tiny that it can only catch small insects like mosquito larvae.
How I Will Eventually Kill it: It’s mainly aquatic, so chances are pretty good that I will try to plant it in soil.
Plant: The Corpse Lily
What Makes it Cool: It smells like decaying flesh or rotting meat. And it’s actually kind of ugly. And it has no leaves or stems. And it only blooms for a week every year. OK, it’s just a really strange plant.
How I Will Eventually Kill it: I will never get a shot at this one, actually, because it’s endangered and only grows in the rain forests of Sumatra and in the Malay Archipelago in Borneo.
Plant: The Walking Iris
What Makes it Cool: New plantlets develop where the previous flowers were on the Iris. The stalk keeps growing, though, so as the plantlet grows, its weight draws the stalk down to the ground. When the plantlet finally rests on the ground, it roots there. This makes it look like the Iris is “walking” across the yard.
How I Will Eventually Kill it: It grows in clumps up to five feet wide, so I imagine I will mow over it at some point.
Plant: The Money Plant, AKA the Honesty Plant
What Makes it Cool: It grows flattened pods that look like silver dollars and make cool rustling noises in a breeze.
How I Will Eventually Kill it: It’s listed as a “beginner” plant, which means it should be easy to grow. “Easy to grow” is pretty much the kiss of death for me. I killed a philodendron.
Plant: Resurrection Fern
What Makes It Cool: It knows how to play dead. During drought periods, the fern goes grey and curls up, appearing to be completely dead. When it receives even a tiny bit of water, it turns lush and green again. Some have estimated that it could be resurrected after up to 100 years.
How I Will Eventually Kill it: I think even I can’t fully kill something that can resurrect itself.
Previously on mental_floss:
• Welcome To The Gun Show
• From Dumb To Deadly: The World’s Worst Toys
• 12 College Classes We Wish Our Schools Had Offered
• The First Time News Was Fit To Print
• Six Canned Foods We’re Reluctant To Try
• Feel Art Again: Stuff You Might Not Know About The Mona Lisa
LOL!! I know the feeling. I say that I have a “gangrene” thumb.
posted by Deanna Hall on 10-6-2007 at 10:59 am
I’ve got that sensitive plant! Saw one in a greenhouse once as a kid and I always wanted one.
Now I’m living in a rural part of southern China (Guangxi Province) for a couple of years and I found one at a market a couple of weeks ago.
Bought it and it hasn’t died yet. My colleagues at the college here say that what they call it translates into English as “Shy Plant”.
posted by Megan on 10-6-2007 at 11:14 pm
get cacti i’ve had 1 for 12 years and i can’t seem to kill it no matter how little care i take
posted by zach on 10-7-2007 at 1:24 am
Not to worry Stacy!I got a TickleMe Plant on line a year ago and its still alive. I even left it out side when the temperatures dipped to 38 degrees. I will bring it in before the frost. Mine has cotton candy like flowers. Have you seen the “TickleMe Plant Flowering” You Tube video, your audience might like to see it in a future article. Anyone can grow this plant and keep it alive…including you.
posted by Marcia on 10-7-2007 at 4:58 am
These are all really cool plants, but I’d kill them, too.
On a related subject, if you want to improve your reputation as a gardener, do what I do. I probably kill just as many plants as you, but I have a neighborhood reputation as a skilled gardener. Try a big variety, and get rid of the evidence of your failures. Plant more of the success stories. Give up on any plant that fails two years in a row, no matter how much you love it. When anyone compliments your garden, don’t mention all the failures. That is, unless you are writing a funny article about it!
posted by Miss Cellania on 10-7-2007 at 7:06 am
I’d just like to point out that there’s a really great song called “Resurrection Fern” on the new Iron & Wine album.
Other than that, I gots nothing.
posted by Tim on 10-7-2007 at 7:54 am
Yeah, we’ve definitely had a cactus for about three years……and have never watered it. Though, maybe it’s storage place is humid enough? I don’t really know, but we only use it as decoration for western-themed parties.
3 years? No water? Still alive? My kind of plant.
posted by Amanda on 10-7-2007 at 11:38 am
my husband hasn’t allowed me to so much as breath around any plants we buy. I too, am the kiss of death! i’m glad I’m not the only one out there!maybe I can convince him to get me a fern now….
posted by brenda on 10-7-2007 at 11:41 am
Aloe. I forgot about an aloe on a windowsill for six months once. It was fine.
posted by coeli on 10-7-2007 at 1:21 pm
It’s so nice to know that I’m not the only person out there who can kill a plant without even putting forth any effort!
posted by Shana on 10-7-2007 at 9:24 pm
Don’t feel bad. I killed an aloe plant and a cactus in the same week once.
posted by Erin on 10-8-2007 at 8:53 am
What about the Passion Flower? I’ve seen them, they’re amazing! But Wikipedia (linked in my name) can confirm: “all but a few species lasts only one day”!!
posted by sd on 10-8-2007 at 10:42 am
yeah, I can sympathize. i recently bought an herb grouwing kit that only managed to grown some chives and some other wierd plant that didn’t come with the kit. It currently sits on the back deck dying a slow, pitiful death. Poor thing.
However, I’ve had a Peace Lily for about a year that has miraculously survived enough to flower several times.
posted by heather on 10-9-2007 at 1:28 am
YOU CAN KILL A RESURRECTION FERN! I did it. You have to remove the water after a day or so, otherwise it gets moldy and rots. I’ve killed spider plants, cacti, and ficus. Even some plastic plants left in my care began to look sickly. I’m the black sheep in a family of gardeners, my mom’s a florist, my uncle owns a greenhouse, and my aunt runs a nursery.
posted by Maggie on 10-10-2007 at 8:59 am
I live near Sarasota, Florida and Selby Gardens has a specimen of the corpse plant there. People come from all over to smell it when it blooms; I have never been brave enough, though.
posted by Susan on 10-10-2007 at 9:23 am
The Sensitive Plant is also in the Philippines. I’ve heard it called Shy Plant or Touch-Me-Not there.
posted by RJ on 10-10-2007 at 11:43 am
I once had a money plant that was eaten to nubs by snails and/or slugs. If you can protect your money plant from those beasties, it will eventually go to seed, insuring generations of money in your garden! Remove the papery seed coverings when they’re dry for best effect!
posted by ma smalls on 10-10-2007 at 6:21 pm
In the Philippines, the Sensitive Plant is NEVER considered a house plant. It is an obnoxious weed, has thorns on its stem, and grows wild all over the country.
The only use I could remember for this plant was as an example in our high-school biology class of a plant exhibiting thigmotropism or response to touch.
posted by Dan Pinto on 10-11-2007 at 9:04 am
*shakes head*
When you can kill an air plant (you know, the ones that only live on AIR?), then talk to me about black thumbs.
posted by Alli on 10-11-2007 at 4:38 pm
Since I’m lucky enough to have a university greenhouse to play in, my ‘cool’ plant of choice is the pineapple. You can just take the leafy top right off of a store bought fruit and it’ll grow. Inexpensive initial investment plus you get some tasty fruit for a smoothie or blender treat!
posted by Katherine on 10-12-2007 at 3:19 pm
The money plant is a weed I wish I could kill. They’re growing all over my property. How do I get rid of it?
posted by Alastair on 10-20-2007 at 6:44 pm
You could have mentioned the ever popular Venus Fly Trap. We have a bog plant which does the same thing. The Pitcher Plant has pitcher shaped leaves into which bugs fall. They are drowned in the fluid in the bottom. I don’t know if this is secreted by the plant or is simply water. The plant then “digests” the happles bug and eats.
posted by gus on 10-21-2007 at 4:41 am
“Mimosa pudica”, the sensitive plant, is not be a native of Brazil but can be found in Tropical countries. It can also be seen here in Asia. In the Philippines, we call it “makahiya” which is a Tagalog translation of “being shy”.
posted by Elmer on 10-23-2007 at 9:40 pm
I love this article. My husband calls me the black thumb of death. I’ve killed thousands of dollars worth of plants and trees. I do have couple African violets that thrived, but I killed 5 basil plants this year.
posted by Cathryn on 10-26-2007 at 8:54 am
the only plant i haven’t managed to kill lately is called the lucky bean plant. i have left it outside when it dropped below 50 degrees and it actually thrived. even though it says its a tropical plant. i have also forgot to water it for over 3 weeks. the only way i have found to kill it is to water it once a week as the directions say, the roots will rot if the soil stays the last bit moist.
posted by melissa on 11-6-2007 at 6:48 am
The “tickleme’ plant as you call it is really popular where I semi-live in Brasil. I heard from some people that they were almost extinct though.
I found it funny, in Brasil their name is “Nao Me Toque” which translates to “Don’t Touch Me”.
posted by Edv on 11-13-2007 at 10:15 pm
You can’t kill money Plant(lunaria) They self seed and spread all over the place. If you kill them you can hire yourself out to eradicate Kudzu in south.
posted by Carol geiger on 12-4-2007 at 5:49 pm
Wow, I can’t believe I actually watched the strange resurrection plant video for 6 minutes… Need to learn to just fast forward to the end :)
Though I thought the fishie’s cameo was quite touching.
Love the article… sounds like me! I kill everything… I’m surprised my cat has lasted so long :D lol
posted by Katy on 12-13-2007 at 11:19 pm
Kara grows GREAT potatoes as houseplants! Just ask her!
posted by Stroke! on 12-14-2007 at 12:53 pm
That video is kinda creepy…who is that woman? WTF?
posted by Ignacio on 12-18-2007 at 5:35 pm
Stacy, if you would ever like to visit a corpse lily in person (or at least watch it grow on the internet!) you can visit the UC Davis arboretum. They have at least one, and they webcam it every year during its blooming season - thankfully the smell doesn’t come along with the video!
posted by Karen on 12-20-2007 at 2:34 pm
You “black thumb” folks are not trying. Real gardeners lose plants too, but we look at it as a chance to grow something else. Usually the problem is one of 3 things: Too much water, too much sun, or too much fertilizer. Don’t try so hard!
If a plant does not flower or produce fruit, it is usually too much nitrogen. Try easy stuff: The money plant is a weed. Mints are easy, and they will spread by roots and take over in the third year. If the label says “Easy to grow!”, watch out for an invasive weed. But they will build you confidence. My favorite easy, non-invasive plant is Geranium, but not the stuff people call Geranium. I mean crane’s bill geranium.
posted by Kent on 12-30-2007 at 6:24 pm
hey thxs so much i got a school projest due tomm and yall saved me thxs (peace out)
posted by l3enny boy on 1-31-2008 at 9:03 pm
I am a “black thumb” type. I do try. I have killed everything I have tried to grow (including a cactus) with the exception of a spider plant. I think my biggest thing is I forget to water them. I would love dearly to be able to grow roses though.
posted by bethyny on 2-23-2008 at 4:57 am
I totally agree with you on the plant-killing thing.
But there is one normal plant that JUST. WON’T. DIE. The Cactus! I’ve had my little cactus since 4th grade, and no matter how poorly I care for it, he generally stays lush and green.
posted by Emma on 3-6-2008 at 4:55 pm
I love those tickleme plants. Grow them with my kids at school. Most live!
posted by Sara on 4-6-2008 at 2:47 pm
4 o’clocks! You can get it with different colored flowers that bloom around 4pm. It dies back in the winter, but comes back stronger every year, with the rhizome getting bigger, too. They have big black seeds, so it’s easy to grow more, but they do get aggressive - they’re all over my yard, but they fill in the bare spots nicely.
posted by Miranda on 4-14-2008 at 1:59 am
I killed IVY once. Truly!
posted by Dawn on 5-3-2008 at 9:37 pm