My proposed game is called “You Can Never Go Home Again: The Game of Revisiting Your Youth”

The game has only one mechanic. You roll dice. You move. Endlessly. In a colorful circle. Like all games from your youth, the rules are poorly written, it contains a bunch of cheap plastic pieces that will break with the slightest touch, there are a hundred cards and chits, all of which are easy to lose and 100% essential to play the game properly, and it has a pasted on theme from some saturday morning cartoon from twenty years ago. You and your friends will take turns rolling the dice and moving your cartoon character pawn in a never-ending circle for hours until you finally come to accept that nothing from your youth, especially the Thundercats, will ever be nearly as cool as you remember it and you all get get those cartoon logo damn tattoos removed.

The Deluxe edition smells like your parents’ garage.

Now, here’s an idea for a board game: “DON’T DROP THE SOAP” where you are in prison and your goal is to win parole.

Is it real or made up? After you guess, click on my name to find out…

Gas Attack!

The tag line: Ganstas Go Green

How about a game about environmentally-conscious gangsters? The goal is to gain alternative fuel cards through out the game so a large amount of drive-bys can be performed. Penalty’s will be given to anyone who has aregular gas card at the end of the game.

The game is played in rounds, wherein each round a different player is the judge. The first judge can be the youngest person and then move clockwise around the board (or bored). Each round begins with the judge drawing a card. The card has a beginning sentence, such as: “Once, at the county fair . . .” or “At the estate sale after my Unlce Lou died . . ” and four words. the words can be tangible items, emotions, verbs, etc. Each player (but not the judge)has to make up a short story using the beginner phrase and all of the words on the card. After two or three minutes, each player will read their story. The point is to be the most boring. Players will secretly select who the judge has decided is most boring. Players who match the judge and other players move ahead two spaces, if only one player matches the judge, the judge and the player move ahead three spaces, if no one matches the judge, the judge moves ahead 4 spaces. The player with the most boring story will move ahead one space if they have not moved under any of the other conditions. The board is 375 spaces long. The game ends when someone reaches the finish line, or all players agree they are bored and opt to watch Ninja Warrior on G4 instead. In the latter instance, the winner shall be whoever is farthest.

The doctors take on fun! View the cavities picture and guess which cavity you’re in. It could be any kind of cavity, human, animal, plastic.

It’s kind of a Rorshak test meets Candyland, but using actual photos of…well…Rover’s leftovers.

Dollars Incense!

“Travel the globe peddling your aromatic goods. Start out hawking patchouli from your home while you try to expand your business. The first person to build enough capital to open a perfume laboratory and control the market wins! But take caution! Dirty hippies and capitalists will both conspire to cheat you of your wares, though each will make you feel bad in a different way.”