THE BELL: Big Ben

NAMED FOR: Sir Benjamin Hall, the commissioner who played diplomat between the architect and clockmaker; some believe it was named after Ben Claunt, noted boxer

WHERE IT RESIDES: The Clock Tower, Palace of Westminster

CORRESPONDING NFL FIGURE: Ben Roethlisberger, you know, Big Ben

MOMENTS OF INTERSECTION:

• In Mars Attacks!, Big Ben was obliterated by Martians; post-Superbowl XL, Ben Roethlisberger was perhaps not dissimilarly maligned in the imaginations of the Seattle Seahawks
• In June of 2006, Big Ben’s “Quarter Bells” were down for four weeks; In June of the 2006, Ben Roethlisberger was in a serious motorcycle wreck, suffering–among other injuries (he rode sans helmet)–a broken jaw and nose; but he was back in action for preseason games.

THE BELL: The Liberty Bell

NAMED FOR: Liberty wrought from the Revolutionary War (though it was originally referred to as the Independence Bell, the State House Bell, the Province Bell, or Ol’ Yankee’s Bell)

WHERE IT RESIDES: Liberty Bell Center, Market & 6th, Philadelphia

CORRESPONDING NFL FIGURES: Philadelphia Eagles RB Brian Westbrook & former NFL-er Tevita Ofahengaue

MOMENTS OF INTERSECTION:

The Liberty Bell has cracked twice, though there’s controversy over exactly when; Brian Westbrook suffered a cracked rib in 2004

In April of 2001, Mitchell Guilliatt struck the bell four times, shouting “God Lives!”; he got nine months in jail & had to pay $7,093 in damages; In April of 2001,Tevita Ofahengaue was the last (246th) pick in the NFL draft, becoming that year’s “Mr. Irrelevant”

THE BELL: The Great Bell of Dhammazedi, fabled to be one of the most massive bells ever constructed

NAMED FOR: Dhammazedi, the 9th Mon King of Myanmar; while being transported by Portuguese looters in 1608, it sank to the bottom of the Dawpone River

WHERE IT RESIDES: Lodged deep in the mud off Monkey Point; there have been plans to recover it, but as of now it remains buried.

CORRESPONDING NFL FIGURE: Mike Ditka, coached amazingly with the Bears (even though he was eventually fired) and perhaps was lodged in Monkey Point with the Saints. Any other intersections up for grabs.