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We’ve covered LOLCats before (including Miss C.’s hit LOLCat of Death post), but now things have gotten a little out of hand. The phenomenon of LOLCat Grammar has now matured enough to support a translation of the Bible into LOLCat language. Seriously. Check it out: LOLCat Bible Translation Project.
The site is just getting started, but there’s already plenty of material on there. And if you’re into LOLCats (or Biblical translation), you can create an account and help with the translation! Note that the site expects readers to be familiar with popular LOLCat idioms like Ceiling Cat (warning — slightly mature content), who stands in for God in most of the translations. Here are some examples of early work from the the LOLCat Bible Translation Project:
Genesis 1
- Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat waz invisible, & he maded the skiez & da earths, but he no eated it.
- The earths wus witout shapez & wus dark & scary & stufs, & he rode invisible bike over teh waterz.
- & Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? & lite wuz.
- & Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stufs, & seperatered the lite form dark & stufs but taht wuz ok cuz cats can seez in teh dark & not tripz ovr nethin.
First Epistle to the Corinthians
- Ceiling Cat sez, “Paul, you be Jesus bro, cuz i like datz.”
- Hai to youz who iz in ur Corinth, likin ur Ceiling Cat, and to evri wonz else who sayz Jesus is da man.
- cheezburgrz for all of youz
- i alwayz thx Ceiling Cat for you.
- Ceiling Cat givz you all you needz.
- because you liek Jesus.
- u haz all teh cheezburgz u needz while u waitz for Jesus to come down from teh ceiling.
- Ceiling cat will givez you cheezeburgrz, so you no eated cookiez.
- Ceiling Cat never forgetz! O yeah An he sez “plz hang with mah boy Jesus kthnx”
- evribodi get along plz?
- bcz Chloe telled on u! u r OMG fightin!
Ruth 1
- In teh dayz of judges, no foodz. Man from Bethlehem (dat in Judah) is has wife ‘n too sonz and leave for Moab.
- Man is Elimelech. Wife iz Naomi. Sonz names don’t matter, they dies soon anways lolz. They livez in Moab now.
- Elimelech dies, Naomi is widowe. Still gots two sunz.
- Sons has gots wives now, Orpah n’ Ruth. Family livs in Moab for tene yers and
- Sunz dies lolz. Naomi now widowe with no sunz.
- She hears that Ceiling Cat help his pepples by givin thems cakes n’ pies n’ cheezebrgrs kthx. Naomi is gets doghters n’ goes bak to Israel.
- Thems all leave home on the roadz to teh Judahs.
- Naomi sez “Kthx, but yuz go home to yur momz. May teh Ceiling Cat give all of you happy ‘n stuff as yous have shown yours dead n’ me.
- “May Ceiling Cat givez you will finds sleeps n’ more mens ‘n stuffs, kthxbye.” She kised thems and all cried lolz.
Go forth and read the rest, if you dare.
wow, that’s blasphetastic.
i liked it
kthxbye
posted by melanie tarrant on 10-15-2007 at 8:58 am
I’m still waiting impatiently for this inane mind-bleeding-out-the-ears trend to disappear down the permanent drain of overdone internet fads.
I couldn’t make it through Gen 1:1 before I felt a little part of myself die.
posted by Julia on 10-15-2007 at 9:53 am
If the Bible was like this, I would still go to church.
Because the Church would be a radically different (and fuzzy) entity.
kthxbai.
posted by Lea on 10-15-2007 at 10:20 am
That’s hilarious! I hope this meme never dies.
posted by David on 10-15-2007 at 10:41 am
Edwin Newman and I thought the English language was being hoplessly crippled by nouns turning into verbs & vice-versa.
I can see we were wrong - what the hell is this dialect? Do we need it? Are people purposely shooting themselves in the foot - repeatedly - in an attempt to show their cool? Just reading a few lines of it gave me a headache!
This is worse than Ebonics, another artificial attempt to disguise ignorance as sub-culture.
posted by Doc on 10-15-2007 at 11:17 am
Wow I love this! lolcat-ish has always been easy to understand, and now it’ll make the Bible so much better by removing the unnecessary stuff.
“Sonz names don’t matter, they dies soon anways lolz.” I laughed when it said “lolz”, right on ceiling cat, right on.
posted by Korin on 10-15-2007 at 12:51 pm
Maybe it’s just me, but I think you’ve found a way to make a Bible that’s even harder to read than the King James version.
posted by Ken on 10-15-2007 at 12:59 pm
I think som foks shud liten out. Nobudy forsez u 2 reed ths.
Translated into English, I’m thrilled that Christopher Hitchen’s book has been nominated for the National Book Awards. Now the light has really been separated from the dark and it’s past time. Ceiling Cat and the Flying Spaghetti Monster rule!
posted by Alice on 10-15-2007 at 2:00 pm
I can’t stand this cat talk thing, I equate it with trying to read text messagea. By the way, what is a bible?
posted by gus on 10-15-2007 at 2:55 pm
“This is worse than Ebonics, another artificial attempt to disguise ignorance as sub-culture.”
Doc, I think you might be judging this thing a little too harshly and writing it off too early. The cleverness of some of these (not Bible one so much) is surprising.
It’s not a glorification of ignorance, but more of an inside joke that pretty much everyone knows about. Wall Street Journal has a perfect primer. Just paste this in to Google:
wsj With ‘LOLcats’ Internet Fad,Anyone Can Get In on the Joke
posted by Ben L. on 10-15-2007 at 5:08 pm
Wow this is genius. I hope they release a leather-bound edition.
posted by TMo on 10-16-2007 at 8:04 am
may the lolcat be with you. amen.
posted by sarakenobi on 10-16-2007 at 8:26 am
Ben L:
I probably am judging this too harshly, but I am sick/tired/& annoyed at people pasing off ignorance as some new wave, or illiterate rethinking of the language, proving once and again the “Look Jane, See Spot Run” approacch to reading has failed miserably.
cf: Tagalog.
I do (sort of) admire the creative way these folks abuse English. I realize that Shakespeare had his own spelling quirks, as did most eveyone up until Dan Webster codified it in his dictionary.
But using typos as a way to justify your idiocy (”teh” instead of “the”) is just plain wasteful of bandwidth, food, and oxygen on a hungry, crowded and over-internetted planet.
I respect your position, I just don’t agree with it other than to see the amusement value of the dialect and wonder if the people translating the Bible into this gobbldyygook haven’t anything better to do with their time.
Best wishes…
posted by doc on 10-18-2007 at 10:42 am
Dear Friend in Christ,
Greetings in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ!
I have been going through the studies at your web site, and I am deeply inspired with all of the teachings and studies thereon like Bible studies, sermons, children’s sermons and other teaching materials on our Web site. This is such a wonderful studies you have arranged for all the nations, in the long run of your service for the nations of the all the world.
I am from Islamic Republic of Pakistan where it is difficult to have Radio and TV channel for preaching purposes. They would not allow us to do that here; the Satan has real strong hold over everything. I often say that we are living in the land of the enemy.
Friend, I humbly request you to expand your outreach your program in Urdu and Punjabi language. Urdu is the language spoken and understood by more than one sixth of the total population of the world. Urdu is spoken in Pakistan, India, Nepal, Afghanistan and also in Indonesia, Malaysia, Iran and others.
I would ask you to pray and share it among the brethren. I would offer my services for being translator, recorder and distribution/sales. I pray that your consideration will have His mark over your decision.
May God bless you abundantly! May His perfect will be done!
Grace and Peace be with you, all brethrens.
Yours brother in Christ,
Asim
Pakistan
posted by Asim Saddique on 11-29-2007 at 3:25 pm