After great consideration and furrowing of brows, we are proud to announce the winner(s) of our stupid-sports contest. We wanted a sport we could actually play, so we ruled out entries that involved guaranteed physical pain (ski bowling, businessman bowling, “sit on your brother’s head and suffocate him,” a soccer/basketball hybrid called “broken nose”). We didn’t have enough hot 18-year-olds on staff for jello dodgeball, and our men were a bit too macho for “World Macrame Competition.” We were totally up for “sky surfing” but we couldn’t afford a plane. “Bocquet” had potential but we couldn’t figure out how to pronounce it. That left us with three finalists…

Bronze: SudokuJitsu. Wins the medal for the name alone — Derek, we’re sure there’s a book deal out there for this.

Silver: Finger Jousting. Beautifully described here. We totally would have given this first prize, except it appears to already be somewhat established, thus constituting a slight bending of the rules.

Gold: Team Bobbing. Explained to an almost frightening degree here. We like that this is a new take on an old favorite — and we also like that it’s guaranteed to make every single player (a) laugh and (b) look ridiculous. We also have to commend John for his enthusiasm for all odd sports. He’s a man after our own hearts.

As the gold-medal winner, John gets a copy of Cocktail Party Cheat Sheets. As a consolation prize, Julian — the self-styled “Lord of the Joust” — gets the pleasure of knowing that the mental_floss staff will be testing out finger-jousting at our staff gathering in New York next week. We’ll post evidence, assuming we don’t come off as total idiots.