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Recently, my roommate starred in a music video of one of her songs (it’s great–I’ll post it when it’s edited). Even though I had been minimally involved in the bureaucracy of staged productions in college, I’d never seen a real stylist in action. I’d never seen a team of people so passionately engaged over which pair of patterned tights would go with which bracelets to effect the ideal tone. When I showed up on set to watch it all go down, I was impressed: yes there somehow was a vast, ineffable chasm of cool between a runner-up outfit and the winning one. These people were slick, and they were good!
Also, I never really considered the reality of a stylist’s life: that you have to “pull” a bunch of outfits, and then inevitably return a bunch. Suddenly, I started noticing stylists everywhere—they were impeccably dressed and usually flagged by similarly styled acolytes, and they’d canvass the entire store like they were a SWAT team and this was not a smug Eastside boutique but an obvious front for black market chattel. I stepped wisely aside as they swooped in to indict or acquit an entire fleet of size 2s.
I’ve never been there for a returns session, but I’d imagine it has a corresponding urgency. The only thing I’ve ever returned was when I was nine, and supervised by my mother—a Christmas gift that was too small, and needed to be upgraded to be properly and gratefully displayed whenever that relative would next be encountered. What about you? Do you have any qualms about returning stuff you buy? Or any good stories if you’ve been the one behind the counter…
I am marrying into a family where it’s publicly known that a present that doesn’t get an excited reaction will be returned…receipts are even kept just in case. I have only returned items that I haven’t tried on and they were either too small or too big and I returned them for the same item, only a different size. I have never returned anything given to me or anything that i bought because i liked it that day and never used/wore it.
posted by Melanie on 10-22-2007 at 12:01 pm
I’m lazy when it comes to returns and after a few months it usually becomes a donation to somewhere. My sister-in-law, however, seems to have a no holds barred policy when it comes to returns. I’ve known her to buy outfits for a special event and then return them. She bought a heavy duty sweeper once to clean up after they had some remodeling done and then cleaned it and returned it. But the topper was when she and my brother bought a $500 luggage set, went to Hawaii for two weeks and then she returned it when they got home!!
posted by Steph on 10-22-2007 at 12:10 pm
I worked at a neighborhood drug store when I was in high school, and as a part of the “community” we had a very liberal return policy. While I understood the owners’ mindset on this issue, I also learned that there are times when the customer is, in fact, wrong. Case in point: Wealthy older woman (Expensive clothing, “done” to perfection, with fingers full of large-ish diamonds) comes to the store bearing a tube of Revlon lipstick of a color that had been discontinued before I started working there some two years previously. (I stocked the make-up section and had never seen this particular lipstick before.) The lipstick was about 3/4″ long, flat at the top and melted at the sides. The woman LOUDLY insisted–in spite of all the evidence to the contrary–that she had “just purchased” the lipstick and that it was “defective.” The owners refunded her money. To this day, I hate it when a bully wins.
posted by Janet on 10-22-2007 at 12:11 pm
When I use to work in jewlery I had a little old lady buy a very thick braclet that she wanted to give away as a charm braclet. I told her it wouldnt work but she insisted it would be fine… so she bought it and I told her our return and exchange policy and circled it on the back of the recepit because I knew she would be back.
Sure enough, six months later (well past any return or exchange point) she came back to return it saying it didnt work. I told her she couldnt get her money back and pointed out that I even circled the return period.
She screamed at me then threw it at my head and told me to keep it. Ten minutes later she stormed back and demanded I give it back.
posted by Diane on 10-22-2007 at 12:12 pm
My fam tends to give handmade gifts, so no returns possible there. But I definitely return stuff that I’ve bought for myself pretty often. I shop online regularly — buy two tablecloths, see which one works best, return the second one. Buy two or three dresses, see which ones works the best for that special date, and return the rest. I’ve also been known to breeze through Marshalls, grab everything that strikes me, then do a modeling session in with the current contents of my closet to see which of the newbies coordinate with the stuff I already own.
Personally, I’d much rather see someone return a gift for something they’ll really use than keep it and have it be wasted. I bought my boyfriend a pretty expensive CD player/alarm clock for Christmas last year, and he realized it wouldn’t tune in his favorite radio station clearly, so he went back to his old one. The new one is sitting in the corner of his room. I’d much rather know that he returned it and got something he would actually use than to see it sitting there everytime I go over there.
posted by Kristen on 10-22-2007 at 12:13 pm
You know, I don’t mind returning stuff. The only thing I feel bad about is inconveniencing the store clerks.
A few years ago I had a lot of free time and a job that paid really well so I would go to the mall almost every day and buy some really expensive clothing item. I would bring the item home and wear it around the house with the tags on, then I would return it the next day. It sounds totally lame and probably sort of against the rules, but I loved knowing that I had this really expensive item, but I didn’t need it afterall.
Now that I have no free time and a job that pays lousy, I rarely buy anything that isn’t grocery related. If I do, it is a special item that I wear/use all the time.
posted by Lizzy on 10-22-2007 at 12:16 pm
I often buy items for the rest of my family or some friends because I think it might fit them or it is the wierd item they’ve been looking for for months. I return about half of these things. I even have a name for the returning process — unshopping. “Where are you going today?” “Oh, I’m going unshopping. Mike couldn’t wear those clothes.”
posted by Larriann on 10-22-2007 at 12:16 pm
When I was in college, I worked at the shoe department at JC Penney. It was amazing how many people would come in (at least one a week) with a pair of shoes that hadn’t been available for purchase in over a year, and with the soles literally worn down smooth, asking for a refund because the shoes wore out. They’d always claim they’d bought them two weeks ago at a different JC Penney, at full price. The first few times, the upper management made us do the exchange. Then, somehow, that management’s management got wind of it, and the exchange policy was updated.
On the flip side, stores like Toys-R-Us won’t return (or even exchange) gifts without the receipt, and so we had a lot of leftover stuff that we couldn’t use when our youngest daughter was born. Whatever happened to common sense, anyway?
posted by Jena on 10-22-2007 at 12:27 pm
I definitely return items I’ve purchased for myself, generally because the glow cast by the benevolent dressing room mirror gives me a false sense of perfection that’s immediately shattered upon viewing in my own, decidedly more malevolent, mirror.
But I don’t return gifts. That’s not to say that I actually wear everything I’ve been gifted, I simply can’t return anything from a loved one.
posted by natlynn on 10-22-2007 at 12:32 pm
my ex had ocd and was bi-polar. he loved to buy, but then he’d find one microscopic flaw in an item and return it. he frequented one major discount store near our house. my daughter’s best friend’s sister worked there. the clerks bet on how long it would be before he returned the most recently purchased item.
three years ago, he was on a manic and bought a new car. we neither needed nor could afford it. i had to go to the dealer, explain his mental illnesses and cry my eyes out. they took the car back, but kept $300 of the downpayment for processing fees.
i won’t shop at that local discount store any longer. it’s too humiliating.
two years ago,
posted by richel on 10-22-2007 at 12:50 pm
I have a very busy life so I rarely find myself returning things… even some defective items get procrastinated into permanent ownership.
However, one of my best friends is a return diva. She buys and returns items at a fever pitch. I once bought her a gift card for $200 at a discount store, and she said “Oh thank you so much, this will last me all year.”
posted by Scott on 10-22-2007 at 1:25 pm
i’ve return things that don’t fit, and only if i’ve remembered to hang on to the receipt. i work in retail and have seen my share of inconsiderate shoppers who demand refunds long after the policy time or with the item in ratty condition. while I was working in a pet store once, a guy came in with an aquarium ornament, at least a year old and faded (we didn’t even stock it anymore) and wanted to get a replacement. infuriating! the store had a very leniant return policy so they did something for him anyway, but still, how ridiculous. some people…
posted by Jennifer on 10-22-2007 at 1:32 pm
When I lived in Washington DC the rules of return were amazing because the privilege of return was soooo abused. People would by china, silver, crystal and linens for a party and then return them–often not even cleaned. Tuxedos, formal gowns and cocktail dresses were bought and used the same way. Stores fought back with signs strictly excluding the return of these items and stuck to their guns.
posted by Alice on 10-22-2007 at 1:43 pm
When I lived in Washington DC the rules of return were amazing because the privilege of return was soooo abused. People would buy china, silver, crystal and linens for a party and then return them–often not even cleaned. Tuxedos, formal gowns and cocktail dresses were bought and used the same way. Stores fought back with signs strictly excluding the return of these items and stuck to their guns.
posted by Alice on 10-22-2007 at 1:44 pm
It helps to discourage people from buying you clothes. If they really want to help my fashion sense, I’d rather them bring me along than try to ’surprise’ me with something that may very well end up back the store a day later.
posted by Katherine on 10-22-2007 at 2:32 pm
I worked in high school for a awesome clothing retail shop. One day, bikers came in with their chicks to buy some clothes. Scarry was not the word. The chicks were trying on cloths with the curtain open and walking around naked. I just layed low and let them do their deal. They brought all the stuff back the next day and it was all destroyed. I was working by myself. I called my boss and was able to give them their money back and we just dumped the tattered articles in the trash. Years later, I for a lady that never work the same thing twice. She work it once owned a tag gun and returned the clothes after she wore them…ick!!! There is a world full on interesting people. :O)
posted by Kim on 10-22-2007 at 2:32 pm
I have to admit taking advantage of the return policies at places like LL Bean and Lands End. They have lifetime guarantees, so if it EVER wears our or you aren’t happy with it, they’ll take it back. So I’ve sent stuff back long after the normal statute of limitations on that stuff. But normally, I’ll only return things within the time limit, unused, with the receipt.
Although I was ticked when Best Buy changed their return policy about a year ago. I realized that the iPod radio transmitter thing that I bought didn’t work for the version of iPod I have, so I tried to take it back and exchange it (within the time limit, brand new, still in the original packaging) and they wouldn’t take it back without a receipt. I didn’t even want a refund! Just an exchange! Now, I’m pretty religious about saving receipts.
posted by Kristen on 10-22-2007 at 2:39 pm
I never returned things growing up. Then, I married into my husband’s family where they return everything that they don’t like. They really prefer people enjoying gifts rather than feeling obligated by them.
So, now I return things. It’s great–I also moved on to the getting rid of things that I don’t like. (So many gifts that became obligations–when I got rid of them, it was like my stuff was a thoughtful reflection of me, rather than a collection of things I felt like I had to keep.)
Anyway, returning things is no fun. I generally feel bad about it, but the bad feeling dissipates and space is no longer wasted by things that you don’t want, need, or use. I’ve never really had a problem returning things. (Note: always read the return policy when you get something. If you’re going to return it, do it right away.)
I hate returning things via mail order, so I tend to order things that I’m less likely to return.
posted by Amanda on 10-22-2007 at 3:05 pm
I return–when I have a good reason. I’ve worked retail (including grocery stores and high end department stores) so I’ve seen my fair share of egregious use of the return policy. But when something doesn’t fit, falls apart quickly, or was a gift I don’t like, I have no problem returning. Especially when shopping online. I’m also very good about returning shoes, since they tend to be pricey. If they don’t feel right after a few days of wearing around the house, back they go.
Whole Foods Market has a very VERY liberal return policy. I’ve worked there. Did your cilantro get wilted too quickly? didn’t like the flavor of the bottle of juice that cost $7, even though you drank all of it? did you leave the item you want to return at home? forget your reciept? No problem! Here’s a store credit!
posted by Jen on 10-22-2007 at 3:31 pm
My mom and I are quite possibly the most indecisive shoppers in the state of Texas. Last year, before I went away to college, we would frequently go shopping together, so much that my dad started referring to us as Paris and Kathy Hilton. My mom and I would buy a fair amount of stuff, and then on our next shopping trip return most, if not all, of the items. Nothing was ever worn or used, and the returns were always legitimate. I guess we just liked buying things for the heck of it. Since I’ve been away at college, I’ve tried going to the mall here without my mom, but it’s really just no fun without her. Being away from home is so lame…
posted by Sandy on 10-22-2007 at 3:50 pm
Working within the department that oversees the customer service end of our store, I’ve seen (and dealt with) many incredible circumstances involving the return of certain products. I’ve quite a few stories, too long for a comment, that i’ve amassed over time. Travel to willitblend.com and watch the clip where the camcorder is blended, be sure to also watch part 2: The Return. It is not something that would necessarily surprise me if encountered in my own store.
posted by the st00v on 10-22-2007 at 5:15 pm
I work as a buyer for a department store and I always hear interesting stories about customers wanting to return things… We have a pretty liberal return policy (pretty much the “the customer is always right” philosophy… except when it comes to lingerie and underwear because, let´s face it, that´s just gross). One of the best ones I heard was a lady who returned a VERY pricey pair of boots because they got scuffed when she went horse-back riding! Not only was the leather scratched, there was a ripe horse-doody smell that just would not wash off. Obviously, the returned boots went into the trash…
posted by GTT on 10-22-2007 at 5:18 pm
these are great! i’m a notorious returner and have 100s of stories i could share. but better than mine, is one i heard from a banana republic employee who told me about a guy who bought a suit, wore it for a full year, returned it (banana gave him store credit because he kept the receipt all those months), and then bought the suit again, one week later, when it was marked 80% off!
posted by David on 10-22-2007 at 5:29 pm
i’m usually pretty good about the return thing. i have returned one christmas present from my parents because i asked for a neil young cd and ended up with a neil diamond cd (they insisted they sounded similar enough.
being really not fond of neil diamond i took it back and swapped it.
i also had to recently send a dvd back to amazon because when i took it out of the box it would skip and jam on my player. i checked that it was the disk and not the player and swapped it.
i’ve also returned rotten food to the grocery store, but never longer than a couple of hours after i purchased it.
because longer than that and it’s just gross.
posted by Sue on 10-22-2007 at 5:39 pm
Such interesting posts! Let’s see… I tried to return a pair of boots to Nine West once, after 6 months of wear, because I honestly thought they were meant to last for much longer. An interesting contrast is that I later bought a pair of boots in Brazil (Rio de Janeiro) that lasted a solid 3 years. I had the soles replaced once or twice; it was clear that the Brazilian boots were built to last (and be repaired!!) and the Nine West boots were meant to be destroyed by normal wear and tear before a year had passed. They were impossible to repair!!
So I’ve learned my lesson and now am a much better educated consumer.
posted by Sadia on 10-22-2007 at 7:48 pm
My husband’s uncle tried to return a TV to Costco that he had bought there SEVEN YEARS earlier. He was ready to get a flat screen and didn’t want the old one anymore. The most incredible part of the story is that they took it back! And really he spends so much money there that it was probably worth it to the store, but we were appalled that he would even try.
posted by Lauren on 10-22-2007 at 9:03 pm
Huh. I never realized so many people returned gifts. A friend once bought me the dvd of The Count of Monte Cristo–She adored it; I’d never seen it and never cared to. I had my mom exchange it for a $20 Wal Mart gift card but felt awful about it whenever I remember. I still feel bad!!
posted by Courtney on 10-22-2007 at 11:13 pm
I worked at the “W” store as a cashier and was wheeling returns back one night. I smelled something weird. I couldn’t figure out where it was coming from until the crockpot box that was in the cart moved and I heard a slosh. The person had returned a crockpot full of ROTTEN PEA SOUP!!!!!!!!!!!!! I leave you with that.
posted by MsChickie on 10-22-2007 at 11:28 pm
I spent one Christmas season working at Macy’s. The after-Christmas returns were brutal. The best was the woman who returned an Oral B Sonic Toothbrush because “it just stopped working”. The toothbrush had obviously been used (still toothpaste on the brushhead). She wanted a replacment, not a refund, so I made the exchange. Three months later, the same woman returns, with same complaint. This time, my manager checked the toothbrush - it was perfectly fine, except the brushhead was worn out. Rather than spend the money for a replacement brushhead, she would just return the tootbrush for a new one every 3 months!
posted by Audrey on 10-23-2007 at 6:44 am
My mom has always been an “overshopper.” She tends to buy twice as many Christmas gifts as she needs; she’ll buy clothes she has no intention of keeping. She also cannot be bothered to return things herself. When I was in college, I would inevitably spend half of any break making trips to the mall to return things for her. It was actually pretty embarrassing, because I would make multiple trips to the same store within a few days to return hundreds of dollars worth of clothes that had just been sitting around for months.
My college roommate worked as seasonal help one Christmas for Eddie Bauer. She was getting married a few months later, and wanted some nice bedding for herself and her fiance, so she bought a pretty expensive set with her employee discount (Eddie Bauer sold sheets and duvet covers at the time).
She was well-liked by the EB manager and had good sales numbers, so she expected to be offered a year-round position. She wasn’t. Five months later, her fiance broke off their engagement.
So, she went up to her bedroom, stripped the bed, stuck the dirty bedding into the plastic bags it originally came in, and returned the lot. I have no idea how long it had been since she had washed her sheets, but the fact that she still had the original packaging a good five months after she bought the sheets is pretty good testimony to her housekeeping skills. I don’t remember her actually doing laundry while we lived together.
posted by Amanda on 10-23-2007 at 8:27 am