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During my year of living biblically, I made several pilgrimages across America. I wanted to embed myself in various communities that live the Bible literally in their own way – from Hasidic Jews to evangelical Christians. I also invited religious people to my house. I think I’m the only person in American history to out-Bible talk a Jehovah’s Witness. After about three hours, he looked at his watch and said, “I gotta go.”
One of my first trips was to Amish country in Lancaster County. My wife and I drove down from New York (I’m proud to say that I have absolutely no urge to make a double entendre when we passed Intercourse, Pennsylvania, which I see as a great moral victory).
To be biblically honest, I was a little leery of going to Amish country - the Amish have been a go-to religious punchline for so long, sort of the Carrot Top or Jazzercise of American spirituality, and I didn’t want to fall into that trap. I didn’t want to seem like I was mocking them.
In the end, I’m glad I went. I learned a huge amount and got to experience the beauty of the Amish culture. Plus, I got to hear an Amish joke told by an actual Amish person, which was a pleasant surprise.
Here are five Amish facts I learned during my year:
- If you browse websites about the Amish, you’ll often see a lot of pictures of the backs of their heads. The Amish follow strictly the second commandment – you shall not make graven images. And they are also concerned with appearing vain. So they don’t like their faces photographed. They compromise by showing the back of their heads.
- Amish have beards in accordance with Leviticus, which forbids the shaving of the corners of your beard. But they do shave their moustaches. The moustache was thought to have military associations by the early Amish, who came over from Switzerland in the 18th century.
- The Amish do tell Amish jokes. My wife and I stayed at an Amish man’s house, and he told us one. (Note: Please lower your expectations. The Amish are working with some pretty tight constraints here). Okay, here goes:
The joke and more Amish facts after the jump…
Q: What happened when the Mennonite man married the Amish woman?
A: She drove him buggy.”
- The Amish perform a foot-washing ritual, in accordance with the New Testament’s John 13:5, which says “If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example…”
- Amish sports are the quietest sports in the world. Here’s what my wife and I saw as we were leaving Amish country.
“I spot a cluster of about 30 buggies. We pull over to see what’s happening. We have stumbled onto an Amish baseball game. Many discourage competitive sports. But here are 18 Amish teenage boys, their sleeves rolled up, their shirts and suspenders dark with sweat. Julie and I watch for a long time. These kids are good, but something is off about the game. I realize after a few minutes what it is: This is the quietest baseball game I’ve ever seen. No trash talk. No cheering from the parents in the stands. Near silence, except for the occasional crack of the bat. It is eerie and peaceful and beautiful.”
PS Thanks for all the great comments on my first post. You make me commit the sin of pride!
>>Click here to purchase AJ’s new book The Year of Living Bibilically: One Man’s Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible today.
I’m glad to see your postings here as well as the article in mental_floss magazine. I heard a promo for an interview with you on NPR a couple of weeks ago, and was disappointed that I reached my destination and had to leave my car (and radio) before they played it. This sounds like it was a very interesting project.
posted by Kristen on 10-24-2007 at 11:59 am
Being a Jehovah’s Witness, I find it funny you out talked one.. as I know first hand what it’s like to find somebody who actually knows something or is even interested in the bible and I know that discussions can get lengthy and rather exhausting mentally.
Something you might think about: when we go out in the ministry, the group is usually of 3-5 (maybe more, maybe less), so you can’t stay forever talking with one person, when you may have several people waiting in the car on you.
Keep up the good work!
Terrance
posted by Terrance on 10-24-2007 at 12:25 pm
I grew up in Lancaster, PA. You think driving through Intercourse was tough, you must have missed the mileage sign for Intercourse, Bird in Hand, and Blue Ball.
Lancaster has a decent population of former Amish since they have to choose the faith and lifestyle at some point in their teens. Not everybody comes back.
Please also note that there are Old Order and New Order Amish. The Old Order being more strict. They go so far as to still use hook and eyes on their pants instead of a zipper. Dangerous!
posted by Yerg on 10-24-2007 at 12:25 pm
Not sure about any other religions out there, but Seventh-Day Adventists also practice foot-washing.
posted by Scott A. on 10-24-2007 at 2:32 pm
Just ordered your book…can’t wait to read it! I’ve been cracking up reading the excerpts here and the reviews for it online, hopefully it will prove to be an excellent choice for my Thanksgiving break read :)
You’ve inspired me to think about spending a year doing all the things that the bible ‘forbids’…now that would be entertaining!
I don’t know if I could murder someone though….or commit adultery…but the rest would be fun!
posted by Erica on 10-25-2007 at 6:19 am
I work at a bookstore, so I have a pre-release copy of your book. Great stuff!
posted by Zach on 10-25-2007 at 11:01 am
Great post. I especially love the bit about the baseball games. My extended family is Amish, so I grew up playing a lot of baseball with them. They LOVE baseball, and you’re right…it’s typically played in silence. At the reunions, the games were played all day. Baseball > Prayer > Lunch > Yodeling > Baseball.
My Amish cousins taught me all kinds of fun stuff, including how to cut the head of a chicken so the body will run around (the trick is to get the blade hot so it cauterizes the arteries). Good times, good times…
posted by Chad on 10-25-2007 at 12:11 pm
Yeah, I doubt the foot-washing is all that unusual. I’m Baptist and know of such ceremonies with members of my church.
posted by Kevin on 11-6-2007 at 7:40 am
I clicked on the link about karoke but it redirected me this article. Little help?
But since I’m here…I also loved your article. I don’t know what your talking about, I couldnt stop laughing at that joke!
posted by Pamela on 11-6-2007 at 5:30 pm
Am currently halfway through the book, and loving it. Considering my mother-in-law (an Episcopalian minster) has been eyeing it hungrily, I should probably hurry and finish it.
posted by Stephanie on 11-7-2007 at 8:11 am
Your post was very cool and I would like to read your book. I am bogged down with reading and work presently, but it definitely is one I will put on my list.
posted by Wreckless on 11-8-2007 at 8:56 am
It is nice to see someone speak highly of the Amish. Iliv in Northern Indiana, and we have a great deal of them here as well. I have grown up wih them and have problems with the ‘English’ (non-amish) who put them down and say they should stay off the roads and go back where they belong! I guess it is true, is some people don’t understand something, they either hate it or are afraid of it. Thank you, I will share this a will be looking for your book!
PS/ we have some old order that use straight pins on their shirts and dresses!!!!!!
posted by Marla on 11-16-2007 at 8:11 am
Good one! I like to see accurate stuff about the Amish on the web- it is not so easy to find, really. And, the Amish vary hugely from state to state- nevermind the differences between New Order and Old Order. I have lots of (Old Order) Amish family although I am no longer Amish myself. btw- in my family, baseball games are popular and anything but polite or quiet! My uncle tells Amish jokes; his favorite- A man went in for brain-replacement surgery, but found out that most of the brains were out of his price range. The only one he could afford was from someone who’d had a very low iq. When the man woke up after surgery, he sat up in bed and said ‘Wo bin ich?’- only not in high German but in Midwest Amish speak… Ok- does that count? The only person I’ve ever heard tell it is Amish as can be and laughs uproarously every single time…
I think, by and large, the Amish defy most stereotypes- eventually. Where my family lives, they have solar panels on the roofs and solar generated electric appliances and lamps… and there are some very dark sides to them… as there are in every society.
posted by ann on 11-17-2007 at 10:50 am
ann: Am I reading it wrong? I don´t get the joke! I´ve even tried saying it out loud but nothing… Clue?
posted by GTT on 11-19-2007 at 5:13 pm
GTT–let me explain the joke. The man with the new low IQ brain woke up and said “Wo bin ich?” which means “Where am I?” in German. But he didn’t say it with “proper” high German accent. Instead he used Midwest Amish dialect. Does that make sense? I liked the joke, myself.
posted by Robin on 11-24-2007 at 2:42 pm
why haven’t any Amish people commented yet?
hmmmmmmmmm
posted by aaron on 12-5-2007 at 9:04 pm
sorry bad joke
posted by aaron on 12-5-2007 at 9:04 pm
yea… bad joke. sorry ann.
posted by holly on 12-28-2007 at 5:56 am
speaking about the Amish, what do gay amish do, where do they meet other gays?
posted by randi on 1-17-2008 at 7:11 pm
I am sure that if there are any gay Amish they keep it well hidden, or else they just leave the faith. I doubt those that stay really have a chance to practise the lifestyle. They are already married off to someone of the opposite gender at a young age. They won’t get it on much then.
posted by Christine on 1-30-2008 at 5:57 pm
the amish I know and have shared food with are hospitable,kind people. they are productive and reserved. they supply much food to the markets, vegetables, watermelons, livestock. they are independent and a good example for those talking about sustainable development, permaculture. they are not affected by the so called conveniences of the world such as owning televisions, radios, vehicles, fancy homes that keep much of our people in poverty. since this is a consumer world that is propagated by multinationals.
posted by orlando on 2-12-2008 at 11:59 am
I used to be amish and trust me of the 2 or so people that i know of ever being gay had to leave the amish long before everybody in the community new about it and to this day they get treated like crap if they try to visit old friends
posted by Simon on 2-19-2008 at 10:12 pm
Quick joke:
What goes clop clop clop BANG clop clop clop
An Amish driveby
posted by allen on 3-10-2008 at 9:57 am
It’s great to see some religious people walking it like they’re talking it.
The Amish at least are good examples of living by the creed they lay down, although personally I think their type of religious observance is way over the top and unnecessary.
If Jesus was the son of God surely he could see into the future when cars and cameras would be normal, non-vainglorious items.
Then again, all religions are fairly silly.
posted by Paul on 3-12-2008 at 3:11 pm
Dear AJ:
I live in Delaware, very near Lancaster.
Today is Good Friday so my husband and I decided to take a ride up through PA to Lancaster. It’s a sunny day, but pretty windy. We hit a few outlets (Lancaster is the outlet capital around here)and on our way home - taking back roads my husbands new GPS was giving us - my husband realized we hadn’t seen a buggy. I began to look seriously at the Amish farms we were passing (almost all were) and also realized there were no vehicles in their driveways, no one was working in the fields - some already plowed, no children playing, no Amish laundry on the lines and not one person in the yards.
We saw only cows, horses and alpaca. Not even the chickens were out. I began to wonder if because it is Good Friday that to the Amish this was a day of prayer or observance.
I’m surfing the net and came across your site so I thought I’d let you know about this strange day. It was almost eerie, driving past homes with the green shutters pulled all the way down and not a soul to be seen. Very strange.
Also, just and FYI question. Have you taken the train up there that goes from Intercourse to Paradise?
I look forward to reading your book.
Linda
posted by Linda on 3-21-2008 at 3:09 pm
Well-uh, thanks for stirring up old memories of the uniqueness within Lancaster County. The Amish remain a wonderment to me. My experience with them makes me think of the tortoise and the hare - slow, by today’s industrialzed standards, but steady, - they get the job done and they do it well, at that… If every you’ve been driving behind a buggy makin’ its way down the road, maybe you, too, have experienced that realization that slowing down and going “with the flow” is occasionaaly good for the soul. Another somewhat-related anecdote or two: As I remember, there was something about Mennonite “designated drivers”, that would chauffeur the Amish (in the car of the Mennonite, of course)on occasion - can anyone elaborate on this? Also, Mennonite cars used to be all black, custom-painted black bumpers included. I’m curious to know what changes have occurred in the 16 years I’ve been away… I look forward to reading this book of yours.
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posted by Jim Norton on 5-13-2008 at 12:46 pm