mental_floss magazine
SUBSCRIBE >
GIFT SUBSCRIPTIONS >
DIGITAL SUBSCRIPTIONS >
subscriber services >
I’m feeling lazy today. Thought I’d present the following hypothesis, excerpted almost word-for-word from my novel Behind Everyman.
Hypothesis: A person’s standing at a firm is inversely proportional to the manner in which he/she types his/her internal e-mail and the amount of words employed.
For instance, here’s an e-mail the average employee (Everyman)might write to a cohort:
Good morning gentlemen,
After reading over your proposal for a new recurring conference call on Monday mornings with IT, I can assure you that our team is ready to give the green light so long as you loop back with Carl Tomkins.
Many thanks in advance,
EM
And now, the same e-mail written by a Vice President:
Gentlemen,
Re: new recurring conference call on Monday mornings with IT—our team is ready to give the green light so long as you loop back with Tomkins.
Thanks,
VP
And the same e-mail by a Senior Vice President:
Re: conference call with IT—ready to give green light so long as you loop back with Tomkins.
SVP
And, lastly, the Managing Director’s e-mail:
fine Just be sure to loop back with Carl
Note how the Managing Director’s sentences have no regard for punctuation, do away with all salutations completely and rarely take up more than one line.
When I was on book tour in support of the novel, a few people commented in support of my hypothesis. What’s been your experience?
Oh my goodness! This is exactly what my editor and I were talking about today! I’m in full support of your null hypothesis!
posted by Enette on 11-1-2007 at 9:47 am
I agree with you 100%!!!!!
posted by Erin on 11-1-2007 at 9:56 am
Oh man, this is so true!
Upper management cannot be bothered with silly things like politeness and grammar. They’ve got businesses to run!
posted by Kelly on 11-1-2007 at 10:10 am
I completely agree with your hypothesis! Here is mny addendum to it:
The number of misspelled words in an email is directly proportional to the rank of the sender.
posted by JaneM on 11-1-2007 at 10:12 am
I JUST finished sending an e-mail out, and as the low man on the totem pole, it was wordy and well-punctuated.
I also find the last comment to be true…I work in a middle school and our principal’s spelling in e-mails is atrocious.
Do you think it’s because we feel as the low-ranking members that we need to prove ourselves? Or does power just make one grammatically lazy? Or is the one comment true…are people who rank higher just too busy to worry about such things? That strikes me as implausible…
posted by Becky T. on 11-1-2007 at 10:16 am
Our self-important marketing “manager” send innumerable multi-page emails with instructions how to follow the instructions for the instructions that are attached…and she’s the one that calls right after she sends yet another mass email to ask “did you get my email?” - and invariably, there’s a second almost identical email following the first with some random insignificant change from the first with an explanation of what the change was……
in other words, you rocked it, dude.
posted by Heidi on 11-1-2007 at 10:21 am
Clearly I need to spend less time typing gramatically correct emails and more time making the big bucks.
posted by Ashley on 11-1-2007 at 10:30 am
Looks good. Go with it.
posted by Anthony on 11-1-2007 at 10:35 am
Absolutely true! One of my bosses abbreviates nearly every word, leaving me puzzled as to what “dsc” and “tmr” could possibly mean. He also tends to abbreviate words that that would take very little effort to type accurately, like “notes”. And I know, for a fact, that he’s not all that freakin’ busy.
posted by natlynn on 11-1-2007 at 10:44 am
Let me ask you this: Is the fact that the higher up in a company you go, generally the fewer people you need to deal with directly, and therefore, being on better terms with them, tend to be less informal with them, a factor that should be taken into account?
posted by Tabitha on 11-1-2007 at 10:46 am
I see one gliche in your hypothesis - the blackberry. Or any email on cell phone application. Anyone who answers emails from a phone send the simpliest emails. Many don’t look like emails they look like chat or text messages.
I think the trend of communications lacking grammer, spelling, sentence structure, complete thoughts and words is going to get exponentially worse due to texting,chatting, and the internet appliance cell phones.
posted by tim on 11-1-2007 at 11:44 am
I used to work at a place where the VP would frequently respond to my emails with single word answers, especially if he was on his Blackberry (another reason to be considered).
posted by Bo on 11-1-2007 at 11:52 am
Agree completely.
That said, I try be as brief as possible normally, as most people don’t need the background and what you had for lunch. If they need more information, they’ll ask.
posted by Mandy on 11-1-2007 at 11:53 am
I agree Good job David
posted by Mr. Burns on 11-1-2007 at 11:57 am
You guys are right, the Blackberry probably is a factor. It makes sense that the higher-ups would have one and the lower-downs (is that a term?) wouldn’t. My principal doesn’t have that excuse though…she’s just a bad speller :). She probably does have the excuse of being busy.
posted by Becky T. on 11-1-2007 at 11:58 am
I agree with the theory. Here’s my theory on why this happens. Nearly everywhere I’ve worked, all upper management seems to do is attend meetings and read and answer emails. With the bulk volume of emails that need to be read and commented on/answered, they tend to develop an abrupt and blunt manner of reply.
That’s my verbose theory…
posted by Jason! on 11-1-2007 at 12:44 pm
I agree with the thoughts regarding the ‘crack-berry’ influencing the email responses BUT I saw this trend before these wireless devices became commonplace. They certainly added to the problem but I think it was there already.
posted by JaneM on 11-1-2007 at 1:02 pm
I have noticed the same thing with table manners. I used to be employed in an industry where business lunches and dinners were a daily occurance. The COO and CEO had the most disgusting table manners, with our EVPs and VPs being somewhat improper, and all the underlings with impeccable etiquette.
posted by Cassandra on 11-1-2007 at 1:32 pm
My manager is famous for replying to a lengthy email with one word: “Yes”, “No”, “Sure” and is a very intelligent and eloquently spoken person that I have high regard for. Conversely the CEO, that all dispise, trips all over faux pas when writing and circles the subjects line after line until his meaning is so obscured it borders on uninteligable.
posted by Beth on 11-1-2007 at 4:32 pm
So does this mean that in order to convince my bosses that I deserve a promotion, I should start writing more concisely and with poorer punctuation?
Oh… sorry…
to get ahead, shd i say less?
posted by Mary on 11-1-2007 at 5:44 pm
I agree this is the case 100%. It’s also probably why I haven’t advanced very far. I have minimal to zero respect for people (rank notwithstanding) who cannot be bothered to respond to relevant inquiries in a comprehensive, courteous, and grammatically correct manner. If the people in power treat their correspondence this way, how do you think they run/manage their organizations? Seat of the pants, cut corners whenever possible, with no thought employed, that’s how. They are not that busy, they are simply not that thoughtful. Many of these folks are simply “masters of the sound-bite”.
posted by careyarmst on 11-1-2007 at 6:38 pm
I agree as well. However, I think as the higher-ups become familiar with clients their emails get more casual. My boss is very casual with familiar accounts and very correct and punctual with newer ones. But it does seem like she spends most of her day responding to emails so I don’t blame her for being short. I find that putting smiley faces on the end of short and to the point emails helps a lot. :)
posted by Brandi on 11-2-2007 at 9:40 am
1. How did I not know you had a book out. I’m ordering it now.
2. This has made me wonder… if I shart writing less thoughtful, non-punctuated messages, I’ll move up the food chain more quickly. Which came first, the position or the email style?
posted by Trena on 11-5-2007 at 2:33 pm
excellent send it out
posted by chad on 12-3-2007 at 1:31 pm