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Due to overwhelming demand, “best comments ever” is back, and “evar” is now spelled “ever.” (”Evar!” is the excited Valley Girl pronunciation of “ever,” fwiw.) Yesterday we heard stories about people being sick, losing their sense of smell, sleepwalking and hoarding animals. Today we’ll start by examining two posts about cars, which tend to elicit very passionate responses from our readership!
THE POST: Who gets the parking space?
Having posed the question of whether you can save a parking spot by standing in it, we got vehement responses on both sides of the issue, as well as a few harrowing stories, like this one from commenter Karen:
I experienced this firsthand many years ago as my mom and I were searching for a parking spot during the crazy day-after-Thanksgiving shopping rush. The situation escalated into one like your second experience – only my mom did not actually hit her and this girl DID call the police. She faked a limp and the officer believed her and arrested my mom.
THE POST: This really happens
Not long ago, a friend of mine drove away from a pumping station without removing the nozzle from his tank — he wasn’t paying attention — and it snapped right off. Of course, the same thing had happened to several of our readers, with somewhat more dramatic results. Commenter Michael Wild:
Happened to me. Driving 1 ton Ford dually with trailer. Gas gauge unreliable and I was very worried about running out of diesel fuel. Pulled into truck stop and every pump but one had a bag over the pump handle. I pulled up to the one pump w/o a bag and put the nozzle in my tank. Nothing happened. I went inside and was informed that they had no diesel. I was pissed, got in the truck and drove off. Heard someone yelling, looked back and saw I was trailing the nozzle, hose and wiring from the pump. Owner was very upset and would not let me leave until I paid damages. At my suggestion he called law enforcement. They came, inspected my insurance papers and informed owner he was illegally restraining me. It was a matter for the insurance companies. Truck stop shut down and never reopened.
Pump jockey Petro Pierre was kind enough to provide some behind-the-scenes perspective:
Got my nickname “Petro” from the many years I spent pumping gas for a living. I saw this happen only a few times since it was a full service station. The first time was a really big deal! The customer asked for $20, which I starting pumping and left to finish on its own (since the pump was programmed for preset amounts at the push of a button, $20 being one of them). As I went to serve other customers, the fellow went inside to pay the cashier inside, who took his money once the pump automatically stopped at $20. It all happened very quickly, and he got back into his car and started driving away without waiting for me to remove the hose (obviously assuming it was already done). Unfortunately neither the handle nor the hose snapped off. It was a terrible sounds as the WHOLE FUEL PUMP came tearing off its foundation and crashed on its side, spewing a quick gusher of fuel before the shutoff valve kicked in. Needless to say, he didn’t get very far, but I think our station swallowed the tab on that one.
THE POST: The not-silent killer: noise pollution
Our readers made a lot of noise over this one, sparking a mini-competition to see who lived in the loudest place. It was a toss up between itsabecky:
i live in what appears to be the average suburban community. we have the standard noises: children playing in the street, occasional dogs barking, birds chirping, etc. then there are all of the non-traditional suburban noises. my neighbor accross the street has 6 cars and seems to wash at least one every day then has to dry them with his leaf blower. my house is conviently situated in the middle of 3 quarrys so we often hear them blasting and on occasion feel the house shake. when we first moved in there was a race track 2 miles from our house and on race days it sounded like we were living inside a beehive.
inside the house often sounds like a circus. 4 dogs, 4 laptops, 4 adults, a screaming 4 year old and a TV that is always on (at full volume to try and combat the other noise in the house) all create so much noise and havoc that i often find myself looking for any excuse to get out of the house (i go for a lot of drives to no where just listening to the hum of the tires on the road). i seem to be the only one in the house that is bothered by the noise. sometimes i feel like all the noise scrambles my brain.
… and commenter Marta, whose noise is more neighbor-driven:
I live in a duplex. The lady on the other side had 2 emotionally handicappped foster children that, up until a few weeks ago, screamed, slammed doors, threw dirt on our cars, and would put the same annoying hip-hop or pop song on repeat on the porch stereo, crank it up, then disappear for hours. On top of that she has a tiny dog that the kids put outside for hours and it spends those hours continuously barking. I didn’t think it was physically possible for a dog to bark for 5 hours straight without a rest.
THE POST: What’s worse than snakes on a plane?
Speaking of people’s tolerance for noise and annoyance, there was an outpouring of pure venom when I brought up the dilemma of mixing small children and large aircraft. There were plenty of arguments in favor of doping kids with Benadryl and Dimetapp, and several against. (Studies that have come out since this blog was posted indicate that it’s a bad idea to give young kids cold medicine, so I’m going to have to side with the no-doping camp, no matter how annoying the transatlantic toddler.) We all felt the pain of commenter Ben Hubbard:
Allow me to set the stage. I’m flying from KY on the very first available flight (5:00a), so I’m a bit sleepy. My screaming offspring have been left with their grandparents for a week of splendor, sure to receive all of their needs, wants and desires. I’m snoozin’ — just barely…you know that kind of awkward sleep that you get when the lady next to you smells funny because she did not bathe the night before and, in her slumber, she insists on trying to snuggle, not to mention the fact that the pressurized cabin gives me a headache from hell itself for which there is no known cure — and all seem right with the world. Suddenly, my sleep is broken by a pair of demons, er…I mean kids, who have both begun to frantically scream “WE’RE GOING TO DIE, OH NO, WE’RE GOING TO CRASH AND DIE”. I, with one leg still in sleepy land, look out the window to see water quickly approaching (if you have ever landed in San Francisco you have seen the same sight, I swear it feels like you are going to crash). The revelation of imminent death startles stinky lady and I to the point of scrambling to brace ourselves for the impact (no, not by hugging). Once we realized that these two monsters (around age 4-6) were just being “mini jerks” we felt a little relieved and a little embarrassed (again, no, not because we were hugging). This single flight has prompted me to vow to never, ever, bring my kids on a plane until they are of ample age to be polite to the other passengers. I suggest the same for the rest of the world.
THE POST: Are smart kids more likely to be depressed?
We got lots of fascinating (and heartbreaking) responses to this post, but rather than reposting any one of them here, I urge you to check them out as a whole. Great stuff, guys, and thanks so much for sharing.
Comments (4)
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One Story and some parking tales to add.
1. My Dad is the king of “stand in that parking spot while I get the car.” So, often, my sister and I get to play the petite (if chubby, in my case) blonde lady in distress about to be gunned over by some jerk in a 4×4. (To those who say parking is first come, first served: I saw the spot first, and already served myself to it. Go park somewhere else.) And here’s the deal, my Dad won’t back down. So basically, it’s a choice between a random unknown angry 4×4 man and known angry father.
Recently, my incredibly adorable 17 year old sis was holding a spot for my Dad at a trendy restaurant near the local mall. This is one of those restaurants that probabaly should have valet parking, but doesn’t. People often park their Mercedes/Lexuses/BMWs/Ferarris/Cadillacs etc along the curb and in the prime parking spots in a mad testosteronefest to prove who has the most flashy car, leaving the back spaces for those poor saps (like us) there on a special occasion driving Chevys. My Sis was standing in the spot, waiting for my Dad to pull around when a little old couple pulled in in an Escalade and litterally did not slow down as they rushed into the spot that she was holding, resulting in a scream-fest not between my sister and the couple, but between my Dad and my sister as she yelled at him for placing her in harms way and he yelled at her for causing him to lose both spots.
Meanwhile, Mr and Mrs Escalade slipped inside unhindered, and we spend the rest of what should have been an enjoyable night in a frosty family face-off. Thanks for ruining my birthday, Mr. Escalade man. XP
2. On the campus of the state university I attended school at, to say that parking is sparse is an understatement. Making things worse, all of the close parking on campus is faculty parking, and faculty parking is NEVER full (And, incidentally, there is nothing like the road rage experienced when you see a professor park in a student spot in the rare instance that the student spot is closer than the available faculty spaces. That’s just asking to be hit.) Because of the limited amount of student space there are several distinct parking techniques developed by the student populace:
1. Lot Stalking:
In order to perfect parking lot stalking, one must have at least one hour available before classes get out. Cruise around the parking lot until you see a student with keys heading to the lot, follow this person to their vehicle, immediately put on your turn signal to stop from being cut off by someone stalking your spot from the opposite side of the row. Your chances of a successful stalk drastically increase if you know what time the classes before your realease students.
Variations on Lot Stalking: Ride Sharing, Asking for Directions.
Downsides to Lot-Stalking: Spot-Stealers, Commuters who are just taking something out to their cars, and dorm dwellers who intentionally wander through the parking lots to confuse and annoy commuters because they hate being stalked by them (it’s a vicious cycle).
2. Ride Sharing
Pull up to the curb in the lot that you wish to park in with your windows down. Wait for someone with Keys to walk out of a building, pull up next to them and offer them a ride to their parking space if they’ll let you have their spot. Benefits are obvious, you give someone a hand with their crippling bookbag, and they give you the spot. Win-win.
Variations on Ride Sharing: Friend Swapping.
Downsides to Ride Sharing: Eventually, you get labeled as that creepy person bothering commuters. You are the only person dorm-dwellers hate more than lot-stalkers. Plus, remember those stranger-danger videos you watched in Kindergarden? Also, you’re still not immune to spot stealers.
3. Asking for Directions
As in Ride sharing above, you roll your window down and ask someone with keys if they’re leaving. If so, you then ask which row they are parked in. You then beat them to the row, turn on your blinker and wait for them to arrive.
Downsides: If someone lies to you, then you’ve basically just wasted a LOT of time. Plus you get almost creepy Ride-Share status, and those Spot stealers can still get you.
4. Spot Stealing
Look for a car with their blinker on as someone pulls out and pull up on the opposite side. As the car pulling out from the spot is still blocking the car with the blinker on, quickly inch up such that the blinker-car cannot angle themselves into the spot. Rush into the spot if you are angled in such a way that you can. If not, have a glaring contest with Blinker-car until someone backs down. After all, they don’t need to get their term paper in in the next five minutes.
Disadvantages: Bad Karma, Keyed cars, busted windows and ending up working on a group project with the guy whose spot you stole. Oops.
5. Visitor Faking
You can get away with visitor faking for free if you are going to be on campus either less than one hour or until after the lot closes that night. To visitor-fake take your parking decal off of your rear view mirror, then park in a visitor lot.
Downsides: If you misjudge the amount of time you’re spending on campus then you get stuck paying anywhere from $1 to $6 for parking, which really sucks if you only cary credit cards… Visitor lots also sometimes fill up.
6. Faculty faking
Remove your parking decal. Park in a faculty spot in a giant effort to say “I’m sticking it to the man!”
disadvantages: This only works once per quarter, as subsequent parking will earn you a $50 ticket per parking escapade. Also, taking your decal down is essential as, if you leave it up, you will get the $50 ticket with no warning at all.
7. Friend Swapping
If you are lucky enough to have a friend that leaves campus as you arrive, arrange to meet them at a predetermined location. Drive them to their car, take their spot.
Downsides: The odds of you having a friend that needs to leave campus exactly when you arrive are very, very slim.
posted by Ashley on 11-8-2007 at 11:40 am
As long as you’re giving in to overwhelming demand, I demand that you change it back to evAr if there’s a Volume 3. So there. Let’s see if that overwhelms you.
posted by srah on 11-8-2007 at 1:26 pm
What’s worse than snakes on a plane? My family on a plane. To set the stage…we lived in Beijing for a number of years and routinely made the trip back to the midwest US to visit family and friends. Both daughters (aged about 5 and 7 at the time) get serioulsy air sick unless dosed with Dramamine. For those who don’t know, the flight between Chicago and Beijing takes about 13 hours, but Dramamine requires a new dose every 6-8 hours.
So, we are flying back to Beijing, my wife, me, the two girls, and my mom who is coming to visit us for a couple of weeks. The flight is mercifully half empty and we spread out for the long flight, girls confiedently dosed with Dramamine. My watch alarm is set so I remember to give girls second dose in aout 7 hours.
Midflight Mom starts to feel ill (a hangover made worse by cabin air I suspect) and spreads out across some empty seats. My watch alarm goes off for the next dose of Dramamine but both girls are sounds asleep. I make the fatefull decision to let them sleep. Sometime thereafter the younger daughter wakes up having wet herself rather severely (who knows why). How severly? Imagine standing in the aisle of a 777 holding a seat cushion literally dripping urine into the aisle. The flight attendants are angles, bag up the offended cushion and steal a dry one from an empty seat. We change younger daughter into dry clothes.
Now older daughter wakes up vomiting violently from air sickness. In case you don’t know, once the vomiting starts you can’t dose Dramamine effectively. You just have to ride it out. So we spend the last 3-4 hours of the flight with older daughter wretching on a regular basis.
To recap, Mom is sick with a hangover (I suspect) lounging across multiple seats. Younger daughter has decided to test whether a seat cushion can truly be used as a floatation device by peeing all over it. Older daughter is quickly running through the entire supply of air sickness bags.
Just before landing a flight attendant walked back from first class with an unopened bottle of champaign. She presents it to me and my wife telling us “this is for you once you get home. You’ve earned it!”.
I’ll take snakes any day over that.
posted by Mad Chemist on 11-9-2007 at 8:17 am
I’ll take kids on a plane anyday than the ladies who feel the need to liberally bathe in extra pungent perfume. Come on ladies, have some compassion for those of us with asthma and perfume sensitivies and realize you’re going to be closed up in a tin can for hours. Liberally apply perfume at your destination.
posted by Helen on 11-9-2007 at 1:11 pm