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In case you missed it, we’re back with another caption contest! Our latest cartoon was illustrated by regular _floss reader, the multi-talented Robert Bonotto. To repeat the rules, the idea here is quite simple: Your job is to come up with a gag. Make us smile, make us laugh, extra-points for those who are able to drop some interesting fact or trivia along the way.
We’ll narrow down the entries to our favorites and then let YOU guys pick one winner. As with last time, when dropping your gag in the comments, also let us know which t-shirt you prefer in case your caption is selected the winner. (T-shirts can be found over in our store.)
read the full entry after the jump…
Because this is a holiday week, and many of us aren’t around, I thought I’d leave the contest open through Thanksgiving. So there’s still time to drop those captions in the comments.
Lastly, if you’re good with the pen and think you’d like to contribute a cartoon of your own for a future caption contest, or want to pitch me an idea for one, please leave a comment and I’ll be in touch with you via e-mail.
click cartoon to enlarge
Comments (268)
Comment
“Trust me, after the initial shock of realizing how goofy you look without a shell, au natural is the only way to go.”
Pluto, women’s small
posted by Jenny on 11-13-2007 at 8:15 pm
“Dude,I can totally tell it’s your first time at Burning Man.”
Pythagoras-L
posted by kim on 11-13-2007 at 8:20 pm
Al Gore keeps talking about global warming so my shells in the shop being converted with solar panels that will run my A/C unit.
posted by CropTillDawn on 11-13-2007 at 8:22 pm
“What’s the problem? I didn’t want tan lines!”
posted by Amy on 11-13-2007 at 8:27 pm
Women’s Rhesus t-shirt please!
posted by Amy on 11-13-2007 at 8:28 pm
First time on the beach? (Nude beach)
Pirate shirt (I go to East Carolina so I’ll take the gold Pirate shirt!)
posted by Derek on 11-13-2007 at 8:35 pm
“You were right. An adjustable rate mortgage was a bad idea.”
Pluto, men’s small.
posted by Stephanie on 11-13-2007 at 8:38 pm
“Oh, don’t worry about me, when winter comes I’ll cozy up with you. Looks like you have plenty of room in there, although I just might change the wallpaper to something more tasteful, maybe get a more sensible couch, move the TV to the other corner…”
Pluto, large
posted by Pete on 11-13-2007 at 8:39 pm
Then I heard her husband coming up the stairs, so I ran out of there without my shell! Took me 2 hours, but I made it!
Rhesus XL
posted by Terry on 11-13-2007 at 8:44 pm
It’s so hot you should just get the shell out of here.
Beethoven deaf jam please
posted by Jason on 11-13-2007 at 8:49 pm
Intelligent design my ass! Evolve, baby!!
posted by Wiley on 11-13-2007 at 8:49 pm
And then I saw these flying pigs, and it scared me right out of my shell
Mendel mens x large
posted by Chris S on 11-13-2007 at 9:08 pm
“What? Absinthe is Legal.”
posted by Greg on 11-13-2007 at 9:12 pm
It feels so good to donate to the annual holiday shell drive at work.
Pluto large, please
posted by Paul on 11-13-2007 at 9:22 pm
It’s called adaptation, Mr. “I’m just jealous of Gary’s awesome six-pack.”
posted by Jill on 11-13-2007 at 9:23 pm
Oh yeah, Pluto L
posted by Jill on 11-13-2007 at 9:24 pm
“Agoraphobia is something we can overcome together!”
posted by Ed on 11-13-2007 at 9:26 pm
Freud XXL, btw.
posted by Ed on 11-13-2007 at 9:26 pm
“Hey buddy, speed up! No need to carapace yourself.”
Physics medium
posted by Ben on 11-13-2007 at 9:28 pm
For the last time,
His name is Spencer Tunick.
Yes, we’re all doing it.
Are you in or not?
Beethoven XL please! Wohoo!
posted by Paul on 11-13-2007 at 9:30 pm
“So, the guy says, ‘You’re a terrapin!’ and I thought he said ‘Tear open!’”
XL Pluto please
posted by John on 11-13-2007 at 9:32 pm
“Welcome to the Galapagos. You’ll find we do things a little differently here.”
posted by Ryan on 11-13-2007 at 9:43 pm
I love the xy shirt M
posted by Ryan on 11-13-2007 at 9:46 pm
“…so I smoked it, and it tasted really funny, next thing i know i wake up like this..next to the hares wife!”
scurvy, large
posted by Michelle on 11-13-2007 at 9:57 pm
“You’re lucky it wasn’t a miscarriage.”
posted by Anton on 11-13-2007 at 10:01 pm
Achilles, medium. sorry.
posted by Anton on 11-13-2007 at 10:02 pm
“I’m tellin’ yah Sam, I feel the breeze now and can even scratch in places I never knew existed. Ooh Ooh, I can even get up when I’m on my back. Just watch…”
Scurvy - Large
posted by Tim on 11-13-2007 at 10:12 pm
Just call me the streak!
Women’s pi.
posted by SongLee on 11-13-2007 at 10:18 pm
Im a Rare Endangered Shelless Hatchling, you sick-o. geez…
posted by Thomasina on 11-13-2007 at 10:39 pm
archillies small
posted by Thomasina on 11-13-2007 at 10:40 pm
With the rising cost of gasoline, I decided to stop using Shell. Now I use BP - Bare Pleurodira.
women’s pi
posted by Lee on 11-13-2007 at 10:44 pm
I realize that your ’slow and steady’ pace may allow you to beat that hare in a race, but is wearing that heavy shell while doing it - and risking heat stroke - worth it?
Pavlov LONG-SLEEVED shirt - Size Small
posted by Amy on 11-13-2007 at 10:46 pm
“It’s not just cooler, now I’m a hare faster too!”
posted by Allan on 11-13-2007 at 10:50 pm
large rhesus
posted by Allan on 11-13-2007 at 10:52 pm
I know that you can beat that hare by being ’slow and steady’, but is it worth the risk of heatstroke from wearing that heavy shell while doing it?
Pavlov LONG-SLEEVED shirt, SMALL
posted by Amy on 11-13-2007 at 10:53 pm
“It’s getting waxed.”
large rhesus
posted by Allan on 11-13-2007 at 10:55 pm
“Sure I’m now vulnerable to harsh weather and hungry predators, but tan lines just made me look WEIRD!”
Pluto shirt, please. women’s medium.
posted by heather on 11-13-2007 at 11:07 pm
Hi!
I wrote both #32 and #35. If it is at all possible, please delete #32 (I like the wording of the other one better)
posted by Amy on 11-13-2007 at 11:20 pm
“So, I got this new job at American Apparel, and they said I needed to ’sex it up a bit’.”
posted by autumn on 11-13-2007 at 11:25 pm
“just two more operations and I’ll be the frog I was always meant to be.”
–Rhesus XL
posted by Erik on 11-13-2007 at 11:38 pm
“I think I have a gambling problem; I was playing strip poker and lost my house!”
(idioms - M)
posted by Mike D on 11-13-2007 at 11:44 pm
I like #33 best so far. #1, #10, and #11 are funny, too.
posted by Susan on 11-14-2007 at 12:30 am
WHAT? Like YOU’VE never been shell shocked before?!?!
There Ego’s again-small
posted by Megan Gotz on 11-14-2007 at 12:37 am
You knew we were going to go swimming in SF Bay…why’d you bring your shell? The oil will never come off.
Idiom, Large
posted by Austin on 11-14-2007 at 1:29 am
Okay, so I got a couple….
1. “A word of advice. Never hit on 12.”
2. “Can’t tell you what happened man. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.”
3. “This is what I get for doing bussiness with the Rushin’ mob.”
4. “The upside is, I now look 50 years younger.”
Men’s XL Freud
posted by jeffcomedy on 11-14-2007 at 1:30 am
Thought of one more…
4. “She said she liked it bareback.”
posted by jeffcomedy on 11-14-2007 at 1:32 am
“…well, I told him I saw two pigs flying and he says to me he says, ‘get the shell outta here!’”
posted by Andrew on 11-14-2007 at 6:16 am
men’s beethoven medium, sorry
posted by Andrew on 11-14-2007 at 6:16 am
“So. How is this shellpooling gonna work? pick me up at six?”
pluto, woman large please.
(ps: my favorite until now, #17)
posted by xixita on 11-14-2007 at 7:09 am
1. I don’t do so well in the crash tests but I rule in the roll over category.
2. Turns out I was depressed because I wasn’t getting enough sun.
3. It’s in the shop getting the AC recharged.
Pluto XXL
posted by Dusty on 11-14-2007 at 7:18 am
Got another one:
“I feel so much lighter since I converted to Buddhism… plus! I get to meet Richard Gere and Steven Segal! how cool is that!!!”
Still Pluto.
posted by xixita on 11-14-2007 at 7:22 am
I’m on fire today:
“I have to words for you: Pre Nup!”
I really want a Pluto shirt…
posted by xixita on 11-14-2007 at 7:29 am
Sorry… It’s “two” not “to”.
posted by xixita on 11-14-2007 at 7:32 am
Well, ever since I saw that therapist about my chelonaphobia, I think I’ve really been able to come out of my shell with you guys.
Scurvy large
posted by Jason on 11-14-2007 at 7:41 am
For Halloween, I’m a dinosaur!
rhesus
posted by Charles on 11-14-2007 at 8:00 am
Wardrobe malfunction …this kills my chances of landing the Super Bowl halftime show.
Marco Polo - Large
posted by Brian on 11-14-2007 at 8:00 am
“We just need one more shell, and we can probably reach that pumpkin roll up there. You in?”
Scurvy large
posted by Ellen on 11-14-2007 at 8:14 am
Duuuude, where’s my shell?
rhesus xxl
posted by qt3 14159 on 11-14-2007 at 8:22 am
So I was lying there on my back thinking “Do I really need this thing?”
Pavlov
posted by Vorpal on 11-14-2007 at 8:26 am
“I’m tellin’ ya, Bill, you wanna compete with the monkeys, you gotta be willing to think outside the shell.”
Pluto, small
posted by BuggyQ on 11-14-2007 at 8:36 am
“Trust me…..taking the shell off is no sweat”
posted by jen on 11-14-2007 at 8:38 am
Pluto Shirt Large
“Well, you were right. I was doing some research on Wikipedia and it turns out our shells are more like travel trailers than mobile homes.”
posted by Scptt on 11-14-2007 at 8:40 am
Ok, if the frog comment doesn’t win (#40), there’s something wrong with you people!
posted by Matt on 11-14-2007 at 8:51 am
You didn’t get the evolution memo, did you?
posted by Jonathan on 11-14-2007 at 9:02 am
Medium Pluto T
posted by Jonathan on 11-14-2007 at 9:02 am
yet another:
“so I was minding my own business and these guys came with a large bus and a buch of people and say: “we’ll rebuild your shell in one week!” so here I am, I’m so excited, I can hardly wait”
Pluto Large please.
posted by xixita on 11-14-2007 at 9:04 am
“Sea turtle?? Oh, I thought it was SEE turtle!”
Pluto!
posted by Kelly J on 11-14-2007 at 9:12 am
So she said “If you want the brazilian wax you’re gonna have to come on out.”
Ladies Pluto
posted by Lisa H on 11-14-2007 at 9:13 am
I’m being featured on Pimp My Ride!
posted by Matt on 11-14-2007 at 9:17 am
dangit…forgot. deaf jam/men’s medium
posted by Matt on 11-14-2007 at 9:21 am
Yeah, the exposure’s a bitch, but the gas milage is so much better.
Scurvy medium, please.
posted by Chia on 11-14-2007 at 9:23 am
“I’m out there, Jerry, and I’m loving every minute of it!”
Rhesus Large
posted by drummerchris on 11-14-2007 at 9:34 am
“Doc said the shell was restricting and bad for my sperm count.”
Rhesus Large
posted by drummerchris on 11-14-2007 at 9:36 am
Everyone said I needed to come out of my shell…
Pluto, 2X
posted by Paul on 11-14-2007 at 10:00 am
Now that you can buy 50 SPF, I figured, why not save myself the extra weight?
Rhesus small
posted by Lebetho on 11-14-2007 at 10:00 am
Relax! Everybody’s nervous their first time!
pluto small
posted by Katy on 11-14-2007 at 10:00 am
…and being cooler is the second advantage we enjoy here at the nudist colony…
Idioms…XL
posted by Tom on 11-14-2007 at 10:53 am
“The price of Shell oil is really making me sweat. ”
“You should get a hybrid.”
posted by Sara on 11-14-2007 at 10:58 am
Yep… I traded it for sex.
rhesus - medium
posted by TMo on 11-14-2007 at 11:00 am
Therapy has really helped me come out of my shell.
posted by Matt on 11-14-2007 at 11:07 am
“I’m claustrophobic…”
Pi, 2X
posted by Jason! on 11-14-2007 at 11:08 am
“I figured I need to make a difference, so I decided to boycott Shell.”
posted by Katherine on 11-14-2007 at 11:15 am
Oh, and Scurvy, women’s.
posted by Katherine on 11-14-2007 at 11:16 am
That’s the last time I’ll let Mario talk me into going to a Nintendo convention!
Physics Society - L
posted by John C. on 11-14-2007 at 11:19 am
“Global warming is the best excuse to run around naked!”
Karl Marx, 2x
And I would gladly lend my pen for future caption contest cartoons!
posted by Art F on 11-14-2007 at 11:29 am
“…and it’s really cut down on wind resistance!”
Lady Macbeth, small
posted by K. Hyson on 11-14-2007 at 11:37 am
Be on the lookout! Princess Toadstool got me! Don’t let her get you too!!!!
posted by Matt on 11-14-2007 at 11:38 am
I’ve switched to biodiesel, so, um, yeah, stay upwind.
posted by matt on 11-14-2007 at 11:40 am
“Got any spare change for a homeless turtle?”
men’s beethoven def jam large
posted by Phil on 11-14-2007 at 11:41 am
Run! Sally ran out of seashells, so she’s grabbing anything she can!!!!!
posted by Matt on 11-14-2007 at 11:42 am
You know, if you hold my shell up to your ear you can hear me fart.
posted by Matt on 11-14-2007 at 11:43 am
So what if it’s the first date! See, I’ll take mine off first…
Pluto, med.
posted by Steph on 11-14-2007 at 11:50 am
I’m not clever enough to do anything but like everyone else’s caption. Here are my favorites, in numerical order:
#2, #7, #20, #36, #37, #39, #40, #45 (Rushin’ mob and 50 years younger), #46, #71, #72.
posted by MoneyPenny on 11-14-2007 at 12:02 pm
I told you to leave that turtleneck off today, that it was going to get hot!
Pluto small
posted by Melinda on 11-14-2007 at 12:08 pm
Yah- it’s the latest greatest thing…. it’s called UNDERarmor. It keeps me cool in the summer and warm in the winter - and it got rid of that nasty draft.
posted by Candice on 11-14-2007 at 12:09 pm
Oh, dang… i forgot - idioms mens XL por favor!
posted by Candice on 11-14-2007 at 12:10 pm
“Got any spare change for a homeless turtle?”
men’s beethoven large
posted by Phil on 11-14-2007 at 12:25 pm
“I’m no naturist… it’s global warming!”
(Simple as 3.141592 T-shirt, medium size)
keep the good work,
jd.
posted by J-D on 11-14-2007 at 12:41 pm
“These street toughs, they robbed me.”
“Street toughs took my shell?”
“Yea it was very frightening. My life was in danger. You shouldve seen the way they talked to me.”
Giddyup!
Easter Island XL please.
posted by It's good to be the King on 11-14-2007 at 12:55 pm
“HA! Dude, I told you I could do it, Mr. It’s-Impossible-To-Get-Out-Of-Our-Shells! Huhuh? That’s right! I did it! Drinks are on YOU tonight! Sucker…”
posted by Nick on 11-14-2007 at 12:57 pm
pythagoras 2xl please
posted by Nick on 11-14-2007 at 12:58 pm
So I got the shell off and the rabbit never stood a chance.
Pluto XL
posted by Drew on 11-14-2007 at 1:19 pm
I’m sorry, Lawrence. I’m moving in with the hermit crab. At least he understands me.
posted by Caleb on 11-14-2007 at 1:27 pm
Lady Macbeth L
posted by Caleb on 11-14-2007 at 1:28 pm
“It’s times like these, Millie, that I’m not upset the court gave you my shell in the divorce proceedings.”
Pluto XL
posted by Steve F. on 11-14-2007 at 1:32 pm
Just as he was opening his mouth to explain his latest “great idea”, all Patty could think about was explaining THIS to her mother.
Freud Medium
posted by Christina on 11-14-2007 at 1:32 pm
“I’m auditioning for ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Splinter Shell,’ and they say there may be a nude scene. I objected at first, but hey, work is work.”
Pi men’s XL
posted by Sillstaw on 11-14-2007 at 1:33 pm
You scared the “r” out of me!
Pluto XL
posted by Jay on 11-14-2007 at 1:33 pm
Stacy and Clinton said my shell just wasn’t working for me, so now I have to go buy a new shell at the seashore.
posted by Matt on 11-14-2007 at 2:07 pm
I told you staring at the sun would make you start to see swirls. Now you just think you see me naked.
posted by Matt on 11-14-2007 at 2:17 pm
“…so then the sub-prime lending bubble bursts; one reposession later and I’m living at my father-in-law’s shell!”
posted by Phil Rothwell on 11-14-2007 at 2:19 pm
So even if we are on this island alone together I cannot hold it back…I decided to come out of the shell, and I think I kinda like it…
Pluto (L women)
posted by Darcy on 11-14-2007 at 2:46 pm
Damn that subprime!!!!!
Idioms Lg
posted by Lindsey U on 11-14-2007 at 2:47 pm
Take it off-you’ll feel much better man, I’m tellin’ ya!
posted by Siobhan on 11-14-2007 at 2:55 pm
I came out to my parents about a year ago.
Idiom, M
posted by RandomEsq on 11-14-2007 at 3:08 pm
I posted comment 31 and wanted to explain Pleurodira - a group of southern-hemisphere turtles
posted by Lee on 11-14-2007 at 3:12 pm
The new “Turtles Gone Wild” Spring Break video is out.
pavlov long sleeve 2x
posted by Doug Krebs on 11-14-2007 at 3:21 pm
“What…? Is there something on my face?”
“…found a way to make it invisible! Not only do I get a great tan, I’m renting myself out to the army AND the Coppertone!”
“Better. Stronger. Faster.”
Rhesus, M
posted by JenPo on 11-14-2007 at 3:59 pm
i’m going topless.
or
i thought this was a topless beach.
posted by jeff on 11-14-2007 at 4:41 pm
“We’re Streaking!!!! Woohoo! Hey, whoa, whoa, _whoa_, wait, where did everyone go?”
posted by paul on 11-14-2007 at 4:58 pm
“Didn’t you get the memo?”
or
“$5, for an HJ, $10 for a BJ…”
Achilles Large
posted by Jared Probst on 11-14-2007 at 5:14 pm
“I just realized I’m totally naked, and can’t run home to do anything about it!”
Idioms-medium
posted by Rachel on 11-14-2007 at 5:52 pm
“Sure, I may be homeless, but at least I don’t have to deal with a broken A/C.”
Marx Large
posted by KnifeyJames on 11-14-2007 at 5:54 pm
The devil is losin’ his hearin’. That or he just wanna give me one more reason t’ sing the blues.
L Rhesus
posted by Steve on 11-14-2007 at 6:17 pm
” Come on dude, take of the shell and slap on some 45. Nobody is going to make fun of your farmers tan.”
Rhesus please.
posted by Kelly on 11-14-2007 at 6:37 pm
“Seriously, those spray tans did nothing for me…Since this morning, I got 3 phone numbers and a date tomorrow.”
“Honestly, I was in the sauna for five freakin’ minutes! From now on, I’m not leaving anything in those gym lockers”
“Come on, party like it’s 2,000,000 BC!”
Small Pluto please
posted by Heather on 11-14-2007 at 7:04 pm
I think Nelly said it best:
“It’s gettin’ hot in here, so take off all your clothes.”
posted by Scott Carney on 11-14-2007 at 9:43 pm
I’m not getting any younger Dave…Way I figure, now’s the time to spring for that double wide down in Boca.
posted by Allan on 11-15-2007 at 12:49 am
large rhesus please
posted by Allan on 11-15-2007 at 12:50 am
Yea, the wife’s mad again, is it alright if i stay with you for a couple of days?
Achilles Large
posted by John on 11-15-2007 at 1:12 am
“You remember when the Apple company started claiming ownership of everything with the word “apple” in it? Yes? Well Shell Oil’s got a new campaign. I suggest you hide that thing.”
posted by Becca on 11-15-2007 at 6:42 am
Oops, Rhesus Shirt (Large)
posted by Becca on 11-15-2007 at 6:42 am
Mmm! Do you smell soup?
Pluto, please.
posted by Wiley on 11-15-2007 at 8:22 am
“Sure, I’ll show you–but first we’re going to need a can opener, pliers, and alot of newspaper”
posted by liz on 11-15-2007 at 10:42 am
It’s amazing what you can sell on EBAY. I had hundreds of offers from eyeglass manufactures wanting to sell natural tortoise shell eyeframes to the public.
posted by Jim on 11-15-2007 at 11:57 am
oh… i thought they said to get the shell out of here.
posted by jeff on 11-15-2007 at 4:06 pm
I told you that fourth shot of tequilla was a bad idea….
posted by Steve on 11-15-2007 at 9:06 pm
Turns out, these things are removable!
rhesus xlarge
posted by Erick Grant on 11-16-2007 at 12:11 am
So… Al Gore got to you to, global warming, puhleaze…
posted by Levy on 11-16-2007 at 9:35 am
“The last five pounds are always the hardest to lose.”
idioms-small
posted by Suzanne on 11-16-2007 at 9:37 am
“You sure do gots a perdy mouth”
Scurvy
posted by Diane on 11-16-2007 at 9:41 am
“My Mental_Floss Marco Polo mens large T-shirt should be here next week!!!”
Marco Polo Mens large
posted by Brian on 11-16-2007 at 9:44 am
“Well, I thought the interest only mortgage was a good idea at first…”
Pavlov tshirt, large
posted by Dan on 11-16-2007 at 9:47 am
All I need is a place to crash for a couple of nights. You won’t even know I’m here…
easy as 3.14… large
posted by Allyson on 11-16-2007 at 9:57 am
Y’know, Hank, getting used to this global warming thing might be easier than we thought.
posted by C. D Clawson on 11-16-2007 at 10:14 am
I’ve been promoted to management, so I don’t need my spine anymore.
(Mental Floss Logo T - Large)
posted by Heidi Metzger on 11-16-2007 at 10:50 am
Love comment 117 - Turtles Gone Wild !!!!
posted by Debbie on 11-16-2007 at 10:59 am
“who’d you say sells sea shells by the sea shore?”
posted by Tim on 11-16-2007 at 11:22 am
“Not exaclty what I expected when i signed up for biggest loser”
Rhesus large
posted by coyne on 11-16-2007 at 11:32 am
“Sure it looks weird, but it feels great! There’s no better way to beat this heat.”
Simple as Pi, size L
(And please don’t pick any of the turtle vs. hare quotes…they’re just not funny.)
posted by Julie on 11-16-2007 at 11:55 am
“They switched off my cable last week, but it’s back on since I gave them shell about it.”
or alternatively
“So how’s the ‘baby dinosaur witness protection program’ working for you, Stan?”
Ladies Pi :D
posted by Ashley on 11-16-2007 at 12:04 pm
“You should have went to Jupiter’s wedding. It was very fun.”*
easter island, small
*(in ref. to the aesopian fable)
posted by jeffrey on 11-16-2007 at 12:10 pm
Between Global Warming and the housing market..it just seemed better this way.
Women’s Pavlov T-Shirt
posted by Kyle on 11-16-2007 at 12:50 pm
Didn’t you get the memo? Fridays are business casual now.
posted by Ken on 11-16-2007 at 1:36 pm
Once you used to the wind blowing through your junk, it’s really OK.
posted by Ken on 11-16-2007 at 1:37 pm
“I’m out there Jerry and loving every minute of it!”
Mentalfloss T XL
posted by Mitch in Cleveland on 11-16-2007 at 1:46 pm
“Brazilian is so 5 minutes ago. This is the new Turtle Wax.”
Any t-shirt - you pick - large size.
thanks,
posted by Irene on 11-16-2007 at 2:16 pm
. . . and I thought I got conned in the shell game on 10th Avenue.
Nobel XXL
posted by Mean Joe on 11-16-2007 at 2:28 pm
Stay away from those US soldiers in Tikrit, they’re taking shells and using them in place of the armor they never got that Bush promised them.
posted by Yobeav on 11-16-2007 at 2:53 pm
Hacksaw $15.00
Gel Lubricant $5.00
The look on your friends face when you come out of your shell….
Priceless
I already did one, but I had to post another one!
pluto L
posted by Darcy on 11-16-2007 at 3:22 pm
I’m still waiting for my temporary shell-ter from FEMA.
Scurvy - ladies M
posted by Kristen on 11-16-2007 at 4:37 pm
Emily, puleese listen to your older sister…it will so help with those hot flashes!
It feels so good out , I think I’ll leave it out all day!
mentalfloss T (Large)
posted by alex on 11-16-2007 at 6:47 pm
“It wasn’t hard at all. A little scute here, a scute there…I was out in a snap!”
posted by Allan on 11-16-2007 at 8:54 pm
Like my new shell? Got it from the Emperor!
women’s fitted simple as pi large
posted by Lacy Grant on 11-16-2007 at 9:23 pm
“This is my ‘green’ experiment - I’m now lighter, faster and require less food.”
posted by Dave on 11-16-2007 at 10:10 pm
“There’s only one way to get beach sand out of those things”
Double XL Rhesus Pls.Mens
posted by Chris on 11-17-2007 at 1:18 am
Com’on Frank. It’s a nudist beach!
posted by Kris on 11-17-2007 at 9:01 am
I was at the bottom of Yertle’ s stack when it happened.
posted by Chris on 11-17-2007 at 11:58 am
four words: 9 second quarter mile!
men’s XL rhesus
posted by dwight on 11-18-2007 at 3:08 am
I had to sell my shell, but I got the Hannah Montana tickets!!
(Easy as pi… XL)
posted by Elizabeth on 11-18-2007 at 3:25 pm
“I wanted a change. My life’s been too sheltered.”
simple as pi - women’s S
posted by Sammy on 11-18-2007 at 4:42 pm
It is so hot I Just had to get the ’shell’ out
posted by G McMahon on 11-19-2007 at 6:47 am
“No, I can’t save you 15% or more on car insurance!”
mens idioms XL
posted by Bo on 11-20-2007 at 2:23 pm
pluto womens l
“a turtle without a shell: naked or homeless? Discuss”
posted by samantha on 11-20-2007 at 2:37 pm
“Larry, Dude, I know it’s hot, but there are some place where the sun should never, ever! shine…”
‘Idioms are for the birds’
womans medium
posted by Emily on 11-20-2007 at 2:40 pm
It really isn’t that hard,once you come out of your shell!
or
If you shelled out a little more $,you’d be covered!
XY large
posted by mark dorfman on 11-20-2007 at 2:45 pm
“Try it. I’m up to 150 millimeters an hour now.”
Mental Floss
Gray XL
posted by Terry on 11-20-2007 at 2:48 pm
“I found that you can out run the hare faster when your naked.”
Pavolov short sleeve tee, small please, thank you.
posted by Tazz on 11-20-2007 at 3:02 pm
Man! The look on your face when I came out of my shell, scared the “R” right out of you!!! HAHA
#3
Pluto womens(L)
posted by Darcy on 11-20-2007 at 3:04 pm
“Larry, dude, I know it’s hot, but there are some places where the sun should never, EVER, shine…”
Idioms, Medium
posted by Emily on 11-20-2007 at 3:17 pm
echo $Shell
exit $Shell
ha ha cool
literally - i was burning up in that thing
Pluto XL
posted by Melissa on 11-20-2007 at 3:20 pm
“…and she got the shell in the divorce, so i decided to come out here and stay with you.”
posted by Tazzetty on 11-20-2007 at 3:22 pm
#168 is awesome!
posted by Allyson on 11-20-2007 at 3:49 pm
I went to the casino the other night.
How’d you do?
I got shell-lacked.
posted by Rory Flynn on 11-20-2007 at 3:57 pm
Welcome to Vermont.
Rhesus - Small
posted by wonderkimmie on 11-20-2007 at 4:13 pm
“…yeah, so just flip over and I’ll look and see if yours was made in China too.”
womens M easy as 3.14
posted by Suzanne on 11-20-2007 at 4:30 pm
“Ok here’s the plan; first we walk back to the strip and get me some clothes, then we hitch a ride out of town and forget this whole thing ever happened.”
posted by matt on 11-20-2007 at 4:31 pm
Think about it Marge! They say he’s only taking 2 of each and the Johnsons are already aboard! It’s our only hope!
mental_floss - Med
posted by monica on 11-20-2007 at 5:16 pm
Oh, I didn’t tell you over the phone that I have a slight environmentally induced dominate genetic birth defect? Must of slipped my mind. So, when do I meet the parents?
posted by Christina on 11-20-2007 at 5:50 pm
Help the Homeless?
posted by Alan D on 11-20-2007 at 9:26 pm
“I’m bringing shell-less back. Them other turtles don’t know how to act.”
posted by Linz on 11-20-2007 at 10:01 pm
Oh, I’d like the “Simple as 3.141592″ T-shirt in Women’s small.
posted by Linz on 11-20-2007 at 10:03 pm
“She may have got the shell, but I got the quesadilla maker.”
Women’s Scurvy T-shirt - Large
posted by Ash on 11-20-2007 at 10:06 pm
“That hare may not do well in a race, but he sure is good at poker.”
Women’s Pavlov T-shirt - Large
posted by Ash on 11-20-2007 at 10:07 pm
“Haven’t you heard? Shell-less is the new black.”
Women’s Scurvy Tee - Large
posted by Wilson on 11-20-2007 at 10:17 pm
“My shell? I put it where the sun don’t shine.”
Women’s Pavlov Tee - Large
posted by Wilson on 11-20-2007 at 10:18 pm
“I found a way around that developmental constraint you still think is an adaptation.”
entropy xl
(I’d be interested in drawing a cartoon in the future)
posted by Raymond Nakamura on 11-21-2007 at 12:41 am
What are you going to do when that idiot plumber and his brother jump on your head? King Koopa is gonna be soooo pissed.
easy as 3.141592 - Large. thanks!
posted by kevin on 11-21-2007 at 1:34 am
Had to put one more out there :-)
-”Nah, the removal didn’t hurt at all!Ok, first, I get 3 people involved, then each of those 3 people get 3 more people involved, and so on, and then the knowledge of enlightenment spreads man!”
-”Um, I think you may have joined a cult.”
-”Praise be to Franklin!”
posted by Emily on 11-21-2007 at 1:50 am
“What’s the matter? You seem a little shell-shocked!”
posted by Steve on 11-21-2007 at 5:31 am
Hey, man, YOU were the one who wanted to visit the “clothing optional” beach…
Men’s large XY-Chromosome shirt.
posted by Lisa on 11-21-2007 at 6:33 am
For God’s sake, Man, act like an ectotherm!!!
posted by JANE MCGLOTHEN on 11-21-2007 at 7:15 am
“Oh, thank God it’s you. You’ll never believe this. I was just minding my own business, walking along when WHAM!, out of nowhere this jerk kicks me right in the tail. I landed on my back and then took off running; I’ve been running ever since. I’d be careful if I were you… Stay away from the goofy-looking, moustache-sporting guy in red overalls!!”
posted by Kiera on 11-21-2007 at 8:11 am
Oops!
Idioms, Women’s Small.
posted by Kiera on 11-21-2007 at 8:11 am
even though i already made my submission, i came back to read the new submissions….#173 made me laugh out loud
posted by jen on 11-21-2007 at 9:34 am
“It’s Lohan chic!”
or “I just got chemo.”
Scurvy, women’s large
posted by Em on 11-21-2007 at 5:32 pm
either
“Come on Seymour, don’t be like that. All the cool kids are doing it. Don’t you want to be cool Seymour?”
or….
“She told me that loosing our shells would bring us closer togeth… Wait just one minute! Just one cotton picking minute! Wait are you and I doing in the desert, Ernest? What are two turtles doing in the desert?!”
beethoven L
posted by Alex K. on 11-21-2007 at 10:35 pm
“She was a true “snapping” turtle”
Rhesus mens XXL
posted by Chris coultas on 11-21-2007 at 11:27 pm
“This was the only way for me to bail from my bale”
Bale=is a group of turtles
This is kind of a stretch ….if I have to explain my joke it’s not as funny…. but hey I thought this was classic.
posted by Chris coultas on 11-21-2007 at 11:31 pm
“We’re Scientific orders Testudines not Testurnudes”
Rhesus XXl Pls
www.myspace.com/diognesmodern
posted by Chris coultas on 11-21-2007 at 11:33 pm
“How did you do that? ….We don’t even have teeth”
posted by Chris coultas on 11-21-2007 at 11:35 pm
“I lost it doing the “turtle” in a breakdancing contest”
Rhesus XXL
posted by Chris coultas on 11-21-2007 at 11:39 pm
“It’s all in the Logo programming”
TO ERASESHELL
PE
BK 200 REPEAT 4 [FD 100 RT 90]
PPT
if :num = 0 [output []]
END
posted by Chris coultas on 11-21-2007 at 11:44 pm
“The song lied ….we weren’t so “happy” together.”
Reference to Turtles the band with song”happy together”
Rhesus XXL pls
posted by Chris coultas on 11-21-2007 at 11:46 pm
“The kid flushed me down a low-flow toilet”
Rhesus XXL pls
posted by Chris coultas on 11-21-2007 at 11:49 pm
“someone thought their was a picture of the virgin Mary on it”
rhesus xxl pls
posted by Chris coultas on 11-21-2007 at 11:52 pm
“In this economy your better off just subletting”
Rhesus XXL pls
posted by Chris coultas on 11-21-2007 at 11:54 pm
“I was trying to kill Frogger ™ and I ran into a log”
Rhesus XXL Pls
posted by Chris coultas on 11-21-2007 at 11:55 pm
“I’m telling you the benefits in Koopa’s army are great”
Rhesus XXL pls
posted by Chris coultas on 11-21-2007 at 11:58 pm
“My name is Tiny Tim this is what happens when you eat the soap”
Rhesus XXL
posted by Chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 12:10 am
“I’m using it for a new Unix environment variable… 0 Shell”
Rhesus XXl pls
posted by Chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 12:17 am
“I’m getting it Shellacked”
Rhesus XXL pls
posted by Chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 12:57 am
“They dropped a real bombshell on me”
Rhesus XXl Pls
posted by Chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 12:59 am
“You would not believe how dirty my Aristocrats routine is”
Rhesus XXL Large
posted by Chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 1:04 am
“I thought I’d make a little money on the side ….but I didn’t have anywhere they could stick the money”
posted by Chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 1:05 am
“Do you want to get references from my last roommate?”
Rhesus xxl pls
posted by Chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 1:08 am
“It’s a Lady Godiva fan club meeting here today”
Rhesus XXl pls
posted by Chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 1:10 am
“I was going to flash people but I left my trenchcoat at home”
Rhesus XXL pls
posted by Chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 1:11 am
“This is a full back nudity scene Shelley”
Rhesus XXL PLS
posted by Chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 1:12 am
“When I said Let’s do Naked Lunch I meant for our bookclub!”
Rhesus XXl PLS
posted by Chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 1:17 am
“What’s the frequency Kenneth?
Rhesus XXL pls
posted by Chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 1:20 am
“Once you go Galapagos you’ll never go back”
Rhesus XXl pls
posted by Chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 1:23 am
“Word of advice……never ever use more than a little bit of astroglide”
Rhesus XXL Pls
posted by Chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 1:47 am
“Dude I totally got Shell-Jacked”
Rhesus XXL pls
posted by Chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 1:49 am
“sometime I get the feeling that I was adopted”
Rhesus XXL pls
posted by Chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 1:50 am
“It’s the latest thing in bikini floss ware”
rhesus XXl pls
posted by Chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 1:52 am
“In my day we were so tough we didn’t even need shells”
rhesus xxl pls
posted by Chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 1:53 am
“it’s in some ladies hair”
Rhesus XXl pls
posted by Chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 1:56 am
“I was stoked when I caught the big wave Bra but I had to bail cause it was too big for me”
Rhesus XXL pls
posted by Chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 1:58 am
“Your picturing me naked right now aren’t you”
rhesus XXL pls
posted by Chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 1:59 am
“How are those X-ray contact lenses workin out for ya?”
rhesus XXl pls
posted by Chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 2:02 am
“Hot enough for ya?”
Rhesus XXl PLS
posted by Chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 2:03 am
“You know this is supposed to be an anti fur NAKED protest right?”
Rhesus XXl pls
posted by Chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 2:05 am
“But you drew me this way when we were on the Titanic”
Rhesus XXl Pls
posted by Chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 2:06 am
“Squeal like a turtle”
Rhesus XXl pls
posted by Chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 2:08 am
“You can’t spell Turtles without Lust”
Rhesus XXL Pls
posted by Chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 2:10 am
“For the last time it is not a fantasy of mine to go interspecies”
Rhesus XXl Pls
posted by Chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 2:11 am
“I really need a mental floss T-shirt”
Rhesus XXL Pls
posted by CHRIS Coultas on 11-22-2007 at 12:09 pm
“I rally am the kind of guy that will give you the shell of my back”
Rhesus XXL pls
posted by chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 12:09 pm
“A magician pulled me halfway out of his hat”
Rhesus XXL PLS
posted by Chris Coultas on 11-22-2007 at 12:34 pm
“I traded it for some Magic Beans”
Rhesus XXL PLS
posted by chris Coultas on 11-22-2007 at 12:35 pm
“The doctor said it will grow back eventually”
Rhesus XXL pls
posted by chris Coultas on 11-22-2007 at 12:36 pm
“After I ate that Burrito plate in Mexico City I blew out more than my cloaca”
Rhesus xxl pls
posted by chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 12:37 pm
“I traded it for Herschel Walker”
rhesus XXl pls
posted by chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 12:38 pm
“So I got to thinking what does Houdini know that I don’t know?…..”
Rhesus XXl PLs
posted by chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 12:38 pm
“trust me you can goose a turtle”
Rhesus xxl pls
posted by chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 12:39 pm
“I got sick of wearing the same thing every day”
Rhesus XXl pls
posted by chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 12:41 pm
“It’s laundry day”
Rhesus XXL Pls
posted by chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 12:42 pm
“I just got back from the tattoo parlor…I had to get one in a private place”
Rhesus XXl Pls
posted by chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 12:43 pm
“I’m fine why do you ask?”
Rhesus XXl Pls
posted by chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 12:44 pm
“That’s when I knew I had taken the gag too far”
Rhesus XXl pls
posted by chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 12:45 pm
“Oh yeah…..you should see the other guy”
Rhesus XXl pls
posted by chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 12:46 pm
“I just wanted to get the handicapped parking”
rhesus XXL pls
posted by chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 12:47 pm
“Leviticus 11:29 said I was unclean so I was trying to work on it so I can get to heaven”
Rhesus XXL PLS
posted by chris coultas on 11-22-2007 at 12:50 pm
Did you know your crap looks just like an “r”?
posted by rich on 11-23-2007 at 7:24 pm
“Just imagine everyone is naked…”
Women’s Scurvy T-Shirt (L) please.
posted by Angeline on 11-23-2007 at 8:18 pm
“We don’t exist. This is only a caption competition on Mental Floss. Be free, FREE!”
posted by Josh Davidson on 11-26-2007 at 12:25 pm
really officer I just have wide stance
posted by Jimmy on 11-28-2007 at 9:42 am