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With the holiday shopping season upon us, it’s time for me to think about giving gifts to friends and family. In the past I’ve tried some different strategies, but I’m wondering if the mental_floss audience can help me figure out what to do this year! Here’s a roundup of past strategies:
Wish lists - these days it’s typically the Amazon wish list, but generally this strategy involves asking each person what he or she wants, then buying something. Pro: people get stuff they want, and I get to pick how much I spend. Con: not everybody has a wish list, and sometimes it’s spendy. Also: Mom and Dad sometimes just ask for “a hug,” which is hard to mail.
Here, enjoy my taste in music - I’ve given out a couple of favorite albums to pretty much everyone in my family — notably Bob Dylan concerts from the mid 60’s and anything by Vince Guaraldi. These are recordings I love, and love to listen to with family, but you never know if they’re going to mean much to someone else. Pro: might be a big hit, and makes you look like you know stuff about music. Con: might end up collecting dust, and/or your family may feel obligated to play it when you’re around.
Gift cards - I was going to buy my brother some new music for his birthday this year, but I realized that he probably had most of what I was going to buy him. After a few probing questions (like “Do you have the new Feist?”) I realized that, indeed, he was way ahead of me and had already bought everything I could think of. So I just gave him an iTunes Gift Card. Pro: broad choice for the giftee. Con: picking a dollar value can be dicey.
Make something - I’m worst at this, but it may actually be the best strategy. I haven’t really made gifts for people since I was a kid, as I’m not sure what to make. But this year I’m looking at making MOO Cards from digital photos. Pro: giftee says “awww,” and it’s cheap. Con: time spent to make stuff.
Gift of the Magi - only applicable if you’re in a relationship where one of you has long hair and the other a prized watch. Pro: touching/heartfelt. Con: tragic.
So let’s hear it. What gift-giving strategy works best for you? Also: bonus points if you have a story of a horribly failed gift.
For the past couple of years my family’s gift giving strategy is this. We buy each other stocking stuffers totalling no more than $15. In addition to this, we all go out for a nice dinner and pay for ourselves.
In case there are family members under the age of 18-22 (depends on your philosophy) everyone buys them gifts like normal.
By the way, yesterday’s post about crappy gifts provided me with excellent stocking stuffers. Everyone is getting a pooping pig/cow/dog keychain in their stocking.
I have a different family.
posted by Dusty on 11-28-2007 at 11:11 am
well…plain ol’ money normally works in any situation- cause lets face it, everyone loves and needs money! its less heartfelt I guess but have you ever frowned upon recieving money? and perhaps this christmas a gas gift card would be very welcomed by anyone who drives….I would love one.
posted by chad on 11-28-2007 at 11:17 am
A neat thing to do for parents/grandparents. etc, and may involve getting siblings involved to reduce individual cost, is to have something done for them on their house. Our family has done new living room carpet, new flooring, etc.
The best one so far, is getting my mother-in-law out of her house, and arranging for an organ repair man to come and fix her organ. On Christmas day while she was in the kitchen, our neice fired it up and began playing. There were tears in mom’s face when she realized what we had all done for her.
posted by Linda on 11-28-2007 at 11:33 am
I keep a list for every family member. not of gift ideas, those usually end up on scrap paper which I struggle to find as Christmas approaches. I keep lists of topics, hobbies and interests for everyone. It’s easier for me then to figure out what to get my dad when it’s already narrowed down to Baseball, politics, sci-fi and The Who.
Some people are just impossible though. What do you get the aging hippie who’s (still) into communes, new age, massage and the Grateful Dead?
The worst gifts were when I inadvertantly bought something for someone else when really it was something I wanted. Usually it’s books. One year I bought my sister a Mah Jong set, which wasn’t cheap–at $80, it was way more than I usually spend. She hasn’t used it once. and we all learned how to play Mah Jong in high school.
posted by Jenny on 11-28-2007 at 11:40 am
Your Magi Warning is well taken, sir, and thank you! I was planning on selling my testicles to Medical Science in order to purchase my lovely wife a fine tortoiseshell and mother-of-pearl comb for her lush-as-a-rhododendron pubic thatch until I discovered, quite by accident, that she had shorn her luxuriant bush in order to buy me a hand-woven Finnish ball-cozy, studded in priceless conflict diamonds, huzzah! Another Christmas Disaster neatly avoided, and warm gonads to boot! (Not literally. This can be very painful.)
As to gift-giving strategies, we have it quite well in hand at Dingeldein House. We simply deprive our 11 children of food and water starting the day after Thanksgiving (Turkey Day giving them a fair head-start), and then on Christmas Eve we wrap whatever canned food or non-perishables we can find and hand each child a can opener as they rush to the tree on their feeble, malnourished little legs. It’s cheap, easy, and your kids will thank you — I mean REALLY thank you — at least until Valentine’s Day. There’s nothing better than a truly thankful child at Christmas.
posted by Elvis Dingeldein on 11-28-2007 at 11:41 am
we have a pretty good idea in my family:
We draw names b/c there are just too many to buy for - it would put some of them in the poor house. We have an agreed spending limit and each person must give at least 3 suggestions (and only one of them can be a gift certificate or cash). However, I refuse to give or ask for cash or giftcards, especially at Christmas. What’s worse than giving a giftcard to someone and getting another giftcard back in the exact same amount. Lame! The only time I’ll do that is if I or someone else has an eye on an expensive item and the money will go to help purchase it.
Last year, as usual, I did not have any good ideas (I have every object I need that fall within the price range my relatives would be willing to spend). So, instead of aking for the same old stuff, I asked for “experience” type gifts such as sporting event tickets. That worked out great!
My wife is the worst. when she finally comes up with an idea, she’ll tell me. Then, a couple days later I’ll see it magically appear on the kitchen counter.
Making something can work out as well. A few years ago, my mom began asking each of her kids to make a christmas ornament by hand for her. It seems to be a bit more heartfelt and satisfying than a sweater or cookbook.
posted by It's good to be the King on 11-28-2007 at 12:07 pm
I’ve starting giving to charity for my mom (who always asks for “a happy and healthy daughter”). Last year it was to John Hopkin’s cancer unit, where my aunt had recently gone for melanoma treatment. This year it’s People for People, a local fund in NY that gives one-time financial help to self-sufficient families who fall on hard times (i.e breadwinner gets laid off, fund pays their heating bill while s/he looks for a new job). It has the triple advantage of making my mom happy, helping needy folks, and chasing away any of my winter blues.
posted by Kate on 11-28-2007 at 12:34 pm
In the family we do a Secret Santa grab bag with a $25 limit. You buy a gift for 1 person (or 1 couple as we treat couples as a single entity).
For my sister who is my best friend we make each other something. This is easy because we know each other so well.
For my small group of co-workers? This year I am giving gas station gift cards. Major brand near the office for those times you forgot to gas up in the morning and don’t have enough fuel to get home (lol)
posted by JaneM on 11-28-2007 at 12:40 pm
You say Dylan concerts from mid 60’s, and though I cannot find a touch of fault in Live ‘66, I prefer Live ‘75 to ‘64. I’m sure you’ve heard this (if you haven’t stop what you’re doing and go find it and listen to it), but I just thought I’d share. Though Live ‘64 is terrific too, and who cares what I think anyway.
posted by Hark Ransom on 11-28-2007 at 12:48 pm
I started making it easier and more fun by making a shorter list of people to give to. I discovered that most of the people that were the hardest to buy for were because I’d lost touch with them so much I didn’t know what they wanted or needed anymore. If I don’t know you well enough anymore to be inspired enough to pick you a thoughtful present, it’s time to end the gift exchange. Most of the people I’m truly close to, I could buy a hundred times over for. If I can’t think of a great gift, I don’t buy anything. I give them a call or send a card or an email. The same goes for anyone that it had become an exchange of gift cards. If you’ve reached just the obligitory swap of restaurant gift cards point, it’s time to free yourself from the exchange at all. And they’ll probably be happy,too. If they’ve had to resort to that to keep giving to you, they’ll appreciate the freedom as much as you do.
Also, pairing down the list is a good reminder to maintain the relationships you want to keep. If someone on the cut list is someone you would never imagine you could be cutting (a parent, a sibling, a long-term close friend), you notice really quickly that that relationship is in trouble and can fix it for real instead of just taping it back together for x-mas with a gift card or you realize that it’s really time to let go of that relationship and truly let it go instead of just awkwardly holding it together for the holiday out of guilt or tradition.
Also, I’ve found starting early is a help. I start in like September shopping, especially online, and gathering ideas for Christmas. That way you’re not pressed into finding tons of gifts for tons of people all at the same time. You make better decisions, give better gifts, have more fun, and save more money when you’re not trying to cram all that buying into one month.
Also, consumables are great for those people who have everything. Things like food, wine, and spirits are enjoyed, then gone. Rather than giving those people one more gadget or knick knack that’s just going to collect dust and take up space in their homes, they can enjoy an edible/drinkable gift and then it’s gone.
I also keep a couple of bottles of wine and a restaurant or Wal-Mart gift card on hand for the unexpected gifts. There’s often a few people that give to me that haven’t before and I honestly wouldn’t have expected (like the occasional co-worker or aquaintance) or people that show up at our Christmas celebration unexpectedly (sister in law’s new boyfriends, brother’s new room mate, etc) and the wine and cards make great gifts for them. And if no one extra shows up, I can enjoy the wine and gift certificates myself after the holiday.
posted by Melissa on 11-28-2007 at 12:50 pm
Best gift: we surprised my mom with a new refrigerator one year. As long as it works, she’ll keep an appliance until it screams to be let go and the one she had, although covered in rust and the door insulation strips falling out, was “fine”. So we just went and bought her one
Worst gift: Bought my brother and his wife a gift card for a local restaurant that they love but can’t really afford to go to that often now that they have kids. Week after Christmas the restaurant burned to the ground. Guess they’ve still got the gift card….
posted by Fran on 11-28-2007 at 12:51 pm
I just thought I would share my mother’s unique gift-giving strategy: to give the recipient something completely and utterly useless in every way. She asks what you want, you tell her, and then she… just… doesn’t get it.
Example: one year I asked for a Gameboy Advance. I received a Gameboy Advance case. “Mother,” I inquired, “WTF?” She said - I am not joking - “You said you wanted a Gameboy… you will need something to put it in!”
Another Example: One year, I requested a small $25 television set for my dorm room. Instead, I received several VHS tapes. I did not have a VCR OR a television at that point.
*sigh* This strategy always includes a surprise, if that’s what you’re going for…
posted by Betty on 11-28-2007 at 12:55 pm
One year I bought wine for all of my team-mates at work. Twelve people on the team, twelve bottles in a case, perfect.
If you don’t like wine (or my inexpensive wine) just re-gift it. I even bribed my mom to wrap them.
One of my co-workers was an undeclared Muslim, and it later got back to me that she was highly offended by my gesture. Now everybody gets crappy cards. Sorry, can’t afford an EEO complaint at this point in my illustrious gubment career.
posted by fixedgear on 11-28-2007 at 1:05 pm
For Christmas this year I started on my gifts way back in August. I am doing one gift for my family. I started sneaking photo albums out of my parent’s house and scanning them all to make personalized digital scrapbooks. I am still a broke college student working two jobs just to pay for school and living who just doesn’t have the extra money for the holidays. I hope they enjoy them as much as I have making them!
posted by Jill on 11-28-2007 at 1:16 pm
I know this one sounds weird, but this year my wife and I are asking my parents for a weekend of my dad’s handyman skills.
I have all these little projects around the house that I could probably knock out in a day if only I had an extra set of hands to help. Plus I’m going to be getting his expertise on electrical wiring, which is something I don’t know a whole lot about.
So we get to hang out and he teaches me things I should really probably learn, while my wife and my mother get to shop and spend time together, too.
I’d rather have that than a silly ol’ iPod any day.
posted by SpaceMonkeyX on 11-28-2007 at 1:49 pm
Clutter free! My parents asked for my husband and I to donate to our church’s building fund instead of giving gifts. Not wanting to show up on Christmas completely empty handed, I’ve also been making up some “gift cards” for services that I can provide (home made meals, babysitting younger siblings, going out for lunch with individual family members, etc. I found some really useful ideas on Flylady.com.
Liking the absence of junky clutter, I have adopted the same concept for my husband’s family. I’m getting magazine subscriptions (which when used can then be donated to the local senior center), tickets to special events, and “home date baskets” packed with the couple’s favorite candy, popcorn, soda, and a gift certificate to blockbuster.
For myself, I have an Amazon wishlist which lists little kitchen items which I’ve made do without, but would make my life easier (pastry brushes, cooling rack, etc.), Can you tell that impractical gifts bug me?
posted by Andrea on 11-28-2007 at 3:04 pm
I think the most appreciated gift that I’ve ever given was during the last year my grandmother was alive. I bought a large book of postcards, like 40 or so, in a design I knew she would like. I wrapped the set and gave them to her at Christmas with the promise that I would actually use those postcards to write to her throughout the next year. I knew that she wasn’t interested in anything that would sit on her shelf collecting dust, and it only takes a few minutes to write a postcard telling what you’ve done for the last week or so. She loved getting real mail, and hearing from me more frequently (in a time of relatively expensive long distance and no cell phones). I wish I’d thought of it years earlier. I hate to get all mushy here, but sometimes the best gift you can give the people you love is to tell them that you love them. Frequently.
The worst gift-giving experience I ever had was crocheting a scarf for my mother and only finding out after it was finished that she had bought a new winter coat. She went from a dark olivey green to light silvery-sagey green, and the scarf looked awful with her new coat. So I kept that first scarf for myself and made her another, and we both ended up happy.
posted by Rachel on 11-28-2007 at 3:34 pm
Ever since I can remember, my family has taken the wish list strategy for gifts. It works well, since we all seem to lack the gene that lets us figure out what people want lol.
Though when I buy for friends, we usually come right out and ask “What do you want for Christmas?” It’s straightforward, and if we can’t find anything, we go with the cleverly thought-out gag gift. Always fun!
posted by heather on 11-28-2007 at 3:36 pm
I just thought of a lousy gift. It wasn’t one that I gave or received though. A department I used to work for was opening a new call center in El Paso, TX to compliment to the other two centers located in the Mid-West (this will be important).
Traditionally, when a new rep enters training, they are given a welcome packet with things such as pens, highlighters, candy, squish balls, etc… Well, since they made these welcome packets up ahead of time, someone just shipped a bunch of them down to the new center. So what was one of the great gifts? Ice Scrapers. In El Paso. Where it has probably snowed (other than the mountain, doesn’t count) once in 20 years.
Wasn’t a horrible gift but it got a very big laugh.
posted by Dusty on 11-28-2007 at 3:51 pm
when i can’t think of a great gift, i tend to go for a wish-list and if that’s not available a great way to go is to look up magazines and websites that sell retro toys and miscelania. can’t go wrong with nostalgia.
posted by tami on 11-28-2007 at 4:03 pm
I like to get gifts that meld my tastes and the giftee’s. Example: I’m getting my boyfriend some Burt’s Bees Bay Rum Cologne. It smells nice (he likes), it’s 99.91% natural (I like), and we’re HUGE Sweeney Todd fans (”Quickly, sir! A splash of bay rum!”)
Failing that, I would rather give (or get) a complete failure of a gift than a gift card. I hate gift cards. Get your nephew a Barbie with the gift receipt and let him exchange it for something he wants. At least he’s got something to open!
Then there’s the homemade gift. Super special, even if it’s cheap and quick. Even if it’s just a batch of my favourite cookies.
posted by Mari on 11-28-2007 at 4:04 pm
Heifer International:
You can buy an animal or share of an animal (1 share of pig = $20) in someone’s name that Heifer International will send to a needy family. Part of the fee goes to training the family how to properly take care of it and how to use all its resources (poop for fertilizer). Even better, the first born animal goes to another family.
Variable price, helps others, no cluttering someone’s house with useless junk.
posted by Amy on 11-28-2007 at 7:15 pm
Personally, I prefer the exchanging of mathoms. Trouble is, the rest of my family says they don’t want my old junk.
I find that as I get older I become increasingly disinterested in all the commercialism surrounding Christmas. I enjoy the holiday with all the family get togethers and the celebration of Christ’s birth, but the gift giving is tiresome. It seems that as time goes on buying a gift that will be appreciated is becoming more and more difficult. My family asks me what I want, and all I can think of is a week off.
This year we got a copy of the World Vision Gift Catalog in the mail, and it has gifts much like what Amy described above; you buy something for someone who can really use it, and the gift is given in your giftee’s name. Everything from live poultry to cows to fishing gear to a school building. Pricing is listed for the whole gift/project or a more affordable share in it. I think something from that catalog is going to be on my wish list this year. I wrote about it in my blog a little bit ago; click my name to go there.
posted by Dave on 11-29-2007 at 12:32 am
My mom always makes gifts for me (she’s an art teacher though, so not that far-fetched), and I love my mom’s gifts, they’re creative and unique, and always fit my personality.
The WORST gifts I ever got weren’t for Christmas. When I lived in Korea, the school I worked for gave us (the entire teaching staff) gifts at Chusok (it’s kind of like a Korean version of Thanksgiving- it’s in September) and at the Lunar New Year (Chinese New Year as it’s known in the US). For Chusok they gave us… A CASE of canned tuna fish. Yes, every one of the teachers got a CASE of the stuff. And not just regular tuna fish, there was the vegetable kind, the spicy kimchi kind,etc. I didn’t know so many kinds of tuna fish existed. I ate the regular kind and let the rest sit in my apt for almost a year. For Lunar New Year, we got a case of dried seaweed! YAY! I gave mine away immediately. I don’t like seaweed. The funny thing is, I’m not a picky eater at ALL, but they happened to pick stuff that I just don’t like. (well I mean, I like tuna fish, but really, kimchi tuna fish??)
posted by greenstrawberries on 11-29-2007 at 4:01 am
Worst Gift Given: My parents buy everything they see and want. this makes creative gifting very, very hard. When my parents were married, Dad had a lot of old Carly Simon records. I remembered seeing them around the house as a kid and thought it would be cute to slip in a greatest hits CD with my Dad’s birthday present.
I later found out that my mom hated Carly Simon, pitched the records and I think the CD is probably still in it’s cellophane wrapper now, years later.
Oops.
Worst Gift Story:
One year, my grandmother gave me this horrible red sweater. It was easily two sizes too big and it looked like I was wearing a giant red sack, plus I was in the middle of the adolescent awkward stage so the red in the sweater brought out the red in my face if you catch my meaning… Luckily it had tags from Macy’s, so I returned the sweater, and purchased a blue one that was flattering for about $10 less than the original sweater.
However, I loved my grandmother and, like the responsible young adolescent I was, sent her an eloquent thank-you card, thanking her for thinking of me and purchasing the sweater.
Fast forward to two weeks later, and I’m sitting on my Grandmother’s couch, wearing the sweater that I swapped hers for when my mother opens her big, fat mouth. “Doesn’t that sweater look nice on Ashley? The one that you bought didn’t fit, so we took it back and she bought that sweater and got ten back as well!”
I felt about three feet tall. the next year I got a basket of candy from my Grandma — Maybe she was trying to belatedly make the sweater fit…
posted by Ashley on 11-29-2007 at 8:35 am
I try and limit myself to just 15 dollars per person. the great thing about this pricce range is that with the five dollar leeway i can either go for 20 dollars or i can reach down to ten dollars and still stay well within my means (exept i have alot of friends to this never turns out to be inexpensive)last year i learned my lesson as far as gifts go i think im basicly going to give away gift cards from now on. last year i got my girlfriend twenty one jump street becuase i was walking with her in the mall and she said “johny DEPP!!!” so i came back later and bought it, she watched the season maybe twice and is now on the bottom of her dvd pile.
I got my brother the voltron season 1 dvd’s, i remember siting w3ith my bro when we were just little ones and watching in awe the team voltron force take out the vile creatures that plagued our world, he watched maybe three episodes and is now, of course, sitting on the bottom of the pile.
last time i talked to my friend andy he was really into photography so i got him a david la chapelle book, this frickin book set me back 25 bucks but i didn’t know what else to get him so it had to do. turns out around christmas time when i gave it to him he wasn’t really into photography that much anymore
gift cards are definately the way to go. if they like tech stuff go with a best buy card, if they like clothes give ‘em a mall gift card. these days standing in line for anything anymore in the mall or bestbuy or circuit city or anywhere is a sign you care regardless of what you buy for them
posted by chuck on 11-29-2007 at 9:57 am
“Some people are just impossible though. What do you get the aging hippie who’s (still) into communes, new age, massage and the Grateful Dead?”
Take the aging hippie with you. Go pick out a homeless person, ask them to wait wherever they are for an hour. Run out with the hippie and buy needed stuff for the homeless person and go back and give it to them.
posted by AC on 11-29-2007 at 4:34 pm