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Chris Higgins
Phone Call to the 14th Century
by Chris Higgins - November 29, 2007 - 9:01 AM

I’m a little behind the curve on this one (by about a year), but I’m sure you’ll let that slide. I just discovered the hilarious Phone Call to the 14th Century, a faux game show by the Kasper Hauser comedy group (iTunes link: Kasper Hauser podcast). The rules of “Phone Call to the 14th Century” are simple:

You all know the rules of the game: you get one phone call to impart as much knowledge as you can to the people of the 14th Century. The one who imparts the most walks away with the BIG one. Ready… phone call…. BEGIN!

To listen: Visit the show page and click the big pink “play” button under “Hear Episode One.”

While the piece speaks for itself, it actually raises a fun thought experiment: what would you tell the people of the 14th Century?

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Comments (16)

  1. To wash their hands, especially if they are doctors.

    posted by NewMexiKen on 11-29-2007 at 9:18 am

  2. Mostly I’d tell them to build more castles. And put my name on a big fat one by the Danube.

    “But more importantly guys, you can lie down at night to sleep, the devil doesn’t live in the ground, and you can drink spring water and eat the good part of carrots. Stop listening to your pope, he’s CRAZY.”

    posted by Sarah on 11-29-2007 at 9:56 am

  3. John called – he didn’t mean to say “Antichrist” in Revelations, he meant “George W Bush”, not “George Bush”, but “George W Bush”.

    posted by Charles on 11-29-2007 at 10:21 am

  4. Something about rats and fleas, perhaps.

    Is it enough to tell them or do we have to convince them?

    posted by Glen on 11-29-2007 at 10:21 am

  5. Two points:
    1) Our solar system is actually heliocentric.

    2) Men and women are from two totally different planets within.

    posted by Jerry on 11-29-2007 at 10:30 am

  6. I like the washing hands one and the rats and fleas one.

    I would add only one word. Are you ready for it? PLASTICS

    posted by Dusty on 11-29-2007 at 11:03 am

  7. I wish the contestants took this seriously. I wanted to hear more.

    How about harnessing the power of lightning?

    posted by Jonathan on 11-29-2007 at 11:21 am

  8. Thanks for posting this! Would you mind using this link (replace xxs with tts):
    hxxp://www.maximumfun.org/blog/2006/10/its-here-kasper-hauser-comedy-podcast.html

    Jesse (producer of the piece :) )

    posted by Jesse Thorn on 11-29-2007 at 11:41 am

  9. I would tell them that bathing daily will lead to a longer life…also about boiling water, cooking meat ALL the way, and tolerance of others of different cultures.

    posted by Julie on 11-29-2007 at 11:43 am

  10. The bigger question is, What part of the 14th century?

    1. Buy Da Vinci works NOW. Lots of them.

    2. When you look back on it in a few hundred years, that whole Indulgences thing is really going to make you guys look pretty silly…

    3. Wishful thinking and accusations of WMD’s are probably not the best way to stop the invasion of the Ottoman Turks…

    4. Two Words: Flush Toilets.

    Why the 14th century? The 15th century was so much more interesting!

    posted by Ashley on 11-29-2007 at 11:44 am

  11. I’d give them info on Steam engines and electricity.

    Imagine where we’d be if the industrial revolution started in the 1400’s instead of the 1800’s!!

    Actually, we’d all probably be dead from the earth being a complete garbage dump :)

    Yay!

    posted by Terrance on 11-29-2007 at 1:01 pm

  12. The Cylons Were Created by
    Man. They Rebelled. They Evolved. They Look and Feel Human. Some are
    programmed to think they are Human. There are many copies. And they have a
    Plan.

    posted by Cheng-Jih Chen on 11-29-2007 at 2:28 pm

  13. I would ask them to eliminate the ancestors of my arch-enemy Gary Bladnick. That way he would never be born and I would not have to share my cubicle with him.

    posted by Sniffbug on 11-30-2007 at 9:10 am

  14. Resistence is not futile. Oh, and try to keep junk food from making it big.

    posted by Lisa on 11-30-2007 at 10:40 am

  15. I look forward to seeing you at work on Monday, Steve (Sniffbug).

    posted by GBladnick on 11-30-2007 at 11:15 am

  16. Would the folks in the 14th Century be willing to listen and believe us? If so,

    Tell them to be tolerant of religion, religious zealots and that not all women are witches to be burned at the stake or tossed in the river weighted with rocks…

    Do not kill all the cats (black or otherwise) for they do a great job taking care of the rat population and that pesky black plague…

    wash your hands…always

    play with moldy bread and cheese…perhaps you’ll figure out how penicillin works…

    posted by donner on 11-30-2007 at 2:49 pm

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