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We have a copy of Joseph Cummins’ new book to give away. Anything for a Vote: Dirty Tricks, Cheap Shots, and October Surprises in U.S. Presidential Campaigns. Sounds fun. Here are a few excerpts:
1836: Congressman Davy Crockett accuses candidate Martin Van Buren of secretly wearing women’s clothing: “He is laced up in corsets!”
1912: Theodore Roosevelt is shot in the chest while preparing to give a campaign speech, then proceeds to deliver it anyway: “I don t know whether you fully understand that I have just been shot, but it takes more than that to kill a bull moose!”
1960: President Harry Truman advises voters that “if you vote for Richard Nixon, you might go to hell!”
When my friend Derek Lo was in high school, he ran a successful campaign for class president under the killer slogan “Aim High. Vote Lo.” It’s a shame he gave up politics for a career as an advertising executive – a field where having a personal slogan is considered very strange.
I’m mentioning DLo because a good slogan is your ticket to winning this book (plus we’ll throw in a free mental_floss t-shirt.) If you were running for office, what would you put on your bumper stickers? The person whose slogan gets our vote wins the book.
See also: Six Memorable Moments from Presidential–and VP–Debates
Comments (44)
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In fifth grade, a friend of mine was running for student council, and he was running against a girl named Halley Davis.
That was 21 years ago, and if you do the math, you’ll see that was right after the most recent passing of Halley’s Comet.
Her slogan: “If you missed Halley’s Comet, don’t miss Halley Davis!”
How can you compete against a large natural phenomenon like that!!!
posted by Dan on 11-28-2007 at 11:17 am
When governments fear the people there is liberty. When the people fear the government there is tyranny.
-Thomas Jefferson, third US president, architect and author (1743-1826)
posted by Chris Thorpe on 11-28-2007 at 11:17 am
In large caps across the top:
MUPPETS!
In smaller text below:
Tim Hinson – close enough.
posted by Tim on 11-28-2007 at 11:19 am
I’d never run for president, personally, because A) I’m a Jew and we all know how that works, and B) my mother advises that the White House is very drafty so I’d always have to “wear a sweater.” No one wants to see POTUS in a sweater.
But I’ve always been partial to FDR’s landmark campaign slogans, VOTE ROOSEVELT: F**K ALL THIS DEPRESSION BS! and ROOSEVELT: YOU WOULDN’T EVEN KNOW HE’S A CRIPPLE
Ah, those were the Good Old Days.
posted by Elvis Dingeldein on 11-28-2007 at 11:25 am
In middle school I ran for office by giving out Dum-Dum suckers with the attached slogan:
“Don’t be a sucker, vote for Tucker!”
Kids + candy = landslide victory
posted by Laura on 11-28-2007 at 11:34 am
How about “Vote Anthony! Why go for the lesser evil?”
posted by Anthony on 11-28-2007 at 11:34 am
Babies. Puppies. Witty Nickname.
(Replace witty nickname with my real name – which I am too chicken to post online, meaning I am probably not going to run for office anytime soon.)
posted by Witty Nickname on 11-28-2007 at 11:40 am
When I was a senior in high school, I decided to join the French club, but only if I could be president. My teacher warned me I would have to be voted for, but I didn’t listen. I just made signs instructing fellow French club members to “Vote for Sarah: Because I’m smarter than everyone else.” Needless to say, I won. Thanks.
My slogan would undoubtedly be the following:
“Vote for Sarah:
Put a square in the oval office!
(Maybe THAT’ll get your name back in your parents’ will.)”
posted by Sarah on 11-28-2007 at 11:57 am
Stacie Court: Why not?
posted by Stacie Court on 11-28-2007 at 11:58 am
“Kissing babies, and shaking hands since 1982″
posted by leah on 11-28-2007 at 12:16 pm
Some people say: “them four years of college will be the best years of your life”, vote for me and I’ll change your mind.
posted by chad on 11-28-2007 at 12:31 pm
My slogan? “VOTE FOR JANE – I’M GOING TO!”
posted by JaneM on 11-28-2007 at 12:34 pm
Vote for Doug! The gene pool’s too shallow to dive in for anyone else.
posted by doug on 11-28-2007 at 12:36 pm
If you are going to have a boob in the White House, why not have a pair of real big ones? Vote DeeAnne!
posted by DeeAnne on 11-28-2007 at 12:43 pm
In extremely small print:
Between your coffee and cell phone, how did you possibly manage to notice this? Oh, well, while you’re here – Vote for Roger! Now the light has probably changed, so start driving again.
This post reminded me of a ‘Headline’ from the Tonight Show a few weeks ago. Hope this link works:
http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3462/24.shtml#headline
posted by Roger on 11-28-2007 at 12:48 pm
I can’t think of a neat rhyme scheme or play on words involving my name, so I’m going to use a variation on Leah’s aforementioned slogan:
“Jordan Meyers – Shaking babies and kissing hands since ‘83″
posted by Jordan on 11-28-2007 at 1:00 pm
I’ll be aggressive here:
Vote for Beth or face Death.
posted by Beth on 11-28-2007 at 1:19 pm
“Sillstaw: At least it’s a better name than ‘Newt.’”
posted by Sillstaw on 11-28-2007 at 1:24 pm
“If you’re going to throw away your vote, at least throw it my way.”
posted by Tim on 11-28-2007 at 1:46 pm
You pronounce my last mic-loud (it’s Scottish, so the spelling is weird)and I’d find a running mate with a fitting last name so that our slogan could be something like…
“We hear you: McLeod and Clear”
posted by jeffcomedy on 11-28-2007 at 1:52 pm
duhdaduhda bringin sexy back
posted by v on 11-28-2007 at 2:49 pm
Casey ‘08. No skeletons in MY closet! (They’re all encased in concrete under my opponent’s garage!)
posted by Paul on 11-28-2007 at 3:05 pm
Kinky Friedman ran for governor of Texas last year. Needless to say his last name alone inspired many witty slogans. However, my favorite was, “Vote for Kinky, why the hell not?”. Too bad he lost…
posted by Brandi on 11-28-2007 at 3:19 pm
“Vote for me or the puppy dies” with a sad puppy face on the sticker.
“My criminal record is shorter than W’s”
“I pormise to fight the real enemy, Canadians”
“Vote for the ADD candidate…hey, look at that shiny object”
posted by Dusty on 11-28-2007 at 3:23 pm
Vote for Chia. She grows on you.
(Ha!)
posted by Chia on 11-28-2007 at 3:48 pm
I used Head and Shoulders Above The Rest (I’m 6′5″) for a class election in high school. Unfortunately an opponent put up a poster “Do you want a President with dandruff?” right next to it.
posted by Charles on 11-28-2007 at 4:29 pm
Vote for me this time and I’ll vote for you next time.
posted by DW on 11-28-2007 at 4:59 pm
Michael Moreau:
Because no man is an island unto himself.
posted by moreaumc on 11-28-2007 at 5:05 pm
Since my last name is spelled like the frequent occurence of days,”Daily”, I would probably have to do:
Daily News, Daily Bread- DAILY VOTE.
posted by Ashley Daily on 11-28-2007 at 5:51 pm
Vote for Jesse!
It’s like voting for FDR (minus the Polio)!
posted by Jesse on 11-28-2007 at 6:03 pm
Your Knight in Shining, Daniel Armour
posted by Daniel Armour on 11-28-2007 at 6:20 pm
VOTE MUFFY
Perfect fodder for Daily Show jokes
posted by Muffy on 11-28-2007 at 6:40 pm
“Jen Smith: Not Just Another Jane Doe Politico.”
posted by Jennifer on 11-28-2007 at 8:23 pm
Vote for Juliet – Why not let her take a stab at it?
posted by Juliet on 11-29-2007 at 1:38 am
“MAKE NO FUSS, JUST VOTE FOR GUS”
posted by gus on 11-29-2007 at 7:30 am
drop votes my way, and I’ll drop bombs there way!
posted by chad on 11-29-2007 at 7:34 am
“Vote Flair! One lucky voter wins $1,000!
(Odds better than the state Lottery)
posted by Janet on 11-29-2007 at 7:45 am
I was a campaign manager for a friend in high school named Fred. We handed out condoms in the hallway with stickers on them saying “Play it safe- Vote for Fred”
Another one I saw in a college campaign “The government will screw you anyway, you might as well vote for the attractive one.”
Another WINNING slogan- “Vote for Bob- Let’s see if things CAN get worse”
posted by Scott on 11-29-2007 at 11:53 am
I’d like to employ the K.I.S.S. principle on my bumper sticker:
I’m Keen on Ashley.
posted by Ashley Keen on 11-29-2007 at 11:58 am
When I was a junior in high school, a fellow with the last name of Huckleberry was running for senior class president. This was, coincidentally, the year Tombstone came out. His campaign “speech” consisted of walking out to the microphone and saying “I’m your Huckleberry”. Needless to say he won :-)
posted by Jason on 11-29-2007 at 12:43 pm
Miller Time: 4 More Beers
Now we know why bars are closed on election days!
posted by Steve Miller on 11-29-2007 at 1:33 pm
Austin..The name says Texas, but he’s never been there.
I’d instantly appeal to the Republican base, and the Democrats who want nothing to do with Texan politicians!
posted by Austin on 11-30-2007 at 1:28 am
The sun’ll come out, you’re welcome!
One of my friends decided to finally come to shakespeare club meeting one day. This meeting also happened to be club officer day. She put her name on the board and said, “If elected, I will attend Shakespeare Club” She’s club secretary to this day.
posted by Annie Xie on 12-1-2007 at 11:14 am
You’ll be cryer if you don’t vote for PRYOR!
-Rob Pryor
posted by Robert on 12-24-2007 at 1:01 pm