Phillip J. Fry

The delivery boy serves as the show’s 20th-century hero to the 30th-century’s cultural complications and technological imperfection. He also serves a personal tribute to some of the actors and creators involved with the show.

For instance, Matt Groening bestowed his main character with the name Phillip in honor of the late Phil Hartman, who had a long history with The Simpsons as Troy McClure and other characters. He was going to join up with Groening again for Futurama, but Hartman was killed by his wife before the show started.

The middle initial “J” stands as Groening’s personal tribute to animator and Rocky and Bullwinkle creator Jay Ward and Bullwinkle, who also shares the same middle initial. Fry isn’t the first of Groening’s characters whose middle name got an injection of vitamin “J.” Other characters include Abraham J. Simpson, Hubert J. Farnsworth, Bartholomew J. Simpson and (of course) Homer J. Simpson.

Turanga Leela

There has actually been a friendly debate brewing over the origins of this plucky, one-eyed alien babe’s name. Pop culture and most Wiki-related sites suggest that Groening and his Futurama cronies got the name from the British series Doctor Who, in which the Fourth Doctor, played by Tom Baker, is accompanied by a plucky brunette babe named Leela.

Her name actually comes from the most famous symphony by French composer Olivier Messiaen called “Turangalila,” according to an LA Weekly profile on Groening from 1999. The title is derived from two Sanskrit words: “turanga,” meaning “time,” and “lila,” meaning “play.” The artist described his piece as an expression of joy that is “superhuman, overflowing, dazzling and abandoned.” Throw in “busty” and “one-eyed” and you’ve got my favorite purple haired cyclops.

Bender Bending Rodriguez

TV’s greatest foul mouthed, chain-smoking, beer-swilling robot since Rosie from The Jetsons gets his first name from John Bender, the hard-edged, angry teen played by Judd Nelson in John Hughes’ classic coming of age film The Breakfast Club.

John DiMaggio, the long-time voice of the iconic robot character, describes the character’s voice as an audible mesh between Slim Pickens, “every drunk at the end of the bar in the Northeast” and a voice that a college buddy would do called “Charlie the sausage lover.” DiMaggio originally auditioned for the role of Professor Farnsworth using what we now know as Bender’s voice. Someone on the show suggested he audition for Bender in his professor voice and he scored the role, according to a DVD commentary from the first season. And speaking of the good doctor…

Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth

The scientist, inventor and distant nephew of the elder Fry (Wikipedia claims he is Fry’s great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great nephew) gets his name from real life inventor Philo T. Farnsworth, the man responsible for bringing the world the great invention of the first all-electric television and, by default, Futurama.

The role went to famed voice actor Billy West, who also voices Fry, Dr. Zoidberg and Earth President Richard M. Nixon. West and DiMaggio would often kill time between recording takes by playing a round of “Dueling Farnsworths,” according to the show’s DVD commentary.

Dr. John A. Zoidberg

Producer and co-creator David X. Cohen came up with the name for the perpetually poor crustacean physician from his childhood. Like most children of the 80s, Cohen spent his days dumping quarters into arcade game cabinets. He was inspired to create his own game on an Apple II computer called Zoid, a game he submitted to the Broderbund software company that created the popular line of Carmen Sandiego history and geography games. The company not only rejected the program, but they also misspelled Cohen’s name in the rejection letter.

Zoidberg’s voice, provided by West, is actually a combination of two impressions from West’s impressive voice arsenal: the reticent tone of character actor Lou Jacobi and the “marble mouth” of actor, singer and “Toastmaster General” George Jessel.

Zapp Brannigan

The bumbling and booming spaceship captain and military leader was supposed to be voiced by the late Phil Hartman. The character was created for him and modeled after his unmistakable, striking voice, but after Hartman was murdered, the role was given to West.

West based the voiced on the booming sounds of old-time radio DJs from his days in the AM and FM recording booths, a topic that West said he and Hartman often discussed before his untimely passing. The show’s creators and writers cleverly describe Brannigan’s personality as “if William Shatner ran the Enterprise, not James T. Kirk.”

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Let’s find out if you can tell J.K. Rowling creations from irritating skin conditions.

Take the Quiz: Harry Potter Character or Skin Disease?

Editor’s Note: We’re counting down this year’s most popular quizzes. At #8, here’s a quiz that combines wizardry and dermatology, which was originally posted July 15th.

The sixth Harry Potter movie hit theaters this summer. Wait, the sixth? In nine years? Does Hollywood have an anti-puberty spell for Daniel Radcliffe? Anyway, I devised this little test to see whether you can tell J.K. Rowling creations from irritating skin diseases.

Take the Quiz: Harry Potter Character or Skin Disease?

1. Kites

Just how could something as delicate and serene as a kite turn into a harbinger of death, doom and destruction? Easy—turn it into a sport. An annual kite festival in Pakistan has become a regular safety hazard due to its highly competitive nature. Some contestants use a banned string with tiny metal serrations to cut their competitors out of the sky, and that has ended up harming and even killing people. Nine were killed and dozens were injured in a 2004 festival when the metal strings touched power lines and even cut a young girl on the throat. The Pakistan Supreme Court banned kite flying the following year, but lifted it for 15 days in 2007 after the local government promised tougher safety measures. Another 10 people died in the 2007 festival and over 700 were arrested for using the sharpened twine.

2. The View-Master

This magic virtual transporter took children to all sorts of exotic and breathtaking locales, from the Black Hills of South Dakota to Barbie’s tenure as the island princess. The factory in Beaverton, Oregon, where the View-Master was made, also took their workers to some far off places—mainly the hospital. The state’s Department of Human Services found in 1998 that a drinking well used by workers at the plant contained an industrial solvent called “tricholoroethylene” at concentrations of up to 1,670 parts per billion, a solvent that had been in the well for more than 20 years. A study conducted by the agency found “higher than expected percentages of deaths from pancreatic and kidney cancers” among the plant’s former workers.

3. Stuffed animals

The toy manufacturing industry has the unfortunate honor of having the largest and most destructive industrial fire on record. The Kader Toy Company hired sweatshop labor in Thailand to manufacture their stuffed toys. On May 10, 1993, a fire engulfed and destroyed three of the factory’s buildings and killed 188 people. An International Labour Organization investigation found the building had an alarm system, but it did not sound when the fire started. The buildings also did not have a sprinkler system, fireproofed steel or an emergency plan in place, even after a labour officer requested the company submit one after an earlier fire.

4. Bratz

Some once thought this popular line of tween dolls would dethrone the reign of Barbie. But Mattel quelled that rebellion when the company sued the doll’s “creators,” MGA Entertainment, and won a whopping $100 million for copyright infringement. A federal jury ruled that the doll’s creator, Carter Bryant, created and designed the concept while he worked for Mattel. The toy giant originally asked for $1.8 billion, so Barbie could start her own space program. Speak of the devil who wears Prada…

5. Barbie

The toy icon is far from controversy as well. A number of controversial dolls were unleashed on the public, like the “Teen Talk Barbie” that exclaimed “Math class is tough.” But the funniest of the crowd goes not to Barbie, but her cute dog Tanner, the first dog that shows children the joys of caring for a dog down to the creepiest detail. Tanner poops! It gets worse. The “pellets” Tanner leaves behind have to be fed back to him as food. The Consumer Product Safety Commission issued a recall of the toy because of some loose (ahem) magnets. I guess the CPSC can’t recall something based on its lack of taste.

Danny Gallagher is a writer living in Texas. He can be found on the web at dannygallagher.net and on Twitter.

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Hollywood has tried to explain away the cheeriness and unending generosity of Santa to meet all sorts of sordid and disturbing plotlines with varying degrees of success and failure—but mostly failure. These are the Santa Clauses who never knew the meaning of the word “nice.”

1. The evil Santa from Santa’s Slay

Former WWE phenomenon Goldberg donned the red hat and coat for this high budget, lowbrow slasher comedy about Santa’s evil side. It seems the Santa we all know and love is just a harsh rouse that keeps the evil Satan (Santa, Satan—how could we BE so blind?!?) in check. Unfortunately, the clause on Claus’ contract has expired and the not-so-jolly one goes on a Christmas murder spree in which he punctuates each kill with more groan-worthy puns than a Norm Crosby special co-hosted by Charlie Manson.

2. The evil serial killer Santa from Silent Night, Deadly Night and Silent Night, Deadly Night 2

Killer Santa Claus movies are a dime a dozen these days, but back in the early 1980s, the concept was fairly new, and this Christmas slay fest got a lot of attention when it hit the theaters. The antagonist, Billy, played by soap opera star Robert Brian Wilson, witnesses his parents being murdered by someone dressed as Santa. When he grows up, he kills people in the same costume in all sorts of festive ways (impaling horny teens with reindeer antlers, decapitating a bully as he sleds down a hill, the usual). The film caused quite a stir and even boycotts, but film critic Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert told parents to beware for a much different reason: It stinks.

The sequel didn’t fare much better, but it did feature perhaps the strangest kill-line in movie history:

3. The evil escaped lunatic dressed as Santa from Tales from the Crypt

The pilot episode of HBO’s long-running horror serial featured a tale of holiday horror taken straight from the pages of William M. Gaines’ EC comic The Vault of Horror. “And All Through the House” tells the twisted story of a woman who has just murdered her husband on the same night a homicidal mental patient has escaped a local hospital dressed as Santa. In the climatic final scene, the woman’s little girl lets the killer in the house, believing him to be Santa. It ends with a long and ridiculous scream from the woman realizing she’s about to be chopped like a moist fruitcake (assuming that fruitcake is moist; I’ve never had the guts to try one). The ridiculously long and loud screaming was a stage direction from Gaines himself, who appeared on the set along with director Robert Zemeckis.

4. The evil robot Santa from Futurama

In the future, the Friendly Robot Company (not to be confused Mom’s Friendly Robot Company) built a robotic Santa that could do the same work as Santa on Christmas, but also improve on Santa by existing. Unfortunately, the software used to help Robot Santa judge who is naughty and nice wasn’t specific enough, so he not only judges everyone as naughty, but punishes them with everything from mean guard dogs that bark “Jingle Bells” to his “tow missile.” The voice of Robot Santa was first provided by John Goodman, but John DiMaggio, voice of lovable ol’ Bender, took over for Goodman in the subsequent episodes.

5. The evil alien band disguised as Santa from Doctor Who

Yes, Virginia, it seems that not even a crazy science-fiction epic like Doctor Who is exempt from the TV Christmas special requirement. The 2005 reincarnation starring David Tennant in his first full episode as the good doctor takes place just before Christmas, as the Tardis crash lands in London. Since he has just undergone regeneration and needs time to rest, Rose and Mickey go shopping and are attacked by a band of instrument-toting aliens dressed as Santas known as the Sycorax who aim to control the human race, just like every other alien race that invades the Earth. Seriously, did every non-Earth race of beings have a meeting and decide they each needed to try to take over the Earth one at a time?

6. The evil self-cloning Santa from The Tick

We know. Santa already has millions of clones posted in shopping malls and Christmas villages all over the world so he can keep a better eye on us and learn what we want for Christmas. (He even makes them bathe in gin every morning just to throw us off his tracks.) This Santa, however, can actually clone himself—and he’s evil. A criminal dressed as Santa, nicknamed “Multiple Santa,” realizes he can harness the power of electricity to create a never-ending army of himself, which just happen to be obedient Santas that only have enough intelligence to follow orders and utter “Ho” as a language. When he hooks himself to the local power supply, he causes a “Santalanche.”

7. The criminal who stabs Nicholas Angel dressed as Father Christmas from Hot Fuzz

This evil Santa who stabbed Officer Nicholas Angel in the hand in the opening scene barely had two seconds of screen time in Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright’s second entry in their Blood and Ice Cream Trilogy. But the classic beard and hat do a good job hiding director Peter Jackson as the evil fat man behind the blade. The opening sequence also features fellow British director Garth Jennings, the man behind the big screen remake of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and the sleeper hit Son of Rambow, as the armed man in the SWAT team raid. (The Santa violence in this video is a bit graphic.)

Danny Gallagher is a freelance writer, reporter and humorist living in Texas. He can be found on the web at dannygallagher.net and on Twitter.

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1. The Boston Molasses Flood of 1919

A 50-foot high tank of sweet syrupy goodness stood over the North End of Boston when the massive steel behemoth burst open on an unusually warm January afternoon and violently drizzled over everything in its path, killing 21 people. The viscous liquid created quite a disturbing sound as it coated two city blocks. A Boston Herald reporter described how the sweet syrup tidal waves created a “muffled roar [that] burst suddenly upon the air.” It also moved quite fast as it slithered through the town into a destructive fist that flipped houses and buildings, knocked over horses as if they were tasty slices of French toast and even smashed an elevated railroad structure “like an eggshell.” If you’re suddenly thinking about making an IHOP run, seek counseling immediately.

2. The London Beer Flood of 1814

In 1814, Meux’s Horse Shoe Brewery in London constructed a brewing vat that was 22 feet tall and 60 feet in diameter, with an interior big enough to seat 200 for dinner — which is exactly how its completion was celebrated. (Why 200? Because a rival had built a vat that seated 100, of course.)

After the dinner, the vat was filled to capacity. Unfortunately, they overlooked a faulty supporting hoop. Yup, the vat ruptured, causing other vats to break, and the resulting commotion was heard up to 5 miles away.

A wall of 1.3 million gallons of dark beer washed down the street, caving in two buildings and killing nine people by means of “drowning, injury, poisoning by the porter fumes, or drunkenness.”

The story gets even more unbelievable, though. Rescue attempts were blocked and delayed by the thousands who flocked to the area to drink directly off the road. And when survivors were finally brought to the hospital, the other patients became convinced from the smell that the hospital was serving beer to every ward except theirs. A riot broke out, and even more people were left injured.

3. The Wales Tapioca Freighter Time Bomb of 1972

Tapioca might sound like an innocent treat that’s the favorite of toothless infants and toothless elderly the world over, but the right conditions can turn it into a bulky ship destroyer. The crew of the Swiss freighter Cassarate were hauling 1,500 tons of the stuff when a fire started in some timber in the upper holds. The freighter docked in Cardiff, Wales, so firefighters could extinguish the blaze the crew had kept under control for more than 25 days. But the fire wasn’t the ship’s biggest problem. The water from the firefighter’s hoses seeped into the cargo hold, and the fire started cooking the tapioca. The food swelled to massive size and raised concerns that 500 truckloads of the dessert treat could buckle the ship’s supports and sink it. Fortunately, crews were able to stamp out the fire and cool down the pudding before it could do any real damage to the ship’s supports, the town’s docks or the crew’s blood sugar levels.

[The story of the beer flood was written by Ian Lendler and originally appeared in mental_floss magazine.]

Danny Gallagher is a freelance writer, reporter, humorist and ghostbuster living in Texas. He can be found on the web at dannygallagher.net, on MySpace and on Twitter.

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Attaining the rank of Eagle Scout is one of the hardest things young men can do, along with controlling their volatile hormones and not getting laughed at by girls for participating in an organization whose uniform requires a scarf. Some, however, manage to persevere, complete the requirements and join the ranks that few have dared to reach. These are a few of those men…or are they?

Take the Quiz: Was He An Eagle Scout?

The sixth Harry Potter movie hit theaters early this morning. Wait, the sixth? In nine years? Does Hollywood have an anti-puberty spell for Daniel Radcliffe? Anyway, I devised this little test to see whether you can tell J.K. Rowling creations from irritating skin diseases.

Take the Quiz: Harry Potter Character or Skin Disease?