The ancient Greeks used clay and stone. The Romans, sponges and salt water. But the idea of a commercial product designed solely to wipe one’s bum? That started about 150 years ago, right here in the U.S.A.]]> Since the dawn of time, people have found nifty ways to clean up after the bathroom act. The most common solution was simply to grab what was at hand: coconuts, shells, snow, moss, hay, leaves, grass, corncobs, sheep’s wool—and, later, thanks to the printing press—newspapers, magazines, and pages of books. The ancient Greeks used clay and stone. The Romans, sponges and salt water. But the idea of a commercial product designed solely to wipe one’s bum? That started about 150 years ago, right here in the U.S.A. In less than a century, Uncle Sam’s marketing genius turned something disposable into something indispensable. 

How Toilet Paper Got on a Roll

The first products designed specifically to wipe one’s nethers were aloe-infused sheets of manila hemp dispensed from Kleenex-like boxes. They were invented in 1857 by a New York entrepreneur named Joseph Gayetty, who claimed his sheets prevented hemorrhoids. Gayetty was so proud of his therapeutic bathroom paper that he had his name printed on each sheet. But his success was limited. Americans soon grew accustomed to wiping with the Sears Roebuck catalog, and they saw no need to spend money on something that came in the mail for free.  

Toilet paper took its next leap forward in 1890, when two brothers named Clarence and E. Irvin Scott popularized the concept of toilet paper on a roll. The Scotts’ brand became more successful than Gayetty’s medicated wipes, in part because they built a steady trade selling toilet paper to hotels and drugstores. But it was still an uphill battle to get the public to openly buy the product, largely because Americans remained embarrassed by bodily functions. In fact, the Scott brothers were so ashamed of the nature of their work that they didn’t take proper credit for their innovation until 1902. 

“No one wanted to ask for it by name,” says Dave Praeger, author of Poop Culture: How America Is Shaped by Its Grossest National Product. “It was so taboo that you couldn’t even talk about the product.” By 1930, the German paper company Hakle began using the tag line, “Ask for a roll of Hakle and you won’t have to say toilet paper!” 

As time passed, toilet tissues slowly became an American staple. But widespread acceptance of the product didn’t officially occur until a new technology demanded it. At the end of the 19th century, more and more homes were being built with sit-down flush toilets tied to indoor plumbing systems. And because people required a product that could be flushed away with minimal damage to the pipes, corncobs and moss no longer cut it. In no time, toilet paper ads boasted that the product was recommended by both doctors and plumbers. 

The Strength of Going Soft

In the early 1900s, toilet paper was still being marketed as a medicinal item. But in 1928, the Hoberg Paper Company tried a different tack. On the advice of its ad men, the company introduced a brand called Charmin and fitted the product with a feminine logo that depicted a beautiful woman. The genius of the campaign was that by evincing softness and femininity, the company could avoid talking about toilet paper’s actual purpose. Charmin was enormously successful, and the tactic helped the brand survive the Great Depression. (It also helped that, in 1932, Charmin began marketing economy-size packs of four rolls.) Decades later, the dainty ladies were replaced with babies and bear cubs—advertising vehicles that still stock the aisles today. 
 

By the 1970s, America could no longer conceive of life without toilet paper. Case in point: In December 1973, Tonight Show host Johnny Carson joked about a toilet paper shortage during his opening monologue. But America didn’t laugh. Instead, TV watchers across the country ran out to their local grocery stores and bought up as much of the stuff as they could. In 1978, a TV Guide poll named Mr. Whipple—the affable grocer who implored customers, “Please don’t squeeze the Charmin”—the third best-known man in America, behind former President Richard Nixon and the Rev. Billy Graham. 

Currently, the United States spends more than $6 billion a year on toilet tissue—more than any other nation in the world. Americans, on average, use 57 squares a day and 50 lbs. a year.

Even still, the toilet paper market in the United States has largely plateaued. The real growth in the industry is happening in developing countries. There, it’s booming. Toilet paper revenues in Brazil alone have more than doubled since 2004. The radical upswing in sales is believed to be driven by a combination of changing demographics, social expectations, and disposable income. 

“The spread of globalization can kind of be measured by the spread of Western bathroom practices,” says Praeger. When average citizens in a country start buying toilet paper, wealth and consumerism have arrived. It signifies that people not only have extra cash to spend, but they’ve also come under the influence of Western marketing. 

America Without Toilet Paper

Even as the markets boom in developing nations, toilet paper manufacturers find themselves needing to charge more per roll to make a profit. That’s because production costs are rising. During the past few years, pulp has become more expensive, energy costs are rising, and even water is becoming scarce. Toilet paper companies may need to keep hiking up their prices. The question is, if toilet paper becomes a luxury item, can Americans live without it? 

The truth is that we did live without it, for a very long time. And even now, a lot of people do. In Japan, the Washlet—a toilet that comes equipped with a bidet and an air-blower—is growing increasingly popular. And all over the world, water remains one of the most common methods of self-cleaning. Many places in India, the Middle East, and Asia, for instance, still depend on a bucket and a spigot. But as our economy continues to circle the drain, will Americans part with their beloved toilet paper in order to adopt more money-saving measures? Or will we keep flushing our cash away? Praeger, for one, believes a toilet-paper apocalypse is hardly likely. After all, the American marketing machine is a powerful thing. 

This article originally appeared in mental_floss magazine. Toilet paper image courtesy of Cary Norton.

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Here are a few stories about everyone’s favorite redheaded orphan (no, the other redheaded orphan) and the woman who created her.]]> Last year marked the 100th anniversary of the publication of Anne of Green Gables, Lucy Maud Montgomery’s first book about Anne, the redheaded orphan of Canada’s Prince Edward Island, and her misadventures. But this year, Anne fans are in for a treat.

This week, the Anne of Green Gables canon (the Anne-on?) is expanding: Publisher Penguin is releasing the complete version of The Blythes Are Quoted, Montgomery’s very last installment in the Anne series. The book, dropped off at her publisher’s on the day of the author’s death in 1942, was published in part in 1974, lacking about 100 pages of stories and poems. This version includes 15 “new” short stories about Anne, as well as poetry ostensibly by the heroine and her son Walter, a soldier who died during World War I. The book is also a bit of a departure from the light-hearted optimism that marked Anne’s other appearances—this one includes references to some seriously dark subjects, such as murder, revenge, death, despair, bitterness, and reflects Montgomery’s own opposition to war.

With that in mind, here are a few facts about everyone’s favorite redheaded orphan (no, the other redheaded orphan) and the woman who created her:

Anne of Green Gables was the first of L.M. Montgomery’s books about Anne Shirley, a lonely redheaded orphan who comes to live with the middle-aged Cuthberts, the stern Marilla and her brother, Matthew, on Prince Edward Island. Anne is clever and supremely imaginative, if melodramatic and disposed to “getting into scrapes”—like the time she accidentally got her best friend Diana drunk on currant wine, or when she broke a slate over Gilbert Blythe’s head. Anne and her “queer ways” would go on to appear in 10 more books, becoming the Island’s brightest student, winning a scholarship and going to college, before coming back to Avonlea to marry Gilbert Blythe and raising six children.
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Anne of Green Gables was a massive hit when it was first published in 1908, so much so that publishers issued 10 printings of the book in the first year alone. Even Mark Twain was reportedly a fan, calling Anne “the dearest and most lovable child in fiction” since Lewis Carroll’s Alice. The following year, Anne was introduced to Europe, where she became an instant phenomenon. At least 50 million copies in 36 languages of Anne of Green Gables have been sold worldwide.
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Anne is huge in Japan. Like Harry Potter huge. Anne of Green Gables was translated into Japanese by a respected and well-known Japanese author; in 1952, when Japanese officials were looking for translations of enriching, inspirational Western literature to teach in schools, Anne became part of the Japanese curriculum. Japan fell head over heels for Anne, finding her red hair exotic, her hardworking attitude and kind nature endearing, and her story of winning over the town inspirational.
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Anne has become an entrenched part of Japanese culture: There is an Anne Academy, a nursing school nicknamed the “Green Gables School of Nursing,” and several national fan clubs. People get married in Anne-themed weddings, thousands of Japanese tourists visit Prince Edward Island each year, and surveys still consistently find that the book is the most favorite of young women across Japan. In 2008, Canada and Japan created anime-style Anne stamps featuring characters from the book. The stamps were so popular in Japan that they sold 10 million of the 15 million run in the first month of their release.
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During World War II, Polish soldiers were issued copies of Anne to take with them to the front, while on the home front, the books were a big part of the thriving black market. Feisty Anne was something of a hero who is even now celebrated:

This year, Polish celebrations of the 100th anniversary of the book’s European debut attracted thousands of teenagers and children, many dressed in costume and, reports say, “pumping their fists into the air.” The kids even mobbed the Canadian ambassador for his autograph when he showed up to open the celebration.

(The book was actually translated into Polish in 1912, but had arrived in other languages in 1909.)
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In 1934, Anne of Green Gables was made into a film—starring an actress named Anne Shirley in the title role. Shirley, who was at the time only 16 years old, was actually born Dawn Paris, but was so taken with the character Anne that she decided to take her name in real life as well. (More on Shirley here.)
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Anne is still big business: On Prince Edward Island, which jointly owns the trademarked term “Anne of Green Gables” with Montgomery’s heirs, Anne-fans can buy Anne tea sets, Anne straw hats, Anne candies, Anne note cards and pencils, Anne dolls, Anne cookbooks, and Anne light switches. Then there are the spin-offs, the movies, the mini-series, the stage musicals and plays; last year, an authorized prequel called Before Green Gables by 81-year-old Canadian author Budge Wilson was published with great success.
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Despite the inspirational, even borderline mawkish, stories that she wrote, L.M. Montgomery was not always a happy woman. Montgomery’s mother died when she was very young and her distant father sent her off to live with her severe Presbyterian grandparents. Unlike Anne, however, Montgomery was never able to win over her adoptive family and her childhood was not a happy one. When her father remarried, Montgomery was sent to live with her father’s new family, but less as a daughter and more as a live-in servant, pulled out of school to take care of her stepmother’s new baby.

Things on the home front never really got better for the budding author, even as her literary career began to take off: Three years after the publication of Anne, she married a minister who suffered from what was referred to at the time as “religious melancholia,” but was more likely clinical depression. Montgomery spent much her married life ministering to his increasingly demanding needs; even as she took care of her husband, however, she began suffering from her own depression and fierce mood swings.
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Montgomery died in 1942, allegedly of heart failure—but last year, Montgomery’s granddaughter revealed that the 67-year-old author had actually killed herself, overdosing on drugs and leaving a note in which she asked for forgiveness.
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When I was a little girl, my grandfather was a huge Anne fan. So much so that when I went on vacation with my grandparents in their RV (didn’t everyone’s grandparents have one of those in the ‘80s?), we headed straight up the coast to hop the ferry from Nova Scotia to Prince Edward Island. Along the way, we watched Disney’s film version, featuring Megan Follows as the feisty, melodramatic redhead with a penchant for playacting, and I tried to read the entire series of the Anne books. It was Anne-overload, but I loved it—because who doesn’t love Anne-with-an-‘e’?

Do you have any Anne memories? Do you love the redheaded heroine—or did you hate her?

What do we really know about these tasty denizens of a gummy candy world? Here’s a quick and dirty on gummy bears.]]> Ever since I can remember, I have been a confirmed gummy bear addict. I love gummy bears, particularly Haribo’s Gold Bears and Happy Cola (it does make me happy), but I’ll even deal in Trolli in a pinch. Of course, that the little, fruit-flavored gelatin bears are addictive shouldn’t be surprising—after all, in 1997, tobacco exec James Morgan, head of Philip Morris Co., claimed that tobacco is no more addictive than gummy bears.

But what do we really know about these tasty denizens of a gummy candy world? Here’s a quick and dirty on gummy bears:

In the Beginning…

In 1920, a poor confectionery factory worker in Bonn, Germany, decided that it was high time he struck out on his own. Armed with nothing but a bag of sugar, a marble slab, a kettle, an oven and a rolling pin, Hans Riegel began whipping up hard candies in his kitchen, which his wife would then deliver from the basket of her bike. The new company was called Haribo—a smash up of Hans Riegel of Bonn.

After two years of middling profits, the Riegels realized that they’d need a gimmick and fast to keep competitive. Noticing the popularity of the soft gelatin-based candies of their competitors and thinking, well, children like bears, the Riegels decided to make their next product a soft, fruit-flavored chew in the shape of a dancing bear (Tanzbär). The original bear was a bit taller and more svelte than the gummy bear (or, in German, gummibär) we all know and love, but it was an instant hit with children in Bonn.

By 1930, the two-man family operation had evolved into factory of 160. By the beginning of World War II, Haribo had more than 400 employees churning out 10 tons of candy each day. World War II was a disaster for the company—Hans Riegel, Sr. died, his two sons were prisoners of war, and Haribo was down to 30 employees—but the company limped on. When the two sons returned, they brought the company back from the edge and revived it such that by 1950, they employed more than 1,000 workers. From there, the world: Haribo consumed its confectionery competitors and built more factories in markets across Europe, changed its bear shape to the now classic, smushy Gold Bear shape, and entered the US in 1982.

The Secret Recipe

The exact recipe and method of production of the Haribo bears remains a closely guarded secret. And although there are many pretenders to the throne who’ve tried to usurp the gummy crown (Trolli, German inventors of the gummy worm, are a notable example), Haribo remains one of the largest manufacturers of gummy in the world, if not the biggest, producing more than 80 million bears a day for distribution the globe over.

The Bears Go Big Time

The bears had been popular in Germany and Europe for generations, but it wasn’t until the 1980s that American markets caught on the gummy craze. Soon, everything from dinosaurs to Dungeons & Dragons figures was being cast in gummy, although the bears remained the heart of the industry.

In 1985, even Disney stepped in to capitalize on the popularity of the little bears, with a cartoon featuring a family of bouncy anthropomorphized bears called The Adventures of the Gummi Bears.

The Gummi Bears, bouncing here, there, and everywhere, were a family of six bears, the sole survivors of the once great Gummi race decimated and forced into exile by humans jealous of their magical gummi powers. Living beneath a medieval human kingdom, the bears are discovered by a kind human boy who promises to keep their secret, but are constantly troubled by an evil Duke who knows of their existence and wants to steal their Gummiberry Juice, which was the secret to their bounce and was like PCP for humans. The show premiered on NBC in 1985, paving the way for the animation boom that was the Disney Afternoon, and lasted until 1991.

The Bears Go Even Bigger Time

This September, the world’s largest gummy bear went on sale online at VAT19.com. Weighing in at 5 pounds and standing 9-and-a-half inches tall, one single bear is the equivalent of 1,400 regular-sized bears. A diabetic nightmare, the bear offers five times your daily caloric intake in one go, with 12,600 calories. It comes in three flavors, blue raspberry, red cherry, and green apple, and is handcrafted in the USA. Should you be unable to consume the entire gummy animal in one sitting, it can last up to a year in plastic wrap in the fridge. For $30, that’s almost worth it.

The Bears Go Boob Time

Ever squished a gummy bear between your fingers and though, “Hmm… feels like boobies?” No? Well, me either, but evidently someone has—“gummy bear” breast implants have actually been on the market since 2005, FDA-approved since 2006. They’re not actual gummy bears, but they are made of a silicone gel material that mimics the firm but soft texture of the gummy bears.

Bear as Meme

In 2007, a green, squishy bear that danced in its orange underwear and sneakers to over-synthed techno muzak took YouTube by storm. Despite its twee bizarreness, the bear’s first song, “I Am Your Gummy Bear,” actually cracked the singles charts of Australia, Germany, Sweden, and a few others before its cuteness finally wore itself out. Of course, that didn’t stop the makers of the Gummy Bear from making more songs featuring the jiggly creature, hawking ringtones, and splashing his ditzy mug on t-shirts (available in adult and infant sizes).

Gummi Light image courtesy of Jellio.com.

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A few nights ago, Linda Rodriguez went to see Insane in the Brain, a stage production that bills itself as a “street dance” interpretation of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. This inspired her to dig up 10 other bizarre adaptations that have graced the stage.]]> A few nights ago, I went to see Insane in the Brain, a stage production that bills itself as a “street dance” interpretation of Ken Kesey’s One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. No, really, I did.

At first blush, the premise sounds absolutely bizarre and not just because it takes its title from a Cypress Hill song. But the show itself was certainly fascinating: When it was good, it was very good—one patient’s OCD tics become a choreography of their own, the scenes of electro-shock therapy were an electric midair acrobatic dance. When it wasn’t good, it was simply a bit disappointing—most dancers are not actors and some of the choices they made were a bit odd.

In any case, it got me thinking—in this era of mash-ups, what are some of the most interesting, most bizarre, most fascinating adaptations that have graced the stage? Here are ten more examples.

1. Carrie: The Musical

If you’ve ever read Stephen King’s novel about a sheltered girl with astounding telekinetic powers and a religious nut for a mother who ends up doused in pig’s blood and slaughtering her classmates, and thought, “You know, there’s a musical in there”—well, you aren’t alone.

In the mid-1980s, after the book had been made into a very successful movie starring Sissy Spacek as the titular Carrie, some major Broadway talent came together to adapt the novel into a musical. In 1988, the show made it to Broadway, at a cost of $8 million and with veteran stage actress Betty Buckley.

But despite all that seemed to be going for it—a good cast, choreography by Debbie Allen, lyrics by an award-winning songwriter—the musical has become the granddaddy of all Broadway flops. While audience reaction to the show was mixed, the reviews were not. Overwhelmingly negative, they scared off the show’s investors, who pulled the plug after only five performances.

If you visit carriethemusical.com, you can even watch the performance, although the video quality is rather poor. The opening number includes a kick-line and it all goes downhill from there. Carrie even does a dance number with her telekinetically animated prom dress.

2. Jane Eyre: The Musical

Again, if you’ve ever read Jane Eyre and thought Charlotte Bronte’s gothic romance featuring scenes of draconian punishment, a madwoman in the attic, and a mysterious, sometimes cruel and yet somehow still lovable employer, and thought, “Musical!”—you’ve been beaten to the punch. In 1995, a musical drama version of the book premiered in Wichita, Kansas, received good reviews, and ultimately made its way to Broadway in 2000. There, it did pretty well—the show received a Tony nomination for Best Musical and Best Actress in a Musical, among several other nominations.

3. High Fidelity: The Musical

Even though the 1995 Nick Hornby book and the 2000 film starring John Cusack and Jack Black were ostensibly about music, this does not necessarily mean the story should be set to music. While it was probably damned from the start, the 2006 musical version of High Fidelity suffered from a bland script featuring indistinct shaggy hipster-type characters, incidental dancing, and the difficult task of writing songs that would fit a cult hit about being snobbish about music. The Broadway show opened to largely negative reviews and closed after 14 performances.

4. Debbie Does Dallas: The Musical

In 2001, Debbie did something that she certainly hadn’t done in the seminal (sorry) 1978 porno movie about a small-town cheerleader trying to earn enough money to get to Dallas in order to try out for the fictional “Texas Cowgirls” cheerleading team—she sang. The show, created for the New York International Fringe Festival, doesn’t actually contain a ton of nudity or sexual acts (prompting some audiences to decry it as a tease), but it does follow the essential plot of the original film, with songs, dances, and a lot of innuendo filling in the sexy bits.

5. Lizzie Borden: The Rock Musical

Musicals have been made from stranger stuff—think on the premise of Cats—in the past, but murder isn’t usually a place they go (well, except Carrie). But for roughly 20 years, a show has been floating around that does just that—Lizzie Borden, the rock musical.

Opening to good reviews in New York this week, Lizzie Borden assumes that Borden, who was acquitted of murdering her father and stepmother with an axe in 1892, was actually guilty and, armed with that, goes on to develop other, possibly more apocryphal plotlines: Lesbianism, incest, and decapitated pigeons all make an appearance.

6. Lord of the Rings: The Musical

Despite the magnificent treatment given to the trilogy by Peter Jackson, someone still thought more could be done to mine this particular treasure trove, and decided a musical was clearly in order. In 2006, an incredibly long musical version of the beloved story was produced at immense cost at Toronto’s Princess of Wales Theatre, before going on to open in 2007 on the London stage. Reviews were mixed—some found the epic production enchanting, its stage direction enlightened, and others, like the reviewer from The New York Times, found it a muddled mess of twee hobbits, amateur acting, and affected D&D dialogue. The show closed in July 2008.

But fear not for the denizens of Middle Earth: The show is now going on the road and could soon be rolling into a civic center near you, Ents, Elves, and elevenses and all, if you live in Europe or Australia.

7. Ben Hur Live

For months, I’ve been seeing ads for a live production of Ben Hur, the story of a first century Jewish slave who becomes king of the Roman chariot races, and I have to admit, it looks kind of awesome. Not because I’m an especial fan of the story, which was first penned in 1880 by Lew Wallace and later made into a blockbuster film starring Charlton Heston in 1959, but because the show stars 46 horses, 120 doves and two eagles, features a sea battle and a gladiator fight, in addition to the famous chariot race, and it’s all done in Latin and Aramic. It’s like a monster truck rally, only way, way, way more epic. And way, way, way more expensive: It’s going to cost £19 million to keep the show running through Christmas.

The show premiered in London’s O2 Arena on September 17 and unfortunately, I don’t have tickets as yet. Equally as unfortunate, reviews haven’t been good so far, so maybe I’ll pass.

However, what is also interesting to note is that this isn’t the only stage adaptation of the multi-part biblical-historical fiction novel: When Ben Hur premiered on a West End stage in 1902, the climactic chariot scene involved four teams of horses galloping full-tilt on a giant treadmill, which in turn powered the revolving scenery panel behind them, and dragging the chariots on railroad tracks behind them.

8. Dance of the Vampire (it’s huge in Germany)

Dance of the Vampire is a 1997 German-language remake of a Roman Polanski film The Fearless Vampire Killers, set to music. Tanz Der Vampire, as it’s called in its native Germany, has been pretty successful there and throughout Eastern Europe, although the Broadway version, which suffered from substantial rewrites, was not well received, closing after only 56 performances and losing around $12 million.

But aside from being one of Broadway’s biggest flops, Tans Der Vampire is significant for its soundtrack, which broadly recycled ’80s hits and tunes from the composer’s lesser known projects. For example, Bonnie Tyler’s classic torch-song “Total Eclipse of the Heart” is refashioned here into “Totale Finsternis,” and that unforgettable track from Meatloaf’s Bat Out of Hell II, “Objects in the Rear View Mirror May Appear Closer Than They Are,” becomes the melody for “Die Unstillbare Gier”.

Notably, the original Polanski film starred the ill-fated Sharon Tate, who would later be murdered by the deranged Manson clan.

9. Anna Karenina, The Musical

Tales of thwarted love, all fraught with high emotion, tinged with melodrama, and rife with songs just about to be sung are excellent vehicles for musicals—just not all tales of thwarted love. In 1992, the producers of Anna Karenina, The Musical learned that the hard way. The reinvention of the tragic story of the married Anna, her affair with the charming Count Vronsky, and her ultimate suicide was a resounding flop.

The New York Times, reviewing it after opening night, said, “Every unhappy musical is unhappy in its own way, but no musical is more unfortunate than Anna Karenina, the travesty of Tolstoy’s novel that opened last night at Circle in the Square Theater.” Ouch. The show ran for 46 performances and, despite the poor reviews, was actually nominated for several Tony Awards.

10. Edward Scissorhands

And why not, really? The movie that solidified director Tim Burton’s reputation for dark, fairytale worlds of saturated color, wonderfully kitschy 1950s aesthetics, and deliciously twisted fantasy has been lovingly and successfully recreated for the stage. But not just any kind of stage. Directed by Matthew Bourne, whose other works include a dance version of Dorian Gray set in the modern world of fashion, Edward Scissorhands is a dance-heavy, dialogue-free musical that recreates the splendor and the subtle horror of the original film through movement and set design. As one commentator wrote, “the musical features everything you want in a show: Leather costumes, fake snow, and a man who has scissors for hands.”

(Image credit: Bill Cooper/Golden Gate [X]Press)
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By now you may have noticed a pattern: Tack “the musical” onto any classic original or weird story and you’ve got (generally unintended) comedy gold. Are there are any musicals or stage adaptations that strike you as silly? Any musicals you’d like to see? Thundercats: The Musical, perhaps?

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