An unidentified man in South Washington, Pennsylvania felt someone get into bed with him Wednesday morning. He assumed it was his girlfriend, but when he called her name, a male voice replied, “No it’s not.” The man jumped out of bed and grabbed a baseball bat while calling 911. Police came and arrested 33-year-old Michael Karanja Kamau. There were indications that Kamau had forced his way into the apartment. Kamau told police that he went inside the apartment because he was cold.

Man Wins Millions the Day After Divorce

The divorce case of Kevin Halstead Chorley, Lancashire, England was finalized on Friday. On Saturday, he bought a lottery ticket that paid off more than £2 million! If the divorce had taken any longer, he would be obliged to share half with his wife. However, Chorley and his new partner, along with another person who shared in the ticket, will be able to keep the money. Chorley’s former wife is not bothered by the turn of events.

Ex-wife Helen said: “We are the best of friends. In fact, we get on better now than when we were married.

“It couldn’t have happened to a nicer bloke. I wish him all the luck in the world – he deserves it.”

Celebrating a Clean Drug Test Leads to Overdose

Michael Edwin Berg of Plant City, Florida underwent a court-ordered drug screening last September and passed as clean. He wanted to celebrate, so he and friends began the party at Berg’s home, then to a bar where he obtained a bottle of morphine. The party moved to another home, where the 23-year-old Berg took the morphine and they all passed out around 3AM. Around 4:30 PM, friends called paramedics, who found him dead. Berg’s friend, 23-year-old Daniel Aleman, was arrested this week on charges of third-degree murder and delivery of morphine in the case.

Hacker Remotely Disables Over 100 Cars

A car dealership in Austin, Texas installs a device in cars that allows them to disable the vehicle, or make the horn blow, if a customer is overdue on car payments. The system was hacked last month and over 100 drivers found their cars would not start. Some had to disconnect the battery to stop the horn from blowing. Police arrested 20-year-old Omar Ramos-Lopez in connection with the prank. The company had recently terminated Ramos-Lopez’ employment, and investigators say he got into the system using another employee’s account. He was charged with computer intrusion.

Boy Left Behind at His Birthday Party

An unnamed boy in Warren, Michigan celebrated his third birthday Saturday with a party at pizza restaurant Caesarland. Then his parents left separately without him. The manager noticed the child at about 9PM and called police. The boy was placed in foster care. Both parents say they thought the boy was either with the other parent or with his grandmother. They realized he was missing on Sunday, but did not call police. It was Monday before they called the restaurant to ask about the child! Macomb County Prosecutor’s plans to file neglect and abandonment charges.

Surfing Alpaca

Surfing instructor Domingo Pianezzi of Lima, Peru, has has accomplished something no one else on record has done -he taught an alpaca to surf! His alpaca named Pisco wears a life jacket while surfing with Pianezzi, as alpacas are not natural swimmers.

The surfing teacher said: “I’ve surfed with a dog, a parrot, a hamster and a cat, but when I was at a competition in Australia I saw people surfing with kangaroos and koalas.

Pisco is seen on video hanging, er, hooves.

Premature Report of Death -Twice

77-year-old Theresa Fraser of Garden of Eden, Nova Scotia found her pension check had not been deposited in December. With a few phone calls, she found the Canadian government thought she had died when another woman with the same name passed away. Someone didn’t check the social security numbers. Fraser thought the matter was resolved when her check arrived in January. Then last week, Fraser received a letter from Canada Revenue asking for the return of the money they sent in January! The letter was addressed to “the estate of the late Theresa Fraser” with her proper social security number. Fraser again called the revenue office to straighten the matter out, but she is afraid it may happen yet again.

1. Super Villains

Techland presents March Madness: The Super Villain Edition. The four regions of the bracket are Rapture (video games), Oolong Island (sequential arts), Narnia (sci-fi and fantasy novels) and Phantom Zone (movies and TV). This could lead to some surreal matchups, as The Joker appears in two brackets, one from the movies and one from the comic books. Thanks to the game Castlevania, there are also two Draculas! Competition starts today.

2. Romance Novels

The Da Bwaha tournament for romance novels begins first round voting today. The field of 64 romance novels will be whittled down to one champion, and participants who have already filled out brackets can win prizes, including an iPad for the top bracktologist, and prizes as well for the author of the winning novel.

3. Beer Bracket

Jay Zeis likes beer. He fashioned a 64-beer bracket not to select the best beer, but to select which kinds to drink during the NCAA tournament. The beers will advance along the grid the same way the college teams do. For example, if #1 seed Kentucky wins tonight, Flying Dog Raging Bitch beer will advance to the next level as well, and will accompany Kentucky’s second game on Saturday (if they advance, haha). With two games going on at once in the first round, he’ll partake of four brands at a time. For Jay, it’s a win-win situation. Meanwhile, the Washington Post has a beer tournament you can vote on.

4. Cover Wars

Hidden Track is in pursuit of the best cover song. The tournament is down to sixteen songs which are all waiting for your votes today. Each contestant has an audio track available and many have videos to help you make up your mind as to which cover versions to vote for.

5. Video Games

Which is the best old-school video game, 16-bit or lower? Everyone has their favorite, and Armagamin, a nerdcastOnline tournament will decide an overall winner out of 48 classic games. They’re into round four, pitting Super Mario Brothers 3 against Street Fighter, Tetris against Sim City, The Legend of Zelda against Donkey Kong, and three other matchups. The winner should be crowned at the end of March.

6. Sci-Fi/Fantasy Characters

The Suvudu Cage Match to decide the top character in the sci-fi/fantasy world is into round two play. Vote now between Dumbledore and Raistlin Majere, Jaime Lannister and Cthulhu, and other matchups you’ll find in the sidebar. Images by Dominique Signoret and Michael Komarck.

7. Royalty

The webcomic The New Adventures of Queen Victoria has a really odd tournament in progress, pitting history’s royal figures against each other, with some fictional characters thrown in for good measure. Check out the bracket. The regions represent England, France, Russia, and Oz (as in the wizard, not Australia). You’ll need to mail your picks in, but you have until March 29th to do it.

8. Evil Movie Villains

Humor District wants you to decide who the most evil movie villain is. The tournament began with 64 horrible characters at the beginning of this month and is now down to the “sweet” sixteen. Hannibal Lecter was defeated by Gordon Gekko, and Darth Vader has been eliminated as well, but the other two #1 seeds, The Joker and Freddy Krueger are still in contention.

I’d also like to mention the Rachel Ray March Madness tournament to find the best pizzaria, which is already over. Another tournament, or it may be just a poll, hasn’t started yet at Consumerist. They’re looking for your input on the Worst Company in America. Special thanks to BroBible and their Ultimate Guide To March Madness On the Internet.

1. Muppet Madness

The 2010 Muppet Madness Tournament begins today. You can vote in the first round to eliminate half of the 32 Muppet contenders. The four divisions represent Sesame Street, The Muppet Show, Fraggle Rock, and everyone else. Some of the first round matchup will be hard to call, as Bert & Ernie go against The Count and Animal is up against Beaker. At least we won’t have to choose between Kermit and Miss Piggy until the third round. The winner will be announced on April 5th.

2. Korean Food

The food blog ZenKimchee teamed up with the Korean culture blog HiExpat to present the March Madness Korean food tournament. Cuisines from the regions of Seoul-Gyeonggi, Northern, Southern, and Central make up the four divisions. There are no brackets to download -in fact, wildcard dishes may be added if there is enough demand. Regional playoffs pit recipes against each other. You can vote on contests in the sidebar, but you shouldn’t unless you are familiar with the dishes in competition.

3. Tournament of Books

The Morning News Tournament of Books is an annual event sponsored by Powells Books. The tournament began with 16 works of literary fiction published in 2009. The opening round is going on now. Unlike the other tournaments featured here, this one is decided by celebrity judges (different judges for each tournament level) who individually decide various matchups.

4. Hulu’s Best in Show

Video service Hulu is running their own tournament to rank this season’s most interesting TV shows. Already in week #3, the brackets are down to eight contenders, House, Burn Notice, Lost, Parenthood, Community, Parks and Recreation, The Simpsons, and Castle. Vote for your favorites now. The winners of each round are announced on Monday, with the final champion to be announced on April 5th.

5. Name of the Year

Name of the Year is an annual tournament of real people with unbelievable names. Last year’s winner was Barvkevious Mingo.  After fifteen years online (the contest has been going since the 80s), the management wasn’t sure if there would be enough worthy contenders for 2010. They received over 400 nominations! So far those have been winnowed down to 278 names, but the tournament bracket of 64 isn’t yet finalized. Bookmark the site to see if Coke Wisdom O’Neal, Nohjay Nimpson, God’s Power Offor, and Spontaneous Gordon make the cut. You will be asked to vote for the best.

6. Fug Madness 2010

Celebrity blog Go Fug Yourself is winnowing down 64 celebrities in their annual Fug Madness tournament. Celebrities are divided into the Cher, Madonna, Bjork, and Charro regions. Round one starts Thursday, but the play-in game between Ashlee and Jessica Simpson will begin today. The #1 seeds this year are  Leighton Meester, Rihanna, Taylor Momsen, and Lady Gaga.

7. Whedonverse Character Tourney

Buffyfest presents the March Madness Whedonverse Character Tourney to determine “the Worst of the Lot,” meaning characters from Joss Whedon’s television shows. The competition is currently into round two. See the entire bracket of characters.

8. Sneaker Tournament

Nike blog Sneaker News is having a tournament of shoes. Yes, there are enough current Nike sneaker models to pit 32 of them against each other and crown a winner according to your votes. Go figure. Round one voting is going on now in the Air Jordan Region.

If you know of other such online tournaments, please share them with us in the comments.

The Goofy Movie

No, I don’t know why anyone would want to recreate The Goofy Movie, but Ted Sowards rose to the challenge. Using the original audio track makes it just a bit easier. Comparing this to the original is a snap with the picture-in-picture feature. More shot-by-shot recreations just ahead.

Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Adaptation

Chris Strompolos and Eric Zala began working on a remake of Raiders of the Lost Ark in 1982, when they were only ten and eleven years old! The entire project took years, but the results are amazing. Vanity Fair detailed their story. This is only the first portion. For comparison, look in your video case or your memory will probably do just as well.

The Sopranos Opening

This time, the show is set in Pittsburgh! Compare with the original if you like. Or check out other remakes set in Melbourne or Baltimore or Quebec City or Dublin.

Separate Ways

Journey make the song a hit in 1983. You can see how well this remake of the video meshes with the original by keeping an eye on the picture-in-picture.

Perfect Strangers: Seattle Intro

The introduction to the TV show Perfect Strangers, recreated in Seattle. Compare this with the original in this side-by-side version.

Rocky IV Montage Scene

Compare this homemade remake with the cinematic original. The song is No Easy Way Out by Robert Tepper.

My Freeze Ray

A shot-by-shot parody of the song Laundry Day (My Freeze Ray) from Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog. Check out the original to see how spot-on these guys are, especially considering they put the remake together in just 48 hours.

On Tuesday, residents of the Stavropol Region in Southern Russia found their landscape covered with purple-tinged snow! Samples of the snow were taken that ranged from purple to dark brown. After analysis, experts concluded that the purple tinge was due to particles in the atmosphere that drifted up from Africa in a dust cyclone. This is not the first time the country has seen such an oddly-colored snow.

Black-market Enhancements Hospitalize Six Women

Six women in New Jersey were hospitalized for injuries they received during black market plastic surgery procedures to enhance their buttocks. The women wanted silicone injections, but the unlicensed practitioner did not use medical grade silicone. Instead, the women were injected with “a diluted version of nonmedical-grade silicone.”

“The same stuff you use to put caulk around the bathtub,” said Steven M. Marcus, executive and medical director of the New Jersey Poison Information and Education System, who learned about the bizarre procedures through a committee he sits on that monitors outbreaks in the metropolitan area.

The six victims underwent surgery and treatment with antibiotics, and are recovering. It is not yet known whether all six cases are related.

Cement Mixer Buries Cars

A cement truck parked near a construction site in Warsaw, Poland unexpectedly exploded, which sent cement flying through the neighborhood. One woman was seriously injured by the explosion. Dozens of cars were covered in cement so badly they are considered a total loss. To add insult to injury, neither the builder’s insurance nor the auto owners’ insurance want to cover such an unusual accident. No word yet on what caused the cement mixer to explode.

Nun Inherits Brothel

A woman identified only as Linda K died in Austria with an estate, but only one heir -a child she relinquished for adoption in Scotland 55 years ago. The daughter was traced to a convent near Glasgow, Scotland where she is now a nun. The unnamed nun was informed of her inheritance, which included a large sum of money and a working brothel! The surprised sister sold the business and donated the money, as well as her cash inheritance, to a charity in India.

Toilet Art Exhibit to Become Real Toilet

British artist Robert Olley painted Westoe Netty, a picture of six men and a boy at a row of urinals. The iconic painting became famous in the 1970s. The original toilet built in 1890 and depicted in the painting was salvaged by Olley’s friends in 1996 to avoid demolition. It was recently set up at Beamish museum in County Durham, England as an exhibit. However, museum patrons took the fixture for more than an exhibit, and used it accordingly. The exhibit was taken down -temporarily. It will be re-installed at the museum in an area that can be plumbed, so it will be both a cultural exhibit and a working urinal.

A Taste of Their Own Medicine

A van belonging to LBS Enforcement, a private company that enforces parking regulations, was out and about ready to put a wheel clamp on cars in violation in Southend-on-Sea, Essex, England. However, the Southend Council found that the vehicle’s owners had not shown proof of taxes paid, so government officials clamped and towed the van! An anonymous resident took pictures of the incident.

“I don’t think they were amused as one of them stuck a finger up.

“I took the pictures because it was so hilarious and I think a lot of people will be very pleased to see them get clamped for a change.”

An employee of LBS Enforcement blamed the matter on a clerical mixup. I’m sure they’ve heard that story before themselves.

German Police Summoned Over Forgotten Vibrator

Police in Bochum, Germany responded to a call from a woman who was concerned over suspicious noises in her apartment. They found the strange sound to be coming from a dresser drawer. With the resident’s permission, an officer opened the drawer, lifted the clothing inside, and found a “very personal, battery-operated object” that had somehow turned on. The woman’s face turned a different color and the police left shortly. No doubt they were in a hurry to go outside and laugh.