Every Friday, I post a series of unrelated questions meant to spark conversation in the comments. Answer one, answer all, respond to someone else’s reply, whatever you want. Very casual. On to this week’s topics of discussion…

1. A few years ago, we replaced our old radiators with baseboards. The guy we hired to do the work was a friend of a friend, and he was very nice and chatty. He told me all about his son—a wide receiver for Texas A&M. The details were impressive and crazy specific: “Last week he set the school record for receiving yards by a sophomore.” “He’s a bit undersized, but with the success of guys like Wes Welker”—then with the Dolphins and not very well known—”he might have a better chance of getting drafted in a couple years.” “He’s on the track team, too—Big 12 champion sprinter as a freshman!” He was such a proud dad.

Of course, he made the whole thing up. I Googled the man’s son—not because I didn’t believe him, but because I absolutely believed him, and I wanted to root for his kid, too. There was nobody by that name on the Texas A&M football team. Or at Texas A&M. Perplexed by the lie, I kept searching and found out the kid was an athlete. On his high school track team. Junior Varsity. Couldn’t find anyone else comparing him to Wes Welker, though.

People lie about stuff all the time. “I didn’t get your email!” “I’m not cheating on you with your brother!” “I did not eat your sandwich!” You can (probably) understand those. But what’s the most bizarre, completely unnecessary lie you’ve ever been told?

2. Did your college or high school have any non-traditional graduation requirements, either official or unofficial? (more…)

Every Friday, I post a series of unrelated questions meant to spark conversation in the comments. Answer one, answer all, respond to someone else’s reply, whatever you want. Very casual. On to this week’s topics of discussion…

1. “Would you like any M&M’s with that?”

I was buying cough medicine and an SD card. It was only natural the Walgreens cashier would ask.

More and more, retailers are trying to squeeze a few more dollars out of you at the register. Some of these efforts make sense. Batteries, for example. But others are a stretch. At a newsstand in the Port Authority Bus Terminal on Wednesday, I was asked if I needed a bottle of water to go with my gum. A big ad at the counter shows off the bottle, with the words “It’s Resealable!” doing their best to convince me. What’s the weirdest item you’ve been marketed during checkout?

2. Growing up, we lived near a guy who was really nice, but a bit too into the neighborhood kids for our parents’ comfort. (Two unrelated tangents: The first time we met him, the first words out of his mouth were, “Please don’t tell me who won the Red Sox-Blue Jays game. I taped it.” He also liked to dunk a mini-basketball in our 8-foot hoop when he didn’t think anyone was home.) On Halloween, he would invite the kids he recognized into his kitchen, where he was keeping the good candy—a full size Snickers bar and an ice-cold Coke. For the next few months, he would reference his generosity every time we interacted. We were all a little relieved when he moved.

That little anecdote doesn’t lead nicely into any particular question, so I’ll ask this one: What’s the strangest thing you ever received while trick-or-treating?

3. What’s something you’d really like to be good at, but know you’ll never put in the necessary time/effort? I am not very musical, but I’d love to play the harmonica. Seems like that would be a useful talent. Hearing people say, “Wow, I didn’t know you could play the harmonica!” would never get old.

That’s all for today. Happy Halloween!

[See all the previous Friday Happy Hour transcripts.]

Every Friday, I post a series of unrelated questions meant to spark conversation in the comments. Answer one, answer all, respond to someone else’s reply, whatever you want. Very casual. On to this week’s topics of discussion…

1. The other day my daughter and I were playing in the grass near a junior varsity girls’ soccer game. While I chased her around the field, I kept hearing one very loud voice berating the players. “What are you doing? Get your head in the game! This is HIGH SCHOOL SOCCER, ladies! This is embarrassing!” Sounded like a pretty intense coach, but he turned out to be a really crazy parent, ranting and raving behind the net. (I know this because he got on the coaches, too. All class.) I’m not sure how another mom or dad (or a stroke) hasn’t taken him down. What’s the craziest parental fan behavior you’ve witnessed? Sports, band, theater, or any other extra-curricular where the parents come watch.

2. A few weeks ago, we discussed our most memorable field trips. But what about the times the entertainment was brought to us in school? What were some of your best or worst school assemblies?

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Every Friday, I post a series of unrelated questions meant to spark conversation in the comments. Answer one, answer all, respond to someone else’s reply, whatever you want. Very casual. On to this week’s topics of discussion…

1. Let’s pretend you were granted the power to go back and alter your childhood in one important respect—the ability to add or reduce your number of siblings. Would you give yourself more brothers or sisters? Fewer?

2. We haven’t posted a “Best _____ of the Decade” question in a while. What invention this decade has had the greatest impact on your life?

(more…)

Today my wife and I are celebrating our five-year anniversary. I’m taking a half day, so half these questions are new and the other half I’ve asked before.

1. Growing up in North Jersey, we had our share of memorable field trips—The Land of Make Believe, Turtle Back Zoo, Waterloo Village, Hershey Park, and various museums in New York—but my clearest memory is about a trip that wasn’t taken. After the bombing of Pan-Am Flight 103, our scheduled field trip to Newark Airport was canceled. When a classmate asked our teacher what one thing had to do with the other, she said, “You might get kidnapped by terrorists.” It’s a wonder any of us ever flew again. What was your best, worst or most memorable field trip?

2. In honor of my anniversary, what were you doing (roughly) five years ago today? Ten years ago? Fifteen?

3. Earlier this year, I posted a round-up of unbelievable high school mascots. We might follow that up with a list of schools named after controversial people (or people you wouldn’t expect to have a school named in their honor). Would any schools in your area qualify?

4. Today’s last question comes from reader Missa Haas. She wanted me to ask readers to list their favorite scary books as we head towards Halloween. Her initial suggestion: Justin Evans’ A Good and Happy Child. What say you?

[Image courtesy of buelow. See transcripts of previous Friday Happy Hours]

1. Two times when I was a kid—once at a restaurant called The Boathouse in Sarasota, Florida—my dad was mistaken for Tom Hanks. Or at least he was mistaken for someone who looked a lot like Tom Hanks during the Big era. (The two have made wildly different hairstyle choices since the late-1980s, so the resemblance has faded.) The only famous person I’ve been told I look like is former St. Louis Rams coach Mike Martz, who is 28 years my senior. Though I did play a convincing Skipper one Halloween during my heavier just-after-college days. Who’s your famous doppelgänger?

2. A family friend always makes a huge fuss at restaurants when Pepsi isn’t available. (”You can’t find me a can of Pepsi back there?” he’s asked in my company at least a dozen times.) I understand people have a cola preference, but it’s unlikely the waiter was consulted on the restaurant’s choice of beverage distributor. Do you know someone who has a restaurant quirk that drives you crazy?

3. Looks like the Olympics aren’t coming to Chicago any time soon. Let’s pretend you’ve been appointed International Events Coordinator for the place you’re living now. What event or festival would be perfect for your town or city? (If one doesn’t exist, invent it.)

4. My wife, daughter and I are heading to an apple farm tomorrow, where we’ll load up on apples and cider and homemade cinnamon donuts. We’ve been going to this place for years, and it really doesn’t feel like fall until we do. What’s something you do every autumn?

[See all the previous Friday Happy Hour transcripts.]

Every Friday, I post a series of unrelated questions meant to spark conversation in the comments. Answer one, answer all, respond to someone else’s reply, whatever you want. Very casual. On to this week’s topics of discussion…

1. I’ve been having some bizarre dreams of late. Michael Jackson, alive and well and dancing, explaining to me why he’d never want to own an expansion NFL franchise. An elderly woman, small and pushy, trying to cut me in line at the supermarket. My dog, loud and whiny, deciding she needs to go for a walk at 3:44am (wait, that last one was real).

But for years, not being able to find my shoes has been a common theme in my dreams. Sometimes I’m at work, barefoot. Other times, my lack of proper footwear keeps me on the sidelines during an important sporting event—in these dreams, I’m occasionally involved in high-stakes high school football reunion games or pick-up basketball scrimmages with celebrities and historical figures. Those guys are brutal if you don’t bring your shoes.

These dreams aren’t exactly the stuff of blockbusters, and until three seconds ago, I’d never done any research on what they might mean (if you don’t consider Googling “dream interpretation shoes” and clicking on one link research, the streak continues). Here’s what I found: “If your forget your shoes, then it suggests that you are leaving restraints behind you. You are refusing to conform to some idea or attitude.”

I’m not buying it. I think I’m just craving a shoe tree. Do you have any weird recurring dreams?

2. A reader suggested this next question in a comment, but I can’t remember what post she was commenting on, and I’m not entirely sure I have the right reader. (more…)

Every Friday, I post a series of unrelated questions meant to spark conversation in the comments. Answer one, answer all, respond to someone else’s reply, whatever you want. Very casual. I’m a little out of it this morning; it’s day five of what I hope is a five-day cold. So rather than try any original thinking, I’m re-posting some questions I enjoyed from the last couple years.

1. What was the first movie you saw in a theater? (For me, it was the 1985 classic Follow That Bird.)

2. I love reading our local school district’s course catalog. I always find five classes I’d love to take and a dozen others to make snarky comments about. There’s always something crazy geared at helicopter parents (”Visualizing Success for Your Little Leaguer”) and a way-out-of-date computer class (”Mastering DOS”).

The only class I’ve actually taken was ballroom dancing, in the months leading up to my wedding. Anyone taken any memorable night school courses you’d recommend (or not recommend)? If you happen to have your local school’s catalog, what’s the strangest class being offered this semester?

3. One of the winners of our Admit Vice, Win Book contest was Amanda, who admitted her propensity to snoop:

“When people leave their e-mail up on the computer, I always look through it. I’ve even been regularly checking the e-mail of an ex-boyfriend from years ago who gave me his password. Leave me alone in your house? I will, without a doubt, snoop through your desk drawers, look into your bedroom (including under the bed, where the good stuff is), and see what you’ve tucked away at the back of the pantry.”

Now we all know Amanda is not alone. What’s the most shocking thing you’ve found while snooping? (Snooping stories not limited to closets and medicine cabinets. Think email, Googling, NSA files, etc.)

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Every Friday, I post a series of unrelated questions meant to spark conversation in the comments. Answer one, answer all, respond to someone else’s reply, whatever you want. Very casual. On to this week’s topics of discussion…

1. A couple years ago, I posted a quick guide to naming schools. I’m still waiting for the freelance school-naming projects to start rolling in. But last week I received an email from the principal of a new school opening in Happy Valley, Oregon, called Verne A. Duncan Elementary. The school needs a nickname. Any suggestions? They want something unique and tied to the region. (Anyone know anything about Happy Valley, Oregon?) I’ll send all your suggestions to the school’s principal. Perhaps you’ll be able to add “School Nickname Provider” to your resume.

2. I like to ask this question at least once a year. We all have colorful stories of terrible customer service. The most satisfying thing I’ve ever written was a running diary of my battles with Sprint Customer Care in 2007, which I posted on YesButNoButYes.com and led to the removal of a bogus $630 charge that had magically appeared on my bill. But I want to hear stories of good customer service. Have you had any restored-your-faith-in-humanity experiences with a company that treated you well?

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Every Friday, I post a series of unrelated questions meant to spark conversation in the comments. Answer one, answer all, respond to someone else’s reply, whatever you want. It’s casual. On to this week’s topics of discussion…

1. I recently found myself in a “Wow, am I really doing this?” moment at Stop & Shop, and not in a good or exciting way—I was returning grapes.

During my three-year stint as an A&P cashier (and Tuesday Night Front End Manager), I would have ridiculed anyone who returned produce moments after purchasing it. But these grapes were not sufficiently seedless. In fact, they were quite seedful, which ran counter to the packaging, on which the word “seedless” appeared in two languages. I received a full refund and was not asked to pay for the three grapes I’d already eaten. Big win for Team English.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever returned? (Or the weirdest reason you’ve given for returning something?)

2. What’s your last “Wow, am I really doing this?” moment?

3. The quirky neighbor is a sitcom staple. Eddie Haskel, Skippy Handelman, Steve Urkel—it’s practically a requirement of the genre. If you could have one sitcom neighbor move into the house, apartment or dorm room next door, who would you pick (and why)?

4. And for our weekly end-of-the-decade question, what was the best band to form and break up since 2000? (Or if that’s too hard, the best band to break up since 2000.)

[See all the previous Friday Happy Hour transcripts.]