1. She’s the Sheriff

She’s the Sheriff (1987-89) was a major slice of humble pie for Suzanne Somers. After spending several years on magazine covers and posters as a result of her success on Three’s Company, she found herself almost blacklisted after a salary dispute. Not only was she shown the door, the Three’s Company legal team also invoked a “cease and desist” order that essentially prevented Somers from accepting any roles that even remotely resembled Chrissy Snow. The major networks were reluctant to get involved in a potentially sticky situation, and the series offers that had been flooding her manager’s office were quietly rescinded. Desperate for work, Somers signed on for She’s the Sheriff, in which her character inherits Lakes County, Nevada’s most important law enforcement position after the death of her husband.

2. Small Wonder

Small Wonder always seems to rate tops on “bottom” lists, but the show had a four-year run (1985-89), so someone must have been watching it. Tiffany Brissette was suitably mechanical in her portrayal of Vicki, the Voice Input Child Identicant built by her robotics engineer father. Much of the humor was based on the fact that Vicki was incapable of emotion and interpreted most commands literally (a schtick Get Smart’s Hymie the Robot had already done to death). Tiffany Brissette eventually left the business and took up distance running. She has successfully placed in many marathons over the years, and is now in nursing school.

3. Out of This World

Out of This World aired from 1987-1991 and was one of many “aliens on Earth” sitcoms of that era. In this case, 13-year-old Evie Garland was the offspring of an Earthling mother (Saturday Night Fever’s Donna Pescow) and an unseen father from the planet Antareus. Evie communicated with dad via an illuminated cube similar to those decorative lights available at Spencer Gifts. Dad’s voice was provided by Burt Reynolds, who was in the midst of a “between Smokey and the Bandit Part 3 and Evening Shade” career lull.

4. Madame’s Place

Madame’s Place only ran for one season, but it seemed much longer because, unlike most sitcoms, it was filmed to air five episodes per week. The star of the show was ventriloquist Wayland Flowers’ sarcastic diva puppet, Madame. The series used an arsenal of attention-getting devices: Madame’s bawdy humor, celebrity guest stars on the talk show-within-a-show, and a scantily clad Landers sister, but it was usually banished to a late-night time slot in most markets and was never able to develop a large audience base.

5. Mama’s Family

Mama’s Family started out on NBC but was canceled in 1984 after one season. Lorimar Telepictures saw some potential in the series, however, and the show returned in syndicated form from 1986 through 1990. Rue McClanahan and Betty White were regulars during the NBC season but were unavailable for the syndicated version thanks to some other show they got involved with called The Golden Girls. Mama’s Family was actually inspired by this classic skit on The Carol Burnett Show; it was supposed to be a one-off, but was so well-received that it turned into a recurring bit:

6. Charles in Charge

Who didn’t want Charles in Charge of them? The answer is CBS apparently, since the network canned the series after one season in 1985. But Scott Baio still had enough of the teen idol vibe left over from his Happy Days stint that he was able to carry this show for an additional four years in syndication. The Pembroke Family, which had employed Charles as a babysitter during the show’s first season, moved to Seattle and sublet their home to the Powells. The Powell patriarch was in the military and consequently spent most of his time away from home, which gave Charles an excuse to continue to live downstairs rent-free. Apart from giving Meg Ryan one of her earliest TV appearances, Charles in Charge also afforded Baio the opportunity to get his feet wet as a director (which he did under the name “Scott Vincent Baio” in order to assert his Seriousness Credentials.)
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Let’s see who is brave enough to admit that they watched She’s the Sheriff just to see Suzanne in uniform, or that they know all the words to the Charles in Charge theme song.

1. Bill Cosby

Cosby Show fans will see a lot of Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable in Bill Cosby’s biography. In 1956, Cosby dropped out of high school and joined the Navy. While he trained as a medical corpsman, he also earned his high school diploma via a correspondence course. He was assigned for a time at Bethesda Naval Hospital, helping rehabilitate wounded Korean War veterans. He also excelled in basketball and track, and toured nationally with the Navy teams. When he left the Navy, it was with a scholarship to Temple University in hand.

2. James Doohan

James Doohan, Star Trek’s Scotty, was just 19 years old when he enlisted as a gunner in the Royal Canadian Artillery. He studied diligently and had worked his way up to the rank of Command Post Officer by the time he was sent to Normandy as part of the D-Day invasion. In command of 120 men in the 3rd Canadian Infantry Division, Doohan sustained machine gun wounds to his chest (a metal cigarette case saved his life), leg and hand. The hand wound resulted in a partial amputation of his right middle finger, an injury that was visible (despite his attempts to conceal it) in several episodes of Star Trek.

3. Ernest Borgnine

Who would’ve guessed that the conniving, wise-cracking Lt. Commander McHale (of McHale’s Navy fame) had actually served in the U.S. Navy? Ernest Borgnine enlisted not once, but twice: his first tour of duty was from 1935 to 1941, during which time he served aboard the USS Lamberton. When the United States entered World War II, he re-upped and was promoted to gunner’s mate first class. He was assigned to the USS Sylph, which patrolled for U-Boats and also tested new equipment.

4. Brian Keith

The benevolent (and wealthy!) uncle any kid wanted to call their own in the late 1960s was Family Affair’s Uncle Bill, played by Brian Keith. Keith joined the Marines after graduating from high school, and received an Air Medal after serving as a rear gunner in several actions on Rabal in the Pacific Theater during World War II.

5. Dennis Weaver

Dennis Weaver has carved out several niches in TV-land – he won an Emmy for playing Chester on Gunsmoke, he played Marshall Sam McCloud as part of the NBC Mystery Movie wheel series, and he was pursued by a faceless truck driver in the classic made-for-TVer Duel. He joined the Navy right out of high school and served as an F4U Fighter Pilot during World War II. When the war ended, he enrolled at the University of Oklahoma where he excelled in track and just missed qualifying for the 1948 Olympic team.

6. Ed McMahon

Ed McMahon will forever be remembered as Johnny Carson’s second banana on TV, but let the record show that he bested Johnny in terms of military service. Ed dropped out of Boston College when Pearl Harbor was attacked and joined the Marines with hopes of becoming a fighter pilot. He went through the necessary training and worked as a flight instructor for two years in Pensacola before finally getting his orders for the Pacific fleet in 1945. His orders were cancelled, however, when the U.S. dropped an atomic bomb on Hiroshima. McMahon was called back to active duty during the Korean War, where he flew unarmed single-engine spotter planes.
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These are obviously just a handful of famous veterans. Please feel free to share others in the comments.

From Milt to Soup

He was born Milton Supman to parents who had a habit of bestowing nicknames on their offspring. Milt’s older brothers had been dubbed “Hambone” and “Chicken Bone,” so when he came along he was unofficially christened “Soup Bone.” Soup Bone was eventually shortened to “Soupy,” and when he got his first professional job as a disc jockey he adopted “Hines” as his surname. As he gained popularity, management was worried that “Hines” sounded too much like Heinz, a company that sold soup. Soupy forestalled any potential conflict of interest entanglements by changing his last name to “Sales.”

White Fang

Soupy originally created the character of White Fang (later known as the meanest dog in all of Dee-troit) when he was in the Navy. Stationed aboard the USS Randall, he’d put together an onboard entertainment show broadcast via the ship’s PA system. Someone had an LP of The Hound of the Baskervilles, and Soupy used a sound effect on that record of a dog’s growl as the “voice” of White Fang. Soupy continued to use that growl after he left the Navy and landed a spot on WXYZ-TV in Detroit with the show that eventually evolved into Lunch with Soupy. Sound effects at that time were all provided by vinyl records, and it was the responsibility of the Electronic Transcription person to have all the records cued up and ready to play. One afternoon, the ET frantically mouthed down from his booth to stagehand Clyde Adler “I can’t find the record!” Adler, whose right arm encased in an elbow-length glove fashioned from an old winter coat served as White Fang on-camera, spontaneously uttered gutteral “Ruh-O-Row-O-Ruh” noises while manipulating the puppet. This new version of White Fang was an immediate hit, and added a new dimension to Soupy’s interaction with the character, since Adler (who was promoted from stagehand to puppeteer) could alter his grunts and growls to “reply” appropriately to Soupy’s dialogue.

X-Rated Soup

The atmosphere on Soupy’s set was relaxed, to say the least. The crew did their best to throw the boss off-guard, especially in the days when the show was broadcast live. One classic example occurred in 1959, when the crew arranged a very special surprise “present” for Soupy’s birthday. A woman’s scream prompted Soupy to open a stage door to see what was wrong. The TV audience could only guess at what was going on from his reaction and the musical cue (David Rose’s “The Stripper”). However, thanks to the uncut “blooper” reel that was eventually leaked, part two of this YouTube clip lets all of us in on the secret. (Warning: If black-and-white nude breasts are verboten at your place of employment, this clip is not safe for work.)

Fans in High Places

Soupy’s show moved from Detroit to Los Angeles in the early 1960s, and one of his biggest fans turned out to be Frank Sinatra, by way of his daughter Tina. Frank was a huge fan of slapstick comedy, and when Tina told him about this guy on TV who was as funny as the Three Stooges, he began tuning in daily. Frank appeared on Soupy’s show more than once (Sammy Davis Jr. even joined him once) and gamely accepted a pie in the puss each time.

Here Comes the Science

The pie-in-the-face schtick that became Soupy’s trademark originally featured real pies. Eventually budget restrictions dictated the switch to shaving cream-filled pie crusts. But the crusts had to be real. That was Soupy’s secret—real crusts exploded upon impact, and fell away from the victim’s face. The recipient’s dignity crumbled away, piece by piece, as the crust did. A pie that fully stuck to the face simply wasn’t funny. It became something of a status symbol to get pied by Soupy—even the most unlikely celebrities stopped by for a faceful of pastry.

Nanny State Rules

On January 1, 1965, Soupy was a bit put out at having to work on a holiday. During the closing moments of his show, he encouraged the kids who were watching to sneak into Mommy and Daddy’s bedroom and take those little green pieces of paper from their purses and wallets with pictures of presidents (like George Washington and Abraham Lincoln) on them and mail them to their ol’ pal Soup. He concluded by giving out the TV station’s address and promising to send the kids a postcard from Puerto Rico in exchange. Sales considered his remarks just another tossed-off ad-lib, meant to make his crew laugh. What he didn’t count on was the outrage of the many parents who’d been watching. The station received so many angry phone calls that Soupy was put on a two week suspension. In reality, very few children had the wherewithal to copy down the station’s address, get a postage stamp and actually mail a dollar bill to Soupy. His “punishment” was more or less a gesture on the part of management to appease the parents who’d been appalled at the possible anarchy Soupy Sales had inspired among their children.

1. Goldie Hawn
Goldie had a small role on the short-lived sitcom Good Morning, World, but it was her perpetually giggling, clueless blonde persona on Laugh-In that propelled her to stardom. Dancing in a bikini with wacky slogans painted all over body probably helped her to get noticed as well.

2. Lily Tomlin
Tomlin’s Ernestine the Telephone Operator was so popular that the Bell System offered her a $500,000 contract to film a series of commercials for them. She gave them a gracious “thanks, but no thanks.” Tomlin’s Edith Ann (who was five years old and spouted her monologues from a giant rocking chair) soon had the nation finishing their declarative sentences with “And that’s the truth!” followed by a Bronx cheer.

3. Henry Gibson
Gibson was sort of the Jack Handey of Laugh-In, except his deep thoughts usually rhymed:

“The Thumbnail.” A poem by Henry Gibson.
Did you ever stop to figure
Why the thumbnail is so hard?
Well it hasn’t any choice
With all that skin to guard.
It may look fat and pudgy
But it’s heart is good and true.
It’s prettier than a toenail
And easier to chew.

4. Sammy Davis, Jr.
Davis was a frequent guest on the show, and one of his trademark schticks, lifted from comedian Pigmeat Markham’s stage routine, launched yet another catchphrase, “here come da judge.”

5. Judy Carne
British actress Judy Carne (Burt Reynolds’ ex-wife) brought that oh-so-necessary-for-60s-credibility mod Carnaby Street touch to Laugh-In. She endured being assaulted week after week with water, flour, sandbags, you name it, just for announcing “It’s Sock It To Me Time!”

(The most famous Sock It To Me, so as not to disappoint those who came expecting the Nixon clip:)

6. Arte Johnson
Johnson’s most memorable character was Wolfgang, a German soldier who wasn’t aware that WW2 had ended. Clutching a cigarette, he’d peer from between some bushes and comment “Veeery interesting,” two words which eventually became as repeated as Fonzie’s “Aaaay.” Arte also portrayed lecherous old Tyrone F. Horneigh, who was forever trying to pick up Ruth Buzzi’s Gladys Ormphby on a park bench and getting whacked over the head for his trouble.

7. Ruth Buzzi
Ruth Buzzi was the only cast member to appear on every single episode of the show, and despite her versatility (she played everything from flight attendants to Southern belles to socialites), she was mainly known as spinster Gladys Ormphby. Gladys wore a visible hairnet, spent most of her time on a park bench, and wielded her purse like a weapon when approached by cads who were only interested in her body.

8. JoAnne Worley
JoAnne Worley was loud and larger-than-life—Carol Channing, Ethel Merman and Phyllis Diller all rolled into one. She would frequently trill her lines operatically rather than just speak them, and she had a special affinity for chicken jokes.

The Flying Fickle Finger of Fate is pointing at you! Share your Laugh-In memories, be they good or bad, with the rest of us.

Read all past installments of Kara’s TV-Holic series.

Cheers finished a lowly 77th in the ratings after its first season in 1982-83, performing poorly against Simon & Simon and Too Close for Comfort in its 9 p.m. Thursday time slot. Both Paramount and NBC believed in the show, however, and their tenacity certainly paid off. Cheers ended after 11 seasons, but only because Ted Danson decided to call it quits.

1. Why Sam Malone was originally a football player

The final two actors in contention for the role of ex-jock-turned-bar-owner Sam Malone were Fred Dryer and Ted Danson. The show’s original concept called for Sam to be a retired football player, and Dryer seemed perfect since he had spent 13 years as a defensive end in the NFL. But while Fred was new to acting, Ted had accumulated a handful of TV and film roles in the late 1970s and early 1980s. When Danson won the role, the back story was changed to make the character a former relief pitcher to better match Danson’s physique. Ted later revealed that he’d spent two weeks attending a bartending school in Burbank to prepare for his audition, only to find that (like most bartenders) most of his mixology was performed below sight level of the bar, out of camera range.

DID YOU KNOW? Fred Dryer appeared on a few Cheers episodes as TV sportsman Dave Richards. In real life, Dryer tried his hand at sportscasting after leaving the NFL, but decided he wasn’t cut out for it. Although he missed out with Cheers, Fred embarked on his own long-running TV series a couple years later: Hunter.

2. The Secret Behind the Crack in the Bar

Designed by Richard Sylbert, the Cheers set was loosely based on Boston’s Bull and Finch bar. Look closely and you’ll notice a “seam” down the center of the bar; it was built on a hinge so that the right half could swing out, allowing the wall to slide open to reveal Sam’s office. Designers installed lights underneath the bar so that Nick “Coach” Colasanto (who had difficulty memorizing lines) could read the script pages taped to the counter. It took 30 to 40 extras to fill up the pub set as “customers”; any less, and the bar looked too empty.

DID YOU KNOW? Kirstie Alley (as Rebecca Howe) appeared in more episodes of Cheers than did Shelley Long (as Diane Chambers).

3. How Cliff Clavin Lobbied for his Job

John Ratzenberger originally auditioned for the role of barfly Norm Peterson. When he lost that role to George Wendt, Ratzenberger asked the producers if they had written a “resident know-it-all” into their show. All bars have one, he pointed out. Thanks to his persistence, the character of mail carrier Cliff Clavin became a regular Cheers patron. Likewise, psychiatrist Dr. Frasier Crane was brought in at the beginning of Season 3 as a plot device to further the relationship between Sam and Diane. While he wasn’t intended to become a permanent cast member, Kelsey Grammer had a knack for making even the most mundane dialog funny. The audience loved him, so it wasn’t long before Frasier became a regular on the show.

DID YOU KNOW? Before John Ratzenberger made it big on Cheers, he had bit roles in some of Hollywood’s biggest blockbusters, including The Empire Strikes Back, Superman, and Gandhi.

4. The Secret of Norm’s Brew

Although the Cheers bar was fully functional (and many NBC after-hours parties were held on the set), the suds served to George Wendt weren’t exactly a tasty microbrew. In fact, it was “near beer,” with an alcohol content of 3.2 percent, and a pinch of salt added so that the mug kept a foamy head under the hot studio lights. And yes, poor George had to periodically sip that ghastly concoction in order to keep his character “real.”

DID YOU KNOW?: A few members of the Cheers cast had memorable roles in horror films: Ted Danson appeared in Creepshow, George Wendt in House, and Shelley Long in Caveman. (Okay, Caveman wasn’t horror, but it was horrible.)

5. Babies in the Bar?

Both Shelley Long and Rhea Perlman were pregnant at different times during the filming of Cheers. Shelley was with child near the end of the third season, and the producers opted to hide her under aprons and behind the bar. Rhea Perlman was allowed to “let it all hang out” when she was carrying her daughter at the end of season one because her character was known for being particularly fecund. The “Rebecca wants Sam to father her baby” story line was originally incorporated into the script because Kirstie Alley was pregnant. Sadly, she miscarried, so that plot was abandoned.

DID YOU KNOW? Rhea Perlman’s father, Phil, appeared as a bar patron in several episodes of Cheers over the years.

6. Loose Lips Sink Careers

Jay Thomas was the morning DJ at LA’s KPWR-Power 106 when he auditioned for (and won) the role of hockey star Eddie LeBec. He was brought back for several episodes in order to give Carla a story arc, and Eddie and Carla eventually wed on the show. Eddie might have made it to the series finale had Jay Thomas not taken a call on the air one morning asking him “What’s it like working on Cheers?” Thomas made several unflattering remarks about Rhea Perlman and having to kiss her… and Rhea happened to be listening to his show. Not surprisingly, a few weeks later Eddie LeBec was killed in a bizarre Zamboni accident.

DID YOU KNOW? Leah Remini, later to star in The King of Queens, appeared in two Cheers episodes as one of Carla’s daughters, Serafina.

As always, you’re welcome to weigh in with your opinions on Diane versus Rebecca, Coach versus Woody, and how a bar managed to function for 11 years when none of the patrons ever seemed to pay their tabs.

More from mental_floss…

1. First Class Toga Parties

For those who wondered what debauchery went on beyond that First Class curtain, Southern Airways laid the truth bare. Toga-clad stewardesses (they wouldn’t become “flight attendants” for another decade or so) peeled grapes and served champagne and cracked crab for that select group.

2. Fly Maggie

National Airlines raised the hackles of feminist organizations with their “Fly Me” campaign. Both TV and print ads featured fetching flight attendants inviting potential passengers to “fly them.” Exhibit A: Maggie and her two 747s. You don’t have to be Sigmund Freud to figure that one out.

3. Your Bags Will Arrive Safely. Got it?

I think the message this Eastern Airlines commercial was trying to convey was that your bags would always arrive with you at your destination. But…”My boys”? Spider? Rocco? Tiny? Is it just me, or does this whole commercial reek of “If you gotta complaint about de way deese mugs are handlin’ your baggage, I’ve got a pair of cement galoshes fitted just for you”?

4. The Strip Tease

It’s bad enough that Braniff International made their flight attendants change their outfits three times during a routine flight, but did they really need to promote that “feature” as some sort of in-flight striptease?

5. Hotpants

Remember what it was like before Southwest Airlines? You didn’t have hostesses in hot pants. As Dave Barry would say, I’m not making this up.

6. Take Your Mind off the Falling Engines

Several DC-10 airplane crashes in the late 1970s were traced back to design flaws in the aircraft, and for a short time the FAA grounded all DC-10s until the structural problems were solved. But pesky problems like engines falling off mid-air aside, doesn’t that Friendship Room in coach class look inviting?

7. Coach Ain’t What it Used to Be

Extra-wide seats and a steak dinner in Coach? That is old school. And why was such luxury available when flying east only? Did TWA presume that all their west-bound passengers were strictly the crunchy granola vegetarian types?

8. The Really Friendly Skies

This commercial dates back to 1958, but compared to air travel today, it might as well date back to the Stone Age. Look at the size of the lavatory, the restaurant booth-style seating areas, and the lobster dinner served on china plates. If I promise to dress in a June Cleaver-style suit while traveling, can we please return to this era for just a couple of weeks? Pretty please?

Read all past installments of Kara’s TV-Holic series.

Anthony Martignetti was nine years old when his family emigrated from Italy to the United States in 1966. They settled in Massachusetts, in a predominantly Italian neighborhood in Boston’s North End. It was there, three years later, that Anthony was hanging out with some friends when the group was approached by a pair of men who obviously didn’t live in the area. They asked for directions to Commercial Street, and Anthony politely guided the gentlemen. Those two men were representatives of Boston’s Jerome O’Leary advertising agency, which represented the Prince Macaroni Company (as it was then called). They were scouting locations for a TV commercial, and two weeks later when they were casting it, they recalled the nice little boy named Anthony who’d helped them out.

They tracked him down and asked if he’d like to be in a television commercial. Anthony dashed home and excitedly told his mother that he was going to be on TV. She immediately assumed the worst – that he’d gotten into trouble and was going to be on the six o’clock news. A few days later (after she’d calmed down and details were hammered out), contracts were signed and Anthony eventually netted about $25,000 for his mad dash to that apartment building on Powers Court. (By the way, the woman calling for him out the window in the commercial was not his real mother, but a neighborhood resident named Mary Fiumara.)

Catching up with Anthony

Anthony grew up, graduated from high school and got a job working at a Polaroid factory before eventually joining his family’s grocery business. When his parents retired and closed down shop in 1987, he got a job at the distribution center for Stop & Shop, an East Coast supermarket chain. Although today the company’s website boasts of their commitment to “diversity,” Martignetti’s supervisor, by many accounts, regularly referred to him as a “spaghetti bender” and “meatball,” in additional to a few far more offensive ethnic slurs. After filing complaints through corporate channels with no success, Martignetti sued his employer for discrimination. The suit was settled out of court in 2004 for an undisclosed sum. Today Anthony Martignetti works as an officer of the Dedham District Court. He is married and has a five-year-old son named Anthony Jr. Anthony Senior estimates that his family still dines on Prince spaghetti about four or five times per week.