Thieves Steal Twinkies, Leave Tracks

34-year-old James M. Denoon and 18-year-old Anthony Stout were arrested for theft in Kingsport, Tennessee last Friday night. Police investigated a break-in at the Merita Bread Company and simply followed footprints in the inch-deep snow which led them to the two men hiding under a truck near the bakery. They had about $300 worth of Twinkies, Zingers, cupcakes, and other snacks with them. Denoon and Stout were also charged with auto burglary.

Saved from the Ice by a Web Cam

A tourist in St. Peter-Ording, Germany was walking along the North Sea coastline, taking pictures of the ice and snow that covers the beach after a period of sub-zero temperatures. The unnamed German man became disoriented on the ice and could not find his way back, as night began to fall.

“He didn’t know where to go. He stopped because he was afraid,” police spokeswoman Kristen Stielow told SPIEGEL ONLINE. “With the unbroken snow and ice, you can’t tell where the shore ends and the sea begins.”

Meanwhile, an unidentified woman in Westerwald, Germany was watching the scene on a webcam hundreds of kilometers away. She saw the figure of a man with a flashlight and called police, Local authorities went to the beach and were able to guide the man back in with their vehicle headlights. After a safety lecture, the tourist was released.

Dog Likes to Hang Out on Roofs

Hayley is a Golden Retriever who lives in Mankato, Minnesota. Her master is Max DeMars of DeMars Construction. Hayley likes to be with Max and his crew, so much that she will climb a ladder to join them on upper floors and roofs under construction! The 10-year-old dog has followed her master’s construction jobs since she was a pup and has no trouble going up or down a ladder head first. She will even climb to a roof when no one is up there, if a ladder is available. Hayley’s fame has spread since a neighbor called police about a dog on a roof.

Rocket Sled Stunt Backfires

An unnamed 62-year-old man hosted a party in Oakland County, Michigan where one activity was sledding. After “consuming an unknown quantity of alcohol”, the man constructed a rocket by stuffing a muffler pipe with gunpowder, match heads, and gasoline. He got on a sled with the rocket and had another person light the fuse. As he was sliding down a hill, the device exploded and caused second-degree burns to his face and injury to one eye. No one else was hurt. The man was taken to a hospital and may face criminal charges.

Village Terrorized by Pheasant

Residents of Newsham, North Yorkshire, England are frightened of a rogue pheasant that attacks humans and pets. The bird hides in bushes and waits for its “prey”, which could be anyone or anything passing by. It has even been known to chase children exiting a school bus.

Efforts to catch the pheasant have so far failed. One villager said she was scared to go out. “It goes for you with its beak and its claws,” another added.

A postman in Newsham said he was frightened of the bird.

Unknowingly Stabbed in the Back

22-year-old Julia Popova was mugged on her way home from work in Moscow. She struggled with the purse-snatcher and was so shocked by the experience that she didn’t realize he’d left a 6-inch knife sticking in her neck at the top of her back. Her parents rushed her to a hospital, where the blade was removed. Fortunately, there was no damage to Popova’s spine. Warning: the picture accompanying the story may be disturbing.

Cigarette Explosion Knocks Out Man’s Teeth

31-year-old Andi Susanto of Jakarta, Indonesia, received compensation from a tobacco company after a cigarette exploded in his face and knocked out six of his teeth while he was riding his motorcycle. The cigarette company offered an immediate settlement, but is not planning a recall, at least until lab tests conducted by police are final. Susanto accepted the settlement, and said he was planning to give up smoking anyway.

Woman Falls, Rips Picasso Painting

A large painting by Pablo Picasso called “The Actor” hung in the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City. A woman who was attending an art class on Friday fell into the painting and caused a six-inch tear. The museum did not name the woman, and said that the damage occurred in the lower right corner of the painting. The tear will be repaired in time for a major Picasso retrospective opening at the museum on April 27th.

A Movie Made by Chimpanzees

Betsy Herrelko is working on a PhD in primate behavior. She gave specially-designed video cameras to a group of chimpanzees at the Edinburgh Zoo. The chimps were given lessons in how to use the equipment. The experiment took place over an 18-month period, and selected video clips were used to create a show called “Chimpcam” which was aired Wednesday on the BBC program Natural World.

The apes are unlikely to have actively tried to film any particular subject, or understand that by carrying Chimpcam around, they were making a film.

However, the result, as well as providing new information on how chimps like to see the world, may yet go down in television history.

US Planning to Relax Haggis Ban

Haggis fans in the United States may soon have their favorite dish available directly from Scotland. The US banned the import of certain British meats in 1989 amid fears of BSE, also known as Mad Cow Disease. The Department of Agriculture is now ready to relax those rules. Haggis was banned because it contains “offal ingredients such as sheep lungs.” Haggis manufacturers in Scotland are encouraged by the news, as they will be able to sell the dish for US tourists to take home and ship haggis to Scottish expatriates in America.

Man Superglues Phone to his Ear

It was an accident. Gye Gardner of the Northern Territory of Australia keeps his phone headset in his ear all day. Recently the truck driver hit his head against the boom of his truck and broke the earpiece. Gardner repaired it with superglue. Then his boss called him. Without thinking, Gardener put the piece in his ear to answer the call and drove about five minutes before he realized what he had done. The glue had dried, and the headset was firmly glued to his ear. Gardner considered using his knife to remove the phone, but for safety reasons, used a spoon. Some skin still came off along with the earpiece.

Dog Rescued 18 Miles from Land

A dog that came to be known as Baltic floated for 70 miles on a raft of ice before he was rescued by the crew of a Polish research vessel. He first became trapped in the Vistula river near the town of Torun, Poland on Friday. He was later seen 40 miles away in Grudziadz, where a rescue attempt was thwarted due to ice. Another 22 miles downriver, another rescue attempt failed. After that, he was thought to be dead. Baltic was finally hauled aboard the science vessel Baltica 18 miles out in the Baltic Sea on Monday. The crew first thought they spied a seal, but were surprised to see legs. Captain Jan Jachim says if no one claims the dog, Baltic will become the ship’s mascot.

Fired Over a Slice of Cheese

An employee of McDonalds in the Netherlands was fired last year for adding a slice of cheese to a hamburger. A co-worker had purchased a hamburger, then asked for cheese. The woman added the cheese without re-ringing the order and charging him the higher price for a cheeseburger. The company fired the unnamed woman in the town of Lemmer for breaking the rule against giving free food to family, friends, or co-workers. Last week, a Leeuwarden district court awarded the woman thousands of euros, saying her dismissal was too severe, and that a written warning would have been more appropriate.

Animal Menagerie Seized

Barbara Hoffman and Fred Lulling of Jefferson, Texas were arrested on charges of animal cruelty when the Marion County’s Sheriff’s Office seized over 50 animals from their home. Taken from the home were six tigers, one cougar, two panthers, one leopard, six goats, a sugar glider, six doves, three guinea pigs, parrots, pigeons, a wallaby, turtles, tarantulas, a coatimundi, iguanas, four boa constrictors, mice, one raccoon, one monkey, chickens, geese, one turkey, miniature horses and ponies, and dozens of dogs and cats. The animals had been kept in cages in several trailers on the property.

Fake Cop Arrested by Fake Prostitute

A police detective in Detroit was posing as a prostitute in a sting operation Wednesday. While she was talking to a man on the street, another man pulled up in a vehicle and flashed a badge. He followed the undercover detective, yelling to her that he was a cop. She replied that she was a cop, too, and he sped off. A nearby team of police officers from the Wayne County Sheriff’s department stopped the car and found a Detroit Police Department badge, police clothing, and a gun. The unnamed man was arrested on charges of impersonating a police officer.

Ski Resort Closed Due to Snow

CairnGorm Mountain ski resort in the highlands of Scotland was having the best winter skiing season ever, until this past week when the resort had to close because of snow! Operations manager Colin Matthew said 15-foot snow drifts blocked the roads.

“We had to contract in huge 17-tonne caterpillar earth-movers,” Mr Matthew added.

“We have got a single-track road up to our car park and we have to get snow-blowers in to widen the roads and make it two-way traffic before we get the public up.”

Driver Shoots His Way Out Of Submerged Car

An unnamed 28-year-old man was driving over a bridge in Roseville, California when his phone activated and startled him. He drove his station wagon into Pleasant Grove Creek, where it sank six to eight feet under water. He escaped by using his handgun to shoot out a window and swim to the surface. The man flagged down a passing car. An emergency crew treated him for cuts and scratches.

Couple Separated by Weather Finally Reunited

John and Kay Ure live in a former lighthouse keeper’s cottage at the edge of a cliff on the coast of northern Scotland. On December 19th, Kay Ure left to go buy a Christmas turkey in Inverness. Before she could return, a snowstorm blocked the road and she had to stay in the village of Durness, eleven miles from home. Days turned into weeks, and John Ure spent Christmas, New Years Day, and his birthday alone for the first time in 35 years. He was down to emergency rations when finally, on January 18th, Ure was able to negotiate the unpaved road that had been covered with ice, then cross the water by boat to retrieve his wife. He said reuniting with his wife was like a “second honeymoon”.

Kitten Rescued by Champion Climber

A kitten was stuck on a concrete ledge high above the ground in Spokane, Washington. 60-year-old Kay Leclaire passed by jogging and heard the cat cry for help. So she decided to climb up and get him. The trapped kitten lucked out, since Leclaire is a champion climber who has scaled Mount Everest and holds a record as the oldest woman to climb the highest peaks on all seven continents. The kitten was adopted almost immediately after his rescue.

Windpipe Transplanted Twice in Same Patient

Linda De Croock was injured in a traffic accident 25 years ago that left her with a crushed windpipe. Since then, her throat has been held open by metal stents until a new procedure in organ transplant gave her a new trachea. Dr. Pierre Delaere and his team at the University Hospital in Leuven, Belgium transplanted a windpipe from a cadaver into De Croock’s forearm to acclimate the patient to the new organ. Her tissue grew over the cartilage of the windpipe. They moved the trachea to her throat after several months. This technique meant that De Croock did not have to take anti-rejection drugs, which many organ recipients need for the rest of their lives.

Laurel and Hardy Face Drug Charges

Police in Kingston, Pennsylvania arrested Laurel and Hardy after they delivered 50 bags of cocaine to a home. Hardy was also found to have ten bags of marijuana in his possession. 31-year-old Carlos Laurel and 39-year-old Andre “Sug” Hardy were held at the Luzerne County Jail on several felony drug charges. Hardy is also charged with parole violation and Laurel with probation violation.

Floor Collapses at Swedish Weight Watchers Clinic

Around twenty weight-loss program participants were gathered for a weigh-in when the floor collapsed at the Weight Watchers clinic in Växjö, Sweden. No one was injured, so they took the scales and moved to a corridor to continue checking to see how much weight each had lost. The cause of the floor’s collapse is under investigation.

Chimpanzee Investor Outperforms Russian Bankers

A Russian circus chimpanzee named Lusha picked stocks that tripled in value over a year’s time. Lusha was presented with cubes representing 30 different stock options and selected eight to invest money in by picking the cubes. Her chosen portfolio outperformed 94% of Russian investment funds.

‘She bought successfully and her portfolio grew almost three times. She did better than almost the whole of the rest of the market,’ said editor of Russian Finance magazine Oleg Anisimov.

He questioned why so-called financial whizz-kids are still receiving hefty perks for their expertise .

‘Everyone is shocked. What are they getting their bonuses for? Maybe it’s worth sending them all to the circus.’

Balkan Hippo on the Loose

A female hippopotamus named Nikica swam out of her enclosure at a private zoo in Plavnica, Montenegro when flood waters rose over the fence. The two-ton hippo has remained close to the zoo, but cannot be rounded up until the flood recedes. Officials with the nation’s natural disasters commission called for the hippo to be shot before she can endanger human lives, but zoo owner Dragan Pejovic says Nikica is not dangerous. Nikica had stayed close to the zoo, where she is being fed bread and hay outside the zoo’s restaurant.

Traffic Reporter Crashes

If anyone should know how slick the roads are, it’s a local traffic reporter. Bob Herzog, who reports on traffic for WKRC in Cincinnati, slid on the ice and drove his car against a house around noon last Thursday. Herzog was not injured, and the house sustained only minor damage. The TV station immediately responded to capture video, which became the most popular local story of the day.

Cat Called for Jury Duty

Sal Esposito of East Boston has been summoned for jury duty. He just might be excused for being a cat, but so far he is expected to serve. Sal’s owners Guy and Anna Esposito think his name may have been pulled from census records, where he was listed as a pet. They asked that Sal be disqualified from service, but the jury commissioner denied Sal’s excuse. It the matter is not straightened out, the cat will have to show up at Suffolk Superior Court on March 23 for his tour of duty.

Woman Keeps Pet Snowball For 33 Years

Prena Thomas of Lakeland, Florida has an unusual “pet” she keeps in her freezer -a snowball! She made the snowball in 1977 and has kept it frozen safe in a bread bag ever since. Thomas occasionally takes it out to show to friends.

Thomas said that over the decades, she has never had a power outage that would destroy the cold hunk she says is precious to her.

“It’s just like a little pet,” she said.

Industrial Grinder Frees Man

An unnamed man in Southampton, England went to the local hospital to get his penis removed from a metal pipe. Medical personnel were unable to get the pipe off, as the man’s penis had swollen, so they gave him an anesthetic and called Hampshire Fire and Rescue Service. Firefighters carefully cut the pipe with a 4.5 inch industrial metal grinder. Hospital staff and the patient all held their breath during the delicate procedure, but the patient was freed without additional injury. The man was left bruised and swollen, but otherwise all right.

Escaping Prisoner Becomes Stuck

42-year-old Roberto Carrillo didn’t want to be in jail for New Years Eve. He tried to escape the cell in Valle Hermoso, Mexico by squeezing through a gap he saw where the roof met a wall of bars, but there wasn’t enough room. He became stuck hanging upside-down and had to be rescued by laughing guards.

A source at the jail told The Sun: ‘If he’d had a brain, it could have been embarrassing.’

Dragging a Coke Machine Down the Road

Nicholas Nunley needed a little cash, so he did what anyone would do -he hooked a Coke machine to his car and drove off! Deputies from the McMinn County Sheriff’s department in Riceville, Tennessee chased Nunley as sparks flew from the dragging machine Wednesday morning. The Coke machine eventually disconnected from the car, but Nunley drove on. He pulled over after a nearly five mile chase. Nunley was charged with theft and resisting arrest. The car chase was caught on video.

Missing Dog Turns Itself In

A lost dachshund in Bredstedt, Germany knew just where to go. The dog, named Druse vom Höllengrund had become lost while participating in a fox hunt on Saturday. Tuesday morning, she showed up at the municipal lost and found office just as they were opening for the day. A hunter who was in the building on other business recognized the dog. Druse was then quickly reunited with her owner.

Man Crashes Into Restaurant, Orders Breakfast

91-year-old Charles Pierce of Port Orange, Florida drove to the Biscuits ‘N’ Gravy restaurant Monday morning. While trying to park, he pressed the accelerator and crashed through the restaurant’s window. Inside, he got out of the car, sat down nearby, and ordered breakfast. Pierce was not injured, but another person was treated for minor injuries. Pierce was cited for careless driving.

Shaving a Fly’s Penis with a Laser

Male flies have penises covered with spines and hooks. To figure out what the purpose of those spines are, researchers Michal Polak and Arash Rashed of the University of Cincinnati removed the spines to see what would happen.

Their spines are too small to cut off by hand. So the duo used a laser instead, wielding the light with such surgical precision that they could cut off a third of each millimetre-long spine, or the entire structure.

They found that a partial shave did nothing, but the full treatment significantly reduced the odds of the males mating with females.

The conclusion is that the fly’s penis hairs act as Velcro, to grasp the female long enough to inject sperm.

Peeping Tom Photographs Himself

Police in Cheshire, England are investigating the case of a man who installed a camera in a fitting room at the Asda department store. Finding him should be easy as he left crucial evidence behind. He did not make sure the camera was off while he installed it, so pictures of the peeping tom in the act of placing the device were found in the camera. A photograph was published, and anyone who recognizes the perpetrator is urged to call police.

Watch for Falling Iguanas

Unusually cold temperatures in southern Florida are causing a novel problem -falling iguanas. Iguanas are an invasive species in Florida due to pet owners abandoning the lizards. When the temperature falls below 40 degrees, they automatically begin to hibernate and fall out of the trees they live in. There has been at least one case of a man picking up what he thought were dead iguanas which revived in the warmth of his car and caused chaos for the driver.

Water Lowered for Farting Turtles

The staff at the Great Yarmouth Sea Life Centre in Norfolk, England learned their lesson last year, when farting turtles set off overflow alarms at another aquarium. The turtles get a Christmas treat of Brussels sprouts, which cause gas in turtles as they do in humans. When feeding sprouts to the turtles this year, the Norfolk aquarium has emptied out thousands of liters and lowered the water level to keep the expected bubbles from splashing water and setting off sensors.

Displays Supervisor Christine Pitcher said: ”Last time an aquariist had to dash to the centre in the middle of the night, so we’re not going to take any chances.

”The high levels of calcium in them are great for their shells, the fibre is good for their digestion and they also contain lots of beneficial Vitamin C, sulphur and potassium.”

“Best Job in the World” Still No Picnic

Remember how envious you were of the lucky person who got the best job in the world? Ben Southall, who beat 35,000 job applicants to live in a luxury island home and blog about the Great Barrier Reef off the coast of Australia was stung this week by an Irukandji jellyfish. The venomous jelly is tiny, but its sting can cause shooting pains, vomiting, and (in rare cases) death. Southall was taken to a hospital where he spent the night, but recovered enough to enjoy the final week of his six month assignment.

Police Impound Driverless Car

Police at a checkpoint in Chistchurch, New Zealand were astonished when a car approached them with no one at the wheel! The car stopped, however, and the story was sorted out. The driver had apparently jumped into the backseat when he saw the police. The female passenger then struggled to control the wheel. The “backseat driver” tested positive for alcohol and was arrested. As police were in the process of impounding the car, they found another man in the trunk! He was just along for the ride, but narrowly escaped being impounded with the vehicle for 28 days.

Man Impaled With Knife Orders Coffee

An unnamed man walked into a diner in Detroit and ordered coffee, even though he had a 5-inch knife stuck in his chest. The 52-year-old man said he had been mugged, then walked about a mile trying to get help. He called emergency services from a pay phone, then went to the diner for coffee while he waited for the ambulance. Restaurant employees and customers couldn’t believe how calm he was. The victim was taken to a hospital and is expected to recover completely.

Otters Cause Plane Delays

Continental flight 1294 was supposed to take off from Houston at 7:55PM, but was delayed due to otter chaos. A group of caged sea otters got loose in the cargo hold and were tearing their way into some luggage. Passengers saw the otters being taken off the plane in a box, but one otter escaped again and took off across the tarmac. Airline employees chased the otter for 45 minutes before capturing it once again. The plane finally took off at 9:15PM.

Man Charged with Being Drunk on a Mobility Scooter

A CCTV camera caught 37-year-old Nigel Lee Drummond operating his mobility scooter while intoxicated in Darlington, England. Police found his alcohol level was three times the legal limit for operating a motor vehicle. He was charged under an old law against “being drunk in charge of a carriage“, since modern drunk driving laws do not apply to scooters. Drummond paid a fine and now helps the police’s awareness campaign against using a mobility scooter while drunk.

China’s Last Tiger Eaten?

There’s no way of knowing whether the tiger that made a meal for five men was really the last Indochinese tiger in China, but no one has seen any others in years. Kang Wannian of Yunnan Province in China claims he killed the tiger in self-defense last February. Then he ate it.

A local court sentenced Kang to 10 years for killing a rare animal plus two years for illegal possession of firearms, the local web portal Yunnan.cn reported. Prosecutors said Kang did not need a gun to gather clams.

Four villagers who helped Kang dismember the tiger and ate its meat were also sentenced from three to four years for “covering up and concealing criminal gains”, the report said.

The Indochinese tiger is on the brink of extinction, with only small populations left in Laos, Vietnam. Cambodia, Thailand, and Burma.

Decorated Deer

You are used to seeing deer on lawns as Christmas decorations, but in Colorado Springs, you might see a real decorated deer! A TV news crew was there to capture video when a deer with Christmas lights tangled in its antlers roamed through a neighborhood. A neighbor tried to remove the lights, but couldn’t get close enough before the deer ran away. Wildlife experts say the problem should resolve itself when the deer sheds the antlers.

Book 99 Years Overdue Returned to Library

75-year-old Stanley Dudek found a book entitled “Facts I Ought to Know about the Government of My Country” among his mother’s possessions when she died in 1998. He didn’t know it was a library book at the time. Last year, he noticed the book was due back on May 2, 1910. On Monday, he finally returned the book to the New Bedford Public Library in Massachusetts. The library waived the fine, which would be about $360 at the rate of one cent per day. The book, which was printed in 1894, was given to Dudek’s mother in 1922 when she arrived in the US from her native Poland. The library has no records on who originally checked it out.

Drunk 4-Year-Old Steals Christmas Presents

Four-year-old Hayden Wright of Chattanooga, Tennessee was caught drinking beer and stealing Christmas presents from a neighbor’s home in the middle of the night. His mother, April Wright woke up and found her son missing. Police found the child wandering the streets in a girl’s dress taken from a neighbor’s home and drinking a 12-ounce beer. Hayden had bypassed child safety devices on the doors and got the beer from his father’s cooler. He then snuck into a neighbor’s house and took Christmas presents, and rang the doorbell at another house. April Wright said he may have been looking for his father, or trying to get into trouble so he could be with his father, who is in jail. Hayden was taken to a hospital to be treated for alcohol consumption.

Cow Jumps Six Feet Onto Roof

A homeowner in Blagdon, Somerset, England called police to report damage to his roof. He suspected burglars, but later found it was a cow! Police asked neighbors if they knew anything about the incident, and 17-year-old William de Cothi showed them a photograph he had taken of a cow on the roof. The student had seen the cow on the roof and took a picture because it was so unbelievable. The animal had to jump about six feet to get onto the roof.

Woman Teaches Fox Sign Language

Beth Tyler-King of Hartland, Devon, England has taken in a deaf fox and taught it sign language. Milly the fox was injured when she was picked up by animal control 18 months ago, and found to be completely deaf. Tyler-king, who is also deaf, keeps Milly indoors most of the time as the fox was traumatized by earlier abuse. Milly has learned quite a few hand signals. Tyler King also has other injured animals she cares for.

‘At the moment, I have got 30 hedgehogs, five owls, seven dogs, 14 cats, five pigeons, a dove, a parrot, and a squirrel.’ She also has 12 hens and two ponies.

Food Fight Sends Germans to Hospital

A 74-year-old man and a 35-year-old woman got into an argument over a shopping cart at a supermarket in Aachen, Germany on Saturday. The woman’s mother and brother joined in the fray and took the cart, but the elderly man caught up with them and began beating the brother with a salami. The mother grabbed a four-pound hunk of Parmesan cheese and defended her family. Police were summoned, and two of the group were taken to a hospital with minor injuries. The shopping cart was undamaged.

Man Strangles Rabid Bobcat with his Bare Hands

61-year-old James Gruver of Yavapai County, Arizona was attacked by a bobcat. He was looking underneath a trailer on his property when the cat lunged at him, knocking the man down. Gruver kept his wits about him and grabbed the bobcat by the neck and strangled him.

“I just kept a death grip on it because I realized when I was down on the ground, this is getting real serious,” he says.

Gruver avoided being bitten, but sustained a few scratches. Arizona has seen a record 244 cases of rabies in animals this year.

Fake Fingerprints by Plastic Surgery

27-year-old Lin Rong re-entered Japan even though she had earlier been deported back to China for overstaying her visa. She wasn’t caught until she was arrested on other charges, because her fingerprints were different. Lin had undergone surgery to have her left fingerprints moved to her right hand, and vice versa! Japanese police noticed unusual scars on her fingers when they arrested her for faking a marriage in order to stay in the country. She reportedly paid around $15,000 for the surgery in China.

Weird Norwegian Skies

Wednesday morning, a strange spiral lit up the sky over Norway, from Trøndelag to Finnmark, and many people took pictures. It started as a blue light that looked like a beam reaching up from the earth. It then started spiraling like a disc in the sky. A greenish-blue beam then emanated from the spiral. The strange phenomenon lasted about twelve minutes, then disappeared. It was almost a day later when Russian authorities confirmed that their navy had launched a Bulava ballistic missile, but would not comment on the ship’s location or any connection with the lights over Norway.

Man Makes a Living on Discarded Betting Tickets

Jesus Leonardo hasn’t placed a single bet in ten years, but he supports his family with his winnings from the off-track betting parlors of New York City. Leonardo picks up tickets discarded by people who thought they had lost bets, and double checks them for winners.

“It is literally found money,” he said on a recent night from his private winner’s circle. He spends more than 10 hours a day there, feeding thousands of discarded betting slips through a ticket scanner in a never-ending search for someone else’s lost treasure.

Leonardo made $45,000 by checking tickets last year, which he gathers with the help of two friends. And yes, he pays income taxes on his winnings.

Fox Takes Escalator to Subway

London Underground passengers were surprised as a fox boarded an escalator at the Walthamstow Central station last Saturday night. He bounded down the down escalator and was shooed back up by maintenance workers at the bottom. The fox dashed back up and sat at the top of the escalator, cool as a cucumber, while bystanders took his picture. Then he walked off on his own accord, apparently disappointed in missing his opportunity for a train ride.

Police Investigate What Defines Jazz

Spanish police raided the Sigüenza Jazz festival because of a report that the music being played wasn’t jazzy enough!

Police decided to investigate after an angry jazz buff complained that the Larry Ochs Sax and Drumming Core group was on the wrong side of a line dividing jazz from contemporary music.

The jazz purist claimed his doctor had warned it was “psychologically inadvisable” for him to listen to anything that could be mistaken for mere contemporary music.

The complainant called the cops after concert organizers refused to refund his ticket price. After listening to the music, police decided he might actually have a case.

Judge Orders Makeup for Tattooed Defendant

Neo-Nazi gang member John Ditullio went on trial for murder Monday in Florida. The 23-year-old was prepared by a court-ordered makeup artist before appearing before the jury. Ditullio’s lawyer had argued that certain tattoos Ditullio got after he was arrested could prejudice the jury. Those tattoos included barbed wire, a swastika, and an obscene word. The judge agreed and ordered that those tattoos be covered by makeup. However, the judge’s orders stated that tattoos Ditullio had before he was arrested for the 2006 murder not be covered up.

Boy’s Tongue Sticks to Metal Pole

In a scene reminiscent of the movie A Christmas Story, a boy in Boise, Idaho was rescued after he touched his tongue to a metal pole in freezing weather. Firefighters used a glass of water to free the boy, who was unidentified but is estimated to be about ten years old. The boy’s tongue bled a little, but he continued walking to school after the incident Tuesday morning.

Jesus Christ Dismissed from Jury Duty

A woman named Jesus Christ was called for jury duty in Birmingham, Alabama this week, but was dismissed for disruptive behavior. Her name was Dorothy Lola Killingworth before she legally changed it.

Court officials told The Birmingham News Tuesday that the 59-year-old was excused because she was disruptive and kept asking questions instead of answering them.

Efforts to reach Christ for comment were unsuccessful.

Elf Arrested Over Dynamite Threat

45-year-old William Caldwell was dressed as an elf when he was arrested at Southlake Mall in Morrow, Georgia. He wasn’t working as an elf, but got in line to see Santa Claus. According to police, he told Santa that he had dynamite in his bag. Santa immediately summoned mall security. The shopping center was evacuated, but no explosives were found. Caldwell was arrested on several charges.

Toddler Locked Mom in Closet for Seven Hours

Karen Kilgour of Auckland, New Zealand, was the unintended victim of her 14-month-old son Harry in a game that went horribly wrong. She was tidying up clothing in the toddler’s wardrobe when he playfully shut the door on her. The other closets in the home have magnetic locks, but not this one. Kilgour spent several hours trying to open the door, and then hours trying to keep Harry calm as she worried about him. She finally sang her son to sleep, and Kilgour’s husband came home about 4:30PM -seven hours after Kilgour was shut in the closet. The family plans to get a handle put on the inside of the closet.

Prime Minister of Vanuatu Fired for Absences

Edward Natapei was the prime minister of Vanuatu until he lost his job as he was attending a meeting of government heads in Port of Spain, Trinidad and Tobago. His trip triggered a rule that says ministers lose their seat if they miss three consecutive legislative sessions without notifying the speaker. While Natapei was gone, an extraordinary session was held to debate the tiny island nation’s budget. A new election for prime minister was called for by Maxime Carlot Korman, current speaker and former prime minister himself.

Pig Farts Spark Gas Scare

Residents of Axedale, Australia called authorities when they smelled what they believed to be a gas leak. Firefighters responded to the home and found a 120 kilogram pet pig, which they found to be the source of the gas.

“She got very excited when two trucks and 15 firies turned up and she squealed and farted and squealed and farted,” said fire chief Peter Harkins.

“I haven’t heard too many pigs fart but I would describe it as very full-on.”

The pig’s owners were embarrassed over the incident and refused to let the pig be photographed.

Denver Plans to Welcome Aliens

In 2010, Denver voters will have a referendum on the city ballot to approve a new panel called the Extraterrestrial Affairs Commission. If approved, the seven-member commission will develop protocols for establishing diplomatic contact with extraterrestrials. The initiative is the brainchild of Jeff Peckman, who collected over 10,000 signatures to put the referendum on the ballot. Peckman was also behind a vote in 2003 which would have introduced municipal stress-reduction techniques in Denver. The voters rejected that proposal. Peckman says he has seen only one UFO, on the day that Michael Jackson died.

Pornography Study Fails to Find Control Group

Scientists at the University of Montreal designed a study to compare men who watch pornography with men who have never used it. However, the project ran into a roadblock when researchers could not find any men in their 20s who hadn’t been exposed to x-rated images and video. In interviews with twenty male college students, researchers found the average age of their first exposure to porn was age ten. The study was not completely abandoned; it was merely redesigned to study men’s pornography-using habits.

Lost Man Drives 400 Miles to Get Newspaper

Eighty-one-year-old Eric Steward of Yass, New South Wales, Australia went out to get a morning paper on Wednesday. He took a wrong turn onto a highway and drove for nine hours before stopping to ask for directions! Steward ended up in Geelong, Victoria, 400 miles from home. A policeman called Steward’s wife, and sent him in the right direction for home.

“I just went out on the road to have a drive, a nice peaceful drive,” he told reporters, adding he did not need a satellite navigation device as he’d only been lost once.

The Hamster Hotel

The Hamster Hotel is now open in Nantes, France. No, it’s not just a clever name. Frederic Tabary and Yann Falquerho converted a room in an old building to a human-sized hamster cage complete with a running wheel and hay to sleep on. Guests will live like a hamster, to the point of even having grain offered for meals. The price for the room is currently 99 euros for a night, but the price will go up when Wifi and a TV screen are installed.

Dad Spoke Only Klingon to Child for Three Years

Minnesota linguist d’Armond Speers has a doctorate in computational linguistics. He says he isn’t much of a Star Trek fan. But he spent the first three years of his son’s life speaking to him only in the Klingon language!

“I was interested in the question of whether my son, going through his first language acquisition process, would acquire it like any human language,” Speers said. “He was definitely starting to learn it.”

Speers helped develop a digital dictionary in Klingon for Mac, Windows, and iPhone for the software company Ultralingua. Speer’s son is now 15 years old and doesn’t speak a word of Klingon.

Trimming a Hedge with a Crane

Two men in Cambridge, in the Waikato region of New Zealand have a different idea of how to trim an unruly hedge. They were spotted mowing the hedge with a riding lawnmower hoisted above the foliage by a crane! The two men, who wished to remain unnamed, joked that they might go into business with their unusual trimming method. After a scheduled hedge-trimming service didn’t show up, they came up with the stunt in order to make a video and hoped it would be popular on the internet. The friends managed to get a crane and a lawnmower, but had no video camera. The mower operator broke a hand during the stunt in a fall from the crane. However, passers-found the sight quite entertaining.

North Pole Mail Program Dropped

The 2,100 citizens of North Pole, Alaska take Christmas very seriously. Since 1954, they’ve volunteered for Operation Santa, a program of the US Postal Service which answers letters to Santa Claus. The program has volunteers all over the country, and many letters are routed through Alaska to get the special North Pole postmark. However, the USPS is discontinuing the practice of sending letters to the town of North Pole. New security restrictions on letter-writer’s identities are not feasible in the small Alaskan town. Children can still write letters to Santa Claus and get an answer, but they won’t go to North Pole.

Lion Opens Car Door with Teeth

Lion Safari Park in Johannesburg, South Africa allows cars to drive through the lion enclosure so people can see the animals up close. A family in a white Toyota drove through with the doors closed, but apparently failed to lock at least one back door. A 300-pound lion deftly reached over and opened the back door with his teeth. The family remained still for several seconds, supposedly in shock, before driving off as quickly as possible. The lion chased the car to a gate, where a park attendant held it back by throwing stones. Richard Holden was in a car behind the Toyota took pictures of the incident.

Students Arrested for Not Paying Tip

College students Leslie Pope and John Wagner and four of their friends went to the Lehigh Pub in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. The bill came to $73, which Pope and Wagner paid, but they refused to pay the mandatory $16.35 tip, because they said the service was lousy. So they were arrested.

The pub, which was very busy that night, took the $73, but then called the cops, who treated the matter as a theft.

The menu clearly states, “18 percent gratuity added to check of parties of 6 of more,” and a similar message is printed on receipts, a pub employee said this morning.

The students will be in court over the matter next month.