CNN is reporting that deep fried lattes, fried chili pie, fried banana pudding and fried guacamole are all highlights set to premier at this year’s third annual Big Tex Choice Awards contest. The event, which “tests the fair grub ingenuity of State Fair concessionaires,” is interesting not just because it’s the first time I’ve seen the word concessionaires, but also because I had no clue people wanted their lattes deep fried. Of course, the really interesting thing is that all of these ingenious foods come with a bit of a complex: They’re all trying to emerge from the shadow of 2006’s show stopper, the fried coke. The darling of the deep fried dough world, the dish combines 1 part ingenuity with several parts coca cola syrup (included both in the batter, and in the sauce). In fact, the dish was so popular that it sold over 16,000 servings in its first two weeks—a pretty stunning figure according to vendors.
As for just how many calories come in the new New Coke, that figure’s been estimated at a good 820+ calories… and yet no one seems to be working on the diet follow-up. In any case, as of now it sounds like fried coke is going to reign without any sort of Pepsi challenge, as the other colas seem happy to let their foe bask in the Texas limelight. Click here to read more at CNN.

It’s time for another whimsical Tuesday Turnip search wherein I type a random phrase and we see what kind of interesting factoids “turn-up.”

Today I typed in “comprised less than 50 percent,” unearthing the following:

• Many of the juice beverages use colorful pictures of oranges and orange groves despite being comprised of less than 50 percent juice.
• A mineral processing facility must meet the following criteria: Operation uses feedstock that is comprised of less than 50 percent scrap materials. The 50 percent rule applies to all materials entering a process operation that contain the mineral value rather than all materials entering the operation irrespective of function.
• This marks the first time in 20th century history that locally generated school revenues comprised less than 50 percent of total lower education spending
• By 1980, property taxes comprised less than 50 percent of school revenues for most school districts nationally
• The dollars from gaming grease the wheels, but since 1996, they have comprised less than 50 percent of [Las Vegas’s] income.
• While Uighurs made up more than 80 percent of Xinjiang’s population in 1941, by 1998 they comprised less than 50 percent…
• In the early part of the present century the English-speaking Caucasian will be a minority in America, comprising less than 50 percent of the population.

By comparison, I also thought I’d show the difference in the search when I type in “containing less than 51 percent” - one word and one percentage off (Yes, it’s a Turnip Twist folks!):

• [Snausages Snawsomes ingredients include]: Dried Cheese Product. A goulash of milk derivatives containing less than 51 percent actual cheese.

Thank you, Forbes, for your annual reports on the state of the “singles” nation; the 2007 edition is here! If you want to skip the methodology until you’re ready to write a defense or indictment of your city, here are the top ten “Best Cities For Singles” (many more cited in the full report):

1. San Francisco-Oakland
2. New York
3. Los Angeles
4. Atlanta
5. Chicago
6. Washington
7. San Diego
8. Seattle
9. Dallas-Fort Worth
10. Philadelphia

I have to say: I buy that the top two are cities that feature ubiquitous and generally reliable mass transit, but LA being number three seems…forced? I mean, the inability to drive one’s self to/from venues with ease is probably responsible for turning a lot of potential non-singles into functional agoraphobics, but is that really for the “best”?

Not to exclude all non-LA dwellers, but the field work I’ve done/witnessed others do seems to beg otherwise. Perhaps they meant the best cities to absolutely make sure you stay single? Cities in which you’re completely bludgeoned with options and too enmeshed in the pyrotechnics of urban life to make adjustments to your “single” status? Please feel free to degenerate into a free-for-all if you feel passionately about the protection or advancement of “singles” agendas in your city…

I’m fascinated by vintage photos, occasionally buying a few and wondering at the stories behind them. Growing up in southwest Florida I frequented a variety of thrift shops, each of which contained piles of old family photos and Super-8 movies, often with tantalizing words written on the reels: BAHAMAS, ALASKA, WATERFALL, and so on.

Enter Square America, “a gallery of vintage snapshots & vernacular photography.” The site is an online museum of photographs from the first three-quarters of the twentieth century, collected from flea markets and eBay. I bet the curator would enjoy the junk shop down the street from me with several filing cabinets crammed full of old photos, labeled: Instant Friends & Family; Instant Vacation; Instant Childhood.

Square American has a bunch of exhibits up, including The Menagerie, Catch of the Day, and the eponymous Square America. Here are some photos from that last one, which features square-negative photos:

Link via Your Daily Awesome.

It wasn’t long ago that we reported on a flurry of overtly political kids books — like Help! There’s a Liberal Under My Bed! and Why Mommy is a Democrat (because “Democrats always share their toys”) — which more or less used our spawn as canon fodder in the current culture wars. Now there’s an even more insidious (and hilarious) kiddie publishing trend afoot: deeply ironic, tongue-firmly-in-cheek coloring and activity books, the true meaning of which is certainly lost on the very young. For instance, the Pat Robertson and Friends Coloring Book (pictured above, already colored in by artist Josh Neufeld), in which the titular pastor cavorts with Teletubbies, exhorts God to pack the Supreme Court with conservatives, and so on. (By now, the elementary school set is already thinking “adults are insane, I hope I never grow up!”) Well, there’s more to come, Junior … read on!

The Gangsta Rap Coloring Book
Featuring kingly portraits of slain emcees like Tupac and B.I.G. Entourages of scantily clad ladies are notably absent, however (what gives?) — a possible (and rare) concession to Concerned Parents Everywhere.

(more…)

Maybe my memory for this sort of thing isn’t that good, but aside from some photos of Kennedy with his shirt off (yachting in the Vineyard, or something), I can’t really remember any pics of world leaders baring their pecs for the camera. Carter, Reagan, Bush, Clinton, Gorbachev, Blair, Helmut Kohl- nothing really comes to mind.

That is, until now. This last week, Neatorama published a story that Russian President and judo black belt Vladimir Putin took it half-off for the Russian press. Not surprisingly, the buff, topless photos have taken off on the internet. Delighted female constituents have been lighting up the paper’s message boards, while the photo’s also achieved massive popularity on gay Russian sites. And while some speculate it was a clever PR move to show off the Prez and country’s strength to the world, it’s funny to see that only one world leader has been baited into striking back: French president Nicholas Sarkozy. Sadly, it was immediately revealed that Sarkozy had various media outlets airbrush his love handles away- a leak that no doubt has taken the wind out of his sales pitch. In any case, I can only think of one other airbushed photo of a leader out there: the fake photo of Chairman Mao swimming, to prove his health and vigor. Does anyone know of any others?

Story via the always fascinating Neatorama.

Though it may seem ridiculous, I’ve had a theory for a long time that the best modern example of Ivan Pavlov’s work is a line from DJ Casper’s dance hit “Cha-Cha Slide.” The whole song is just a series of instructions, but one line in particular sticks out (those who haven’t attended an event with a DJ in the last six years can watch the video here). At about the 2:10 mark, DJ Casper calls out “Everybody clap your hands,” which is followed by a steady rhythm of clapping from the crowd. Every time I’ve heard that line, be it at a dance, wedding or sporting event, it’s followed by the same rhythm of applause. At the last baseball game I attended, they played that single line and all audible conversations stopped so people could concentrate on their clapping. I had always presented my theory about the hand clapping as our generation’s classical conditioning (a la Pavlov’s dogs) half-jokingly until last weekend. I was absent-mindedly driving when the “Cha-Cha Slide” came on the radio. Without thinking at all, I took my hands off the wheel (while I was still driving, mind you) to clap my hands. That just confirmed my belief that DJ Casper is Pavlov reincarnated.

Even though evidence of conditioning is all around us, I found it a little (a lot?) depressing to think that my best example of Pavlov’s legacy is a Bar Mitzvah staple dance track, so I’ve been looking into other good examples.

E-mail pings, The Office, and a chance to win a free t-shirt all after the break! (more…)

Business Week reports on a survey done by Hagerty Insurance that ranks the worst car designs ever. Here are the results:

1. AMC Pacer
2. Yugo
3. Ford Pinto
4. Pontiac Aztec
5. Chevrolet Vega
6. AMC Gremlin
7. Chevrolet Corvair
8. AMC Matador
9. Ford Edsel
10. Chevrolet Chevette

I don’t know exactly how this survey was conducted, but it looks like the 2,500 respondents thought of the ugliest car from their own past. In the past couple of years, I’ve seen some very ugly newer model cars, but the names didn’t adhere to my memory banks. This list also has only one non-American model. Where’s the Skoda? The Tatra? The Volkswagen Thing? To get on this list, a car had to sell enough units to be widely seen and remembered. Do you agree with the results? Do you have any other suggestions? If you can’t think of any uglier cars, the Fark thread that accompanied this article has plenty, with photographic evidence.

A few weeks ago, I posted about my grandfather (the hairclip inventor) and how he taught himself to sew at the age of 86 and, of course, 94-year-old Phyllis Turners, who recently got her masters degree. The post seemed to inspire a few of you: life is long, and we’re never too old to try something new.

Or something old. Indian farmer Nanu Ram Jogi recently fathered his—are you ready for it?—21st child! And he’s 90 years old, folks! Also noteworthy: Nanu thinks there might be even more children out there, conceived with women he never married. (As it stands, Nanu has been married four times.)

With an additional 20 grandchildren, Nanu is quite the papa. So what does he attribute his insane virility to? Simple: daily walks and plenty of meat. “I eat all kinds of meat - rabbits, lamb, chicken and wild animals,” Nanu was quoted as saying.

I don’t know about you parents out there, but with Jack, one is a handful right now for us. Twenty-one, well, that’s just showing off. (And think of your Pampers costs!)

You might remember our contest of last month, where one lucky listener who tuned into my radio interview won a _floss t-shirt if said listener could identify some _floss-related trivia dropped over the air.

Though the contest is long over, the interview lives on via iTunes podcasts or this here link. (You need to suffer through about 5 minutes of music before the chatting begins.)

Enjoy and stay tuned for a wildly exciting new contest coming your way after Labor Day…