One of the occasional running features introduced in 2007 was ‘The Analogist,’ where you tell me your problem and I tell you what it’s like. This feature is so occasional, in fact, I can rerun all the situations we’ve Analogized in one post. If you have a question for The Analogist, email me. Now on to the Year in Review…

I love my sister but she’s the worst. When I was nine, I fell out of our treehouse and broke my collarbone. Angry at the attention I was getting, she jumped from the same treehouse and broke both legs (she still walks with a limp). I’m getting married next month. She’s bound to pull something and I want to warn people. What’s a good analogy for our relationship?
–Kate
Texas

Your sibling rivalry reminds me of the space race. Did you know that while Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin were traipsing around the lunar surface, a Soviet spacecraft – Luna 15, at right – slammed into the Moon? Sounds like something your sister might do if you were an astronaut and she ran a rival nation’s space program. This will work especially well if your friends are still harboring Cold War resentment.

I tried and failed to get a former colleague a job with my new company. He was passed over for a less experienced guy with “more potential.” People raved about this guy like he was the iPhone. But after months of lackluster work, he was caught trying to steal a scanner. After a tearful admission to HR, he was escorted out by the rent-a-cops that patrol our office park. A more humiliating fate I cannot imagine. I feel so vindicated. What parallels this clown’s fall from grace?
–Theresa
Atlanta, Georgia

(more…)

If you spent your musically developmental and formative years in the basement of a college radio station, you know the satisfaction that comes from championing some unknown alterna-electro funk band from Portland. With this satisfaction comes the devastating emptiness when they inevitably sell their catchy debut single to Mitsubishi for use in a commercial for a sedan with above average gas mileage. The rise of illegal downloading, the shrinking of radio playlists, and the decline in CD sales have forced many artists to “sell out,” often in television commercial form, to make ends meet.

The Washington Post recently enlisted an expert in hyperbolic geometry (!?!) to devise a formula that equates the precise degree of sell-out your favorite garage band has committed, bringing new meaning to the subgenre specific term math-rock. The mathematical result is represented by the Greek letter mu, here as “The Moby Quotient,” named for the electronic artist that (in)famously sold every single last song on his 1999 album, Play, to varying commercial interests.

Being an expert in both barely relevant indie-rock minutiae and crippling sell-out related heartbreak, I’ve compiled a list of the most egregious offenders and punched their stats into the sell-out calculator.
(more…)

While thumbing through the mental_floss archives, I found this story that I’d completely forgotten about. Check it out!
According to CNN, one of the three muggers who attacked illusionist David Copperfield and his two assistants in April has been sentenced to two years in prison. Of course, the dazzling part isn’t that the kid got time in the slammer. Instead, it’s that Copperfield’s assistants willingly forked over their cel phones and cash. The illusionist on the other hand stunned his armed thieves by turning out his pockets and showing them there was nothing in there. In the deposition the master magician revealed that he was actually carrying a cell phone, a passport and a fat wallet the whole time. Bravo, David Copperfield, bra-vo! Of course, there’s no word in the deposition on exactly how he pulled it off (a magician never tells), but I’m guessing it had something to do with his puffy sleeves. Click here to read more.

Just to give you the scoop on the latest in ice cream trends, Neatorama linked to this hilarious idea for Pepto Bismol Ice Cream (I thought it was too brilliant not to post about). Using the old “spoonful of sugar” idea, the intrepid Fraser Lewry over at Blogjam concocted the treat to help get people through their morning hangovers. Amazingly, Lewry claims the stuff goes down pretty smoothly:

The taste? Actually, it’s quite nice. The vanilla and sugar temper the metallic bitterness of the medicine, giving the end result a flavour not too dissimilar to black cherry. And as a hangover cure? Initial studies are encouraging, with no negative side-effects experienced as yet. A mild mid-week drinking session provided the first test, and while my cross-breed concoction certainly didn’t eliminate the suffering altogether, the benefits did not go unnoticed.

Even so, I wouldn’t expect Breyers or Dairy Queen to jump on the Pepto-bandwagon just yet! For the step-by-step recipe, be sure to click here.

As a way to extend my vacation one more day, we’ve decided to keep accepting intern applications through tomorrow night. You can learn all the details here.

In the meantime, the first person to correctly identify the man in this picture wins a free mental_floss t-shirt. Leave your answer in the comments.

If you don’t know the answer but still want a shirt, you’re in luck. We’ve got plenty for sale in our store.

I’ve heard people joke about using hamster wheels to harness small amounts of energy, but this is the first time I’ve seen someone enlist the pets to help in their Ollie-North-by-Northwest schemes. That’s right it’s the very first Hamster Powered Paper Shredder, for all your secrecy needs! (Note: it’s only a prototype as of now). Still, the idea just feels right. Not only does the hamster help line his own cage every time he runs on his wheel, but every bit of exercise gets rewarded with a giant ticker tape parade. Of course, the only drawback seems to be if you’ve got a lazy hamster. Mine were always of the procrastinating sort, and I’m not sure paperwork agreed with them. Link via OhGizmo.

Back in July, during my first trip into the New York Times archives, I made one promise: “I plan to run this feature into the ground.” Twenty-one volumes and one NPR appearance later, it’s safe to say I kept my word.

Here are my ten favorite first mentions uncovered these last six months.

1. Walkman

July 7, 1980

Stereo-to-Go – and Only You Can Hear It
Josh Lansing and the young blonde woman had never even met before, but as they passed each other on Madison Avenue the other afternoon, she waved and smiled and he tipped his headphones in salute….What the two well-dressed strangers first noticed about each other was that they were both possessors of the newest status symbol around town: the Walkman, a portable stereo unit (priced in most stores at $200), consisting of an ultra-light headphone set plugged into a cassette player that weighs in at less than 14 ounces, batteries included. “It’s just like Mercedes-Benz owners honking when they pass each other on the road,” explained Mr. Lansing, whose cassette hung from his Gucci belt.

2. E-mail

June 9, 1985

When Technology Outpaces Needs
Then there is electronic mail, that thoroughly modern offspring of a calcified postal service and a splintered Ma Bell. Currently, the companies promoting this service, nicknamed e-mail, are also offering such added services as a hookup of the subscriber’s personal computer to the Telex network and a two-hour delivery of letter-quality documents to many parts of the country. They have all discovered that electronic mail alone cannot at this stage attract enough customers to stem the tide of red ink.
* * * * *
One of its alleged advantages is the so-called store and forward message. A user may send messages at any time and, unlike a telephone connection, e-mail does not require the recipient to be on the other end of the line. Then again, the old-fashioned postal service does not require that the recipient be there at the time of delivery either.

When all is said and done, electronic mail is no more efficient, in the vast majority of cases, than the telephone or the postal service it is supposed to replace. Nor does it have the flexibility to be able to deliver packages such as spare parts, in the manner of another innovation, the overnight express service pioneered by Federal Express.

3. Woody Allen

March 19, 1962

Young Men’s Hebrew Association Presents 2nd Jazz Concert
On the bill were two well-established jazz groups…and a relatively unknown comedian, Woody Allen. It was the comedian who walked off with the honors for the evening.

Mr. Allen, who describes himself as “short and unloved,” looks like a somewhat unkempt Wally Cox. A monologuist in the Mort Sahl style who ranges over almost every area except politics…he wandered off into what he apparently found to be more diverting topics…[for example] the problem of getting a divorce in New York (”The Ten Commandments say ‘Thou shalt not commit adultery,’ but New York State says you have to”).

Mr. Allen’s quiet, underplayed style enabled him to get laughs with what might otherwise have been little more than casual remarks.

4. Barack Obama

(more…)

As we near the end of 2007, I’m re-posting a few fun posts from earlier in the year. Here’s one of my favorites from April.

Yesterday we introduced you to LOL Cats, today it’s time to dig deeper. It’s hard to create a firm timeline of how these images evolved, but it appears that one of these two images created a subgenre of LOL Cats, which I refer to as “Invisible” LOL Cats:

More “Invisible” LOL Cats after the jump.

(more…)

I love taking pictures of weird signs I find around my neighborhood. Despite a few great recent finds, however, the best sign I ever photographed was one I stumbled across years ago, when I was 13 or 14 years old. A redneck neighbor had gotten fed up with dogs emptying their bowels on his lawn, so he hand-made one of the angriest, most aggressive anti-poop signs I’ve seen to this day (the picture of which I dug out and scanned while home for the holidays):

Despite the sign being there for well over a year, I never heard about anyone’s head getting blown off. (I s’pose that was the end of his doggy-doo problem — as well as any impromptu drop-ins by charities, the Girl Scouts or neighbors bearing fruitcakes and cups of sugar, I imagine.) You’ve got to ask yourself, which is worse: the doo, or outing yourself as a lunatic? (Speaking of lunatic, by the way, don’t you love that after that intense diatribe, Mr. Brandy signed his name in delicate cursive?)

Share your dog-doo stories here! What’s the craziest anti-poop sign you’ve seen (or made)? Was this guy within his rights to threaten his neighbors (me included) with decapitation via handgun, or did he go overboard?

New Year traditions that all Americans are familiar with include the ball drop in Times Square, the Tournament of Roses Parade, fireworks, year-end lists, New Year’s resolutions, a toast and/or a kiss at midnight, Auld Lang Syne, and predictions for the year ahead. Here are some other customs you might not be as familiar with.

1. Años Viejos

In Ecuador, December 31st is time to ceremonially burn an effigy named Años Viejos, or Years Old. The dummies are made of old clothes and sticks or sawdust for stuffing, and often made to look like someone who has made a negative impact during the year, such as a politician. See pictures of many different Años Viejos here.

2. First-Footer

Scotland marks Hogmanay on December 31st, although the celebration lasts several days, with customs varying by locality. One of the customs associated with the new year is that of the first-footer, or the first person to visit your home after midnight on New Year’s Day. It is good luck if your first-footer is a tall handsome man with dark hair, preferably bringing a small gift. Remnants of this custom are found in America, too -I have a relative who gets very upset if the first person who calls her in the new year is a woman.

More traditions from all over, after the jump.

(more…)