Name-dropping:
The Buddha (pronunciation: BOO- duh) (c. 563–483 BCE).
Also known as Siddhartha Gautama and Gautama Buddha—the nirvana-achievin’ founder of Buddhism who, contrary to what you might have heard, was neither Chinese nor obese.

When to Drop Your Knowledge:
Buddhism is immensely helpful for late-night, really deep conversations. Like, have you ever thought about how everything—like, everything—is going to fall apart? You and me and the couch we’re sitting on and the planet and everything? Well, the Buddha already thought of that, fortunately. And he did it without any intoxicants.

The Basics
Most of what we know about the Buddha isn’t based on reliable histories but on legends, many of which weren’t written down until centuries after the Buddha’s life. But the story goes like this:

The Buddha was born a prince in an area that today straddles the border between India and Nepal. At the time, being a prince involved a life of carefree luxury (and, potentially, a Wilt Chamberlain–like promiscuity). But because a soothsayer told Siddhartha’s mother that the baby would either grow up to be a great king or a great holy man, Siddhartha’s father tried in vain to make him the former. In fact, he went so far as to shield the boy from any sort of religious education and exposure to human suffering.

When he was 29, however, Siddhartha started traveling outside the palace and encountered “the four sights”: a crippled man, a diseased man, a rotting corpse, and finally a wandering ascetic, who roamed the hills of India much like the hippies once roamed the Haight. Siddhartha quickly became every parent’s nightmare: He ditched his money, his parents, his wife, and his palace to spend his life searching for a way to overcome the inevitability of human suffering.

After a couple years of nearly starving himself to death as an ascetic, the Buddha sat down beneath a tree (called the Bodhi tree) and asserted that he wouldn’t move a muscle until he found enlightenment. He found it, and from then on, Gautama came to be known as a “Buddha,” or “Awakened One.”

Initially preaching to just five people, the Buddha’s disciples soon multiplied. Further, his teachings of impermanence and karma, along with the “Four Noble Truths” and the “Eightfold Four Noble Truths Path,” became the foundation point for a philosophy and religious tradition that would, by the first century CE, be a driving force in the lives of people from India to China.

Four Noble Truths
The philosophy of the Buddha is often summed up in the following “Noble Truths”:

1. “There is suffering.” This one is fairly simple, and fairly obvious, too, and if you disagree we will come to your house and punch you in the face to prove you wrong.
2. The cause of suffering is desire. “Desire” here is not so much a reference to romantic desire as to one’s general attachment to
people, places, and things.
3. The way out of suffering is to eliminate desire.
4. The Eightfold Path is the way out of suffering. If you’re wondering what the Eightfold Path is, well—then we’ve got a sidebar just for you.

Eightfold Path
1. The Right Perspective
2. The Right Thinking
3. The Right Speech (i.e., no lying)
4. The Right Action (i.e., no stealing, no killing, no intoxicants, and no sex if you’re a monk)
5. The Right Livelihood (i.e., not being an investment banker. We kid. Sort of.)
6. The Right Effort
7. The Right Mindfulness
8. The Right Concentration

THE LOW-FAT PATH
The Buddha is often portrayed as being a bit—how to put this politely—fat. But was he? Probably not. The Buddha competed throughout his life in wrestling and archery, and he spent much of his time hiking great distances. Depictions of a fat Buddha are often not of Gautama at all, but of another Buddha named Hotei. An eccentric, pudgy, and happy monk, Hotei is known as the Laughing Buddha and is a common subject of Buddhist artwork.

Conversation Starters
◆ Before kabbalah, Buddhism was all the rage among Western celebrities. Fads pass, but a few have stayed loyal to the faith, including Richard Gere, Tina Turner (who has credited Buddhism for helping her to ditch Ike), and the Beastie Boys’s MCA.

◆ Most Buddhists do not consider Siddhartha Gautama to have been either the first or the last Buddha. Since enlightenment is available to everyone (even if you are, say, a grasshopper), there have been many Buddhas throughout history. Those who achieve enlightenment but forgo nirvana, choosing to remain in the cycle of death and rebirth, are known as bodhisattvas—and these, too, are numerous and widely revered by Buddhists.

◆ In 2004, a Japanese candy manufacturer sought to register a trademark for a popular candy it produced called “Snot from the Nose of the Great Buddha.” A group of priests stopped the company from getting the trademark for its gooey, sugary snack, but it remains on sale—complete with a wrapper depicting the Buddha beatifically picking his Buddha nose.

◆ From the Interreligious Dialogue Files: The Buddha, who lived well before Jesus, was once a Catholic saint. St. Josaphat, as he was known, was the son of an Indian king whose father tried to keep him from going religious. When it became clear to scholars, however, that Josaphat was, you know, the Buddha dressed in a saint suit, he was quietly taken off the list of saints.