Name-dropping:
Kama Sutra (pronunciation: KA-muh SUE-truh) (Written sometime between 30 and 400 CE). Literally meaning “aphorisms on love” or “treatise on pleasure,” the Kama Sutra is an ancient Indian text most famous for containing 64—sixty-four!—“arts.” And by “arts,” the Kama Sutra means “positions.” Vatsyayana: Purportedly the author of the Kama Sutra, although no one knows anything about who he was or when he lived or whether he was a single person or a bunch of people or whether he even existed. All we know is that if he existed, he got a lot of play.

When to Drop Your Knowledge:
Everywhere and always. Like George Clinton songs and homemade guacamole, the Kama Sutra is bound to be a hit at any party.

The Basics
The Kama Sutra is most famous for the second of its five sections, “On Sexual Union.” It’s in this section that the reader is introduced to the 40 kinds of kissing, varieties of orgasm, and the aforementioned 64 sexual positions. Also, it’s here that Vatsyayana argues that there are eight positions possible within each of the broader ways of having sex. (We’d include some pictures here, but the publisher said we couldn’t.)

But the Kama Sutra is not some guide to a Bacchanalian lifestyle. Vatsyayana believed that frivolous sex was sinful. Further, he believed in the importance of treating people well. For that reason, the dirty-dirty only comprises about 20 percent of the total text. Parts of the book, for instance, remind people how to live well. But most of it is a sort of ancient Indian Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. In exploring how to acquire a wife (or how to seduce another person’s wife), Vatsyayana discusses the differences between men and women and how each gender experiences pleasure.

The Kama Sutra was helping Indians have fuller sex lives for at least a millennium before the British explorer, swordsman, raconteur, and all-around dreamboat Sir Richard Burton decided to translate the text. (Let’s just say that Burton had found it helpful.) Burton’s classic 1883 translation is still widely read today, and even though it was censored in England, it found a rabid audience throughout Europe and—eventually—in America. Today, the Kama Sutra is perhaps unfairly synonymous with sexual experimentation. It also has served as an important source for scholars seeking to understand ancient India.

The Talented Mr. Burton
Richard Burton (the one who lived from 1821–1890, not the one who twice wed Elizabeth Taylor) spoke dozens of languages, traveled the globe in search of adventure, was considered the greatest swordsman of his century, and managed to translate both the Kama Sutra and The Arabian Nights. But in his own day, he was most famous for being the first Christian known to have taken part in the Islamic Hajj. Non-Muslims are not allowed into the holy city of Mecca during the annual Islamic pilgrimage. But in 1853, Burton disguised himself as a Muslim—he studied Islam for months in advance and even went so far as to have himself circumcised (just in case anyone checked). After all, Islam, like Judaism, requires circumcision of males. The travel book that resulted, Pilgrimage to El-Medinah and Mecca, secured Burton’s renown—and we’re happy to defer to anyone who loves adventure enough to endure adult circumcision.

Extra Credit:
KAMA
“Kama,” is not a kind of chameleon, although, due to Boy George’s poor pronunciation, we believed otherwise until quite recently. “Kama” is, in fact, the Hindu god of love. And just like Cupid, Kama is often portrayed shooting love-producing arrows—which just goes to show that there’s a real cross-cultural appreciation for the relationship between getting stabbed with an arrow and falling head over heels.

WHAT’S A VATSYAYANA?
Very little is known for certain about the life of Vatsyayana. For instance, scholars have only gotten within five centuries of nailing down the time when he lived (between the first and sixth centuries CE). One of the most pervasive rumors about Vatsyayana is that he spent a great deal of time with prostitutes in order to research his Sutra.

Conversation Starters
◆ When Richard Burton first visited India, he was assigned by the British government to investigate homosexual brothels. His inflammatory report, which showed that many British soldiers and officers made frequent visits to such brothels, led to him being fired from the Army. By the time he translated the Kama Sutra in 1889, he’d learned his lesson: Victorian Brits were prudish. Instead of using English words to describe genitalia, he used the Sanskrit words lingam and yoni. The latter caught on as a slang word in English for a woman’s genitalia.

◆ Now and again, the Kama Sutra offers some questionable advice. Say, for instance, you want a virgin to marry you. You might buy the virgin an engagement ring, or even start referring to her by her first name instead of always calling her “the virgin.” Or you could follow the advice of the Kama Sutra and throw a mixture of vajnasunhi powder and monkey dung over her head.

◆ Among the studies that Vatsyayana asserts are vital to be a full and complete lover: architecture, gemology, metallurgy, and magic. (This points to the disconcerting conclusion that the folks from Extreme Makeover: Home Edition might be really great lovers.) Knowledge of these fields, of course, made one a proper husband back then—and only a proper husband could be a proper lover.

◆ And for those of you who might be really bad people: An entire chapter of the Kama Sutra is devoted to how best to seduce other men’s wives.