Name-dropping:
Simón Bolívar (pronunciation: see- MOAN bo-LEE-varr—and remember to roll those r’s)
(1783–1830).
South American revolutionary who brought independence to much of the continent but gets absolutely no props, while Che (freaking) Guevera, who never liberated anybody, gets his face plastered all over hipsters’ T-shirts.

When to Drop Your Knowledge:
Well, whenever you see a Che shirt, for starters. But you can also use your knowledge of Bolívar to impress students of colonialism, revolutionaries, American Civil War buffs, and fans of South American author Gabriel García Márquez.

The Basics
Known as “The Liberator,” Simón Bolívar came from a wealthy Venezuelan family. He studied in Europe, married the daughter of a prominent Spaniard (sadly, Bolívar’s wife died soon after of yellow fever), and received an excellent education from private tutors. But by his 21st birthday, Bolívar began to imagine a South America free from colonialism and, in typically dramatic fashion, stood atop a mountain in Rome and made a solemn vow to liberate his homeland.

Plenty of kids in their early 20s have big ideas, but Bolívar made it happen. With Spain weak due to Napoléon’s invasions, Bolívar began leading Latin American independence movements. And despite his initially failing to win independence for Venezuela, his forces eventually prevailed, entering Caracas in 1813. It was then that Bolívar began a long and storied tradition in Latin American politics by immediately declaring himself president of Venezuela, by which he meant “dictator.”

It was Bolívar’s dream that all Latin America would be a single giant nation (and he also dreamed, no doubt, of running it himself). In the next few years, it seemed he might accomplish it. One by one, territories were brought into the fold of “Gran Colombia.” Besides Venezuela, Bolívar helped to liberate Ecuador, Peru, Colombia, Bolivia (naturally), and Panama. But Bolívar’s dream was never terribly realistic. Internal factionalism caused him constant problems and left him frequently out of power, and his unrepentant lust for power (he wrote a constitution for Gran Colombia that made him president for life and gave him the ability to choose a successor) made him unpopular in spite of all he’d done to bring sovereignty to South America.

He resigned his presidency of Gran Colombia once and for all in 1830, after spending the latter part of his career trying to quell uprisings throughout South America. Suffering from tuberculosis, he spent the last six months of his life adrift, still vaguely dreaming of a powerful, united South America. Simón died of tuberculosis on December 17, 1830. A great general who lusted too much for power, his faults have largely been forgotten today, and although he is not as famous as he ought to be in the U.S., Bolívar is revered throughout much of South America.

Name Game
Simón Bolívar is the only person in the world to have not one, but two, sovereign nations named after him: Bolivia and Venezuela. Before you try to find the “Venezuela” in Bolívar’s full name, allow us to explain. It turns out that the full name of Venezuela is “Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela.” (Additionally, he’s also got a square in Egypt named after him, as well as the official currency of Venezuela, the bolivar.)

Bolívar’s Labyrinth
The tragic last months of Simón Bolívar’s life are recounted to brilliant effect in Nobel Laureate Gabriel García Márquez’s 1981 novel The General in His Labyrinth. In the book, “The General” vacillates between an acceptance that he is near death and a fierce determination to begin a revolution anew. García Márquez’s version of Bolívar’s last words is particularly moving. In the midst of a hellish fever, The General wakes up and says, “Damn it. How will I ever get out of this labyrinth?” it seems that Bolívar did indeed ask that question, but it wasn’t his final utterance. His real last words were likely the more pedestrian “José, bring the baggage.”

Conversation Starters
◆ Simón Bolívar had one of the most impressive full names in all of human history: Simón José Antonio de la Santísima Trinidad Bolívar y Palacios.

◆ We’ve often pondered why it is, exactly, that Goofy, a dog, gets to be Mickey Mouse’s zany, talkative pal, while Pluto, also a dog, is merely Mickey’s pet. And it’s hard not to feel sorry for poor, mute Pluto. But it turns out that Pluto has a comrade. Donald Duck’s pet dog, Bolivar (who was indeed named for Simón), first appeared in Disney cartoons in 1938. Like Pluto, he can’t talk and always walks on four legs. How typical of The Man to name a hapless, mute mutt after a brilliant South American general.

◆ It wasn’t just South America that revered Bolivar. Although it may be hard to imagine a Southerner named for a Venezuelan revolutionary, there was indeed at least one such man: Simon Bolivar Buckner Sr., a mustachioed Kentuckian, was a lieutenant general in the Confederate Army during the American Civil War. After the war, he served as governor of Kentucky. He wasn’t embarrassed by the name, either. In fact, he passed it on to his son, Simon Bolivar Buckner Jr., who also became a general, but this time in the U.S. army. An unrepentant racist who refused to lead African-American troops, Junior nonetheless commanded the assault on Okinawa. He was killed by artillery fire during the battle, making him the highest-ranking American soldier to die in World War II.