The Dilemma: You just kissed an amphibian that ribbits. Will it turn into a prince, or will you hallucinate? And do they both taste like chicken?

People You Can Impress: herpetologists, lonely princesses, and Miss Piggy

The Quick Trick: The wartier the skin, the more likely it’s a toad.

The Explanation:
First, let’s discuss how to generally tell the two apart (this isn’t completely foolproof). To begin with, toads’ bodies tend to be shorter and wider while frogs’ are thinner and sleeker. Toads also spend less time in water than frogs, so—side by side—a frog’s feet appear more webbed than its warty cousin’s. Toads also have two bumps on their heads, the parotid glands, which they can use to secrete poison. Frogs, on the other hand, have generally longer legs and are better jumpers. Plus, they tend to be wetter, shinier, and smoother than the dry-skinned toad.

In terms of self-defense, toads (and a few frogs) tend to protect themselves from predators by secreting various toxins from their skins, which in small doses can have interesting results. Ingest the venom of the Bufo alvarius, and you’ll trip out. However, take in the venom of the Amazonian poison dart frog, and you’ll be having a chat with St. Peter in no time.

The one kind of toad that most Americans can name (and giggle when they do) is the erroneously called horny toad. Others (notably those at Texas Christian University, where it’s their mascot) call the animal the horned frog. Strangely enough, both are wrong. The creature is neither a toad nor a frog. In fact, it’s not even an amphibian! It’s a lizard.

Toads Gone Wild
Toads aren’t native to Australia. But Australians sure have more than they know what to do with. So how’d it come to be? The cane toad is the Down Under’s equivalent of kudzu: an introduced species that ran amok. In 1935, 101 cane toads were brought to Australia in the hope of protecting sugarcane from pests. Without any predators, though, the toads went bananas. In fact, today there are so many toads that they’re starting to mess up the whole ecosystem.

How the French Became Frogs
We’d be remiss if we didn’t take this opportunity to explain how the term “frog” became a derogatory nickname for the French. Basically, it boils down to three reasons:

1) Both words start with fr, and that’s just easy;

2) The French eat frogs (particularly their legs) as a delicacy, so “frogs” was probably shortened from “frog-eaters”;

3) Some believe that the fleur-de-lis, the heraldic symbol of France (and of the New Orleans Saints) was derived from three toads on the coat of arms of Clovis, king of the Franks, in the fifth century. At the time, toads were thought to represent Satan, so toads on his coat became a non-non once the good king converted to Christianity. Thus he quickly replaced them with a representation of the lily, now called the fleur-de-lis.