There's a famous (fictional?) college application essay that's been bouncing around the Internet for years. I first heard it at Morris Knolls High School in 1995, when legendary chemistry teacher Bob Powers read it to our class before the college fair. It may have been old even then.
"I am a dynamic figure," the essay begins, "often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention."