Super-sized Scientology

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A fantastic headline in this week's St. Petersburg Times caught my eye this morning. (Wait, you mean you don't read Florida's newspapers online? Well, you clearly don't know what you're missing, as this story is about to reveal.)

Scientology nearly ready to unveil Super Power

Huh?

I mean I know Tom Cruise and the gang have a certain affinity for eye-catching blockbuster verbiage, but really:

HUH?!

Well, it turns out that
a) Marvel Comics and Scientology are soon to have a lot in common. Because
b) "Super Powers" as defined by the Scientologists, are, indeed, Super Powers in the Superman sense of the expression. And
c) Clearwater, Florida, famous for baseball during Spring Training, is about to become famous for something else, namely:
d) A new, secret, program that's been in the works for decades.
Through the use of technology "Super Power uses machines, apparatus and specially designed rooms to excerise and enhance a person's so-called perceptics."
Okay, so what the heck are perceptics? Simple: Scientology's 57 (yes, I said 57) senses.
Things like "body position," "sound direction" and "rhythm." Or my personal favorites, "awareness of awareness" and the "Perception of having perceived." (See the the article for a complete list of all 57.)