Say cheese!


Last week I went to a backyard wedding where the main entertainment was not dancing or drinking but cheese racing. It may not be an event in the World Games yet, but this "sport" has at least four followers aside from the bridal revelers, according to (what else?)

It was 1997 before the next great leap forward was made. Four friends had gathered in a quiet campsite near Osmington in Dorset. After an evening barbecue, their finely-honed analytical minds fortified by a combination of partially-cooked sausages, Stella Artois lager and Cockburn's Special Reserve Port (and several cigarettes of a nature which cannot be described on a family website such as this) an idea was hatched, as momentous in its own way as the ideas of Newton and Einstein.... What would happen if a [still wrapped] Kraft cheese slice was thrown onto a (still red-hot and glowing) barbecue?

What happens, apparently, is that the cheese boils, gases inside the package heat up and expand, and the wrapper somehow doesn't melt. Cheese racing (not to be confused with cheese rolling) simply takes this one step further; the winner is the person whose cheese fully inflates first. Although cheese racing originated in Britain, it works best with Kraft American singles. Word to the wise: Don't use reduced-fat cheese, which doesn't inflate nearly as well. Another word to the wise: Don't try to eat the cheese afterward.