What is that thing? The monster from Maine (would that make it a "monstah?") that was found by the side of the road this week is probably just a wild dog, says the AP:
Loren Coleman, a Portland author and cryptozoologist, said he didn't know for sure what the animal was based on his examination of its remains Wednesday. "I think this dead animal is a chow or chow-mix, a relatively small dog, that was feral, which is unusual for that area," he told the Sun Journal newspaper. ... Some say it's simply a dog. Others say it's a goat-sheep hybrid. Still others weighed in that the creature may have been a Tasmanian devil, a dingo, a wolf or coyote. Some of the more outlandish theories involve mutations and extraterrestrials.
Well, we're sure there aren't any extraterrestrials involved, but we do like outlandish theories. So for entertainment purposes, we're gonna go with one of the following:
2. It's a scrunt. You know, it's a narf-hunting beast with kii-tipped claws that can only be controlled by the tartutic. Oh. I guess you didn't see Lady in the Water. That's okay, I didn't either -- I looked that up at Wikipedia.
4. It's G'mork from The Neverending Story. Or, if you're a book purist, it's "Gmork." Either way, he looks eerily similar. And just writing this is giving me flashbacks of some terrible nightmares I had as a kid, so let's move on.
5. It's Manbearpig. I know, I'm beating a dead... manbearpig, but it's one of those words that just gets funnier every time you say it.