Contest winners: Your song, but butter (er, better)


Last week's contest, in which we challenged you to tweak and improve the lyrics of your favorite songs, had a surprising but delightful side effect: a boatload of new mondegreens. I particularly liked one that reader Joel said belonged to his "buddy's high school girlfriend" -- yeah, Joel, we've all heard "my friend has a problem" before -- which substituted "God sent gravy" for "constant craving." Jordan alerted us to a lovely tune called "Alex the Seal," apparently written for the hundreds of confused Australian Go-Gos fans who called radio DJs to request it back in the '80s. Then there was "Big Ol' Jet Airliner." Note to Steve Miller -- next time you perform this in concert, someone in your audience will be singing:

  • "bingo Jed had a light on"
  • "big ol' jelly rhino"
  • "we're gonna jam at the lighthouse"
  • "pink hotel with the light on"
  • "big ol' Geralina"

But as much as we love these new lyrics ("big ol' jelly rhino" is definitely an improvement), we get the feeling they were unintentional and originally misheard. "Chant Macleod" thought so too, and suggested a different tweak for "Big Ol' Jet Airliner:"

How about changing "Big ol' jet airliner, don't carry me too far away" to something more topical, like: "Big ol' jet airliner, they took my carry-on bag away?"

I'd totally give this the prize if I weren't (a) traveling right now and (b) still smarting about the new carry-on regulations. It hits a little too close to home.

bacon.jpg /

The Ramones' "I Wanna be Sedated" is way more interesting when you sing "I wanna piece of bacon" instead.

Joey and Dee Dee would have been proud. Karen, send us your mailing address, and we'll get your book on its way!