Since we're running an election for a People's Tribune (two-and-a-half more days to go! Hurry up and get your campaigns rolling!), we thought we'd get into the spirit of things and provide some ready-made political promises for our candidates. Under their reigns, you will:

Move on up.

Have a free lunch. (With a yummy dessert.)

Notice an improvement in the look of your hair.

While away your free time on the ocean.

Eat, drink and be healthy.

Have a 6.2 handicap.

Have all the money in the world.

Engage in "exciting live talk."

Speak the universal language.

Die happy.

See you Monday, when the campaigning begins in earnest...