Greg Veis, YouTube Hunter: The Walken Chronicles


The YouTube Hunter is as pleased as any pampered coastal elite to see the Borat movie perform as well as it has. What the YouTube Hunter isn't so pleased about -- what's actually got him scarfing the Xanax again -- is the viral proliferation of Borat imitations across the country. I never thought I'd say this, much less for posterity, but all these hapless Borat imitators are making me wistful for all the hapless Christopher Walken imitators they seem to have replaced. With the exception of a very talented few (including the author of this must-read piece on the man himself), most people who "break out their Walken" in social situations -- not to be too harsh or anything -- should be executed. Slowly. And let's start with this guy.

Honestly, this is the worst Walken ever.

You'd be surprised -- or maybe you wouldn't -- how many people on YouTube are vying for the dubious honor of being the Worst Walken Imitator in the World. There are dozens (dozens!) of self-made videos where some dude just talks into the camera as Christopher Walken. The YouTube Hunter isn't quick to anger, but, for reasons written deep enough into his genetic code that he can't properly express them, this makes the YouTube Hunter very, very angry.

In the name of goodwill, you will not have to endure any more clips from these sad, sexless souls. Instead, you will be treated to the three best Walken imitations presently found on YouTube, and then to two of the best real Walken Walken moments. Walken Walken Walken.

But before we get to the videos, let me make one last plug: again, you will not read a better piece on Christopher Walken than this one. Read it.

Here's a prank by some suburban troublemakers who didn't get the memo from 1997 that said you can wear clothes within three sizes of fitting again. Still, this is very funny, especially the way he says "vanilla shake:"

The only beef the Hunter has with that last clip is that the Walken he believes in is a more benevolent Walken. Here's a dirty, slightly NSFW Walken:

And this is a mix of real Walken and fake. It's amazing how much more real Spacey's Walken seems. Just another way in which Walken makes us question the very nature of reality.

Finally, here's the man at his finest. First, in Fatboy Slim's "Weapon of Choice" video, directed by the ever-sharp Spike Jonze. And last, in Pulp Fiction, delivering a well-hidden heirloom.