It's getting to be about that time of year again...college admissions! There are the anorectic envelopes, the bulging ones, kids crying into safety school brochures and missing that field goal on purpose because: why try? If those ides are behind you, or if you loved your alma mater but it left you ambivalent, maybe it's time for...Clown College. Ringling Bros' and Barnum & Bailey Clown College closed its doors in '97 (after pumping out rock stars like Penn Jillette and Steve-O), so if your mourning has gone on long enough, here are a few places that'll turn your tuition into, well, some pretty major skills.

sadCommedia Gillet

WHERE: Stockholm, Sweden

COME FOR THE: Collective pursuit of "a visual theatre language that will make you laugh and wonder"

STAY FOR THE: (oh--you'll be staying) Syndrome

werClown Conservatory

WHERE: San Francisco

COME FOR THE: Emphasis on ethics and responsibility of clown life

STAY FOR THE: Chinese Acrobatics

sadfSankey Clown-Bullfighting School

WHERE: Across the U.S. 

COME FOR THE: Cowboy Protection Training

STAY FOR THE: "'Vision Quest' Bullfighting Adventure Experience (rodeo's version of fantasy baseball...with horns!)"

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