Your door is a jar. My mother is a chair.
Check out this turn of the century tintype, posted by Swapatorium, in which this baby's mother is actually disguised as the "chair" he's sitting in. Swapatorium's blogger says he has "a small collection" of mother-as-chair photographs, and a commenter mentions that the Columbus, Ohio Museum of Art devoted "a whole exhibition on the 'mother-disguised-as-furniture' genre" a few years ago. (The Victorians, I have to say, were strange, strange people.)